Olivia retreated to the kitchen, needing to get away from Alex, so she could pretend that everything was normal between them. She hated herself for speaking so harshly to Alex – Alex was doing her best. She couldn't help her fear, or her pain. It wasn't her fault, and now Olivia was punishing her for it, however unintentionally.
She could hear Alex crying in the other room, and she sighed. She wasn't sure whether or not Alex would want it, so she just did what felt right. She went back into the bedroom and sat down on the bed beside Alex. "It's okay, princess," she murmured, lightly stroking Alex's hair. She took her girlfriend into her arms and pressed a gentle kiss to the crown of her head.
Alex curled into Olivia and let the detective soothe her tears. She buried her face in Olivia's shoulder and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's neck. "I – I'm sorry," she whimpered.
"Shh, sweetie." Olivia smoothed Alex's hair and held her close. "You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just . . . frustrating . . . when you're upset and you won't let me help you. I know it's not your fault, but . . . it scares me, Alex. And I think it scares you, too. I don't want to violate you, or force you to do anything you don't want to do. But at the same time, you're hurting, and all I want to do is help. So tell me what to do, and I'll do it. Whatever you need."
"I don't know," whispered Alex. "I'm sorry, Liv. I know you love me and I know you want to help, but maybe – maybe I'm just damaged goods. Maybe I'm too broken for you to fix."
"Don'tsay that, Alex. You're not damaged, not a single bit. And you're not broken, and I'm not here to fix you. All I want is for you to start feeling better, about yourself and about the world. I love you, and I always will, no matter what."
"Oh, Liv." Alex bowed her head and leaned into Olivia, wetting her shirt with her tears. "You're too good for me. I'm breaking you. I'm trying to be good, but – I don't deserve you."
"Sweetie, I just want you to be happy, and I'll do whatever it takes to help you get there. That's all."
"But maybe it's too late."
"It isn't too late for us, Alex. I promise, I'll be here for you every step of the way."
"But, Liv, it's too late for me. I don't want to hurt you, and that's all I'm doing."
"That's not true, baby."
"But – but why?"
"Because I love you, Alex," Olivia said simply. "And that's enough for me."
Alex sighed and pulled out of Olivia's embrace. "I'm afraid," she whispered, hardly daring to voice the words.
Olivia slid over so she was sitting next to Alex again. "What are you afraid of, baby?"
Alex's words were barely audible, but still they tugged at Olivia's heartstrings. "That you'll leave me."
"Sweetheart, I'm not going to leave you. I love you, and I will be here for you no matter what."
"But – but I'm not beautiful anymore."
Olivia lifted Alex's chin and looked right into her eyes. "You're beautiful to me."
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