No preamble. Just enjoy!
EOEOEOEO
Olivia was trying to stay busy with some paperwork she'd brought home with her, but she couldn't stop checking the time. Every time she glanced at her watch, only ten or fifteen minutes had passed. The last time she checked, it was almost 8, and she was really surprised she hadn't heard from Elliot. He had to have made it to Queens no later than 6, and she couldn't imagine that his discussion with Kathy had gone this long. She let out a sigh and headed towards the kitchen to pour herself another glass of wine. This was her third, but who was counting. She couldn't deny she was a nervous wreck. As much as she'd told herself not to get her hopes up…that Elliot might still decide to go back home if his Catholic guilt got the best of him… she was dying to see him walk through that door and tell her it was over for he and Kathy.
She leaned against the counter and took a sip of wine, trying to keep herself from texting him or calling him. She knew it was a bad idea. What if he was still at Kathy's? No…there was no way she could text him. She rubbed her hand on the back of her neck, trying to relieve the tension. Maybe she'd take a nice, long hot bath and try to relax.
EOEOEOEO
Elliot sat down on a stool at the bar. He'd been to this bar several times since he'd moved into his apartment. He'd even been here a few times with Olivia. The bartender recognized him right away.
"Hey Elliot. Ready for a beer?"
"Yeah Joe. It's been a long day." Elliot rested his forearms on the bar and leaned forward, feeling the stress of the day catch up with him.
"Where's that beautiful partner of yours?" he asked. "She makes all the guys here stay for just a little longer, and my sales go up." He winked at Elliot, but Elliot just ignored him. Joe raised an eyebrow but kept silent, pouring Elliot's beer. He set it in front of him and walked off to help someone else, leaving Elliot to brood in silence.
Elliot thought back to his discussion with Kathy. He was still confused about what had happened. Kathy was the one that had asked him to leave; told him to move out until he could figure out his priorities. She had told him that they had changed…both of them. She had told him she wasn't sure if she could go on with the way things were. That she needed more than to be a housewife and a mother, waiting for him to come home. He had been against it at first. It had been a big adjustment. He thought his family defined him and he felt like a complete failure. And yet, as time passed, he realized life did go on. He and Kathy had been amicable the entire time they were separated. He'd made time for the kids, going to dinners at the house and having them to his apartment. It had seemed like everyone was adjusting to the new reality.
So when had it changed? When did Kathy decide that they were going to get back together? When he spoke to Kathy this morning, she'd sounded so hopeful. Had he led her to believe that he was going to come home? Was there something he'd done or said that made her believe they could make a life together again? He had been so surprised when they were talking in the kitchen and she had asked if he was ready to come home yet. Looking back, he realizes that when she had asked him to leave and figure out his priorities, that maybe she had always expected that he'd come back. That he would decide his wife and his kids were his priorities. That he would leave SVU…find something else that would allow him to be home more. Leave Olivia.
Instead, he told her that he had chosen Olivia.
He knocked back the rest of his beer and signaled for another one. He put his elbows on the bar and buried his face in his hands. What the hell was he doing? How could he hurt her like that?
Joe slid another beer in front of Elliot. "Looks like you got something on your mind."
"Nah." Said Elliot, taking a long drink and emptying half the bottle.
"None of my business, but does this have anything to do with a certain long-legged, dark-eyed beauty I know?"
Elliot looked up at him, his eyes narrowing. What the hell did this guy know? He was just a bartender, and he and Olivia had been in here together only a few times.
Joe put his hands up, knowing Elliot's temper. "Like I said, none of my business." He pulled another beer out of the cooler and handed it to Elliot, seeing his was almost gone. "But I've seen you two together. Seems like…" Elliot's eyes narrowed again and Joe decided not to finish his sentence. "I'll just leave you to it." He said as he walked to the other side of the bar.
Olivia. I'm in love with Olivia.
He had always known there was something between them…he had always wondered if there could be more. He had always thought there could be, but he never believed Olivia would admit her feelings to him. And the fact that she had told him first…it surprised the hell out of him. That she would take that risk…potentially losing their partnership…their friendship. Without knowing how he would respond. Without knowing if he felt the same way. She wouldn't take those things lightly. She would have thought through all of it very carefully, weighing all of the pros and cons…always analyzing the potential repercussions. The fact that she had believed it was worth the risk spoke volumes. She believed in them.
He wanted her…in every way. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to spoil her. He wanted to be there for her at the end of every long day…every tough case. He wanted to wake up in the morning and have her curled up next to him. He wanted to sit across from her at breakfast and see her with her hair messed and no make-up on. He wanted to see her eyes dark with lust, and he wanted to hear her moan his name as he made her come.
