Title: The ARK Angels of DX and the Paranoid Android
Author: Kaykyaka
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the WWE and TNA characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.
Ratings: K
Characters: Shawn, Cameron and Cheyenne Michaels, Amy 'Lita' Dumas Michaels, Hunter Hurst Helmsley, LC Helmsley, Aurora Rose Helmsley, Chyna, Trish Stratus, Randy Orton, Melina and Johnny Hennigan, Stephanie and Chris Jericho, the RAW and Smackdown Superstars, Charlotte, Dan and Carla McCool, Cassidy and Brandon Montenegro and Miss Taylor, Charlene McKenzie
Summary: Chyna goes to Chris Jericho for help with her problem and his solution affects Hunter and Trish Stratus in a way that has the ARK Angels of DX, Randy Orton and the WWE locker room very concerned.
Chapter Thirteen – Heavy Metal Breakdown
Chris Jericho's apartment, Downtown L.A earlier that day:
Shawn and Amy woke up with the sun blazing in their eyes, it was another hot day in L.A. No strangers to heat themselves the Anointed Couple could handle it, but what they couldn't handle was the pounding headache they both had.
"My head is killing me," Shawn said holding his forehead getting to his feet.
"Mine is too," Amy said crawling out of bed reaching for her dress but she didn't want to let go of her forehead just in case her brain fell out. Shawn pulled on his pants and his shirt while Amy barely got her dress over her head. Shawn came over to help her, they somehow managed to put their shoes on and leave the room.
"What gives Amy?" Shawn asked his wife as they walked to the kitchen slowly both resting their heads on each other.
"I don't know but it feels like I've got a safe on my head," Amy replied. They found the kitchen table and sat down, the man they both came to see was standing in front of the sink with his arms folded with an expression on his face that told them he was not at all happy to see them.
"Hello Chris," Shawn said sarcastically and Jericho huffed.
"That's nice Shawn, bring sarcasm into my home like I need another reason to dislike you," Jericho said.
"Why do you dislike me anyway?" Shawn asked.
"You come over uninvited with Aurora and now my beautiful wife is gonna spend the whole day with her," Jericho complained.
"And that's bad because . . . ?" Shawn asked confused.
"Because I don't need another reminder of Hunter thank you very much, if I want to think about Hunter all I need to do is remove this eye patch!" Jericho said angrily and Amy and Shawn put their hands up in protest.
"No, please don't take the eye patch off," Amy said.
"I actually think you look good with an eye patch, how many of those do you have anyway?" Shawn asked and Jericho rolled his eye.
"I like the glittery pink one," Amy said and Jericho had heard enough.
"Why don't you guys just tell me what you're doing here?" he asked.
"We wanted to compare you with Stephanie to see who was the nicest," Amy replied, "Its gotta be Stephanie right babe?" Amy asked her husband.
"Oh no doubt it's Stephanie by a landslide," Shawn replied and Jericho banged his hand on the counter angrily.
"That's it get out!" he yelled at Shawn and Amy and the Anointed Couple got to their feet at once.
"You know very well why we're here Jericho!" Shawn yelled then he held his head and sat back down and so did Amy.
"What the Hell's the matter with you?" Chris Jericho asked them.
Shawn turned to Amy, "He can't feel it, it's just us," he said.
"But why?" Amy replied and then she started to remember the last time they were together in Chris Jericho's house and grabbed HBK's leg hard.
"What is it?" he asked her.
"This is the house where we died, when my father attacked us with a sledgehammer and then we went up to Heaven and spoke to Jesus," Amy told him, "do you remember?"
Shawn thought back to that time and then it all came flooding back, "When we came back to Earth he was dead, we didn't even go to the funeral," Shawn said.
"And there was one more thing we didn't do," Amy said, "We didn't cleanse this house of my father's dead spirit,"
"Do you think that's what could be causing the headaches?" Shawn asked.
"I'm pretty sure it is," Amy replied.
"You guys aren't gonna start making furniture move around are you?" Jericho said as Shawn and Amy got to their feet.
"We'll deal with you later," Shawn said holding his wife's hand and together they prayed for the unholy spirit of Amy's dead father to come out of Chris Jericho's apartment. Jericho watched skeptically from the side until a black shape whooshed across the kitchen and hung up in the air over Shawn and Amy. The Anointed Couple's hair lashed out in red hot licks and their eyes burned like fire, they squeezed their hands together and the temperature in Jericho's kitchen rose to an unfathomable level.
"GET OUT IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST!" they roared and the apparition smashed through the kitchen window and Shawn and Amy ran after it. With the power of the Holy Spirit they pulled it back from wherever it was heading and held it in the air until it couldn't withstand the heat and dissipated right in front of them. Moments later their Righteous Indignation backed off and their headaches were gone. Jericho shook his head in amazement at their power, together they were even more dangerous to satan's minions then when they were apart.
"Wow," he said clapping his hands impressed, "that was pretty good you guys, next time I need a demon exorcised I'll know just who to call,"
Shawn and Amy gave Jericho a stern look of disapproval, "You think this is entertainment? You think God gave us these powers for your applause? God's Righteousness is serious business Jericho and anyone or thing that doesn't get that is either gonna get right or get burned," Amy said.
"Which brings us to why we came to see you," Shawn said sitting back down around the kitchen table while Amy raided the refrigerator; the exorcism of her father's spirit had given her baby quite an appetite. Shawn motioned for Jericho to join him around the table and given what Jericho had just witnessed he thought it best not to refuse him and took a seat.
