Author's note: Hi, peeps! I return with the world's weirdest love triangle!
Haha, this fic has changed so much from what it was originally. No regrets, though. It's much better than it would have been, otherwise. Trust me.
Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter!
P.S. The chapter title is multifunctional. Yay!
Chapter Thirteen: Steady Progress
Several hours into his paperwork, Holy Rome was bored. Really, really bored. A few times, he'd had to fight the insatiable urge to smack his face on the desk in frustration. Just how did Germany put up with this all the time?
"Holy Roooome!" a familiar voice called as footsteps entered the room. "I'm boooored... How far into the paperwork are you?"
Holy Rome rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "Only partially..." he replied.
"Aww... but I can only entertain myself with annoying Austria for so long..."
"Si, si..." Holy Rome sighed. "I honestly don't know how countries cope these days... Stupid paperwork..."
"Oh, si, it can be a real pain in the culo!" There was a slight pause as Holy Rome continued to rub at his nose, willing away the developing headache. "... Maybe you should take a break?"
"Si... Si, that might-a be a good idea."
A hand appeared in front of his face, holding a pair of glasses. "Also, you might-a want to use these. To help with the whole strainy-strain thing."
"Oh, grazie."
Holy Rome took the glasses, too tired and frustrated to wince. He knew perfectly well whose glasses these were. Silently, he unfolded them and slipped them on. His vision slightly clearer now, he swivelled in his chair and gazed up at Italy.
"Hee~! You look-a really handsome! I mean, not that you didn't look handsome before, but now you look sophisticatedly handsome!"
"Oh, grazie..." As he observed the bright smile on the face of his boyfriend, the conversation he'd had earlier in the day came to mind. "Say, Italy?"
"Si?"
Holy Rome squirmed, slightly uncomfortable. "You know same-sex relationships?"
"Like the one we have?"
"Si... How many countries have made it legal so far? Because they weren't legal anywhere when I was an empire."
"Oh, si, that's true! Well..." Italy sat on Holy Rome's lap, grinning. "As of now - the 1940s - not many countries have legalised it yet. Italy has! And so has France... and Japan... though I think the first one to do it was Netherlands!"
"I see..."
"I heard that German people used to be totally cool with it - even though it still wasn't legal - up until Germany's recent boss showed up. That guy's a real stick-in-the-mud about that-a kind of thing."
"So I heard..."
"I also heard that Sweden is considering it, but it's not-a quite legal yet..." Italy's voice lowered slightly. "Which might explain the reaction of that waiter..."
"Hmm?"
"Oh, nothing, nothing! Anyway, that's about all the countries I can think of that have legalised it. Russia certainly hasn't... China hasn't... Britain hasn't... America hasn't... Oh! And Austria and Hungary haven't, either! Though, maybe, one day, they will. Hungary certainly wants to!" He settled into a more comfortable position. "Wouldn't it be nice if we all legalised it? Like Big Brother France always said... love is love!"
Holy Rome gave his boyfriend a warm smile. As much as he hated agreeing with anything that cheese-eater had ever said, he found the statement to be true. His younger self would never have agreed with him, but his younger self hadn't yet realised that the one he loved was actually male. Yet, despite that game-changing revelation, he'd come to realise that he loved him anyway.
"Si..."
He placed a hand on Italy's hand. Curious, Italy looked down at him.
The pull of desire was strong. The desire to hold his beloved closer. To express his feelings in actions, rather than words. He leaned forward, his gaze intensifying. If only they were sitting at eye level, this would be a lot easier.
Italy seemed to understand, however, as he leaned down, his face pausing inches from Holy Rome's face. Taking the initiative, Holy Rome leaned forwards and pressed his lips against Italy's. The blissful sensation caused his eyes to drift closed.
As their mouths gently moved against each other, he suddenly felt a hand rifle through his hair, pulling it out of its slicked-back state. He continued to melt further into the kiss.
It was then that he heard a noise. Footsteps. Quick as lightning, he pushed Italy away from him and looked towards the door. At that moment, Austria appeared around the side of the door frame.
