A Gossamer Cage

Part 3 – Battle (3.4)

Spencer Reid was having a hard time settling back into any kind of routine. It felt bizarre to be back in Virginia in his small, one bedroom apartment. The work he'd produced while in the attic was in boxes against his bedroom wall. He hadn't felt the need to pull it out. The pictures, books and other minutia of his life that Hal had gathered for him was back in place before he'd ever even set foot in the apartment. Gideon's luggage was against the far wall of the small living room, and the bedding for the couch was folded neatly in one corner of the said piece of furniture. Having Cat wandering around only added to the surreal feeling.

But what really struck him was the noise. Traffic from outside, jets overhead, people talking, and all the other white noise of living in the city. At first, he just stayed in his room, headphones on, listening to classical music and reading. But Gideon was persistently after him to eat. At least the man was quiet. He didn't really force him to talk all the time, and the quiet of the apartment eventually became somewhat peaceful and slightly less abrasive. But it still was driving Reid nuts to have a roommate, and Gideon was showing no signs of leaving.

Spencer got it, he really did. Even before his appointments with the FBI Psychiatrist, Dr. Reynolds started, he'd understood. He'd been alone for a long time in that attic. He needed to be able to live in the world again, and it would take time. But he'd been naturally solitary by necessity most of his live, so it wasn't it was unusual for him to be by himself. Even working at the BAU, he'd spent much of his free time by himself. They all had their lives outside of the bureau.

Gideon was also a slave driver about getting Reid to go outside. Everyday they walked to Reid's favorite coffee shop for a morning latte. The staff was delighted to see him back, and Gideon clearly knew everybody well. Spencer was pleased that they remembered him, but it still felt raw and too much. He was always glad to get back to the apartment.

The one really nice thing was that he didn't have to take the metro into Washington for his appointments at Quantico. Gideon always drove. Reid didn't argue. He wasn't sure he could handle the metro right now. And even he wasn't stupid enough to get behind the wheel of a car right now. That was disaster waiting to happen. One blare of somebody's horn would probably send him right off the road.

He did occasionally snap. He'd always had a temper, like most people, but he just always hid it better. He usually had pretty good control over it as well. But now? Not so much. A loud noise, or even just Gideon's unending calm would irritate him to the point that he'd snap back with some angry comment. He just couldn't help it. That feeling of irrational anger bothered him.

He did ask once about going out to Gideon's cabin, thinking that the silence and lack of crowds provided by the woods would help him feel more in control. Reid knew the man still owned the property. Spencer wouldn't admit it, but he'd driven out there a time or two in the time since Gideon had left. It would have been a perfect place to stay right now. Quiet, peaceful. And Gideon could have stayed there too. But Jason just dismissed the thought without even a word, and went back to the book he'd been reading at the time Reid had brought it up.

All of the members of the BAU team dropped by often. Singly or in groups. They'd come with board games, or cards, or just a cup of gourmet coffee for Spencer. If it was meal time Gideon would add an extra plate at the table, and they'd have an impromptu dinner guest. Since Jason's cooking was legendary, the visits became more and more often at meal time, and statistically improbable for a 'drop by just to see how you were doing' visit. It was nice to see them, but Reid felt like he was separated by an invisible wall from the action. An outsider looking in. But he'd felt that all of his life, so he dismissed it, and kept his own counsel.

Sometimes, one or another would try to talk to him about Hal. Reid was an expert at deflection, and he always turned the subject. He didn't want to discuss Hal. He didn't want to think about him. Hal still confused him.

The only thing he found amusing these days was watching Gideon and Cat. Cat loved Spencer (and the sentiment was returned), and was indifferent to everybody else. Other humans were there only to open doors, open cat food, and provide furniture to sleep on. Otherwise, they just didn't exist for Cat. All except Gideon. For whatever reason, Cat detested Gideon. Gideon would have just ignored the feline, except Cat made it clear that wherever Jason wanted to sit, that was the piece of furniture he wanted. Reid found it pretty amusing, and would watch silently as the battle would commence. It was the only living creature that Spencer had ever seen get the better of the older man.

So Reid drifted from day to day, waiting for the time when he had his apartment back to himself, and when he could occupy his mind by getting back to work.

CM CM CM CM

The bullpen was quiet, with an energy humming as the various agents, absorbed in their work, took no note of the comings and goings of extraneous staff. Gideon smiled slightly as he came through the glass doors. Heads down, and focused, Prentiss and Morgan made no motion of even noticing he'd come in. Respecting their concentration, Jason made his way quietly up the steps to the catwalk, to Hotch's office. Tapping lightly on the frame of the open door, he walked in as Hotch looked up and gestured him in. Rossi followed closed on his heels, causing Gideon to start – he hadn't even know he was there.

"Reid?" Rossi asked quietly.

Gideon just nodded, taking a seat on the couch. Rossi closed the door and leaned back against it, crossing his arms. Hotch sat back, watching the older man in anticipation.

"Dr. Reynolds thinks it's time he came back to work."

Both active agents blinked at that.

"You're kidding," Rossi blurted.

Hotch was more restrained, but his sentiment was the same. "Is he sure?"

Gideon waved them quiet. "Oh, I know. It's only been five weeks. He has the same reservations. But it's a trade off. Something has to be done to get Spencer interacting with people again. He doesn't want him to be alone, and he needs to be around more people than just me. Reynolds feels that this team is strong enough to both support and control Reid at the same time, while being able to make use of his skills. I assured him that that was the case, and that we've always taken care of our own. Was I wrong?"

