Chapter 13

Love's Fury—Ludicrous Speed

Warning! There be Spaceballs references. (A bit of a funny disclaimer. :) )

I do not own Spaceballs or Invader Zim. But I wish. :)

This chapter is dedicated to the loving memory of our oldest horse, who had passed away this afternoon. :( R.I.P Snickers.

Samantha's POV

Time slowed for those next few seconds. Zim's ruby eyes widened, and he clutched as his stomach. A purple fluid seeped through his fingers, running swiftly down his abdomen. He fell from my arms, body curling over the wound. He hit the floor hard, but I didn't hear the impact. There was a roaring in my ears, a waterfall of noise screaming in my head. I stared blankly at Zim, at the growing pool of violet fluid around him, and at his shocked expression. My mind shut down. My world shut down.

As I quivered in shock, Zim looked up toward Tak, who had some sort of a blaster in her hand. She was smiling the most evil of all smiles: A grin that only could belong to the clinically insane.

"How amusing. To see the 'Almighty' Zim die for something as wretched as a Carzis mate," she sneered.

A torrent of emotions had flooded my scrambled mind. Despair, horror… and rage…

"This will be very pleasurable…for me." Tak snickered.

I clung to my fury, that molten anger rushing through my veins…

She smirked as she pointed her blaster at the injured Zim.

"Say, 'goodbye', Zim!"

But before she could pull the trigger, something collided at her face, causing a force that sending her flying to the other side of the room, her blaster falling out of her hand. That object…was my fist.

My heart was pounding, sheer, untamed bloodlust controlling my every move. I was not going to let that despicable, conniving, pompous Irken broad kill the guy I loved! I didn't even notice that I had finally acknowledged that.

Rubbing her lower jaw in shock, Tak got back on her feet. She brought her hand to her lower lip, blood staining her fingertips. She stared at them, absolutely stunned. Her eyes slid back up to look at me. Psychopathic ire burned in her eyes, which had narrowed to slits.

"How dare you! Do you realize who you have struck!"

My rage blocked all other emotions, so all I was thinking of was tearing Tak's antennae off and turning her into a shrunken head. I cracked my knuckles ominously.

"If you so much as lay a single finger on him, I will personally send you to Hell. FIRST CLASS!" I snarled.

Tak bared her dagger-like teeth.

"Well. I was going to use you as a…personal slave. But now I think that you have outlived her usefulness."

She then opened the clenched fists at her sides, displaying her clawed hands.

"It's time for you to die!"

I closed my fist so tight that blood began to drip from where my nails bit into my palms.

"Oh! Someone's going to die, but it's not gonna be me or Zim."

With that said, our internal boxing bells rung and we lunged at each other.

Tak charged toward me, looking for the entire world like a jaguar as she leapt at my face, claws extended. I ducked at the last second, one of her sharp finger grazing my temple. I whirled and jumped on Tak, aiming to scratch her eyes out. I wanted to see those malicious purple orbs torn out of her skull.

Tak caught my wrists with her own hands and tried to push me off. Her nails bit into the skin of my wrists. I screeched at her, the sound feral and unrecognizable to my ears. At last I managed a satisfying swipe at her emerald skin, opening up three parallel slashes on her right cheek. Tak swung at my face, connecting with my jaw. I reeled back, and she scrambled out from underneath me. I stumbled up just in time to receive a harsh kick to my stomach.

The force of it sent me flying, my back hitting the wall with a muted thump. I gasped for air, my lungs utterly empty. She had knocked the wind right out of me. I took raspy breaths and glared daggers at Tak.

I spit on the floor, saliva tinged red. I had bit the inside of my cheek and blood was flooding my mouth. I grinned rather crazily at Tak, teeth stained crimson. To my great pleasure, she grimaced. Pushing off the wall I launched myself at her, moving with speed I didn't know I had. I let my right fist fly, landing a punishing blow to the side of Tak's head. She responded with a sharp uppercut that knocked my head back with a snap.

After she knocked me back, I was readying myself for another Dash-punch when I felt the base shake, making me lose my footing.

"Wha-what the! What the hell was that!"