Christ. He could picture her as she lay beneath him last night on her couch. He could feel her respond to him…he could feel how their bodies fit together perfectly.
He took another long drink of his beer, almost draining the bottle. He couldn't get those images out of his head. He closed his eyes…he could picture her…her smile that lit up her face…her dark eyes watching him...those long legs as she strode next to him, always in sync with him. Their rhythm perfectly matched.
He emptied his beer and slammed the bottle down on the bar. He waved Joe over. "I need another one."
"Don't you think maybe you should head home?" Joe asked. Elliot had slammed those three beers pretty quickly, and while he was a big guy, Joe could tell her was not in a good frame of mind.
"Just give me another one."
Joe shook his head and opened another beer, sliding it across the open space on the bar. "OK, but you're not driving home."
"I walked. I just live down the block." Elliot put the beer to his lips and took a drink. He sighed heavily. He wanted to be with Olivia, but the guilt over hurting Kathy and his family was driving him to question whether or not he could leave them. He decided he might just need a few more of these tonight to end these torturous thoughts.
EOEOEOEO
Olivia soaked in the tub, closing her eyes as she listened to some soft music and smelling the scent of the candles she had lit. She took another sip of wine and thought about Elliot. She knew it had to be almost 9 by now, and she was trying to squelch the feeling of panic as time went on without hearing from him. She knew she had taken a big risk by telling him how she felt, but she felt she'd had to. She couldn't pretend any more. She didn't want to go through any more relationships…pretending to feel something when in fact, no one could take Elliot's place.
She wasn't surprised when he told her he loved her…she had thought he felt the same way. But she had been surprised at how quickly he'd agreed to ask Kathy for a divorce. She thought it was the right decision to refuse to go farther until he had filed…but now she was worried that he wasn't going to go ahead with it. And she wanted to make love to Elliot…at least just once. She knew it would be amazing. The way she felt when he had kissed her was indescribable and she knew their lovemaking would be like nothing she'd ever experienced before. Despite that…she knew it was smart to wait until everything was resolved.
She didn't know how she was going to react at the precinct tomorrow if she didn't hear from him tonight. There would be too many unanswered questions hanging between them, and even though they had agreed to keep their personal life out of the squad room, it would be difficult to work together. She took another sip of wine and closed her eyes again, trying to take her mind off Elliot.
She lounged for a few minutes longer, lathering her body and rinsing off. She finished her glass of wine and set her glass on the floor before she stood and grabbed a towel. As she was drying off, she snagged her phone off the bathroom counter just to make sure she hadn't received a call or a text. She pursed her lips together when she saw that she didn't have any new messages.
She was wrapping a white knit robe around her when she heard knocking at her door. She paused briefly, her heart in her chest…it could only be Elliot. She dropped the towel in her hand as she rushed to the door. She looked through the peephole and saw him standing there, his arms braced against the doorframe and his head down slightly. She unlocked the door and swung it open.
"Elliot."
He looked up and his breath hitched slightly when he saw her standing there. She'd obviously just gotten out of the shower…her hair was damp and her cheeks were flushed. He couldn't stop his eyes from taking her in…his eyes roaming her body. The short, cotton robe hugged her curves, and ended high on her thighs, leaving her long, tan legs exposed. His mouth went dry as he realized she was naked beneath and he felt his body already reacting to her. His eyes moved up to hers and he saw her watching him.
"Liv." He said, his voice a hoarse whisper. "Can I come in?"
Olivia hesitated. She was so relieved to see him, but she could tell he had been drinking. And she wasn't sure what to read into that…she assumed that meant tonight had been rough. She didn't know what that meant.
She swallowed hard. She was a little afraid to let him in. She didn't know where his mind was, or hers.
"Liv." He reached for her then, and stumbled slightly when he misjudged the distance. Olivia grabbed his arm and steadied him. He walked in and she pushed the door closed. When she turned back towards him, he reached for her again. He placed his hands on her shoulders and then slid them up to her cheeks.
"Liv." He cupped her face and leaned in to kiss her. His lips brushed gently against hers and Olivia closed her eyes.
"I didn't think you were coming back." Olivia whispered.
Elliot kissed her a little more deeply, threading one of his hands through her hair. He trailed his mouth down to her ear and rasped out. "I'm here."
Her back connected with the wall and Elliot moved back to her mouth, tilting her head and opening her mouth with his. He moaned as his tongue met Olivia's and she could taste the beer he'd obviously had tonight.
His hands ran over her shoulders and down her arms until the landed at her waist. He squeezed her lightly and then ran one hand along the tie of her robe until he reached the knot. He put his hand and tugged on it lightly, and Olivia placed her hand over his.
