Disclaimer: Some dialogue is borrowed from episode 03.13 "Dear Emily and Richard."
The Other Gilmore Girl
"Forgiveness is more than saying sorry!" -- Anna Farris (Just Friends)
Hope sends me to my room and I slam the door behind me as I enter. I am so mad I don't know what to do with myself. Lorelai was going to tell her. She was going to say it out loud completely disregarding what I wanted. No one ever listens to me. I am so tired of being ignored. At least Reese listens. He overreacts sometimes, but at least he knows how I feel. I lie on my bed and suddenly feel horrible. I am mad at my sister because of something I didn't even give her the chance to do. I wonder if it's enough that I knew she was going to do it, or if it makes me worse because I actually did do it. My sister is pregnant and I told our mother. I betrayed her.
I hear my father come in down stairs…and now my mother is going to tell him. He is going to be so upset, so disappointed. I go into my closet and change out of my bathing suit.
I hear someone coming upstairs and I wonder if it's for me, or her. My mother opens the door without knocking. "Downstairs, now," she says coldly. I throw on a pullover and do as I was told. Lorelai walks downstairs in front of me. I can see that she has changed to into a large purple shirt and loose jeans. We enter the room where our parents sit and we each take a seat on the couch. Aunt Hope is the corner wearing the same stone face as our mother.
"Rose," my mother states plainly. "Why did you say that your sister is pregnant?" for a second I think that she must not have believed me, but then I realize she just needs the proof.
I look over at Lorelai who is clearly steaming and sigh. "I heard her and Aunt Hope talking about it." I honestly lie. I did hear them talking about it but I can't break my promise and say that Lorelai told me herself. My answer catches Emily off guard. She looks up at her sister disbelievingly. I guess I'm not the only one who betrayed her sister's trust here.
My father holds the same tortured look as Lorelai. He, like his daughter, refuses to look up. "Lorelai," my mother says continuing her interrogation process. My sister doesn't move. "Are you pregnant?"
"Yes," Lorelai declares.
"And Christopher is the father?" Emily questions without missing a beat.
"Yes," she says again.
The doorbell rings, and my mother leaves her seat quickly to answer it. It's the Haydens that walk through the door. Not that I'm surprised. Aunt Hope goes up the stairs and Lorelai also gets up. I follow their example but my father remains in his chair staring at the floor.
"May I go?" I ask my mother and she nods in dismissal. I walk up the stairs quickly but I don't go into my room. I hide in the shadow at the top of the stairs. Christopher and Lorelai sit at the base of the stairs toward the bottom. We all listen as Emily tells the Hayden's what happened. I hear Francine burst into tears. My mother then offers to get her some water.
"This is unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable!" Straub yells in anger.
"I feel sick," Francine says weakly.
"Everything is gone. It's been tossed right out the window," Straub continues to rant. "Stop crying!" he yells at his wife.
"Here Francine, drink your water," my mother says reentering the room. "We all need to calm down. Getting upset isn't going to get us anywhere."
"What do we tell people?" Francine wonders out loud.
Emily answers. "Well, who needs to know?"
"What do you mean, who needs to know?" Straub asks raising his voice to my mother.
"Well, you don't have to yell at me, Straub." Mom returns.
"Everyone has to know, Emily. Everyone will know!" he says angrily, completing his previously started thought. "We can't pretend this didn't happen."
"You could send her away," Francine offers.
"Excuse me?" Emily asks.
"Aren't there places that take girls like that?"
"Girls like what, Francine?" my mother says defending my sister.
"Well, girls in… I can't handle this, I can't handle this at all," she says starting up the water works again.
"Stop crying, dammit!"
My mother speaks again, "Christopher is just as much to blame as Lorelai is."
"Like hell he is," Straub retorts.
"They are in this together," Mom snaps back.
"I don't see why. Why should Christopher sacrifice everything we've planned for him just because –"
"Choose your words very carefully, Straub," Emily warns.
Francine speaks up. "Emily, you know we love Lorelai, you know that. But Christopher's so young, he's a baby."
"Well, Lorelai isn't exactly collecting social security." Emily matches.
"Why doesn't she just get rid of it?" Straub asks coldly. My heart drops into my stomach I close my eyes afraid to get a glimpse of my sister's face.
"What?" Mom says shocked.
"Straub," Francine also speaks up.
"It's an option," Chris' father says casually.
"It most certainly is not an option!" my mother protests.
"Why not?" he asks.
"Because I say so," Emily adds plainly.
Straub raises his voice again. "Then what the hell are you suggesting, Emily? What's your great solution to this problem?" he asks.
For the first time all night I hear my father's voice. "They will get married, they will live here, and Christopher will go to work at my company. That is the solution. Now, we have a plan so we can all stop talking about it. Please excuse me, I have work to do."
