Looney Tunes & Space Jam: Back in Action – The Extended Version, Chp. 13: Hades' Words of Wisdom
Looney Tunes & Space Jam: Back in Action – The Extended Version, Chp. 13: "Hades' Words of Wisdom"

Looney Tunes & Space Jam: Back in Action – The Extended Version
Chapter 13: "Hades' Words of Wisdom"

Summary: Hey, even sarcastic cartoon characters can give out words of wisdom! In this chapter, the MonStars call Hades for words of advice on how to deal with Swackhammer and his domineering ways over them. Will Hades' words mean something to the MonStars in the end?

Dedication: To MonstarzGirl, LooneyWriter and anyone who utilizes their creativity to full potential.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Nerdlucks / MonStars, Looney Tunes and Cartoon All-Stars, nor do I own Michael Jordan. I only own Darius Magnificent, Hitman Hollywood, Lindsay Williams, Cleopatra "Princess" Carter, Sabrina Collins and Jessica Williams, my original characters.

Location: Warner Bros. Boardwalk – Looney Tune Land, Animation Multiverse

While the Tunes were speaking with Michael and the girls about the hours set for basketball practice before the Ultimate Game, Bugs and Darius managed to find some free time to engage in a sightseeing tour through Looney Tune Land. Bugs was telling Darius about the history of Looney Tune Land's creation as Darius was listening to his story with looks of interest.

"... So, you see, we built this place as a way for us Toons to find some rest and relaxation after a long day on the set," Bugs explained. "In all honesty, I don't whose idea it was to build Looney Tune Land in the center of the Earth or, at least, a reasonable facsimile thereof, but hey ... anything goes, I guess."

"Interesting," Darius said while nodding his head. "I just have a sinking suspicion that Zim would want to build this place near the center of the Earth, but I think Grim would also have that idea."

"Well, Grim said he used to be the 'King of the Underworld'," Bugs said. "If he suggested this, I'd assume he just wanted this place to feel like home."

While Darius and Bugs were walking through the Warner Bros. Boardwalk, they noticed the MonStars sitting at a nearby park bench from afar. Darius and Bugs both looked at each other, wondering why the MonStars were sitting in the park, looking sad. Hoping to figure out what was going on, the two walked up to the MonStars as Darius said, "Hey, fellas, what's going on? Aren't you supposed to be practicing for the Ultimate Game or something?"

The MonStars all looked at Bugs and Darius as Pound just sighed and said, "Oh, hey, guys, we just have a lot of stuff on our mind right now."

"So, what's going on?" Bugs asked.

Blanko was about to say something, but Bupkus brushed him off as he said to Bugs, "Trust me, Bugs, you wouldn't understand."

"Come on, fellas, do I look like Daffy Duck to ya?" Bugs asked in a sarcastic manner.

The MonStars all sighed as Blanko said, "Alright, Bugs, you win. Listen, while you guys were preparing for practice, Nawt was watching you and the Toons from afar, but he quickly laid eyes on Sabrina Collins, one of the girls who accompanied Darius on this trip."

Darius just raised an eyebrow as he asked, "Nawt, why were you wondering what the Toons were doing?"

"Hey, it wasn't even like that!" Nawt said in a defensive tone. "I just saw one of the girls and she was the most-beautiful person I have ever seen. I wanted to express my true feelings for her."

"Well, it sounds like you guys found yourselves in a little love dilemma," Bugs said while munching on a carrot.

"You can say that again, Bugs," Bang said. "Since Swackhammer called us to see how we were doing, he said we couldn't speak to the girls until after we win the game."

"Wait, why would Swackhammer keep you from seeing your new girlfriends?" Darius asked.

"You know how Swackhammer is," Pound said. "He thinks those girls are going to be threats to our game, wanting to take our kindness for weakness and sneak in some secrets to you guys."

"Well, I highly doubt they would throw you off of your game," Bugs said. "Besides, those girls are too laidback to be considered a threat. Are you just going to sit there and let Swackhammer push you around?"

"Well, what else are we supposed to do, Bugs?" Bang said. "Swackhammer is our boss and he said if we fail this mission, he would have a bad punishment set up for us once we get back to Moron Mountain."

Darius and Bugs could only look at each other as Darius asked, "What ... punishment did he have in mind, anyway?"

"I don't know and I don't want to go back to space to find out," Bang said while shrugging his shoulders.

"In layman's terms, the punishment is going to be ugly," Nawt said while shivering.

Darius tried to think of a better idea, then he said, "Well, couldn't you guys get another boss or something? I mean, I'm sure you have other connections, right?"

"Well ... Swackhammer did mention his old friend, Hades," Pound said. "I just wish we had him for a boss. I mean, he sounds like he's the life of the party and he's more reasonable than Swackhammer."

"If that's even possible," Nawt said under his breath.