"Elliot" she rasped. It would be so easy to give in to what they both wanted, but this isn't how she wanted this to happen. Elliot was clearly drunk, and she didn't have any idea what had happened with Kathy.
Elliot dropped his mouth to her neck, and he placed small, open mouth kisses against her skin. "You taste wonderful." He mumbled against her skin and she closed her eyes. He was kissing and sucking and driving her mad…she could feel her body responding to his mouth and his touch. God, she wanted that mouth all over her body. She moaned and Elliot started to trail his tongue down towards her breasts, once against tugging at the knot of her robe.
"Elliot" She pushed against his head with her free hand. "Stop."
Elliot's mouth hummed against her skin and he didn't relent. He dropped his hand from the knot on her robe and trailed his hands down her hips until he reached the skin of her thighs. He let his fingers dance along the skin there before he spread his hands flat on her thighs, and slid them up, taking the robe with them.
Olivia moaned again, letting her head fall back against the wall and closing her eyes again. Elliot's hands were on her bare hips now and he started massaging the smooth skin there. His mouth moved back to hers and he pulled her hips towards him, pressing his arousal against her. The ache between her legs was undeniable and she knew it would be so easy to let Elliot take her. She wanted him to…but she needed to know what the future held for them. And Elliot was in no shape to have that discussion.
"El." She pushed at his shoulders. "Stop." Elliot either didn't hear her, or was ignoring her. She pushed against him harder and he stumbled backwards, losing all contact with her. He knocked into a small table, knocking some things to the floor and it was then that Olivia realized how really drunk he was.
He fell back against the wall opposite her and looked over at her as she stood staring at him. Her face and chest were flushed and she was breathing heavily. He tried to straighten up, steadying himself with his hands.
"Olivia." He rasped out. "I…God, I want you so much."
"Elliot. You're drunk." Olivia pulled her robe tighter around her, feeling exposed as she stood there.
"I'm not that drunk Liv." He smirked. "It's not going to be a problem."
Olivia shook her head. That ego. "That's not what I'm worried about." She pushed up off the wall and took one step towards him. "Is this how you really want this to happen?" she asked. She didn't know if she really expected him to answer, but the answer should have been unequivocally no.
Elliot stood in place, blinking a few times. He swallowed hard. She was so goddamned sexy standing there in that robe, and he could see how aroused she was. And he was hard as hell…was that a trick question?
Olivia was starting to get pissed off. He was clearly too drunk to think clearly. She took another step towards him. "You asshole." She pushed his shoulder and he fell back against the wall again. "I've been waiting to hear from you all night. Wondering if we have a future together. And you go to a bar and get drunk? And then you show up here, expecting me just to fall into bed with you?"
She stood staring at him and Elliot's mind was reeling from the change from just a few minutes ago. He'd been kissing her and he could tell she wanted him…but now she was yelling at him. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts but all of his blood was pooled elsewhere and he couldn't think clearly.
"Elliot." Olivia said again. "Do you even understand what I'm saying?"
"Yeah." Eliot finally answered, even though the only thing he could focus on was her mouth…God he wanted to kiss her again.
Olivia shook her head. "I can't talk to you like this. You need to sleep this off." She was so frustrated, and so angry with him. She needed to know what was going on and he was in no shape to tell her. Between all of the unanswered questions…and her own aroused state…she knew she wasn't going to get any sleep tonight.
Elliot pushed himself off the wall and reached for her. "I'm sorry Liv. Don't be mad at me."
Olivia shrugged his hands from her shoulders. "You can sleep on the couch Elliot." She said. "Do you think you can manage that?" she asked. She turned her back to him and walked over to her closet. She pulled out a pillow and blanket and walked over to the couch. She looked over at him standing there and she knew he wasn't fully aware of what was going on. She shook her head, upset at how this night had turned out.
"Good night Elliot." She said. She went into her room and shut the door. She pulled on her pajama shorts and a tank top and crawled into bed. She heard him stumble into the coffee table and swear lightly. She heard his shoes drop on the floor and heard some other rustling around before it got quiet. And then she knew he had most likely passed out on the couch. She lay awake for another 20 minutes before she went out to check on him. She wasn't surprised to see that he was lying on the couch fully clothed, without the pillow or blanket she had left for him. She shook her head again and pulled the blanket over him. She was upset with him, but she didn't really know what had happened tonight that had sent him to the bar. She sighed and ran her hand through her hair. She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek, and he didn't even stir.
"I love you El." She whispered quietly before going back to bed.
Thanks for reading! Please leave a review. I'll love you forever!