Okay at some point I'm going to have to cool it with the updates and do my actual work and that someday is Sunday, tomorrow. Nessy22, Laure Saint-Yves and Dizzy Lizzy.60, I'm glad to see praise for Bingley. It has bothered me that in some fan fiction he is dismissed as a puppy dog or completely spineless. He IS very different from Darcy, but isn't that often the way friendships go? Yes, he has his own set of flaws but I wanted to show the qualities that explain why they are such good friends. MerytonMiss with your background you may have a better sense than I if I am getting this Darcy right; it isn't just you, I did not have any sense that something was different about my child except that he was behind on speech and was horrified when the experts tallied up their list. Guest, I've been more than satisfied by the number of reviews I've been getting for a story that is mere days old. Now we get to some fun because I get to create a whole new storyline for what happens after they get to London, before Darcy goes to visit his aunt for Easter. I keep getting asked and want to continue to reassure you that yes there will be a HEA. This chapter may be a bit over the top. BTW, I don't know if anyone has noticed, but I've occasionally been having Darcy have a rhyming couplet in expressing his thoughts because I think it would amuse him to do so; it is kind of a private game he is playing. There are more than usual in this chapter.
When I departed with Bingley's family for London, I had no particular plan to keep Bingley there. I needed time to consider my attachment to Miss Elizabeth and what I should do and I could not properly stay at Netherfield when my hosts did not.
Within the fortnight I received an odd letter from Mr. Collins which resulted in me deciding to stay in London until it was time to depart to visit my aunt. I should not have been surprised that a man who would deign to speak with me without an introduction would seek to impress me with his servitude through an unsolicited letter. I wonder at his knowing how to find my address.
First he had many flowery phrases praising how like I was like the Right Honorable Lady Catherine de Bourgh, and it was his duty to serve her and her family faithfully, then humbly bragged about his engagement to Miss Lucas and expectations of joining the esteemed ranks of gentlemen landholders when Mr. Bennet passed. My relief at his engagement to another besides Miss Elizabth (I had worried when I saw her dance the first with him, bumbling fool that he was) was rapidly replaced with fear for the Miss Bennets' future. I did not want to see Miss Elizabeth become a governess or nanny where at best she would have to become meek and unassuming to please her employer and at worse she might be forced to service a master's desires.
There is much evil in the world and I recalled learning of this particular evil from my cousin Colonel Edwin Fitzwilliam, who had told me that the woman under his protection got her start in that profession from just such a scenario. This was before he offered me the use of her to join the ranks of men. He was trying to explain that I would like her, as she had understanding and education. The whole idea was abhorent. How could he offer her in such a way and why would I want to share such an intimacy with a stranger who was paid to lay with him?
Even a casual touch from a stranger when exchanging a few coins makes me uncomfortable. I startle easily when touched by someone I do not see approach me. I dislike the touch of most people but have learned not to fear it, though George's faked affectionate nudges were abhorent to me.
With those whom I am comfortable, a simple touch causes no distress. I liked the embrace of my mother, Nanny Stewart, and Georgiana. Professor Hanson's congratulatory shaking of my hand or clasp of my shoulder was pleasant enough. I can lounge next to Bingley with perfect comfort and tolerate with no distress his sisters on my arms when I escort them.
I may be rigid in my thoughts, but I think rigidity is good and proper when it comes to God's laws. A man should cleave to his wife and no other. Edwin laughed at me when I expressed such thoughts, but then let me be.
But I digress, the letter had but barely begun. Mr. Collins wished to warn me that an officer was claiming a close relationship with me which must be false, for why would I associate with a steward's son? While I had no rank, my esteemed relatives ensured I was not of his circle and it was his Christian duty to warn me as such rumors might also taint my beloved betrothed Miss de Bourgh. A Mr. Wickham had been desparaging me most severely. Many rumors had reached Mr. Collins ears. He related each person who had shared one and what it was. I did not recognise a single name. Perhaps they were all drunkards or simpletons themselves. The stories ranged from those with a grain of truth to the utterly ridiculous. It was claimed I spent my first five years mute but for barking like a dog, to learn to speak I required treats like a dog, or Mr. Wickham taught me to speak, by working like a dog. I was the result of bad blood. I was insane, my sanity was questionable, I belonged in an asylum. My intelligent speech was but a parlor trick, the result of memorization and not thought. Wickham completely all my work at university for the sake of pleasing my father. Wickham tutored me. Wickham was paid to be my friend but when my father died he never received what was due and I further stole his inheritance. My father wished Mr. Wickham was his son. I was master of Pemberly in name only.
Mr. Collins assured me that all quality people discounted these rumors as fabrications but did not share who such persons might be. He advised me to forgive the rumor mongers but never give any attention to this town or set foot in Meryton again. Finally, Mr. Collins related his sincere apologies for his dear cousins part in one last rumor: Mr. Bingley and I were simple. We sought gentlemen's daughters to improve our stock. They had laughed and said having babes from idiots was not worth fine dresses and carriages; they preferred military men. He corrected them most vehemently, but he regretted to say his cousins still believed Mr. Wickham's account. However, the Miss Lucases accepted his superior knowledge. He was pleased with how Miss Lucas was of one mind with him and would gladly demean himself further to remain my humble servant.
While I did not know the younger Miss Bennets well, I knew Miss Lucas was Miss Elizabeth's particular friend. I hoped Miss Elizabeth had no part in such cruel rumors but I also had no desire to visit Netherfield or the surrounding environs again.
I shared the letter with Mr. Bingley. While he doubted such rumors could be and that the elder Miss Bennets could have any part in such lies, he could not explain why Mr. Collins omitted any words from them in defense of us. He sighed and said "I thought Miss Bennet shared my affection. I planned to ask her to be my bride but I want no bride that is inconstant and perhaps that is what she may be. Surely if it is the younger sisters relating these thoughts, the elders might quell and correct them even if their mother would not." He also related that he had no desire to dwell in a place where they did not properly value his friend. Oh what a loyal friend he is to me.
I considered but could not recall any particular sign of affection from Miss Bennet toward him and told him that, but also reminded him that I was not the best judge of such things and was distracted by Miss Elizabeth. He smiled then and said he had noticed my affection for her, but unhappily it now appeared we were both crossed in love.
He enquired of his sisters as to their opinion of Miss Bennet without showing them the letter. They allowed her to be sweet but also advised him to stay away as it would be a most unfortunant connection. He looked distressed yet still agreed. His sisters kept us busy by shopping for furniture we did not need.