Third POV

The base-shaking blast came from the lead ship on the Fan Fiction Fleet. (F.F.F) Inside, Dream Dragoness was pissed.

"You idiot! I said graze the base! Not turn it into Swiss cheese!"

The shooter responsible turned to Dreamer and lifted her visor, revealing crossed-eyes.

"Sorry, ma'am."

Dreamer's eyes widen asked aloud, "Who made her a gunner?"

"I did, D.D."

Dreamer turned to see that the one responsible was her second co-pilot, Captor of the Crazies. (Also known as C.C.)

"She's my cousin."

"Your cousin?" Dreamer asked in shock.

"Yep. She's a Bitch, D.D." C.C. told her proudly.

"I know that!" Dreamer replied.

But C.C. shook her head.

"No, that's her name. Sheesa Bitch. She came on with her sister, Major Bitch."

Stunned at the names, Dreamer asked aloud.

"How many Bitches we got in this fleet?"

Immediately, the entire fleet, whether on communications or on the ship and both male and female, stood at attention.

"Yo!"

Seeing this, the stupefied Dreamer turned to the only non-Bitch in the entire fleet: FeatherPen18.

"I knew it. I'm surrounded by Bitches."

She then returned to the screen, sliding on her sunglasses to protect her eyes from the light show.

"Keep firing, Bitches!"

Meanwhile in the inner tunnels of Tak's base…

Dib was running furiously, trying to find the control room. It all seemed futile. The base was like a maze, and he was the rat.

"This is useless! I'm never gonna find the damn thing!" Dib yelled in frustration, pounding his fists on the wall.

Then he noticed what he was pounding on: a steel door with the words, "CONTROL ROOM" written on in it large letters.

"Oh."

Dib pushed the large door open, revealing a room filled with monitors, keyboards, and wires. Rows and rows of complex-looking machines created hallways, blocking Dib's view of what lay beyond. He started down the one of the aisles…

And was barely able to stop himself before he ran into a very scary SIR unit.

MiMi! Dib thought, dread coursing through him.

They hadn't accounted for the robot. But of course Tak wouldn't leave such an important room unattended… MiMi was tapping away at keyboards furiously, operating the weapons built into the base. She seemed to have her hands full, fighting off the onslaught of attacks.

Dib backtracked silently down the aisle and hid. What was he going to do? MiMi was custom designed by Tak- the wicked-looking claw of an arm said that much. And he already knew what kind of weaponry a regular SIR was equipped with (well, he knew what Gir was equipped with at least), and no doubt Tak had added some other creative things whilst assembling her minion.

"Intruder!"

Dib froze in his tracks and turned around. Amber met red.

Oh, shit.

Out in Space…

"WHEEEEEEEEEE!"

Gir was spinning in the zero gravity of space, bright blue eyes wild. He hadn't found anything in Earth's atmosphere… so he went into space! Gir loved space.

"C'mon, Pig!"

Gir dragged along the rubber piggy with him, doing multiple flips in succession. Suddenly, something large sped by him. Gir screamed in surprise, clutching his piggy close to his metal chest. He watched as a trio of irken ships flew on course to the moon.

It seemed as if they didn't notice Gir. Unbeknownst to the dysfunctional SIR unit, the pilots had been preoccupied with an argument about a certain Melonhead.

Curious, Gir followed the trio, jets replacing his feet. He was glad he didn't empty out his fuel in favor of tuna. He stowed Pig away in his empty head, just to be safe.

Within seconds, Gir was in the middle of the fray. An entire fleet of ships had appeared, and, along with the enemy ships fighting them, it was madness. It was Gir's element. He sped around, latching onto the glass of random cockpits, crashing into ships, and screaming his little lungs out.

"I LIKE DESTROYING!" Gir squealed joyfully, blasting a ball of plasma at an evil looking ship.

In the midst of his rampage, Gir finally looked at the face of the moon. A large building, clearly irken, sat on the chalky surface. Gir scratched his head, trying to remember if there was anything important about the building. What was he doing again?

"Oh, yeaaah… I FOUND IT! Master will be so happy!"

