Losing Grace

By Ryukansen

Chapter Thirteen: May As Well Be

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Author's Notes: Sorry guys that I haven't updated since a long time, and I have no one to blame but myself. It was probably due to a busy schedule and a bit of writer's block from time to time. But this chapter was pretty hard to write since I'm trying to get the gap of Arthur and Alfred's relationship closer than normal. Please Review & Read as always!

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The Tower was one of the highest buildings in the city , so when Francis arrived to meet Roderich, the lights of the lower buildings nearly blinded him as the two knelt down over the patio that was later installed to the growing structure.

The night was cold and wet - since it had just rained a couple of hours ago before their time of meeting, and Francis hadn't bothered to wear a jacket - thinking that the summer heat would also take place in the twilight rather than just the morning.

It was quiet at first and Francis was extremely nervous considering that his job was on the line while Roderich ordered a small drink from the outside waiter who was to cater for their every need for the night. Francis made no move to order anything - too worried of his career while fumbling his thumbs back and forth. He wasn't an extremely benevolent actor or television host lately so Francis knew Roderich's impending anger was ready to lash out on him.

"Do you know why I called you out here?" Roderich went on as he took a swig of his drink while gazing at Francis with unwavering eyes. The Frenchman shrugged and let out a pathetic grin while backing away a little from the malevolent glare he was receiving from his higher-up.

"Tch, that was to be expected." The Austrian retorted, obviously disappointed that his actor was rather daft about his status and position in his entertainment business. "You and Arthur have been childishly arguing in front of our audience and viewers." He grumbled while taking another drink and asking for more as he turned his attention towards the cars below, speeding quickly with no idea of him above.

"I mean, seriously - your show has only been thriving on Arthur's conflicts lately - and not to mention the previous episode! How did you think I felt when Arthur and Seychelles suddenly seemed like they were disinterested in one another?" He scolded him while staring hard into his lavender pupils. "And now - this." He took out a magazine with a huge headline and image of Francis. " 'Hidden Romance? Arthur Kirkland's Fiancée Cheating?'" He slammed it on the floor. "Preposterous!"

Francis winced.

"And don't even get me started with Arthur's ridiculous vacation sprees." He spat and looked down from the patio again to relax.

"That's why…" He let out a deep sigh before looking into Francis' eyes again. "…That's why, from now on - you two will take a break from your silly talk show and Arthur's drama series and life, whatnot, and will be attending a series of commercials to ease the tension going on between your idiotic conversations." He replied nonchalantly but an evil spark emerged from his dark eyes. "Obviously together." He muttered, making Francis' heart beat crazily in agitation and surprise.

"B-But how can we when we don't even know where Arthur is?" Francis laughed trying to get out of the situation already as he began staring at the Austrian with ridicule in his lavender eyes.

"You think I'm idiotic?" The Composer and Entertainment Head asked as he glared at the fool in front of him. "I wouldn't be so irresponsible to have one of my celebrities foolishly walk off without my knowing." He grumbled and took out his cell phone.

It was ringing and a rather loud voice began to immediately respond with enthusiasm.

"Hello? Yes, Gilbert. I would like you to contact the area Arthur Kirkland is at the moment. You have Kiku's number, do you not? If it doesn't work - I suppose you can just send someone to retrieve the two." He sighed, "Alright. I'll talk to you more about it later."

And with no other second to waste, he closed the phone and gazed at Francis with a mocking smile. "Now, get ready to have a whole months worth of friendship time."

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Kiku had deliberately told him to stay away from Alfred - or at least keep his emotions to himself until they left for good. It was impossible however, and to Arthur's agitation he couldn't keep the American off his mind, nonetheless stop even dreaming about him.

"You alright?" Alfred asked as they lay on the fields gazing at the misty blue skies above them. Orange-scarlet clouds hovered above them sprinkled with splashes of lavender and bright gold. The sun was rising and they found themselves in a dream as they lay together alone amongst the amber pasture.

It was total peace and he felt relieved as Arthur closed his eyes to smell nothing but the sweet fruits and nectar that were hanging above the apple trees next to them. As he fluttered his eyes opened for a brief second, he felt a huge form suddenly catch his smaller frame, and as he looked up found Alfred and himself twirling down the small slope they were lazing about on.

Despite his irritability, he remained quiet while cursing mentally to himself and removing the grass blades from his shirt and pants. He was about to reprimand the other man without thinking, but he heard a hearty chuckle from the other - which surprised him. He turned to find Alfred cleaning his hair as well from the grass that they had tortured nearly to death by rolling over.

A laugh was heard, and Arthur gazed at a happy Alfred who was now lying next to him again - but in a breathless state as he clutched onto his chest with a cheery face. "You should have seen your face!" He roared, but then halted as he let out a more tranquil grin.

Arthur never understood Alfred. One day he was ignoring him, and then the other making friends again. But today, he was also different ; his sky blue eyes gazed at him with a little curiosity - and before he knew it he found Alfred coming closer to him with silence and a serious face.

