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Chapter 13 No forgiving or forgetting this time.

"Look the other way while I take this out okay." Teresa, River's mom told me. I took a deep breath and winced when I felt her take the needle out of my arm.

It was the next day and I was getting released.

"There you go sweetie." She smiled at me and put gauze and tape where the needle used to be.

"Thanks." I said quietly.

"Here's your clothes, just get dressed and your brother is in the hall to take you home." She smiled at me again, kissed my forehead and left.

I quickly got dressed trying to avoid moving my wrist so much. Now that I was off the morphine, my wrist hurt like a bitch.

"I'm ready." I mumbled as I met Jared in the hall.

"Let's go then." He lead me to the parking lot and held the truck door open for me.

The ride back was silent and I stared out the window the whole time as we drove to La push. Jared looked like he was going to say something a bunch of times, but never did. Soon we pulled into Sam's drive way. I sighed before getting out and followed Jared through the door.

I kept my head down, but noticed everyone was here. Meaning, Embry, Jacob, Quil, Paul, Brady, Collin, Leah, Seth and of course Sam and Emily. Well damn, they might as well have invited the whole freaking town to witness my down fall. I tried to side step Jared to make it to my room, but he grabbed the back of my shirt to stop and led me to the kitchen where everyone was. I stayed behind him though.

"I'm glad your home Jessie, how are you feeling?" Emily asked.

"Like I just tried to kill myself and failed." Shit! That was not my fault! I tend to not think and use sarcasm when I'm in a bad situation. Brady, Collin and Seth slapped their hands against their face and shook their heads. Paul rolled his eyes and Jared glared at me. Leah knew how I was so she had a smirk on her face, while the others looked shocked and unsure about what to say.

I cringed and shrugged sheepishly. "Sorry."

Emily clear her throat. "Are you hungry?"

"Um.." Jared gave me a warning look so I wouldn't say anything sarcastic, making me sigh. "No, just tired. I'm just gonna go lay down."

I smiled small and went to my 'room'. I looked at the bed noticing there was a new set of pillows a new comforter and different sheets. Huh! I wonder who did this? I shrugged to myself and laid down, thankful that everything smelled new. A few minutes later a knock came at the door.

"Hey." Seth said, sticking his head through the door.

"Hey, you can come in." He did and leaned against the door after closing it.

"Leah got those, I don't know why, but she did." He said.

I smiled, of course it was her. "I'll be sure to tell her thanks." I said, sitting up.

He just nodded and looked out towards the window.

"So um, you're looking better. At least there's no leaves in your hair now." I joked to try and ease the tension.

"Uh yeah." He chuckled, running his hand through his hair.

"You can sit down." I offered, pulling my knees close to my chest.

"I'm good."

"Okay then. Sooo, what's everyone thinking about me?" I asked, curious yet unsure if I wanted to know.

"They feel sorry for you." He said quietly

"Well, you can tell them I don't want or need their pity or the sorry looks. And I don't want them treating me like I'm going to break." I fumed picking at a hole in my jeans.

"They heard." He smiled slightly. "Understand though that, that might happen. I don't think they know how to act around you now."

"Meaning, you don't know how to act around me now." I translated.

He sighed and slunk against the wall. "I do, but I- I don't know."

"You don't forgive me for almost killing myself." I stated, knowing that he didn't.

His face looked like he was going to deny it, but his eyes told the truth. He was hurt and that made him mad at me in turn making him not forgiving me. "Maybe, but you don't forgive me for leaving you. You may be alright with what I am, but I still broke my promise and you're pissed."

I rolled my eyes and looked away. He was right though, for some reason, I still couldn't get over him breaking his promise even if it wasn't his fault. I know I somewhat forgave Jared and Paul, but they were my brothers and right now, I needed them. Plus I went months without talking to them, so I really didn't want to continue ignoring them. I knew I was being stupid because it wasn't Seth's fault, but I just couldn't get over the fact that he broke his promise.

"We can't get back to how it was before if we don't forgive each other and I don't see that happening any time soon." He said, sounding to be in pain.

"So that's it then? I make a mistake and you break a promise and we can't work anything out?" I asked incredulously

"You tell me! Can you honestly tell me that you can forgive me for breaking my promise to you right now!" He practically yelled

"No, I can't because it hurt so damn much! You promised you wouldn't be like them, but you were. I know why and that it wasn't your fault, but it still hurt." I yelled back, my voice cracking.

"See? And I'm sorry, but I can't look at you without seeing your body covered in blood, unconscious. That hurt me." Now his voice was cracking.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I need time. We'll still see each other, but I can't go back to how it was that easily." Then he was gone.

I didn't blame him. I knew what I did was not going to sit well with everyone, but I hoped they all could look past it and treat me like they always did. Unfortunately, that's not gonna happen. Spending the rest of the day with my brothers yesterday and this morning with Jared, I found out Paul was still pissed at me for being selfish, Jared is hovering, but awkward, Brady doesn't even know what to say to me and Collin can't look me in the eyes. The others are just completely uncomfortable when I'm around and now I know how Seth feels. I know what I did was a mistake and not the answer to my problems, but at the time I thought it was. I would take it back if I knew people would treat me differently.

I wanted them to start talking again, I swear! But, Seth wouldn't let me write it that way, sorry! Then again, this story wasn't supposed to have them get into a relationship that easily, so it worked out. They'll get together eventually, promise!

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