"Ger-" the Austrian began, but paused, open-mouthed, at the sight of them. "I'll... come back later..." He promptly turned around and left.
Unblinking, Holy Rome turned to look at Italy, who turned and looked at him. They stared at each other for a few moments in shock.
Eventually, Italy began chuckling. At the sight, Holy Rome released a breath and smiled. Then he began chuckling as well.
The situation was rather silly, after all. They were like two kids pretending they hadn't stolen from the cookie jar...
That night, while Italy slept soundly beside him, nestled into his side, Holy Rome stared up at the ceiling. He couldn't sleep. For one, he still had way too much paperwork to do and, for another...
He couldn't stop thinking about what had happened the previous night. He'd tried to talk to Germany, only to get blindly attacked the moment their eyes had connected.
... In retrospect, though, he'd done the exact same thing, hadn't he? The day he'd broken free of that wretched back room, he'd attacked Germany without a second thought, believing him to be holding Italy prisoner and never listening to a single plea.
He hated to admit it, but they were more alike than he'd thought.
He sighed, glancing sideways at Italy's sleeping face. He looked like an angel, all curled up and smiling softly.
The fact hadn't changed that he'd taken his beloved's best friend away from him. That he had no way to bring him back without a compromise. That neither he nor Germany even wanted that compromise...
He went back to staring at the ceiling. After a moment, he frowned determinedly to himself. He really didn't want to do this, but if getting it over with faster would make Italy happy, then he'd do it.
Closing his eyes, he concentrated...
A lone figure, cloaked in black, treaded down the all-too familiar corridor, the clacking of his shoes being the only sound in the empty air. Before too long, he was faced with the all-too familiar door that was cloaked in shadow.
He paused in front of it, his mouth twisting unpleasantly. After the last time, he wasn't too keen to open it again, just in case the same thing happened. So, instead, he opted for option number two.
Lifting a knuckle, he lightly rapped it on the door. "... Germany?" he asked.
"... Oh," a voice from inside replied. It sounded awfully close to the door. "It's you..."
"Si..."
Holy Rome squirmed slightly. He never did enjoy talking to this guy. Especially since every one of their past encounters had involved a fight.
"... Vhat do you vant?"
"Well... I was wondering if we could talk."
"... I have nozing to say to you."
Holy Rome stiffened. It seemed Germany was going to be awkward again. Now, the only question was how he was going to handle this...
He drew a deep breath. "Look... I don't-a like you and you don't-a like me... I think we're clear on that..." He waited for a response, but got none. "But we need to talk about this!"
"Nein. Zere is nozing to talk about."
He frowned. "Si. There is." There was no response. He heaved a sigh, his frustration growing. "Look, I'm not happy about this either! I'm only talking to you for Italy's sake!"
There was silence. Long, dead silence.
Holy Rome released a breath in an attempt to calm himself down. Getting angry would help nobody right now.
"Italy really misses you, you know." Silence. "... He wants to see you again." More silence. "So, I was hoping we could-a make a compromise. For his sake..."
The infuriatingly tense silence dragged on for what felt like ages. Holy Rome felt his heart hammer against his chest in anticipation. After a long moment, there came the sound of a body slumping back against the door.
He sighed again. "You're not-a going to make this easy, are you?"
"Hm..."
"Fine... I'll come back tomorrow night. Hopefully, you'll be more talkative then."
Turning on his heel, he walked away.
Holy Rome's eyes snapped open. Glancing around, he noticed that he was back in his - well, technically Germany's - room and a quick glance down told him that Italy was still nestled into his side.
Releasing a breath of air, he snuggled into the mattress. As much as Italy would love to hear how Germany was doing - he was sure - it probably wasn't a good idea to tell him. At least not yet. It would probably only sadden him to know that their situation still hadn't been resolved. That Germany was still being uncooperative.
He would solve the problem first and then tell Italy...
