I'm currently sitting in the waiting room waiting anxiously for news about Aria and our baby. The paramedics rushed her into the ER almost two hours ago and the girls and I are still yet to hear anything about her condition.
"I'm a fucking idiot." I whisper putting my head in my hands.
"Ezra. Stop." Spencer warns, rubbing my back with her hand. "Aria will be fine. You need to stop beating yourself up about this."
I wipe a tear from my cheek, "She doesn't deserve this."
"Ezra, you saved her life." Emily reminds me. I scoff, "Don't you get it? I'm the reason she's in the emergency room!" Tears blur my vision once again. If only the girls knew that I wasn't only worried about Aria but also our unborn baby. "If I hadn't let her leave the restaurant alone she would be okay right now!"
The girls share an uneasy glance. "What?" I ask.
"Ezra, what happened with you and Aria?" Hanna asks.
I sigh. "I told Aria the truth. I'm not going to make it through this. I have a 67 percent of survival and an even smaller chance of making it through surgery. I told Aria I want her to move on after I'm gone. I just want her to be happy." I put my head in my hands, disgusted with myself.
I hear a scoff come from Spencer, "Do you even know how much you mean to Aria? I can't even imagine how she felt when you said that. Of course she left the restaurant! How did you expect she would react to you basically telling her you were giving up on her?"
"Aria would do anything for you, Ezra. Anything. Hell, she spent three weeks doing nothing but taking care of you! She loves you and you're leaving her. Right now she probably feels betrayed and alone." Hanna chimes in.
Tears run freely down my face and I let out a broken sob. Don't they realize I know that? Don't they know this isn't my choice? I didn't choose cancer it chose me. I look up to see the girl's surprised faces, obviously taken aback by my sobs. "I know. I fucking know. I love her. God, I love her." I whisper, laughing darkly.
Emily clears her throat, "Ezra, a few weeks ago…while you were getting chemo, the girls and I came to visit Aria in the hospital. She was a mess, puffy eyes, and messy hair. She said something that made me realize exactly how much you mean to her. She said, "I wish it were me." Did you hear me? She said she wished she were the one dying with cancer. If that's not true love then I don't know what is."
My eyes widen. She said that? No. That's crazy. She knows I wouldn't be able to live with myself if she were sick.
Emily continues, "I know Aria doesn't blame you for giving up. But, I do know Aria needs you. She needs you here. Alive. I see it when she looks at you. You're her everything."
I need to fix this. For Aria.
"Do you love Aria?" Spencer asks suddenly. "More than life." I respond immediately. She smiles, "I know you do. And I know you want to do what's best for her." I nod. "But think about this. You know that feeling of pure terror and panic you had the minute you found Aria?"
"That would be an understatement." I mumble. Spencer continues, "Aria feels that. Every. Single. Day. Every morning she wakes up and remembers her boyfriend is dying. She calls me in the middle of the night crying over a nightmare she had about you."
I gasp. I've never thought about that way. "The cancer isn't just killing you, Ezra. It's killing Aria."
Everything comes together in my mind. Why hadn't I noticed this before? Aria hasn't been eating or leaving the house. She's pale. She's depressed. "Oh god, oh god. Aria. I'm an idiot." I sob before running an anxious hand through my messy hair.
Hanna rubs my back with the palm of her hand, "She needs you to be okay."
"I need to apologize. I need to tell her I love her. Oh god, Aria." I start rambling. I thank the girls for everything before walking to the front desk. "Do you know how Aria Montgomery is doing?" I ask nervously.
The lady smiles warmly, "She's okay for the most part. She's been screaming for someone in her sleep. Do you know an Ezra?" My heart sinks, "I'm Ezra." Her eyes widen, "Oh! Come with me."
The women leads me to a tiny hospital room but we stop outside of the door. "Mrs. Montgomery has been through a lot so she might be a little emotional. Nightmares and mood swings are common." The nurse warns me. I nod, "Can I please see her?" I ask.
She smiles, "Of course, just be cautious. Don't say anything that might upset her. Call me if you need anything. I'll come in to check on her later."
"Thank you. I-is the baby ok?" I ask, anxiously. "We did an ultrasound. Fortunately, your baby boy is perfectly healthy." The nurse reassures me.
My eyes widen, "A b-boy?" She smiles. "Congratulations."
"Wow. Thank you so much, for everything." I say sincerely. "My pleasure." The women smiles softly before down the hall into another patient's room.
I mentally prepare myself for what I'm about to do. I need to tell Aria how sorry I am. She can't keep living in fear of losing me because that is never going to happen. I'm never leaving her.
I wipe the tears still flowing from my eyes before opening the door to Aria's room.
I walk silently as possible to my sleeping girlfriend's hospital bed. "Hey, baby." I whisper.