Gleefully, Gir made for Tak's base, aiming for the hanger. Two of those ships he had seen earlier were already docked there. Gir realized he should probably call Zim. He hit a button on his arm, contacting him. But Zim didn't pick up. Gir shrugged and walked into the base. He supposed he should look for the pretty lady. He liked the lady. Maybe later she'll make him some toquitos.

"Mmmmm… Toquitos!" Gir rounded some bends, coming to a stop by an open door.

"Control Room." Gir read the words on the door aloud.

Without a second thought- wait, no... Without a thought in the first place, Gir entered the room.

"Intruders are to be eliminated."

MiMi swiped at Dib with its clawed hand, Dib barely able to scramble out of range. He looked about the room for a possible weapon, coming up with nothing. He could only dodge and run from the deadly robot. He was doing fairly well… Until his back hit the wall. He had been cornered. MiMi advanced slowly, claw opening and closing with a sharp series of clicks. Dib braced himself for the end.

"HI!"

Dib's eyes snapped open. Only one thing in the world possessed that voice. MiMi froze as well, turning around. Gir stood directly behind her, munching on a cupcake.

"You," MiMi hissed, anger seeping into her automated voice.

Gir just grinned.

"Me!" he replied happily.

With a scream of rage, MiMi threw herself at Gir. Gir himself screamed in response, before MiMi tackled him. The angry SIR unit pounded Gir with uninhibited violence. Gir was… laughing? He jetted up from underneath MiMi in seconds, his expression of mirth unchanged.

"Hey, I remember you!" He pointed enthusiastically at MiMi.

MiMi twitched. Then, fast as a whip, she swung her claw at Gir's head. It connected with a heavy impact, knocking something out of Gir's head. Something pink and round.

"PIG!" Gir immediately ran to his rubber piggy.

But MiMi was faster. She picked up the toy and squeezed. The pig's head swelled and, with a pop, its eyes were forced out. The twin orbs fell to the floor, bouncing. One rolled to Gir's feet. The little robot picked up the rubber eye, fist clenching around the ball. Gir's head was hung, and Dib could hear sniffling. MiMi grinned malevolently. Gir was shaking.

Suddenly, he looked up. His eyes were glowing crimson, an uncharacteristic scowl marring his features.

"I loveded that pig," Gir growled.

A shrill war cry rang out through the air, as Gir launched himself at the other robot. He pinned MiMi to the floor, his hands becoming circular saw blades. MiMi countered the demented robot by gut-kicking him. But that didn't stop Gir from attacking MiMi in a vengeance-driven frenzy.

Dib took his chance, scrambling to his feet. He made a beeline to the main control table.

"AH! What is this? God, how do I do this?"

There were thousands of buttons and switches, the only labeling written in irken.

"THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! How the Hell-"

Dib looked down. On the floor there was a large plug hooking into the wall. All the wires converged into one and connected to a main power line… Dib smacked his forehead.

"Of course! Duh."

He pulled on the plug, tearing it from the wall with great effort. There was a dying chime as the entire system shut down.

"I did it! We did it!" Dib looked back to Gir.

The robot was cradling his rubber pig, super-gluing the eyes back in. MiMi (who had, by this point, morphed to her more agile cat form in order to dodge Gir's attacks) received an emergency contact from her mistress and darted out of the control room, merging seamlessly with the shadows. Gir stroked his pig lovingly.

"You're all better pig!"

Dib didn't know whether to be relieved or disturbed. One thing he did know was that he was never getting in between Gir and his piggy.

Samantha's POV

Knocked to the floor by the violent shaking of the base, Tak and I were grappling on the floor. I was pulling viciously at her antennae, and she at my hair. In the midst of the fight, Tak found an opening and jabbed me in the gut. My breath left me again, and Tak took the opportunity to pin me to the floor. Before I could force her off, she was holding a knife to my throat. Scratched and bruised, Tak was gritting her teeth, each breath released as a hiss; she was livid.

"You…you…you are more trouble than you are worth!" She screeched as she readied her blade. "Prepare to die!"

I quickly grabbed at her hands before she could slice my throat. I pushed back, keeping the shining blade at bay. I was holding her off pretty well, but the fight had weakened me greatly. Somehow, the Irken bitch still maintained the strength she had at the beginning of the fight. She pushed against my grip, lowering the knife closer and closer to my throat.

