Chapter 13
Walking into the house that I grew up in was surreal. These walls once felt like they were caving in on me. Now though, they felt like home. Nothing has changed here at all. I really didn't expect it to either. Men are creatures of habit after all. The kitchen still had the faded yellow paint on the walls that my mother used to make it more cheery. The old tattered kitchen table is there with the three mismatch chairs.
I took my suit case up to my old bedroom. It looks as if Charlie had never walked in the room; let a lone change it any since last time I was here. It was like a shrine to my childhood. I put my case down on the bed and walked over to my cork board above my desk. The pictures hanging there brought a smile to my face. They were pictures of my friends and I.
"I couldn't change anything," my dad said from the door way. I jumped at the sudden intrusion. I wasn't expecting him to be there. He was leaning his tall frame against the door frame. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he said sheepishly.
"It's okay," I muttered. "I," began to say but trailed off.
"It's true, I couldn't change anything. I wasn't able to even come in here. It hurt too much," he began to say but I cut him off. I didn't want to have this conversation then. "No Bells, let me get this out. I didn't just lose my grand-daughter," he said with a choke. "I also lost my daughter that day."
"You have no idea what I went through," I said.
"I know. I couldn't imagine out living my daughter. I know it was hard. But baby, I know what it's like to have my child choose to leave me. It hurt when your mom left but when you did, I can't even explain it right." He said as he looked at his feet. I didn't realize how selfish I was until that moment. "I'll let you get some rest. See you in the morning."