"Well, I don't know what else to tell ya, fellas," Bugs said as he and Darius started to leave the park. "Honestly, I hope you guys find a way to deal with this current dilemma. Otherwise, if things don't end the way you intended, you can kiss your new girlfriends goodbye."

The MonStars all sighed sadly until Bugs said, "However, if you could get some help from Hades, I think you should call him and let him know what's up. I'm sure he'll understand your love dilemma."

Once Darius and Bugs left the park, Blanko stood up and said, "Darius and Bugs are right, dudes! We can't just sit around and let Swackhammer boss us around like that. Besides, we are tall enough to make our own decisions now—listen to me, I sound like a rebellious teenager now—and we can't let him stop us from seeing our girlfriends!"

The MonStars started to become more confident as Nawt also stood up and said, "You got that right, Blanko! If we keep letting Swackhammer boss us around, how are we going to get the respect we deserve?"

"That's what I'm talking about, guys!" Pound said with confidence. "How about we call Hades and let him know about our new girlfriends?"

Nawt grabbed his cellphone and started to dial the Moron Mountain number as he said, "Don't worry about a thing, Pound, I got this."

Location: Moron Mountain – Outer Space

On Moron Mountain, Hades was busy watching Hercules on the little television screens, watching for his highlights from the film itself. He was laughing at some of his wisecracks and one-liners until he heard the phone ring. After hearing the phone ring, he picked up the phone and said, "Hello, you have reached one of the most-sarcastic characters in the history of cinema here. May I ask who I am speaking to?"

"Hey, Hades, it's Nawt," Nawt said on the other line.

"Oh, if it isn't the MonStars," Hades said while chuckling. "So, how are things at Looney Tune Land? Have you turned Looney Tune Land into a mass dystopian society yet or something crazy like that?"

"Well, no, I am calling you for some advice," Nawt said.

"Sure thing, kiddo," Hades said. "So, what do you wanna know?"

"Did he tell you anything about the girls we met here in Looney Tune Land?" Nawt asked.

"Well, I did remember him mentioning these girls named Victoria Rath, Nada Sampson, Lindsay Williams, Cleopatra Carter and Sabrina Collins," Hades said. "Why? Did he threaten to cut off all contact between you and the girls until you win the Ultimate Game against those Toons?"

"Yeah," Nawt said in amazement. "How did you know that?"

"Trust me, Swackhammer seems to have a problem with seeing his allies dating somebody for some reason," Hades said. "I think he must be blinded by the business to forget about the finer things of life."

"Very intriguing," Nawt said. "So, do you have any advice on how we should deal with Swackhammer?"

Hades was thinking about the advice for a moment until an idea finally came to him and he said to Nawt, "Well, if you guys don't want to be under Swackhammer's wing for any longer, you guys could stand up to him and defy his orders by joining the Toons' side. Once you do that, it'll hopefully teach him a thing or two about respect. Also, once his Moron Mountain empire is crushed, you can always open your own business in Looney Tune Land and I could even come down there to help you guys run that business."

"Wow ... well, thanks for the advice, Hades," Nawt said.

"No problem, Nawt," Hades said while laughing. "I'm glad we had this talk about this subject."

"So am I," Nawt said before hanging up his cellphone. "Thanks for the help, Hades, hope to talk you again soon."

"My pleasure, Nawt," Hades said. "Talk to you guys later and here's hoping you prepare for Swackhammer's downfall!"

As Hades hung up the phone, Swackhammer overheard the hot-headed trickster from the other room as he walked into the room and asked, "What's this I hear about somebody preparing for my downfall?"

"Ah, lighten up, sourpuss!" Hades said while laughing. "I was just talking to the MonStars."

"Oh, really? What did they want?" Swackhammer asked.

"Well, they called to ask what was your current weight, so they could buy you some new clothes," Hades said sarcastically.

"Oh, cut it out!" Swackhammer said in an annoyed tone. "You think those sarcastic comments make you the life of the party?"

"Well, I guess you are forgetting that you are talking to the man who was voted 'Best Comedian' at Moron Mountain High School," Hades said with a smirk. "Besides, I've got a million of zingers!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Swackhammer said as he left the room. "Just focus on helping me revive Moron Mountain and making sure those Toons lose to the MonStars in the basketball game on Friday."

Once Swackhammer was out of earshot, Hades turned to the audience and said, "Sheesh, I thought I was supposed to be the hothead."

While the MonStars are currently dealing with the love dilemma involving their new girlfriends, Hades steps in with a surprising amount of wisdom that could be beneficial for the MonStars near the end. However, that plan could be at risk if Swackhammer manages to get an earful of the situation. Can the MonStars keep their plan under wraps without Swackhammer knowing anything about it? Who will be the newest recruit for the ToonSquad? "Stay Tooned" for the next chapter to find out, folks!