So there I was in therapy again. Well, at least my therapist wasn't crazier than me. I think… He flinched and twitched when I looked his way. Great… Another Tweak! God if Craig could read my mind I'd be dead meat for saying that… Or thinking that. My new freaky therapist flipped through his scrap and then straightened it out on his lap. He held it up backwards in front of me with a solid expression on his face. I looked at him skeptically. Did he know he was holding the scrapbook backwards?

"Ok, M-Margaret… What's t-this?" He asked shaking a little. I felt sorry for the guy… He's the one who needed therapy. Where was South Park getting their therapist from, crazy town? No way had these loons got their PHDs from any college in the universe! At least not a very good college… I stared up at him impatiently. I was fine; I didn't need any more crazy therapists who were trying to kill me! I had Kenny already trying to do that anyway….

"I think you're holding it backward Dr…." I stopped to read the slanted name card on the left pocket of his plaid shirt. It looked like it said Dr. Pepper. Are you shitting me! He nervously glanced at the name card and dropped his scrapbook on the ground to adjust it. "Is that really your name?" I asked sounding like a condescending little bitch. I couldn't help it. I already had Dr. Crazy… Stu Crazy! He chuckled a little and I raised my eyebrow in mere skepticism.

"Oh that's not my real name!" He exclaimed smiling at me. He was pretty cute when he smiled… Really cute! I might like my new therapy session…. "I took my wife's last name…" Dammit! I felt my heart sink in my chest and blocked out everything else he said after that. Shit, was he still talking!

"Ok, so let's get back to the session!" He said quickly trembling while he reached for his scrapbook on the ground. "Wait, what did you say after the part about you taking your wife's last name instead of your own?" I said extending a hand to stop him. And if we touch hands and had a romantic long look inside each other's eyes that would be a bonus! Hey, I'm supposed to be getting over Butters… At least, he was helping with that. Now all I need to do is get him to divorce his wife… No bad Maggie!

"Well it's a long story, I'm a Crazy!" He exclaimed in such a proud voice complete with a cynical eye roll that I didn't know whether I should laugh or not. What the fuck? I just stared at him in shock and horror. Dammit, I'm dead if Jessica or Shelley or both didn't bust down that door right now and safe me. At this point, I was contemplating my chances of escape. Door or window?

"I got my PHD, in fact, I was supposed to be your original therapist, but my brother got in here somehow and locked me in that closet." He said so calmly now he was scaring me! My new Dr. Crazy pointed to a closet on the other side of the room facing in the opposite direction of his desk. Damn, I though this room looked familiar! I felt like an idiot… As usual! But Wait! The room wasn't that big, but I recall not hearing anybody trapped in a closet… And I would know what that's like. But I was mostly screaming because I was trapped in there for an hour with a stray dog Shelley brought home who wasn't too friendly. He actually reminded me of my little dog Sonny because he had very sharp teeth and not a good temper… How I wasn't dead yet was truly astonishing.

"You probably didn't notice because I was hiding from my brother, he's getting therapy now!" He said quickly. That wasn't what I was most concerned about… He could have Killed me! "He wouldn't have killed you, he's like a gentle giant… Except with a bad temper!" He exclaimed coughing. How the hell did that work? I just stared at him for answers. Not that I was getting any… Any answers that is… Because something fucked up would surely happen any minute now! I squeezed my eyes shut to prepare myself for being tackled to the ground or something like that. I must've looked like that crazy one right now! As it should be…

"What are you doing Margaret; you don't have to close yourself off to me and Mr. Squirrelly here!" He said and I took a sigh of relief… But stopped half-way out. Mr. Squirrelly? I slowly and reluctantly opened my eyes after a few second of trying to retreat deep within my mind. Stupid reality? But when I opened my eyes, I just saw him grinning at me with a sock puppet on his left hand. It… sorta looked like a squirrel! I mean, it was a brown sock with a string tail taped to its back, foam ears which were colored with brown marker as I could see, and three buttons for the eyes and a nose, and two buck teeth with a line for the upper and lower lip drawn where a mouth would be in black marker. It was definitely unique!

"Now Maggie were you ever bullied?" He said in a weird squeaky voice that was clearly coming out of him and not Mr. Squirrelly. He didn't even get the lip sinking right! I looked dead at him, but I was surprised by the question. "Why would you ask me that?" I said in my defense. I didn't have a problem with answering him of course, but it was kind of considered personal. At least to me, and that made me uncomfortable. He may have been drop-dead dangerously sexy, but he had no right to… O right! I noticed he was wagging a finger at me until he finely got my attention.

"That was Mr. Squirrelly question, not mine!" He said quickly. I looked into his eyes, but there was no sign of a joke in there. Oh well, at least he wasn't trying to kill me. So I would just go along with it…

"O sorry!" I said quickly hoping he wouldn't hear my sarcasm. I guess it was a habit for me to be sarcastic and an altogether condescending asshole at times like these. Oh wait, I was always a sarcastic and condescending asshole… According to Stan… That's right, Stan! I quickly glanced from my new Dr. Crazy to his mutated squirrel. It honestly looked like an overgrown rodent, but I didn't say anything.

"You know why I'm here right Mr. Squirrelly? It's not because I'm being bullied at my college or anything, it's because I kissed my…this kid's boyfriend!" I quickly explained. I was going to call Kenny "my friend" but then I decided against it. I couldn't really call that bastard a friend. More like an unfortunate acquaintance! A very unfortunate acquaintance!

