"Thirteenth Entry"

Hi.

We're back home now. It's nice to be back in my room. I missed my books and my stuffed animals. I have names for all of them. There's a black cat which Papa bought for me when I was two, at a carnival. Its name is Sooty, like Mr. Pinkwhistle's cat. I have seven bears, one for each birthday, from Uncle Sebastian. Uncle Sherlock buys me dolls from wherever he goes on a case. Daddy made sure I had a cupboard to put them all in, and then furniture and clothes. It's like a huge dolls house. Uncle Greg buys me different hats. For my last birthday, he gave me a hat like Uncle Sherlock's. It has one flap at the front and one at the back.

But my favourite toy is a dolphin. Bastian bought it for me, so its name is Bastian. He bought it when we went to the London Aquarium. It was his 10th birthday, but he bought me a toy anyway. Bastian-the-Dolphin stays in bed with me. I took him to Baker Street when we were staying there.

I don't think anything is different between Daddy and Papa. Papa doesn't talk to Daddy very much. It's like it was before, only the other way around. Daddy talks more to Papa than Papa talks to Daddy. If this is one of those grown-up things, I don't want to grow up.

I wish the last three weeks had never happened. It was all fine after Papa rescued us from Mr. Mycroft. But if Daddy hadn't wanted us to be taken away, then there wouldn't have been anything for them to argue about. And maybe things would have gotten better by themselves. And there's the baby. Aren't babies supposed to make everything better? I think that's what they say on the TV. Daddy says that's just the Alphas who think that, though. But Papa's an Alpha.

Papa took me to the shops today. I don't like going to the shops very much anymore, but he thought it was important.

"Would you like something different for your lunchbox, my angel?" he said. "Anything you want."

"Is this bribery?" I asked. Papa stopped pushing the trolley, and just looked at me.

"Where did you learn about bribery?" he said.

"Uncle Sherlock said that one of his puzzles had bribery in it. I asked him what it was, and he told me. Then Uncle Greg had to… translate it. He said 'translate it'. Because Uncle Sherlock's answer didn't make much sense."

"That sounds about right," Papa said. "Would you like cream buns, Clarissa? We could have them at home. And then maybe some biscuits so that you can take some to school, and share them with your friends. Would you like that?"

I missed Papa stroking my hair. When he did, it felt like all the bad things went away. It always feels like that, but especially when Papa does it. Daddy says it's because Papa is like our pack leader. Like with wolves. But we're not actually wolves. Otherwise I couldn't write.

So when Papa stroked my hair, I felt a bit better. We did buy cream buns, and crackers, and sweet biscuits. There was also a new Disney movie out on DVD, so Papa bought that as well. We watched it after the news. We had to have our showers first. I was left alone with Daddy when Bastian was in the bathroom and while Papa was making popcorn. He makes it using real corn.

"Clarissa baby," Daddy said. I looked at him. Bastian and I were using his open sleeping bag, so I was snuggled in his place. I wanted to keep it warm for him.

"Yes, Daddy?" I said.

"When I…" Daddy stopped. He turned his head away, then back to the TV screen. But he didn't look at me. "When Mycroft and I arranged all of… that business, it was a long time ago. Two or three years ago. That's why we do the same thing every weekend. I don't always remember that he's watching because the wait's been so long, and it was just… You have to believe that…"

"That what, Daddy?"

He didn't speak for awhile. "I never wanted to hurt you. I was trying to protect you. I had no idea how… how anyone felt. I had no idea how your papa would react. Didn't even know he would be there. Sherlock was right. Sometimes I can be so blind. I see, but I don't observe." He laughed. It wasn't really a happy laugh. It was one of those fake laughs I hate.

"You wanted to take us away from Papa," I said.

"Angel," Daddy said. He leaned forward. "When I first knew your father, he was a… a bad man. Dangerous. Don't get me wrong; I like— even love danger. But he was on the other side of the law, and he was Uncle Sherlock's archenemy. Aside from Mycroft. I'm one of Uncle Sherlock's few friends, and any enemy of his… especially someone like your father."

"But Papa loves us," I said. I was cuddling Bastian-the-Dolphin. "He'd never hurt us."

"That's the thing," Daddy said. "Clarissa, when you're older, I'll have to tell you about more… grown-up things. How babies are made. That sort of thing."

"Babies are made by an Alpha and an Omega."

"Yes, but there's a certain… you know how I'm sick every few months, and Papa takes me away?"

"Yes."

"That's the best time to be… creating babies. When an Alpha makes an Omega feel better. And it can be any Alpha, by law. So when I was… accidentally Bonded to the last Alpha in the world that I wanted, it was terrible. I was so scared for the baby I was carrying – for Bastian – that I kept trying to run. Clarissa, you will understand this all one day. Just know that… that things change. I never told Mycroft to drop the plan. I've told him now, of course. I don't want to leave you." He sighed. "I just wish I hadn't lost so much because of what happened. I didn't even know I could lose your father the way I did. Please forgive me someday."

"Nearly time to start the movie," Bastian said. He came into the living room, and I moved out of the way so that he could have his spot back. Papa brought two bowls of popcorn, and sat down again. He was on the left side of the couch, and Daddy was on the right side. Bastian and I got a bowl to share, and Daddy and Papa shared the other bowl.

The movie was one of those ones where it's a short rectangle, and there are rectangles of black on the top and the bottom. During the love song, I looked down, because I get embarrassed about the kissing. So does Bastian. But he's better at hiding it. In the dark bits, I could see Daddy and Papa reaching for the bowl at the same time, and turned my head around to see better. Their hands must have touched, because they pulled their hands out of the bowl without taking any popcorn. But then Daddy picked up some popcorn and held it out.

"Here," he said softly. Papa didn't move at first. Then he opened his hand, and Daddy gave him the popcorn. They were staring at each other.

Then Bastian poked my leg. When I scowled at him, he winked, and put his finger to his lips. Then I knew what he meant. We had to stay quiet so we wouldn't disturb Papa and Daddy. And the love song was over, so it was okay to start watching again.

That's all now. I'm glad I don't have to worry about losing my diary. Uncle Sherlock and Uncle Greg have a lot of things at Baker Street. But my diary stays in my room at home.

I don't know what made me throw that bit in, with the whole, clichéd, reach-for-the-bowl-at-the-same-time thing going on there. Ah well. Reparations must start somewhere, even though Jim's going to be wary at first. He still isn't talking to John, after all.