THANK YOU.
That's all I have to say for this author's note. THANK YOU. Read on!
To put it lightly, Link had been through a lot.
He had swung from the tails of dragons, hidden under barrels from massive pig-monsters, hitched a ride with the most demonic pigeon he had ever met, flown around on leaves, hitched a ride on a bird girl, not to be confused with the aforementioned pigeon, attacked the tongues of shark creatures, won auctions, gotten rich and poor just as quickly (no thanks to those evil rupee-stealing rats) and had to find eight pieces of the Triforce.
And that was only the start of it.
At long last he had worked his way to the top of Ganon's tower, only to find Zelda sleeping, and the Gerudo seemed in the monologue-ing mood.
Great. Just great. At least the other bosses had the good grace to keep quiet when he was killing them.
And that was before Ganon had punched him in the face.
Link chided himself for not seeing it coming, with the angry shout and the pullback for the swing, but it was like getting run over by a truck, and the Master Sword had been thrown to the other side of the tower, right next to Zelda' head. Honestly, Link wondered how much of a difference it would make if the sword had impaled her. Not like the princess had been too useful in the past.
Although, she did ferry him around on her boat for a little while, but he was willing to forget that given the circumstances.
So, in a haze of post-getting-punched-in-the-face pain, Link could only watch as Ganon successfully summoned the Triforce and prepared to make his wish.
Just great. First the monologue, then the face-punching. This couldn't get any better.
Then the old man appeared, and Link thought he was losing it. The punch to the face must have done it. What was an old guy doing here? He did have a hand on the Triforce, effectively stopping Ganon from making his wish. More power to you, old guy, Link thought. And, strangely enough, the old guy kind of looked like his boat.
I am officially losing it.
The Triforce started to glow, and Link caught the word 'drown,' which usually wasn't a positive connotation, and Ganon started coughing up hairballs, or maybe he was laughing. Link couldn't tell, everything was kind of fuzzy after taking the full force of Ganon's knuckles.
Slowly Link got to his feet, watching Ganon cackling in the middle of the tower, which was steadily flooding with water. Ah. Drowning.
A girlish voice echoed from his side. "I'm sorry, Link!" Zelda announced, holding the Master Sword like she knew what she was doing with it. She probably didn't even know which side was the sharp one, and both of the sides were sharp. Link narrowed his eyes at her, wondering if she was dumb or just plain stupid.
"I overslept!" She apologized, and Link crossed his arms, ready to get a word in for once.
"Oh, hell no!" He yelled back at her, and she jumped slightly. "Don't you 'I overslept' me!"
"What?" The princess gasped, looking confused.
"Don't play innocent with me." Link pointed an accusatory finger at her. "You might want to sit down, princess, because I have a lot of injustices I'd like to mention to you. Let's begin, shall we?"
"Link, is this really the time?" Zelda asked, eyes darting to where Ganon stood.
"Don't mind me. I want to hear this." Ganon waved his hand in a go on motion.
Link cleared his throat and prepared to begin. So what if Hyrule was flooding? It was time Zelda heard how unfair the job of the Hero was.
"First – you get your Triforce pieces just handed to you. You know how many pieces of the Triforce I had to hunt out, princess? Eight. That's right, eight. And you know what you were doing while I was finding those pieces of Triforce, that were, may I add, not just sitting around on necklaces or in some old guy's pocket? They were in dungeons, with monsters and angry things that want to kill you. While you were sitting in a safehouse, doing, oh wait, nothing. Offense number one."
"He's got a point, you know." Ganon muttered, and Zelda glared at him.
"What? Just thought I'd comment. This is better than Hylian Housewives." The Gerudo shrugged.
"My sister has been kidnapped, my grandmother almost died, I had to leave my cherished home behind to defeat this guy –" He pointed at Ganon, who waved – "Who just punched me in the face!"
"Sorry about that. I said I wouldn't kill you!" Ganon called back.
"Um, well..." Zelda began awkwardly, but Link was in no way near done. Snatching the Master Sword from her hands, he started to wave it around for dramatic effect.
"I have crossed oceans, died like ten times, and risked my life countless times so you can oversleep. So don't even think you can justify your actions!"
Ganon started to clap, which was a nice sentiment, and Link brandished the Master Sword at him to show Zelda the proper way to react to such a moving tale, when the blade slipped out of his hand. After all, the entire ocean was pouring down on the tower, things were bound to get a little slippery. Only problem was, the blade shot straight into Ganon's chest. The Gerudo stumbled back for a few steps, eyes wide with surprise, then hardened as he was promptly turned to stone.
He must have punched me hard. I really am losing it.
Then the old man died, Link became a pirate, and everything went downhill.
Can I just say it again - THANK YOU! Thank you for every read, every review, every favorite or follow. You're the best!
Until next time!
(P.S. If you read the earliest version of the last chapter the characterization was messed up, but it's fixed now. Go check it out again, if you deign it. If you've read the manga it will make a lot more sense to you now.)