Come on, Sam! Come on! You can't let her win!

It was at that moment that I felt the weight lifted off my body. Opening my eyes, I saw that Tak was no longer on me. Instead, she was a couple of feet away from me, clutching her right arm. Dark blood was dripping from her clutched hand.

"What the hell!" she growled in both pain and anger.

I looked to my left to see Zim; he was sprawled out on the floor, bloodied hand clutching Tak's fallen blaster. Even in his current state, his grip was solid and unwavering, firmly trained on Tak's head. With a smirk on his face, Zim spoke.

"I said it before and I'll say it again: You touch my bride, you die."

"Zim." I managed to speak.

"Say, 'good bye', Tak," Zim whispered, throwing her own words back at her.

He squeezed the trigger. But the blast missed its target as another violent tremor shook the base, knocking Zim's aim off. Holding her wound, Tak headed to the nearby escape pods.

"You think you have won? You have not seen the last of me!"

She then quickly entered some sort of coordinates as the pod door closed, blasting off into space.

I wanted to go after her, but my thoughts quickly trailed to Zim. I scrambled back on my hands and knees towards Zim. He had collapsed once more, hand dropping with exhaustion. The gun in his hand fell to the floor with a metallic click.

"Zim! Don't you dare die on me!"

My rage had fled my body, letting desperation and worry take over. Zim lifted a shaky hand and clasped it in mine.

"I'm okay, really," he murmured, a small smile on his face.

A wave of relief washed over me. Immediately, I looked at his wound. He had been hit in the side, a clear hole burned through the flesh. I inhaled sharply. Immediately, I shed my shirt, tearing the material into a long strip. It took some maneuvering, but I was able to bind his midsection tightly, prompting the blood flow to slow.

I placed Zim arm over my shoulder and began to walk him to the hanger.

"*pant*pant* Leave me here. *pant*pant* You can get away faster without me."

"I'm not leaving you." I told him.

It was like that all the way to the fork in the corridor. There, we met up with Dib, who had finished whatever he was doing on the other side of the base. His face immediately fell to concern. We must have looked bad, Zim hunched over and myself covered in scratches and a blood-covered undershirt.

"Sam! There you are."

He then took a glance at the alien in my arms.

"Zim! What happened?" he asked.

"Tell you later. Right now, we got to get out of here," Zim grunted.

Taking the hint, Dib place Zim's other arm over his shoulder and lead us to the hanger. As we got closer to the ships I saw a very familiar, blue-eyed robot. He waved. Once we reached the ships, Dib helped me place Zim into the back seat of the cockpit. Gir and I took the front. Dib assured me Gir could fly the ship, but I was still worried. Luckily, the spastic robot was capable enough to fly us out of Tak's base.

By the time we had flown out, Gaz had set the base ablaze.

Third POV

Once she saw that the battle was over, Dreamer spoke into the mic.

"Alright, Bitches! Great work."

The entire fleet cheered as they tasted victory. Turning to FeatherPen18 and C.C, Dreamer spoke.

"Alright ladies, let's get back home."

However, before the fleet could even begin to turn the ship around, a random Irken, a servant of Dreamer, was running into the control room.

"Commanderess! Commanderess!" he called.

Turning to the Irken, Dreamer spoke. "What is it?"

"I-it's Dib. He wants to know who we are and why we had come here."

Dreamer's eyes widen when she had heard this.

"What? Are you sure?"

The Irken nodded furiously.

"Oh crap!" Dreamer spoke. "We need to get out of here! Now!"

The Dib-fans groan at the order, knowing that it had to be done.

"And I was going to convince him to sleep with me." A random Dib-fan complained.

FeatherPen18, who was aware of what to do, grabbed the microphone and spoke. "Prepare ships for Light Speed."

"No, no, no! Light Speed is too slow." Dreamer called out.

"What do you mean by that?" Pen spoke, hoping that Dreamer wasn't thinking of what she was thinking.

"No. We'll have to go to…Ludicrous Speed!"

Everyone on the fleet gasped in shock and horror. Well, except for C.C, who was crazy happy that the Commanderess wanted to go to such a dangerous speed.

