last chapter!

Not that anyone cared but I dropped out of college... so go me...

Mark sat on the couch of the apartment he shared with Roger, he couldn't sleep, something about this night felt wrong. He could have been working on his documentary, or a new segment for Alexi but instead he was sitting here. Why did this night feel so weird?

At 2:43 am he got his answer. The phone rang, he let it go to voice mail as normal.

SPEEEEEAAAAAKKKKKK

"Mark," Collins voice came over the answering machine. "It's over."

His eyes shot over to the machine he felt like he was in a movie, no this was a mistake, or a joke. Angel was... Dead. He suddenly remembered every rude joke he and Roger made about him. How they were suck assholes to him behind is back, but then he remembered how much he admired Angel. How nothing held him back, being deaf and a musician, the most confident and beautiful drag queen.

His eyes began to fill with tears. He wanted to go wake up Roger and Mimi and tell them the news but instead he got up and went to bed pretending none of this ever happened and it was all just a dream.

Two days later on October 31st, 1989 they had the funeral.

Collins was the only person there when Mark arrived. The filmmaker walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Um, Collins?" He managed meekly, Collins turned to face him but stayed silent. "I-I'm sorry...for, for your loss."

The anarchist gave him a look that shot daggers. Mark took a step away, he was always terrible with words especially at things like this. He sighed wishing Roger was there he knew what Collins was going through.

Before he could stop himself he began speaking again, "He didn't deserve this."

"You're damn right he didn't" Collins snapped.

"I know, I-I just wish..." He took a deep breath and continued. "I wish it was me... I wish it would have been me in there instead of him. We can't lose Angel, no one would care if I died though."

Tears streamed down his pale face, his breathing hysterical. He was suddenly wrapped up in a hug from Collins.

"Mark, I wish more than anything in this world that anyone else was in that box instead of my Angel, but not you. Please, for both of our sake stop talking." Collins smiled through his tears. "You're terrible with words."

"I-I-I just want to apologize for everything I said, or didn't say, I wish he was still here."

"So do I more than anyone. It's not fair..."

"He finally had everything. He could hear, he had you, he was happy."

Collins broke down crying, "God damn it what did I say about talking."

Mark managed a sympathetic smile knowing he wasn't actually mad.

"I know you're trying, and you're scared, and you're lonely, and you think no one will miss you. But Mark," Collins begged. "It's so much easier to be in your shoes."

"I wish you were right," Mark whispered under his breath.

People began to come through the doors, they walked up to pay their respects and talk to Collins. Mark took his seat, today wasn't about him. It was about Angel. Collins was right it is harder to see your lover die than your friend but Mark would have to go through this many more times. Most of his friends had a clock quickly ticking over them. They'll go the same way Angel did leaving him alone.

Stop it! He mentally cursed himself. This isn't about you!

Once the service started people walked up to say a few words, appropriately Mimi went first. Mark quickly searched his memory for the nicest memory he had of Angel. His hands began to shake as he found one and waited for her to finish so he could go up there.

Mimi stepped down, Mark quickly stood up and looked at Roger, he was crying but managed to shake his head at him, telling him no. Mark gulped faced his fears and walked up there. He shared his story, it was light hearted and funny capturing Angel's confidence and humor perfectly. A few people in the crowd laughed. He took his seat again, more people went up. They all kept the same tone of stories. It's exactly how she would have wanted it.

Collins was the last to speak, he had a hard time keeping it together as did the rest of the crowd. Mark, however, felt numb he couldn't cry anymore.

When the service ended everyone took off from the grave yard in a huff. Mark and Collins looked at each other and understood. They just wanted to be alone, even though it was a bad idea, they just wanted to get away from everything. They hugged and began to walk in opposite directions.

Mark suddenly turned around, "COllins?" he called. "Do you want to grab a drink?"

Collins managed half a smile and laughed dryly, "Sure." he shrugged.

Mark joined him at his side they walked in silence, they didn't have to be alone. When Angel couldn't hear he was never alone he found away to communicate to with everyone around him.

Collins gave one more look over his shoulder before the grave was out of sight.

Goodbye Love

Fuck its finally done. sorry the ending was shit i didnt know what to do