(Chapter Thirteen)

Dee Dee continued to hold onto Mark, her body quaking as she continued through her tears. "It was dark...and cold. My baby...needed me. I couldn't get...to him. Couldn't save him. No one...could. I couldn't find him. I couldn't...find my...baby. He was crying. Calling...me. He so was scared. Alex and Rick...they weren't there...to help me. No one...helped me." She heaved a ragged sigh as Mark held her tighter. "I heard someone...call my name. They took... my hand. It was you. That's when you...woke me up." She gently pulled herself away to look into Mark's eyes. "Thank you...for being here."

"You're welcome. I'm so glad that I was here for you...that you weren't alone."

"Me, too."

Mark took a tissue from the bedside table and wiped Dee Dee's tears as she had begun to calm down. "Hold on a second." He stood and went into the bathroom to get a cool wet washcloth. When he returned, her gently wiped her face and neck with it to offer some comfort.

"Thank you." Dee Dee said, gratefully.

"You're welcome. Can I get you something to drink?"

Dee Dee shook her head. "No, that's okay."

"Do you want to talk some more?"

"Not right now." Dee Dee replied with a moderate sigh. "Mark, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For disturbing you and having you come in to check on me."

"Dee Dee, please don't feel that you ever have to apologize. I told you that I'm here for you. I care about you and I want to help you."

"I just feel like I need to be able to take care of myself, but I can't."

"I think you're doing the best you can and at some point, you'll be stronger. I know you will. You have to believe that, too."

Dee Dee nodded. "I know what you're saying, but sometimes I feel like I'm going to die. I wish I had died instead of my baby."

"It saddens me to hear you say that, but I can understand that you would feel that way. I imagine any loving parent would say the same. We can't rush ourselves into healing, and we can't allow others to try and tell us how to grieve. No two people suffer or heal in the same way, so it's going to be on your time, no one else's."

"Yeah, I know. But it just hurts so much."

"And it will for a long time."

Dee Dee thought about Mark hurting from finding that his ex-girlfriend had been cheating on him. "I know that you're still suffering, too. I know you'll make it through, though."

"Thank you. We'll both make it." Mark smiled. "Are you feeling a little better?"

"I guess."

"Do you think you can sleep? If you want to keep talking, that's fine."

"I appreciate it, but I'll try to rest."

"Okay. You know where I am if you need me. Sleep well."

"Thank you." Dee Dee slipped down between the covers. "You sleep well, too."

Mark left the room and Dee Dee turned off the lamp. Though she still hadn't known him for long at all, she felt that she had known him for ages and felt truly fortunate to have him looking after her.

When Mark went into his room, he sat on the bed and thought of how much Dee Dee's been through and wondered what more she would go through. He'd never felt so close to any other woman so quickly, including his ex-girlfriend. He felt that it was his duty to continue to protect her and wanted all the strength possible to help him see it through.

...

Rick forced himself to get dressed for work. The night had been a harsh one on him mentally, and he was still suffering for it. There was no sleeping for him, and though his heart had been twisted by anguish, he knew his could never compare to Dee Dee's.

"Hunter!" Charlie called from behind Rick.

Rick snapped of out his daze as he turned to see him coming down the hall. "Yeah?"

"What? You losing your hearing? I called you twice back there." Charlie said with a chuckle. "Something's got ahold of your thoughts for sure. What is it?"

Though Rick didn't admit it to Charlie, his mind was so preoccupied that he didn't even recall getting from his house to the station. "I uh...was thinking of the Harkins case."

"Yeah? Making any progress?"

"Not really." Rick sighed.

"Well, hopefully more will come up before too long."

Rick nodded. "Yeah."

"You sure you're okay? I mean, I know with Dee Dee's loss, it's been rough on us all. I'm still finding it all hard to believe With you and she being so close, I know it's really cutting through you."

"It's completely unbelievable to me, Charlie."

"Have you talked to her, today?" Charlie asked.

Rick felt his chest tightening as he fought off telling Charlie what happened the night before. "No. I'll check on her during lunch."

"Okay. I'll give her a call later."

Rick though of telling Charlie that Dee Dee wouldn't be at her mother's, that she was staying with Mark. He quickly decided that by saying something and Dee Dee finding out, may put him at even a greater distance from her. He'd let Anna fill him in. "I guess I should get to my desk and try to catch up on some work."

After Charlie admitted that he needed to do the same, the two parted ways.

Rick found it hard to concentrate as his mind was mainly focused on Dee Dee and what had transpired between them last night. He wished the time would pass more quickly beyond the early morning hours so he could call Mark to ask how she was doing. When it was 10:30am, he lost his patience and dialed Mark's home phone number.

"Hello?"

"Mark, it's Rick. How are you?"

"Hi, Rick. I'm okay. You?"

"I've been better." Rick sighed. "How's Dee Dee?"

"She had a pretty rough night. She hasn't come downstairs, yet, so I haven't talked to her this morning."

"What happened last night?"

Mark was hesitant to discuss too much about Dee Dee, unsure of how she'd feel about it, especially knowing that he'd be telling Rick. "She just couldn't sleep for a while, but she managed."

"I see." Rick replied. "I don't want to upset her, so don't tell her I called, okay?"

"Okay."

"Thanks. I'll call back later. If I can do something...if she even hints about wanting to talk to me, please let me know."

"I will."

Rick sat at his desk for several minutes, wondering when Dee Dee would ever speak to him again. Wondering if she would ever speak to him again. Knowing that he'd caused her such pain made him miserable and he didn't know what to do to ease either of their pain. He never imagined that something like this could take place...that she could actually feel such hatred toward him. He could only hope that it was temporary, that once her pain began to lessen she'd realize that she was his heart and that he would do anything to keep her from suffering. In her eyes, he hadn't done that and it was killing the both of them.

The years they've shared have brought them heartache and misery, but they managed to push through it. This was something different. This was tearing them apart instead of bringing them together. There was no depending on one another like in the past because you can't depend on someone you hate, and you can't offer your support to someone who hates you. Hate. Such a small but powerful and hurtful word. One that the two had never used toward one another and knew that they never could. Now, it has been used by Dee Dee to express how she now felt about him.

Would there ever be a moment where the word would once again have no association with their relationship?

...

(Continued...)