And to his surprise the young man was over him, his arms locking the poor celebrity from escaping as their eyes met in a sudden clash.

"….Don't panic, alright?" Arthur didn't know who Alfred was talking to as he seemed to not focus on anything at the current moment. He was breathing quietly, but there was something written in his eyes that made Arthur frightened and soon the Briton found himself, bracing himself for the inevitable.

Nothing came.

Instead Arthur fluttered his eyes open to find Alfred gazing back at the sky counting the clouds that were slowly strolling in the heavens. His blue eyes twinkled, but he seemed a bit down as he failed to do whatever he was supposed to do.

Arthur sat up quite disappointed.

They stood still as the wind continued to blow across the farm and the crows began to sprout about among the sky making annoying calls as they sped through with their vast and dark wings. Sparrow songs chirped from time to time, and small animals scurried amongst the pasture.

They remained quiet for a long time.

"Let's head back in - they'll probably want us to help out." Alfred suggested and got himself up before lending his own hand to aid Arthur. The Briton took it appreciatively and they walked quietly back into the shabby house completely torn by a painful silence.

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Alfred knew that he had misbehaved in the presence of Arthur at that moment - but there was some sort of curiosity that kept lingering on in his mind and urging him to at least try…and maybe, steal a kiss.

So when the chance came, he was going to kiss the Brit in order to find out how he truly felt - but his brain stopped working in the middle of his confidence when suddenly Vash appeared out of the back porch doing some sort of chore while mumbling a few profanities, and he had to stop while biting his lips till they bled secretly.

He was also very well disappointed, and his curiosity was now at it's peak.

What did he feel for this man?

Hopefully…not much.

As the two entered the house they found the other four in a serious conversation. "I say we all go on a fishing trip." Matthew replied with a straight face as he gazed at the other three who all seemed to be against it.

"Nah, we've gone fishing way too much this summer." Vash reminded Matthew about the various trips they had taken before Kiku and Arthur had arrived. "How about hunting?" He smirked, but Liechtenstein was in the moment to protest.

"I'd like something for all of us to do…brother…if I may…I-I don't really like hunting." She informed him while the siblings both turned red in embarrassment.

"How about a nice spa?" Kiku had asked with hope in his eyes - the other three were against it.

"It's so like you to want to go to a spa." Matthew sighed while Vash let out a snort and looked away. Liechtenstein was busy greeting Arthur and Alfred who had just came in.

"…How about camping out near the falls?" Alfred suggested even though he did not know what they were talking about. "We haven't done that in a long time." He replied merrily while gazing at the other three who were now pondering about it.

Arthur sat down near Kiku while Liechtenstein handed him a cup of herbal tea and sat beside her brother once more in contemplation.

Alfred stood next to her as he gazed intently at the others, eager to await their opinions while he, himself, drank a morning cup of coffee that Matthew had brewed for him before Arthur and him headed out towards the fields for their own private time.

"…It doesn't cost a lot…" Vash replied while gazing at Alfred's heartwarming blue eyes, and he turned around his seat to fetch a notepad that was carelessly laying around on a small bench. "…The only things we need to bring are toiletries, provisions and sleeping equipment." He began to write the necessary items rather obsessively while he also noted the amount of money each would cost as well.

"…Yes, I guess we haven't gone camping around the waterfalls for some time now." Liechtenstein murmured while smiling delightfully and Matthew nodded in agreement.

The only two who stood quiet were Arthur and Kiku who seemed to…be hesitant with the whole camping thing, as they looked at one another with clear confusion and worry. "Oh, come on!" Alfred smiled widely while hugging the two with his strong arms. "It's not that bad!" He tried to convince them as he began ranting on how perfect the whole area was and whatnot.

"First of all, I'm disappointed Kiku that you would be hesitating on this trip!" Alfred seemed shocked to see that Kiku, the once, nature-loving boy would be so….defensive against his suggestion.

"I-I am not hesitating!" The Japanese murmured with a blush flushing across his face. "I'm just…I haven't done this for a long time." He sighed and wisped raven hair away from his hazelnut eyes. "But I'll be willing to go camping again…If you want." He smiled, leaving Arthur the only one to be stared at intensely by the other five members.

"W-Well. I've never done this thing before." He murmured while gazing at everyone with shame. It wasn't like he had time to do these "normal" activities. He had never had the time once he had gotten his position as an actor, so it wasn't his damn fault!

"We understand!" Matthew quickly responded while pushing the rim of his glasses and smiling bashfully at the Briton. "It'll be fun though, and we'll be there for you!" He promised while Alfred nodded alongside his twin with puppy baby blue eyes. Arthur turned scarlet as the American twins smiled heartwarmingly at him at once.

"Very well then."

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The first day started with them waking up early in the morning and having fed all the livestock, and asked for an old time friend to care for their farm while they were gone. Arthur had sat next to Alfred in the truck and Kiku sat in the far behind of the corner. At the meantime Matthew was driving the other small convertible with the other siblings, following his elder brother as they soon began their departure.