"Let me guess, you wanna talk about the dog?" Jericho said.
"Why did you make it? Shawn asked.
"Well technically I didn't create it I amended it, before I put in its heart it was just another expensive robot dog that I got from Japan," Jericho said.
"And after you "amended it" it turned into a malicious device that caused Hunter to go back on his plans to have LC and Cameron betrothed and smash his daughter's windmill with his sledgehammer," Shawn said annoyed and Jericho raised an eyebrow.
"Aurora's got a windmill?" he asked.
"Not the point Jericho," Amy said joining her husband at the kitchen table with a huge sandwich in her hand.
"Did you bless that sandwich before you took a bite?" Shawn asked her and Jericho shot him an offended look.
"Of course," Amy replied.
"Look just because your father's dead spirit was living in my home it doesn't mean I'm the Anti-Christ," Jericho said.
"We're not saying you're the Anti-Christ Jericho but you're not impressing God with what you've done I can tell you that," Shawn said.
"I wanted to help Joanie because I agree with her; if LC and Cameron want to get married they should come to that decision without any input from you. I'm sorry about the windmill though I never thought Hunter would do something like that," Jericho said and Shawn leaned over the table towards Jericho and Y2J could still see the fire of his Righteous Indignation burning in his eyes.
"That's just the point isn't it Jericho? Hunter didn't destroy Aurora's windmill, that dog made him do that and now Aurora has this image in her head of her father – the man that's supposed to love her and protect her destroying something she loves!" Shawn said and Jericho leaned forward.
"I have an image burning in my head too Shawn, it's the image of my eye being taken out by shards of glass flying through the air because of an electric wheelchair that Hunter threw through a glass window towards me. I'm sure you have images Shawn, images of your wife betraying you with one of your best friends for example. We all have traumatic moments in life, even the supernatural Aurora Rose can't avoid that," Jericho said.
"Aurora will get another windmill, just like I got another wife," he said looking at Amy and she smiled back at him, "A wife that God setup for me to have long before I even met her, even Rebecca knew that and she couldn't be happier for the both of us and our unborn child. See whatever we hang onto we lose eventually because God wants us to hang onto Him because He knows what's best,"
"You hang onto your hatred of Hunter because you're still hanging onto your left eye and that's why you created that evil robot, Chyna just gave you an opportunity to exert your revenge and you took it," Amy said then she got up and sat next to Chris Jericho and put her hand on his shoulder, "But I tell you right now if you were to forgive Hunter and put all that mess behind you and move on for good, your left eye would grow back just like that," Amy said snapping her fingers.
"Just like that?" Jericho said snapping his fingers.
"Just like that," Amy said snapping her fingers again, "Jesus said if you have faith the size of a mustard seed you can move mountains. Why don't you move your mountain now Jericho and forgive Hunter for what he did to you?"
Jericho sighed looking down at his hands, "You know God's given me a lot of new things too, He's given me Stephanie and a set of twins but everytime I look in the mirror I feel like something's missing," he said pointing to his left eye, "When I think back to what happened I get so mad that the very idea that Hunter is still walking on this Earth makes me feel like God doesn't care about me. Until that feeling goes away I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive him,"
"So you're more than happy to see Hunter's family, friends and co-workers put through Hell because you can't let go is that what you're telling me Chris?" Shawn said indignantly.
"You're a smart guy Shawn I'm sure you'll be able to pick up the pieces when Hunter goes completely nuts," Jericho said and Shawn frowned.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Shawn asked folding his arms across his chest.
"Well so far Rex really hasn't caused Hunter to do any real damage, apart from breaking poor little Ro-Ro's heart," Jericho said mockingly pretending to cry and Shawn clenched his fists, "but I think the fun and games are gonna come to an end very soon,"
"Look just tell us how to turn off the dog," Amy said firmly.
"And ruin the big finish, I don't think so," Jericho said getting up.
"What big finish what are you talking about?" Amy asked irritated.
"Yeah be more specific," Shawn said.
"Get out, is that specific enough for you?" Jericho replied and went upstairs leaving the Anointed Couple to burn with Righteous Indignation in Jericho's kitchen. A loud guitar riff thundered through the house causing Amy and Shawn to seize up and Jericho made his feelings towards them very clear.
"Get out-get out, get-out-get out, get out of my house right NOW!" he sang very badly and Shawn and Amy left his apartment not because he told them to but because his singing was so awful.
"I wanna know what this "big finish" is," Shawn said his cheeks throbbing with anger.
"I do too honey but I couldn't stay in that place one minute longer," Amy said trying to get the hearing back in her ears.
"Should we set the place on fire?" Shawn asked her and she shook her head.
"No," she replied and gave Shawn a mischievous grin, "but I don't think God would mind if we gave him a little warning," she said and Shawn nodded knowing what she meant. They held hands and their Righteous Indignation flared up and set Chris Jericho's guitar on fire. Jericho tried to put it out but it wouldn't stop burning: this was no average fire he was dealing with. Finally he threw it out the back window into the pool but the water didn't extinguish the flame and the guitar continued to burn. It was a warning and Jericho resented it very much. He ran outside to give the Anointed Couple a piece of his mind but by the time he got there they were gone.
"Very funny you guys, we'll see who's laughing when Rex is gets through with Hunter!" he yelled down the street and a loud whoosh sent Jericho to the back of the apartment where the fire had spread from the guitar to the whole pool. He was pretty sure that meant the Anointed Couple were mad at him but it didn't mean he wasn't gonna go through with his plan to hijack Hunter's mind and turn it upside down.