Aria begins to whimper in her sleep and my heart breaks. She must be having another nightmare. "Ezra help me." She cries. The sound is all it takes for me to completely loose it. I wrap my arms around her and sob into her hair. "I'm here, Sweetheart. I'm not leaving you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you."
Aria's cries die down as she stirs awake. The room is silent for a moment before she lets out a blood curdling scream. "Aria!" My eyes widen in fear. "Ezra! Help me!" She screams. "Jake, please don't hurt me!"
I realize Aria is in shock from everything that's happened. She thinks she's in that bastards arms, not mine. I softly grab her face in my hands, "Aria, it's me Ezra. I'm here. You're safe. I'm here." Salty tears flow freely from her eyes, "N-no. This isn't real. I'm dead. I lost my baby. Ezra is leaving me. This must be heaven. You're my heaven."
My heart breaks at the sight in front of me. I can't help but crash my lips against hers. "It's me. I'm here, Aria. You're alive. Thank God you're alive." I whisper against her bruised lips. "I don't believe you." She whispers.
I kiss her again, this time with more force. "It's me." I repeat. "No. My Ezra isn't hear. He's gone. He's leaving me." Her voice cracks on the last word.
This is all my fault. My Aria is broken and I never even noticed. "No, baby. No. It's Ezra. Your Ezra. I'm not leaving you. I love you." My voice is strained from crying. I want her to listen to me. I need her to listen.
I kiss her forehead repeatedly. "Aria. Please." I whisper. I'm surprised when I feel her tiny arms wrap around my neck. I feel her tears soaking my shirt. "Oh, Aria" I breath, relived. I pull her into my arms and cradle her like a two year old. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please forgive me." I plead with her.
She lifts her head to look me in the eyes. "Oh course I forgive you. D-don't apologize. I love you." She tightens her arms around me, "I'm sorry." She sobs.
"Why?" I ask, confused. "I lost our baby." She whispers. My eyes widen, "Our baby is perfect Aria. He's perfect."
"He?" Her tiny voice asks. I laugh. "It's a boy, baby. I'm going to be a father to a beautiful baby boy. Thank you, Aria. You've made me so happy. So so happy." I kiss her lovingly.
"What happened?" She asks me.
"I got your text and Spencer and I found you unconscious in her barn. God, I was so worried I'd lost you." I whisper, pushing a strand of her long brown hair behind her ear.
Aria looks up at me, confused. "And Jake?" I shudder at the name, "He didn't touch you Aria. He's in custody now. You're safe."
"He didn't ra-"I cut her off, not even wanting to think about the possibility. "No." I answer before pulling her closer to me. "He didn't touch you, Aria. He'll never touch you." Aria plays with my fingers, "Are you ok?" She whispers. I bury my face in the crook of her neck. "As long as you're safe, Aria, I'm perfect." She doesn't respond but she seems tense.
"Sweetheart, we're okay. Everything is fine." I begin to massage her shoulders before leaning down to kiss her neck.
"I'm not okay, Ezra." She croaks.
"What do you mean, baby?" I ask, confused. As far as I'm concerned, Aria is perfect. She's safe. Our baby is healthy. I'm going to make sure everything is fixed. So what does she mean?
Aria removes my hands from her shoulders and turns around to face me. I wait for her to answer my question but she doesn't respond she just kisses me. I pull away, reluctantly. "Aria. Talk to me. What's wrong?"
"I miss you." She whispers.
I wrap my arms around her once again. "I'm here. I'm always here."
Aria looks up at me, confused. "You aren't leaving me?"
"Aria, I can't promise you that I won't leave you. But I can promise you that If I do leave, it will not be my choice. Leaving you will never be my choice. I'm going to fight until cancer takes my last breath." I respond. "I was a coward, Aria. But today made me realize... I need you. I need to be with you. I need to protect you. I need to see that beautiful smile every morning. I need to be the best father I can to our little boy."
Tears of joy run down Aria's face, "You'll be an amazing father." She whispers before kissing every inch of skin on my face. "I. Love. You. So. Much." She breaths in between kisses.
"Aria?" I ask softly. We are tangled in each others arms in Aria's hospital bed. "Mhm?" She mumbles, sleepily.
"Marry me." I whisper, running my hand through her hair. Her body tenses, "What?" She sits up.
"I don't have a ring." I smile. "But I promise I will have one when I propose. When that day comes, will you agree to marry me?"
She laughs, as if it's the stupidest question in the world, "Of course I will." I wrap my hand around hers. "Good." I say softly.
What did you think? Are you glad Aria is okay? Were you surprised by the "proposal" at the end? I'd like to thank everyone on instagram who encouraged me to update! I was just lacking passion for this story. If you guys could leave ideas for future chapters that would be much appreciated. Thank you guys! Please review. I'll update at 60 reviews.