"It's beautiful around here." Arthur replied absentmindedly as they began to pass a couple of trees and brushes that have not been in contact with much of man. Alfred smiled as well as he drove through a winding path and into a mysterious area of he forest he was leading the tourists to.

"It is…it's one of my favorite places." Alfred replied happily while Kiku took snapshots in the back - having found something quite interesting as his mind wandered off to who knows where.

"And I thought New York had barely any of it left." The British celebrity joked and Alfred just smirked in response.

The ride had become silent, and Kiku had fallen asleep before they had finally arrived at their destination.

It was a huge area covered with lots of oak trees and thickets - but a warm and free opening for them to park. Matthew had gotten out of his own car first, surveying the whole scene while helping Vash and Liechtenstein unpack their necessities and some belongings.

Alfred got out of his truck and helped Arthur get out, while waking up Kiku timidly and gently.

"Well- here we are!" The American twins replied while showing them the view.

It was breathtaking. Right in the middle of the open trees and bushes was a sparkling lake as clear as the blue skies above, and it seemed hardly anyone knew of the place. There were plentiful squawks from birds and some signs of deer frolicking through the meadow on the other end. The scenery chilled his blood as he gazed at it in awe. "Like it?" Alfred smiled walking over to Arthur and placing his strong hands over his shoulders despite the nervous feeling both were getting from one another.

"Of course! It's wonderful!" Arthur responded immediately while he gazed at the landscape once more with astonishment. Liechtenstein and Vash smiled to themselves as they got out lunch for the day and a blanket to cover the prickly grass below them.

"Yeah…we found this place with our parents…around five, I think." Matthew smiled melancholically as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and gazed with his brother and the Brit. "It's been so long too…we've been here…since when? Five years ago?" He asked Alfred, who seemed to be just gazing too quietly at the familiar place.

"Hey, Arthur - let's see where we are? Shall we?" The American suddenly piped up as he took the celebrity's hand and began to dash through the many oak trees.

The passageway was covered with some pebbles and road dirt and surrounded by equally tall oak trees that had survived more years than the usual around these parts. Alfred was a fast runner, and so Arthur kept stumbling away as he followed in pursuit of the jolly American.

They were climbing a huge steep hill, and he kept tripping every-so often that Alfred would turn around and let out a flashing smile while aiding him. The last step towards the hill ended up with the two holding each other for support when Arthur nearly fell from the very top, but clung for his dear life onto the American's strong arms.

They ended up in an awkward position, however.

As Arthur clung onto Alfred, he found himself within the other man's arms - and a blush started forming as he realized where his head was lying against.

He could feel the beating of the other man's heart - which seemed to be aching rather heavily with excitement and some other intense feelings. He tried to let go, but his hands automatically locked themselves around the other's waist. As if he did not want to let go.

Alfred at the mean time found himself holding onto the Briton's slender waist, in amazement - and he quickly found himself smelling Arthur's rose fragrance hair.

Was this honestly the time to actually start believing in his feelings? He sighed as he held Arthur more closely to him.

He may really be in love with him.

Alfred's touch was much more rough than the usual gentle sensation he would leave after brushing against Arthur's skin. It was harsh, but possessive at the same time that made Arthur's heart leap as he felt himself get forcibly closer to the American who was closing his eyes in what seemed to be as if he was in a pained state.

Arthur was very confused but did not mind Alfred who was ignoring everything else around them. His face seemed to be getting closer, and the gap between their lips seemed to be finally reaching to an end - until the American fluttered his eyes open with guilt and he would nervously look away and tell him that they should continue on and find out how close they were to their actual campsite.

As they finally reached the top with disappointment, the two looked across the horizon to find out the landmark they were searching for from the very beginning.

A huge waterfall was seen in a spot not so far from where Vash and the others decided to stay, and a small creek was running from the small pool of water the fall had created. Lucky enough for them it seemed to run near the area they would be sleeping for the night - and so Alfred concluded their mini adventure was done.

Arthur nodded while following him back down, but despite that constant smiled toppled onto his furious face lay a mind of disappointment as he followed the tall shadow Alfred managed to cascade from the remaining light of the setting sun.

He gulped with hesitation as he watched Alfred's shadow disappear slowly but surely, and soon enough he himself began to realize how impossible it was for him and Alfred to have even a connection.

"Hey Arthur." He heard Alfred's voice and he found the young man facing him with a small smile gracing his thin lips. The American traveled towards the Briton with quick pace, and soon enough he found the American softly touching his pallid cheeks with his warm fingertips.

"Have a good night." The man replied with soft shining blue eyes that held nothing but the emotion before him. Alfred then left to depart to his own tent with nothing but smiling eyes.

And yet, despite the inevitability of the whole situation - Arthur felt that he couldn't but help but fall in love despite the warnings.