Second Chances-Chapter 13

By MyNameIsCAL

---Fang's POV---

The days moved slowly as Christmas got closer. I've seen Max and Alex a few times, but mostly I stay at Iggy's house. Ella was usually out, running around doing things for Mom or trying to find a job. It stressed Iggy out. He was helpless. There was nothing he could do, even if he wanted to.

"I'm so useless," he said angrily one day.

I frowned. "No you're not. You're around for Ella when she needs you and you can cook and even when Max or Mom needs something, you do your best to help. You are not useless."

"Alright, if you say so." But Iggy doesn't believe.

So I said, "I'm useless."

And he opened and closed his mouth, but I stood and walked away. I needed to get away for a while.

Days dragged on. I neglected my sleeping pills tonight and call RJ's cousin. I need a fix, badly. It's been too long.

Get your head straight, Fang.

"No, I need it," I muttered to myself, dialing the number.

You're going to disappoint a lot of people.

"I already disappoint myself," I growled. "Shut up!"

The fact that I was talking to myself should have stopped me from calling, but it didn't.

"Who's callin'?"

"Uhm, my name's Nick," I answered. "RJ gave me your number."

"Ah, Nick. RJ told me I might hear from you," he laughed. "My name's Steve. You need me to hook you up with something?"

"Yes, sir," I smiled. This excited me. Getting a fix.

"C'mon over to Marty's Bar. You know where that is?"

"Absolutely."

"Ring me when you get there," Steve concluded. "I'll be seeing you soon, my friend."

I remembered seeing the bar on the way to Iggy's house. Landing behind the dumpsters, I gave Steve another call. He told me to meet him in the front and he led me to his car.

"Let's go somewhere more private." He unlocked a car, beat up looking and faded black. "I'd get a nicer car, but it'd cause too much attention."

"Of course."

"So, watchya lookin' for?" he questioned, pulling out of the parking lot. "I got whatever you need. Pot, coke, meth, downers, ecstacy, heroin…"

"Heroin," I interrupted him. Was I already that out of control?

And Steve has that smile on his face, the one every dealer wears once he knows a good deal is going through. "Well, you're a man who knows what they want. I like you. RJ knows good customers. I gotta give him credit for that."

RJ, that poor kid. I should call him up, maybe, if I'm comprehensive enough. The ride to Steve's place doesn't take long. He really doesn't live that far from Iggy.

"The mistake that lots of dealers make is to wave their cash in everyone else's face," Steve rambled. "It's easier to keep things simple, keep the business to people you've figured out, and fit in."

"RJ felt the same way about that," I said. "Although he got sloppy a few times. The cops, I squeezed him out of a few jams."

"Really?" Steve raised an eyebrow. "How'd you manage that?"

I shrugged. "Connections. Ain't too hard to know someone."

Steve opened the door to his apartment. It's small. I could see the bedroom from the kitchen. There was a small sitting area that had a TV. It was simple, like Steve said he liked things to be.

"Do you want something to drink? Beer? Whiskey?"

I shook my head. Alcohol. I wouldn't touch that. The last thing I needed to do was be high and drunk.

Steve disappeared into the bedroom and came back with heroin packaged in little bags. He set them on the table. There was enough to last me a couple of weeks to a month. He sat down next to me, pushing one bag towards me.

"Seeing that it's your first time purchasing from me, I'll throw that in for free. How many more bags you want?" Steve was just excited about this deal as I was.

I so badly want to take all of it, but I'm not greedy. I'll leave with three little bags, including the one he threw in. He handed me some clean syringes on the way out. Something tells me I should fly home before I shoot up. I just said goodbye to about two hundred dollars. But this stuff was nearly pure, he claimed. Better than the stuff they got in New York, he promised me. I hoped he was right.

I took what I needed from what I got and hid the rest in my sock drawer. Feverishly, I find a vein and inject. The rush, oh how I missed it. I fell back onto the bed and close my eyes. Wasted already.

The next morning, I tried to ignore the urge to shoot more. I have to go out with Max and Alex today. I'm sure she'd notice if I was high on heroin still.

"Where are we going today?" I asked as I got into Max's car.

Max started to pull out of the driveway. I realized Alex wasn't in the car.

"Mom freaked out last night," Max let out a deep breath. "Forgot who we were and everything."

I didn't know what to say to Max.

"She's ok now. Working on making lunch for us," Max continued after my silence. "So we'll eat lunch at home and we can go out with Alex or something after."

But I can tell that Max was worn out already, like a train wreck waiting to happen. Well, that was me, but she wouldn't be too far behind.