Chapter 13

I check my snares and am disappointed in what I find. One snare was triggered but empty and the others were still untouched. Whatever got through my snare must have been fast. Still, Peeta is on the mend and I need to get food into us.

As I traveled between snares I notice some berries. I put them into the bag and also find a few roots that are edible. There really isn't much else to eat except some pine bark. I have the feeling that pine bark might be something too rough for Peeta's stomach, having grown up in the merchant side of town. I go ahead and gather some of the needles and bark. If anything the pine needles will soften the cave floor.

When I come back to the cave, Peeta is sleeping peacefully and I notice that the jug of water that I left is empty. I set the back pack down and go back to the river and fill it back up. I've just filled it up when I notice smoke coming from about two hundred yards north. It looks to be a fire. I quickly run back to the cave.

As soon as I have flung myself into the cave I am gathering up all of our supplies and am tugging Peeta to stand. He is sleepy but he complies. I am tugging him to the door of the cave, not being mindful of his wound at all.

"What's happened?" Peeta asks me quickly.

I make a motion for him to be quiet only for him to repeat himself. I reach over and put a hand over his mouth. I stare intently out of the cave and look for signs of life.

I release his mouth and whisper to him, "There's a fire not very far from here. That's means someone is close by."

"Who?" Peeta asks.

I roll my eyes at him. "It's either a Tribute setting up camp or a diversion technique. I don't know which. I need to get you up a tree where I can protect us ."

Peeta's hand grips my upper arm. "I can't climb, Katniss. Especially not like this. If it's another Tribute and not the Careers then we might be okay to stay here."

I hiss at him. "We can'tstay here! I will not risk our lives because our camp is set up so close to another Tribute. The Careers will hunt them down and we are too close to them to be able to stay safe. "

"Running out of the cave as soon as we see smoke is not the best plan, either," Peeta says gently. "If it is a Career pack trying to flush some of us out of hiding we'll have played into their trap."

I consider this for a moment. "The fire is too far away from here. Unless they've got a large enough Career pack to encircle a 300 yard radius, then it's not a trap."

Peeta nods his head and taking a shaky step closer to the mouth of the cave to see the smoke more clearly. "So what's the plan. We take off out of here and go where?" I think we're better off being concealed here rather than me hobbling along behind you and then sleeping on the ground in plain sight."

I sigh because he is right. There are two of us and I've got to remember that I should be protecting Peeta as much as I can.

After a few more moments of debate with myself I concede that Peeta is right. I go outside and pull a muscle in my lower back pushing a boulder that weighed three times my own weight in front of the cave mouth. I bite my lip and force myself to push another boulder partially in front of the mouth of the cave from the other direction. With a little zig zagging on your belly, you can get into and out of the cave. I slosh through the river and dart behind a tree to see how the cave looks from a distance. As far as I can tell, no one would dream to think there was a cave in that pile of rocks.

Satisfied, I go back across the river quickly and squirm back into the cave. It is darker inside once I get in. Without the mouth of the cave exposed, natural light has a hard time getting into the cave.

Peeta is leaning against the cave wall and I sit down beside him. I divide the berries and roots that I gathered. It takes us less than a minute to devour it all. The hunger seems worse now that we've had a few bites and stopped. I force the entire canteen of water into Peeta knowing that he needs it more than I do. It's not safe to leave the cave again until we know if there is a Tribute near us or if they've moved on.

I feel Peeta shift his arms and I realize that I am still wearing his jacket. I quickly take it off and watch as Peeta shrugs into it. He opens his arms up and I scoot closer so that I can allow him to put his arm around me. Gale has done this for me before on hunting trips. I feel him slide his hand up and down my arm to create some friction for warmth. I place my head on the hollow at the base of his neck. This feels nothing like sharing warmth with Gale. Peeta molds himself around me and when I move, he moves with me. I feel so comfortable that I drift off just as Peeta's hand begins to stroke my hair. I turn my nose into his neck and can't help but sigh at the feeling of protection.

When I wake up, it is dusk. Peeta hasn't moved at all, it seems, since I fell asleep. My face is buried in his neck. I keep still, savoring the moment of private bliss. It is my hunger that brings reality back to me. I am hungry and so is Peeta. We are trapped in the cave with only the food in the pack. I have no bow and my snares aren't good enough to trap game. The only way to get food right now is from Haymitch. It is this thought that causes me to press a kiss into Peeta's neck. He turns and looks down at me with smoldering eyes. How I would recognize those blue eyes anywhere. I have many years of looking at him only to find him looking back at me to not have his eyes memorized. I have never seen this expression before. I can feel my face heating up so I press my nose further into his neck and work on memorizing the way Peeta smells.