The following day was rather uneventful. More paperwork, more coffee, a little trip around town, then more paperwork and more coffee, with the occasional visit in the office from Italy.
His boyfriend would come in to see him either when he was bored, he had some interesting story to tell or, in one case, to introduce him to a friend of his.
"This is Pookie!" Italy said gleefully, pointing to a brown cat that was sitting on his head. "I named her! She's actually a stray, I think - since she doesn't have a collar, or anything - but she comes to see me so often that she might as well be my cat!"
Holy Rome gave a gentle smile. "Oh, that's nice, Italy," he replied.
Italy beamed at him. "Do you like cats, Holy Rome?"
"They're alright, I suppose... though I've never been much of an animal person, really."
"Aww, that's a shame." There was a slight pause. "Germany always preferred dogs, you know! Do you like dogs?"
"They're alright."
"I don't think-a Germany was terribly fond of Pookie. Can you believe he threatened to experiment on her once?! I don't think he actually did, though."
"Oh..."
"... Well, I'll leave you to your paperwork. Gotta keep the boss man happy, after all! Ciao!" Italy wandered out of the room.
"Ciao..."
A lone figure raised his fist, lightly rapping it against a shadowy door.
"Ciao," he said, frowning slightly. "It's me again."
"Oh," a voice on the other side replied. "Hallo..."
"Are you actually going to talk-a to me this time?" He was greeted with silence. He heaved a sigh. "Nope, looks like we're doing this song and dance again..." He paused. "I don't-a want to do this body compromising thing either, you know... but I do want to make Italy happy." He paused. "Don't-a you want to make him happy?"
"... Ja."
Finally, he was getting somewhere. "Then we should talk about what to do."
"... Hm."
"After all, he wants us both around and you know how difficult that is without a compromise."
"Hm."
Holy Rome sighed, turning around and leaning against the wall. He crossed his arms in irritation. "I suppose one option would be to take-a turns."
"Mm."
He closed his eyes. "Though I don't know how we'd decide who gets to be with Italy on what day..." He was greeted with silence. He opened his eyes, glancing towards the closed door. "Germany?"
"Ja."
"What do you think?"
There was a sigh. "I don't know..."
"Hmm." He moved away from the wall. "Maybe I should-a come back tomorrow, then. Think on it, won't-a you?"
"Sure..."
The following day was more of the same. More paper, more caffeine, another trip out and more Italy. Holy Rome was actually starting to get a hang of the paperwork, though, and he was pretty sure that he'd get it finished soon. He didn't know if he could get it to Germany's usual standard, but he was certainly going to try.
"No, Pookie, don't eat that!" Italy called out from the other room.
"Italy, vould you control zat feline of yours?!" Austria called out.
"Sorry!"
Holy Rome sighed, continuing with his paperwork.
A lone figure approached the shadowy door, staring it down with a determined frown. Raising a fist, he moved to knock. Before knuckle even touched wood, however, a voice rang out from within.
"Hallo again..." Germany said.
Holy Rome lowered the fist, sighing. "Ciao..." he replied.
"... How is Italy doing?"
His eyes widened at Germany's sudden desire to talk. "Oh, well, he's fine."
"... I see." There was a pause. "I heard you two are dating now."
"Oh. Well. Si. We are..." Holy Rome squirmed uncomfortably. "Where did you hear that?"
"From him. Ze last time I vas out..."
"Oh." Well, this was awkward. "... So, uh... about that compromise..."
Germany sighed, a small thump indicating that he was leaning back against the wall. "Ja?"
"Any ideas?"
"... Not really."
"Well... I can't-a come up with anything better than taking turns..." Holy Rome paused to think. "I don't know if merging is possible..." He cringed at the thought. How much of himself would he lose, if he did that? He waited for a response, but got none. "Germany?"
"Ja, ja..."
He sighed, knowing he was getting nowhere. "I only want to make Italy happy..." He got no response again. Grunting, he turned away from the door. "I guess I'll come back tomorrow."
"Ja... sure..."
Holy Rome walked away, his long black cloak swishing behind him.