Rain could already feel the baby inside of her and she cried every night. The loss of her child was more than she could bare and it was torture that she knew the exact date of its death. She did not if it was a boy or a girl, but she did know it was part of Randy. A special little part of both of them.
The day of the abortion came and she stayed in bed even after the alarm clock rang. She thought about running away. She was seventeen and could legally be on her own. She had not been allowed to return to school and she doubted she would be able to return even after the baby was gone.
As it turned out, her father had always planned on removing her from school as soon as she was old enough to quit without it causing him legal problems. He constantly told her what her new responsibilities were. She would now spend every day working in the garage. Doing whatever he told her to do while he drank and kicked back until it was time to paint.
Since they made her take an at home pregnancy test and it came out positive she had been locked up in her tiny room. Sometimes they gave her a normal meal; sometimes she was slipped a slice of bread under the door along with a dish small enough to slide under the door that contained a sip or two of water. She really was a prisoner and she felt so weak.
She was forced to hold her bowels until they allowed her to relieve herself which was only three times a day. It was horrible since the frequency of which she needed to go had increased drastically. Sometimes she could not hold it and she would position herself over the small trashcan they had given her to catch her morning sickness.
She often wished she had a window in her room so she could possibly see Randy. She missed him so much. He was the only person who had really shown her any kind of love. But she knew that was over. She could tell by the look on his face the night her father had confronted his family that he was not happy about killing the baby. He would hate her. His whole family would hate her.
Her father had asked for five thousand dollars even though the procedure was only a tenth of that. He had already blown it on drugs and drink.
"Give me the money." She heard Grace say outside of her door and she sat up on the side of the bed hoping that she would at least be allowed to eat a nice breakfast before.
"She's not going." Her father said.
"What?" Grace seemed confused. "I'm not raising a bastard baby."
"She made her bed and she can sleep in it. Besides, those people have money. They can afford to pay child support. Hell, we should get a good bit out of them."
That's what it was always about. Rain suddenly understood. The money would never be spent on her or the baby's well being. It was for her father's gain. The abortion money was for his own pocket. He never had plans to do away with the baby.
Rain was happy about that part, but she didn't know how she was going to take care of the baby. She wouldn't get paid working with her father, but she would work every minute of the day. She wouldn't have anyone to help her care for the child. She knew her father would make sure Randy and his family never got to see the baby or spend time with it and that wasn't right. He would do it just to be hateful, just to hurt them because he enjoyed hurting people. She had to get away. She would not let her child be treated like she was. Her father would not hurt her child.
"Get up." Her father demanded the next day and she was forced to go with Grace to the social services building where she was signed up for free money for food and another program that gave her vouchers to buy healthy food that she would need while pregnant like milk and eggs. She was signed up for free health care and she soon found out that it was not for her benefit but for the free lawyer that would help get a child support check started. Apparently, the state could make the father pay before the baby was born and of course her father was going to get every dime he could.
Her parents enjoyed the free food, spending nearly her entire allowance in a day and sometimes they sold it for half the amount in exchange for drugs or cash.
She was only allowed to leave her room for doctor appointments, which she had to go to in order to keep some of the benefits, which aggravated her father because it was something he could not control.
Rain realized that even at eighteen she may not be able to leave her parents home. They would never let her out of their site long enough and she had heard them talking about having her considered mentally incompetent so they could get a disability check from her. It was hopeless and she became very depressed as she the hope was sucked out of her life.
Another month passed and the weather turned cold. The garage doors were closed all the time and her father made her come out and work. The dust made her cough and she worried that it was harming the baby girl inside of her. She thought about the ultrasound picture she was given at her last doctor's appointment. She was almost five months and she began to get excited about holding her child. She talked to her all the time and the child became her best friend even though she had not seen her yet.
With the work came the beatings again. She couldn't do anything right in her father's eyes, but her child would not be harmed. It amazed her how instinctively she protected her belly during the lashings. Mostly it was her face that took the most abuse now that no one saw her.
One day, the large gas powered heater started a fire. Her father had fallen asleep nearby and had dropped his liquor bottle. It shattered and the small flame ignited it. Rain ran outside immediately with more care for the baby than anything else.
Randy arrived before the firefighters did and he ran inside with a fire extinguisher. Her father was inside trying to put out the fire with a tire cover. It was put out quickly and they all came outside coughing and gagging because of the smoke.
"Are you alright?" Randy was at her side, checking her body for burns, then his eyes dropped to her belly. "You're still pregnant?" Instantly he was angry.
"Randy, go in the house." His stepfather told him.
"No." he said staying by his parent's side. "I'm 18 Kyle and this is my business."
"Fine. You got court papers last week for child support."
"And no one told me?"
"Sweetie, believe me, I was going to tell you this weekend. I wanted to consult a lawyer first and make sure there really was a baby."
They all glared at her. They blamed her for deceiving them.
"We are fighting for custody, Rain."