We are still for a moment. I feel the butterflies in my stomach return and I am unsure if it is stagefright or is truly because of my proximity to Peeta. I am wondering if he has forgotten that I am trying to follow his lead in the whole acting in love thing. His hand moves from my upper arm and I feel him grip my waist tightly. He brings his mouth to my ear as he pulls me to him for what will look like a hug to the cameras. He inhales and exhales loudly so that it will seem as if he is smelling my hair.

"No matter what happens from here on out Katniss, never question the validity of anything I say or do. I will not lie or do anything that I do not wish to do from here on out."

It is whispered directly into my ear for secrecy but his warm breath has increased the butterflies. There is no way I can lie to myself about Peeta anymore.

I lean far enough away from Peeta so that he can look into my eyes and see me nod. I hope he understands my nod as more that just confirmation that I understand what he was told me. I have accepted my own feelings but that doesn't make me suddenly wish to talk about them.

His eyes search mine for a minute and then he smiles. I feel a smile on my own face as he tugs on my waist. His mouth is on mine and it isn't enough. I reach up and grip the front of his jacket and push on him. He leans against the cave wall while pulling on me. I am in his lap and suddenly the Games have disappeared. I am not concerned with Tributes or Gamemakers or even food because hunger for Peeta overrides everything. All I am and all I want is Peeta. I m pushing my mouth against his and his is pressing back. His hand are warm where my jacket has ridden up.

My whole life I have always known that I would never want to feel what parents feel when their child is reaped. Or even the anxiety of having children whose names are in the Reaping. Children come from marriage and marriage comes from love. Love leads to stupid decisions like my mother, who was a merchant's daughter, choosing to marry my father, who was from the Seam. She let her heart rule her mind and look where she is today? She also allowed her heart to take over her mind when my father died. Her love for Prim and me was not great enough to compete with the devastation she felt at the loss of her husband. I never want to experience that.

My whole existence has been set on finding and providing enough food to provide for so long that feeling emotions has been the last thing on my list. I don't know how I can feel this for Peeta already when I hardly know him. Maybe it is because I have already been in the Games that I now understand what there is to be lost in the world. Maybe it's because Peeta once did something so selfless that I can never get away from remembering it when I see him. Or maybe, just maybe, in all the years of trying to decide how to say thank you, I've noticed enough about him that I couldn't the draw to him through my layers of numbness. I am feeling it now tenfold and I feel a pang of remorse as I remember making fun of girls who allowed boys to drag them off to the slag heap during lunch or after school. I feel powerless against the rush of electricity coursing through me.

This hunger does not localize itself to my stomach. Instead I can feel the hunger in my toes, in my finger and especially in my lips. I reach up to grip the back of Peeta's neck and pull myself up higher against him. I have never done this ever before but Peeta moans softly and I know that I am doing something right.

His wavy blonde hair is incredibly soft and I weave my fingers into it. His hand on my waist is now a grip on my hip. He isn't gripping me tight enough. The cave begins to feel warm. It's all I can do not to moan out loud when Peeta's other hand cups the back of my neck. I sit down on Peeta's lap rather than kneeling in it. Peeta doesn't censor the moan that this elicits. I have just unzipped my jacket and yanked it off when I hear the clunk outside the cave. I recognize the sound after the last parachute and I ignore it as does Peeta. With my jacket off I can feel the heat better. It's all around me. It's in Peeta breath, it's coming from my cheeks. It's hanging in the air all around us.

Peeta puts an inch of space between our lips and the distance feels like a whole days journey on foot. I try to close the gap but Peeta whispers frantically, "I meant it, Katniss. I meant what I said to you."

The Capitol and all of Panem will be thinking that he is referring to what he said in his interview but I know he is speaking of what he last whispered in my ear.

I nod and pull on his neck. His lips are only on mine for a moment before he has pulled back again. "Whatever you want from me is yours, Katniss. It always has been and it always will be. What happens in the Game doesn't affect that. I've had you picked out for 10 years and I want you to know it."

