Latter Days

What a beautiful peace of heartache this has all turned out to be.

COURTNEY'S POV

I got home after my confrontation with Duncan and sat in my car for a moment. I checked my reflection in the rearview mirror to find my face was all read and my eyes were swollen, not to mention my smudged mascara, it was pretty obvious I'd been crying. I did the best I could to clean up my face and make myself presentable before getting out of the car and heading upstairs.

As I rode the lift I tried to figure out where I was going to tell Scott I'd gone, what lie I was going to come up with this time to make sure he never found out my horrible secret. I stopped outside the door, still not knowing what I was going to say to him. I could hear voices and I remembered that his parents were still there. I really didn't want to have to deal with them. Lying to Scott was bad enough, but his parents were such nice people, they deserved better than my lies. Come to think of it, maybe Scott deserved better too. Hell, I deserved better. What was I even doing with Scott? I didn't love him anymore. If I'd even ever loved him at all. Why had I stayed with him for so long? Because I was afraid to hurt his feelings? That wasn't like me at all. Since when had I started putting Scott's feelings above my own?

I glanced down at the engagement ring on my finger, its perfect princess cut glittering at me, daring me to take it off. I wriggled the diamond off my finger, and suddenly my left hand felt a whole lot lighter, and somehow so did the weight on my shoulders. Now I just had to tell Scott.

I took a deep breath and unlocked the door where three faces turned to greet me with happy smiles. I felt bad that they wouldn't be happy much longer, but I couldn't let that deter me.

"Geraldine, Tim, do you mind if I talk to Scott alone for a moment?" I asked politely. I had to get this done before I changed my mind.

"Of course, dear!" Geraldine said. "We'll take our things out to the car while you two chat." She and Tim grabbed their bags and hurried out of the apartment. She didn't seem worried so I guess she hadn't figured out what I was actually going to say to Scott. Once they were gone and the door was shut behind them I turned my attention to Scott.

"What is it? Is everything alright?" he asked. I simply shook my head and handed him the ring. "What's wrong with it? Is it a fake? Is it not big enough? Do you not like the design?" he asked anxiously.

"Nothing's wrong with the ring Scott," I said quietly.

"I don't understand," he said hopelessly.

"I don't want to marry you," I confessed. Scott was speechless for a moment. "Can you just take the ring, Scott?" I said in frustration. He took the ring from my hand finally and I dropped my arm.

"Is this because of the farm thing? Because we don't have to live on a farm if you don't want to…" Scott rambled.

"It's not about the farm…"

"My parents? I know they aren't as sophisticated as your parents but…" he continued.

"It's not your parents!" I interrupted, but Scott didn't seem to hear me.

"Or maybe it's my sister… or the fact that I don't have a job? Or maybe it's because I want twelve kids? But whatever it is, we can work it out! I'd give up everything for you!" Scott pleaded.

"I know, but I could never ask you to do that…" I shook my head.

"Don't do this, Courtney, please. I love you. Surely we can talk about this…" Scott was about to go off on another ramble so I cut him off the only way I could think of that would make sure he didn't try to convince me not to break up with him.

"Scott!" I practically yelled. "I slept with Duncan!"

"What?" Scott stopped mid sentence.

"I said I slept with… someone else," I repeated.

"Did you say Duncan?" he said quietly. I nodded, looking guilty.

"What… how?" Scott stammered, looking stricken.

"How what?" I asked.

"How… how could you do this?" Scott finally found his tongue again.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

"Duncan of all people? Don't you remember what he did to you?" Scott reminded me harshly.

"I remember very clearly thanks," I snapped.

"Fucking hell. I can't believe you would do this to me. I guess you lied about Cameron too, huh?" Scott sneered. I knew he was hurt, but I didn't expect him to be so vengeful.

"No! I never kissed Cameron, at least not on purpose!" I defended.

"How can I believe you?" Scott said.

"I guess you can't," I spat. It didn't matter now anyway. It's not like I'd imagined we could be friends after this anyway.

"You and Duncan deserve each other," Scott scoffed. I didn't bother to tell him I wasn't planning on going back to Duncan. He strode into the bedroom and came back out five minutes later with a bag of his stuff.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"What do you care?" Scott snapped. I shrugged and got out of his way as he headed for the door. "I'll come back for the rest of my stuff sometime when you aren't home," he told me. I nodded in understanding, quickly wiping away a tear that rolled down my cheek before he could see it. Geraldine and Tim re-entered the room then. "We're leaving now," Scott told his parents.

"Where are we going?" Geraldine asked in confusion.

"Home. I'll be staying with you guys for a while," Scott replied.

"Oh, what about…" she gestured to me.

"You won't be seeing Courtney again," Scott informed her. Geraldine went very pale then and looked at me apprehensively. Tim cleared his throat and walked back out to the hallway. Scott ushered his mother out into the hallway and gave me one last glance before shutting the door behind him. I collapsed to the floor in tears then, sobbing uncontrollably. I wasn't even crying because I'd lost Scott. I was sorry that I'd hurt him and he had said some hurtful things, but Duncan had said much worse. But I'd been lying to him for so long, it was just such a release to finally get it all out in the open, and the tears were tears of relief. Well, maybe there was a bit of sadness in there, after all, I had just ended a four year relationship.