"Ludicrous Speed! You can't be serious!" Pen spoke out in shock. Dreamer turned to her.

"What's the matter, Pen? Chicken?"

Pen, freaked out by Dreamer's decision, gave out the order, voice squeaking.

"PREPARE SHIP…Ahem. Prepare ships for Ludicrous Speed. Fasten all seat belts. Seal all entrances and exits. Close all shops in the mall. Cancel the three-ring circus. Secure all animals in the zoo…"

Dreamer, annoyed at the scene, took the mic from Pen.

"Give me that!"

As Dreamer spoke into the mic, Pen quickly got into her chair, fastening her seatbelt and holding onto the chair tightly.

"Now here this. Ludicrous Speed—"

"Hey, Dreamer! Shouldn't you buckle up?" A random fan called.

"Ah! Buckle this." Dreamer spoke as she returned her attention to the mic.

"Ludicrous Speed…GO!"

With a jerk, the main ship picked up speed. Inside, Dreamer was screaming like a maniac as she held on to a bar for dear life as the force of the increased velocity literally lifted her off her feet. The remaining fleet, however, managed to stay in their seats thanks to their seat belts.

Over the monitors, a sign flashed, showing Light Speed. This was followed by Ridiculous Speed. And at last, in the red, flashed Ludicrous Speed.

"What have I done!" Dreamer screamed.

"My brains are going into my feet!"

"Wheeee!" C.C. called as she embraced Ludicrous Speed.

On the screen, the stripes you would see when going into Light Speed slowly changed into a red, orange, and yellow patchwork pattern in the form of a cube.

Dib, Gaz, and Sam, seeing this, gaped as the Fan Fiction Fleet shot away in the unusual patterned trail, which lead into a black hole.

"What the hell was that?" Sam asked.

"Whoever they are, good riddance." Gaz muttered.

Dib then punned. "They've gone to plaid."

Back at the fleet, Dreamer managed to speak.

"We're safe! Stop these things!"

"We can't stop! We got to slow down first." Pen told her.

"Bullshit! Just stop this thing! I order you! STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!"

Pushing with all her might, Pen grasped the emergency brake, which the label said, 'Never, Ever use.' Once Penn pulled on the lever, the ship came to a sudden stop, which in turn, sent Dreamer flying into the console, head first.

While C.C. was spinning like crazy in her chair.

"Wahoo! Let's do that again!"

"I'd rather not." Pen told her.

With the ships out of Ludicrous Speed, Pen ran over to Dreamer, who was being helped up by The Speedy Hero and xxxCARxCRASHxHEARTxxx,the random fan who wanted to sleep with Dib earlier.

"You ok, D.D.?" Pen asked in worry.

"Fine. How are you?" Dreamer asked deliriously.

"Fine here. It's a good thing you got a hard head," Pen replied.

"Ah. What now?" Dreamer inquired.

"I don't know. You're the author." Pen pointed out.

"Well. How about we take a five minute break."

"I say 'aye' to that." Pen nodded.

"Drink soda if you got it," said Dreamer as she fell to the ground, passing out.

Pen: Pen, here, everybody! I'm taking over this commentary, considering D.D. is, well, unconscious. Whoa, wait- is she drooling? Priceless! Quick, someone take a picture-

RIGHT. Commentary. Got it. So, that's the end of this chapter. The stunning climactic battle scene! Are you not satisfied? You'd better be. *cracks knuckles* I didn't bust my beta-ing butt over this for nothing!

So, you got a couple options, dear reader. Either you press that pretty little review button and write something nice... or I sick Gaz on you. She and I are tight.

Gaz: *nods intimidatingly*

Pen: I think we're about done here. *looks to Gaz* Wanna go to Bloaty's Pizza Hog?

Gaz: Well, duh.

Pen: Fantastic.

Dib: Can I come? I'm starving!

Pen and Gaz: No.

Dib: Aww, why not?

Pen: Is he always this whiny?

Gaz: You have no idea.

*Two girls walk away to grab some pizza, Dib trailing along behind them*

Random Irken: *clears throat* Hope you enjoyed the chapter everyone!