I am so far into this moment that I don't even feel anger when Peeta reaches up to wipe the tear off of my cheek. I crush myself into him, finding new ways to bring us closer than we were a second ago and I hear a second cliking outside indicating that another parachute has landed.

"Not now, Haymitch!" I growl against Peeta's lips. I have just slipped my tongue in his mouth when a third clink sounds from outside the cave.

I peel myself off of Peeta and mutter a few choice insults at Haymitch. Not all of them are clean and will surely be edited out. The others will be left in for entertainment value. I worm my way outside the cave and quickly scoop up the three parachutes. It must be safe outside the cave if Haymitch has sent us parachutes.

When I get back inside the cave I leave the parachutes where I dropped them and rush back to Peeta, intent on picking up where we left off. Peeta smiles and laughs and tries to push me back gently. I kiss his jaw and he stops trying to stand up. Realizing our moment is over, I sigh and hug him close. He hugs me back and strokes my hair. I turn my head towards him. I can feel him trying to angle so that he can look down at me in the near darkness.

"We're a team, you and I. I'm not used to being on a team but I want to be on your team."

I feel the smile spread across his face and I realize that I have been smiling as well. My face hurts from using the unused muscles so much in the past half hour.

Peeta leans his forehead against mine. "You've been on my team for so long, Katniss. You've no idea how wonderful it is to hear that I'm on your team as well."

I can hardly believe it when a fourth clink comes from outside the cave. I kick a rock into the wall in frustration.

"Didn't know you enjoyed meddling in other people's affairs so much, Haymitch." Peeta says to him while I go through the boulders disguising the cave opening from outsiders.

I bring in the parachute and drag them all next to Peeta. I sit down as close to him as I can manage without being in his lap.

Peeta leans away. "We'd better not get to close. I don't think we can afford another parachute tonight. I grimace at the truth of that statement until we open the first gift.

Inside is a meal fit for the president himself. There must be five courses in the basket that was attached to the parachute.

The second parachute contains a two canteens of water and another dropper of iodine.

The third parachute is a medical kit and the fourth was a fishing rod that can be taken apart so that it will fit in a our pack.

"Food and medical supplies," I mutter. With the cost of all of the items we received, surely a bow and an arrow or two could have been afforded. Why would Haymitch withhold a bow from me? It must be something I can achieve in the Arena. The only way I've ever received a gift from Haymitch is when it is something needed for my survival and I can't get it for myself.

"Thanks for the food but what am I supposed to do? Carve one?"

Peeta, who is a much better person than I am, says, "Thank you so much to all who have contributed to these gifts we've received. I want to say that now in case we die.

I hide a smile. Peeta and his words have reminded people in the Capitol that we could die even though they've become attached to us, securing more donations to our cause from people hoping to keep us alive.

"One of us will die, Peeta."

There is silence in the cave as I am sure there is in the Capitol and in the Districts as people are watching.

"If one of us is to be a Victor, the other has to die," I say , looking up from where I have been dishing out the five course meal.

"That's the plan," Peeta says quietly. "Of of us will die."

"You think you know how this will end, do you?" I say angrily.

"I've loved you for a long time. What makes you think I would want to live if you aren't" Peeta says loudly.

I toss aside the lid that was covering a pot of boiled artichoke hearts. "You may have confessed a 10 year crush but that doesn't make my feelings less valid."

There is no silence as Peeta stumbles to me and crushes our lips together passionately. I have admitted that I love him. I feel myself crumbling as the walls I carefully constructed come tumbling down. I can almost hear the roar of it in my ear as Peeta kisses me.

When we finally run out of breath and are breathing rapidly I realize it is my heartbeat that I can hear.

"I've lost my father and my mother," I tell Peeta. He seems to comprehend the message I am sending him. "Life isn't always fair."

My message is a simple one. People die. Surviving is harder. I have spent my whole life surviving and I have no desire to spend the rest of my life having nightmares about losing Peeta whether by my own hand or another Tributes.

"How about we stick together until the very end and then we'll worry about it?" Peeta suggests.

I agree because what other option is there?

We eat our meal and save the rest for later. I contemplate the necessity of a bow and decide to try carving one tomorrow.

That night Peeta lays down first while I watch until my eyes won't stay open. During his turn to guard, he plays with my hair as I sleep. I don't admit it but I like it. I even struggle to stay awake a few moments longer to relish the feeling. I haven't felt this secure since before my father died. The last thought I remember before drifting to sleep was how glad I am to be on a team.