Mom agrees. "I think Richard's plan sounds very sensible." So do I. I hear dad get up and slowly walk into his office.
"I just have one question – why his company?" Straub continues.
"What do you mean, why his company?" my mother says wondering why that man is being so difficult.
"Well, I have a law firm. Christopher could go to school," Straub suggests.
My attention is diverted from the adults arguing in the living room to my sister and her boyfriend on the staircase. "I know we're all upset here folks, but maybe we should ask the kids what they think. Lorelai, Christopher, anything to add here?" she says.
"Quiet, they'll hear you," her boyfriend reminds her.
"Not likely," she argues. "I don't know how much longer I can just sit here like this."
He tries to reason with her. "It's okay, let them talk."
She doesn't want to hear it. "They're talking about us."
"They're trying to figure out what to do," Chris continues.
"What to do with our lives – our lives! Yours and mine and…it's" she tells him putting her hand on her flat stomach.
"We're gonna need their help," he states calmly.
"We can take care of ourselves," She refutes.
"How?" he asks. I wonder about that too.
"We'll figure it out."
"It's okay," he tries again. "It sounds okay."
"What sounds okay?" Lorelai asks him.
"You know, working for your dad, living here. It sounds okay," he explains.
"Chris, no! What about Europe? What about sleeping on a bench in Paris?"
"We can't do that now. I have to get a job." They continue back and forth.
"No!" Lorelai objects.
"I have to make money."
"No!" she exclaims again.
"It's really okay," he repeats. She stops talking.
I can hear my mother in the other room. "You aren't even listening to each other," she says.
Francine cries harder. "Oh, for God's sake Francine, shut up!" Straub yells.
I don't want to listen anymore. So I really go to my room this time. I want to talk to my dad, but I am sure that he is in no mood. I wonder silently if Lorelai will ever forgive me or if I'll ever forgive myself for stopping her from telling.
I turn my radio on to drown out the muffled voices. About an hour or so later there is a knock on my door, it's our new maid Leila. "Your mother asked me to bring you this," she says handing me a plate. I take it cautiously because never once in my entire life have ever been allowed to eat anywhere but at the dining room table. "I'll be back later for your dishes," she finishes before walking away. I shrug and set the plate down. I'm not hungry right now. There are too many things on my mind. I lie on my bed and close my eyes trying to remember something happy, something good.
It was a cold December day and a fresh blanket of snow covered the ground.
I was four and Lorelai was six. We went to the park and had no greater desire than to swing on the swing. She had just lost her two front teeth so when she looked over and smiled at me there was a giant gap. I remember it was cold outside and we were dressed in layers and layers of clothing upon Emily's request. We had a nanny then, Isabella. Lorelai could swing by herself but I still needed help. Bella pushed me for a while and I giggled alongside my sister but she eventually got tired and went to sit on a park bench. I tried to do it myself but failed. Lorelai noticed this and stopped her swing.
"Look Rosie," she said. "Watch me." She took hold of the chains and lifted her feet off the ground and pushed against it. I mimicked her every movement but it still wasn't right I could hardly reach the ground and after only one try I gave up. Lorelai stopped her swing again and got off. "That's okay Rosie," she said. "I'll push you." And she did with all of her little six year old power.
"Higher Lorie, Higher!" I giggled.
I open my eyes and the sky is no longer dark. I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep. The plate I'd left on the dresser is no longer there and I have a blanket laid over me. I pull it off and get up. I have to change before breakfast unless last night's revelations caused the world to stop spinning which I highly doubt. I leave my room and walk across the hall planning to get on my knees and beg my sister's forgiveness. I think to myself that it won't help my chances if she is sleeping and I wake her, so I open the door just a little. She's not in bed. I open the door a little wider and see her bathroom light on. Against my better judgment I go in.
"Lorelai?" I say quietly but get no response. I keep going and push on the bathroom door that is already slightly ajar. She is on the floor and bent over the toilet. I believe that she has been up for awhile although she is still in her pajamas.
She looks up at me with glossy eyes before continuing to puke. I can see that she has a hard time keeping her balance and keeping her hair out of her face so I hurry behind her and pull her hair back. Thankfully she doesn't resist. When she is done she puts the lid down and lays her head on it. I let go of her hair and it falls down around her, covering her pale face.
"Lorie," I try but have no clue what to say.
My sister turns her face toward me. "Shhhh," she calmly breathes. "Not now Rosie, my head hurts, okay?" she says and I know that I am forgiven. I nod and reach out to help her up off the floor. She grabs hold of my arm for support with trembling hands and we go over to the sink. After she brushes her teeth we lay in her bed and watch television together until Emily calls for us.