Once I cried my eyes dry, I collected myself and somehow managed to carry on with my day. I had nothing planned for the rest of the day, so I busied myself with removing all of Scott's things from my closets and drawers and putting it in garbage bags. I threw out all the food that he ate that I never did, as well as all of his bathroom things like shampoo and shaving cream. He could buy new stuff. After all his stuff was cleared out, I decided to clean the entire apartment. I didn't want the time to sit and think, because I knew that if I did, I would think of Duncan, and I really didn't want that. I was done with him.

Unfortunately, though cleaning was time consuming and sometimes hard work, it didn't exactly take a lot of brain power and my mind ended up straying to Duncan anyway. It seemed laughable that I'd broken up with Scott after I'd already ended things with Duncan. And there was no doubt things with Duncan really were ended. Even if I could bring myself to forgive him, and admit that maybe it was at least partly my fault, there was no way he would forgive me. I winced when I thought of the hard slap I'd given him. Although I still maintained he deserved it, even if half of the things he'd said had been true. But damn it if the truth didn't hurt.

When I had scrubbed, dusted and vacuumed every last inch of the house, I showered and crawled into bed, though it was only eight o'clock. I wondered what Duncan was doing at that moment. Was he thinking about me? Did he regret the things he's said, like I did? Or had he already forgotten I'd even been there? The more I thought about it, the more stupid the whole fight seemed. I'd cursed him for being with Gwen once upon a time, and now I was angry because he wasn't with her?

So, he lied about it. What if he had a good reason? I could've heard him out. I still could hear him out. Maybe it wasn't too late. It couldn't hurt to just talk to him. Let him explain himself… maybe I'd apologise… maybe he'd apologise. Maybe we could just… take it slow and see where things go. I didn't need a confession of eternal love of anything like that, but as the night wore on, the more I knew I really did want to be with Duncan. So I decided I would go and see him on my way to work tomorrow.

When the morning came, I surprisingly still thought my idea to go and see Duncan was a good one, even though I still had some reservations about the whole thing. But I was only going to talk to him. Nothing necessarily had to come of it… but I just had to know if he felt the same as I did. If he didn't, well that would be the end of it and I could move on, and if he did… well I would cross that bridge when and if I came to it.

I left home early and made my way to Duncan's, feeling increasingly anxious as I got closer. I stood on the steps out the front of his apartment building, trying to work up the nerve to press the button. Just do it Courtney, get it over with, I told myself. I took a deep breath and held my finger up to the buzzer, hovering over it for a moment before dropping my hand back to my side. What if he refused to see me? I wasn't good at handling rejection. I was about to turn and leave when a woman came out the front door.

"Did you want to go in, dear?" she asked me, holding the door open. I nodded and quickly darted inside.

"Thanks," I called as she smiled and walked away. Meanwhile, I got in the lift and pressed the number for Duncan's floor. The doors opened and I walked down the hall to his door, my heart beating rapidly, both nervous and eager to see him. I hesitated a moment when I got to the door, delaying my knock for just a moment so I could collect my thoughts and gather my strength for whatever might happen next. I don't think I'd ever taken such a big chance before, and I prayed I wouldn't regret it.

I finally knocked on the door, thinking I was ready for anything, but I was in no way prepared for the person who faced me when the door opened.

"Gwen," I said dumbly, feeling like all the air had been knocked out of me. I stood there staring at her, not knowing what to say.

"Courtney?" Gwen questioned. She was wearing what could only have been one of Duncan's shirts, and from the early hour, and her look of having just woken up, it was clear she'd spent the night. My immediate reaction had been dismay and despair, but it didn't take long for those pathetic feelings to be replaced with spite and anger.

"Nice to see you and I are still interchangeable to Duncan," I spat, before turning on my heel and marching back down the hallway. I heard Gwen sigh before she called after me.

"Courtney, wait!" she called. I kept walking. I had to make it to the elevator before I burst into tears. I heard Gwen's footsteps behind me as she ran to catch up with me. She grabbed my arm and snatched it away as I turned to face her.

"What?" I snapped.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I didn't sleep with Duncan," Gwen told me.

"Oh right, you expect me to believe that? You're wearing his shirt for fuck's sake!" I cried. I knew because putting on his shirt is exactly what I would have done the morning after Duncan and I slept together, had I not been in such a hurry to leave.

"You don't have any right to be mad about this," Gwen informed me rationally.

"Don't you think I know that?" I said, my voice wavering, though I tried to keep it steady. "That's what makes it ten times worse."

Gwen gaped at me and I quickly spun back towards the elevator as the doors opened and my tears refused to be held back any longer. I was such an idiot to come here. What was I thinking? Of course Duncan didn't love me, he'd made that perfectly clear seven years ago. Why was I constantly thinking that I could change him? One thing was certain; I would not be making that mistake again.

Oh my god you guys! Sorry it took me so long to update, I know you probably all thought I was dead haha

I honestly have no idea how much longer this fic will be, could be anywhere between 2 and 5 chapters, so I guess we will find out together!

Also I've created a playlist/soundtrack for this fic if you'd like to check it out: /arysa13/time-heals-all-wounds

Hope you liked this chapter, please review! xx