"And why did you kiss this guy's boyfriend?" The new doctor Crazy said very calmly and sympathetically. Jeez, he wasn't kidding when he said he got his PHD in therapy. He was actually… A normal therapist! I instantly glanced at the weird puppet again. Well, probably as close to normal as therapists in South Park could get. I still liked him, even if he was horrible at ventriloquism. All the more reason not to take it up as a profession! I opened my mouth to speak, but he interrupted me. God dammit, I hope he wasn't going to say anything stupid!

"Did you think that you could transform him?" He asked skeptically and sympathetically. He used the voice a grown-up would use in talking to a child. Of course! I gave him a pretty weird look, because of his choice of words. "Transform"? Transform Butters? I wouldn't dream of it? The Butters right now was perfect. Perfect!

"What?" I exclaimed trying to look at him. Well not really… My eyes were glued to the squirrel so I could be mad at him. Looking at his smexy face wouldn't help anything… Seriously! He whistled at me like an owner calling his dog. Ok, probably a bad simile. I immediately looked at him, but felt nothing for him… He was just my insane therapist I wanted to get away from now. Yep, it's that simple. I'm glad that was over with!

"Eyes up here!" My therapist exclaimed. I just sat back in my chair looking up at him. How long was this session anyway? I couldn't help glance up at the clock. Namely, because I wanted to. Then, there was a sharp pain against my face. I fall over and barely picked myself up before I did a face plant into the ground. When I looked up I saw which hand he smacked me with. It was the hand Mr. Squirrelly was on! I don't know why I was so shocked… he was related to Stu Crazy.

"Uh-hum!" He coughed and sat back down in his chair as I slowly got up and sat in my chair. There was no talking for a few minutes while he pretended to be checking things in his blank scrapbook and whispering things to Mr. Squirrelly that I assume were about me.

I think now might be a good time for a flashback…

*Flashback of that yesterday at my house*

"Maggie, we were all talking about this ever since last week when your therapist tried to commit suicide and severely injured himself!" My dad exclaimed like it was nothing new. I tried not to roll my eyes. Scott looked at me skeptically and I did roll my eyes in response to his skeptical gaze.

"Maggie take this seriously, we all love you and want to help you!" Craig spoke up and I knew he was being sarcastic. I glared at him as the rest of the guys let outta little snicker… Except for Butters. I was really getting sick of everyone thinking I was being crazy so I just complied with their wishes. I'll pay them all back later… And that's sarcasm!

"Ok." I said smirking. I only had four more days here anyway…

"You already have an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow at four." My dad smiled at me like I really appreciated what he was doing for me. They were all treating me like I seriously had psychological problems ever since I kissed Butters! That was not cool... I don't know how I would be able to forgive them…

*Flashback ends*

Seriously I don't know how I could forgive these people… Who were my family… Dammit!

I looked up at Dr. Crazy who was patiently staring back at me with an interesting twinkle in his eye. That's right I said twinkle deal with it!

"What did you see?" He asked in an astonished voice like a little kid in a trance. Why did that not surprise me? I looked at him skeptically for a few seconds before I realized that he must've been referring to my flashback mode. He just had to look up at me during my flashback mode. That was embarrassing! Yeah, I was embarrassing! Not him, he was perfect… And that was real sarcasm!

"O, um, I was just…" My voice trailed off as I looked for the right words instead of just saying "I was going into one of my flashback modes". You know, something that would make my seem less crazy! "Reminiscing!" Yeah…

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Reminiscing about what?" He asked me getting ready to write something down in his scrapbook. I stared at the blank page for a while before responding. I really didn't know how to respond to that!

"You asked me if I was bullied right?" I asked trying to change the subject. It was a pretty weak attempt if I do say so myself, and I did, but he went along with it. Or actually forget about what we were talking about. Whatever, I was happy!

"I didn't, Mr. Squirrelly did!" I told me strictly as he pointed from himself to the puppet on his hand. I stared at Mr. Squirrelly who was looking back at me with his black button eyes and stupid buck teeth. Then I look at my therapist with nice sea green eyes and perfect white teeth. How could someone so gorgeous by so crazy? Moving on, I smiled and slowly nodded.

"So you were bullied?" He asked like it was the rarest thing in the world. He sounded truly amazed and kind of like a little kid who was happy with being right. One of the reasons I kept comparing him to a kid was because he was acting like a kid, was because he reminded me of Stan… But with abs!

I sighed and crossed my legs while avoiding his gaze for a few seconds to prepare myself for telling him. "I wasn't bullied that much… Just by my sister. Well, it was the whole school really, except for my friend…" My voice trailed off as I thought about those years for the first time in a few weeks. Come to think of it, Shelley was the reason that I got bullied a lot, calling me… What was it, "BachTurd"? Yeah, I'm pissed at her for that… I really wish she'd apologize, but, come on, it's Shelley!

I balled up my fists and look back at the ground in fury. I really wanted to kill somebody right now! Or at least hit something! Maybe both! I looked up at Dr. Crazy again a few seconds after. He was staring at me and nodding sympathetically at me along with Mr. Squirrelly. This was going to be a long therapy session… Though I only had an half an hour left…