Hotch shook his head. "No. I'm just not sure I trust Reid in the field."

"I agree," Gideon nodded. "Dr. Reynolds does as well. He stated clearly that he would be cleared for research only. If it's a case in the field, he goes with the team, but stays back at whatever base you're located at, working with the locals and with Garcia. Essentially, the same we would do with any agent with PTSD."

"What about hotel arrangements," Hotch asked. "That could be a problem if Dr. Reynolds still doesn't want Reid to be alone."

"No, we talked about that. He made it clear to be sure that Spencer's hotel room would always be between two of our team, but he felt that having his own room might be beneficial on a trip like that."

Rossi was nodding. "I can't say that I wouldn't be happier having him under our eyes."

"Agreed," Hotch said firmly. "So when should he come back?"

"Reynolds thought the sooner the better, so Monday."

"Okay," Hotch nodded thoughtfully, then looked up at Gideon. "So what about you, Jason? What are your plans now that Reid will be easing back into his normal routine?"

"Exactly what I told you at the hospital. I'm not leaving again. I'm in the unique position in that I'm both a profiler, and retired. And I have no intentions of moving out of Reid's apartment until I'm sure he's all right. And he's not even close."

"And how's that working out?" Rossi asked dryly.

Jason snorted. "I'm driving him crazy. But I think anybody would right now. Be prepared for a lot of silence, alternated with a lot of attitude."

"Great," Rossi sighed. "Teenage rebellion in a genius. This ought to be interesting."

"What does Reid want?" Hotch asked.

"Reid doesn't know what he wants," Gideon answered wryly.

Hotch nodded thoughtfully. "What about the counseling sessions?"

"Dr. Reynolds wants to up them to three times a week when the team is in the office. When you're in the field, he wants you to keep in close contact."

Hotch just nodded. No problems there. "Physical Therapy?"

"Tapering off. Probably still once a week for a while," Gideon responded.

"Good." Rossi moved to sit down in one of the guest chairs. "Anything else we need to know?"

"Basically that the isolation, and Hal for that matter, just heightened his insecurities about his place in the team, and with people in general. Just like we had concluded. And you're comment about 'teenage rebellion'? It likely isn't too far off the mark. Dr. Reynolds commented that this situation has brought out issues of self-esteem that most people deal with in High School, and that very likely Reid never has. He was too young when he was in high school, and at the age most kids are grappling with that, he was working on his second PHD."

That got an amused snort from both men as they nodded thoughtfully. It made sense.

"He also said that if this were anybody else but Reid, or any other team besides this one, he wouldn't even consider putting him back to work. But he feels that this is the best place for him, and that he expects to be kept abreast of any problems sooner rather than later."

At that, the three began to map out tasks for Reid, and a plan for the future. As Gideon had said, they took care of their own, and it would be good to have some control again.

CM CM CM CM

Reid had been surprised when he didn't see Gideon in the waiting room, and was told by the receptionist to meet him in the BAU office. The loosening of the leash relieved his mind some. He knew that the older man was just watching out for him, but Spencer had been used to a lot of solitude, and he missed it. Having somebody living in his apartment felt chafing. In addition, all of the team members were still dropping by pretty regularly. Gideon's cooking didn't hurt. It sometimes felt like he had a revolving door on his apartment.

Wandering slowly through the hallway towards the elevator, he contemplated going outside for a walk, or going to the library, or just to the cafeteria to be by himself. He shelved that idea pretty quickly. All that would inspire was worried team members, when he didn't show up in the reasonable time it took to get from Dr. Reynold's office up to the BAU, a search, then disapproval, followed by more supervision. He was frustrated, but he wasn't stupid. And he really objected to the babysitting. He'd been taking care of himself for a long time before he joined the BAU. He just couldn't see why the others didn't seem to get that.

He thought about his last appointment with Dr. Reynolds. The man was trying to get him to discuss Hal, or Cummings, as he called him. Reid had told him flat out that he didn't want to talk about it. The doctor had let it go, but Reid knew it would come up again. He'd deal with it then. Now, he didn't want to think about it.

The elevator ride was quick, and after pushing through the doors to the BAU, he shoved his hands deep into his pockets, and took stock of the bullpen. He hadn't been here for over a year, and it felt odd. He was out of place in a place that used to feel so right. Standing just inside the doors, he saw his desk, neat for a change, but ready for him. His name plate was still there. He wasn't sure why that surprised him so much. Most people forget a useful tool when it was out of commission. They compensated in other ways and moved on.

The door opening, then the lack of movement caught Morgan's attention and he looked up with a frown. That quickly changed to a huge grin. "Hey! Pretty boy, it's great to see you!"

Prentiss jerked her head up, and a wide grin broke over her face as she jumped to her feet, seconds after Morgan. "Reid! Hi! We didn't know you were coming in today."

Other faces looked up and called greetings, and Spencer felt compelled to move by the attention. He made his way reluctantly over to his desk where his team mates were waiting expectantly, a tight smile thinning his lips. He really hated being the center of attention, and especially now that he was so confused about where he stood with people.

He just shrugged. "I was told to meet Gideon up here," he said quietly.

Morgan hitched a hip on the edge of his desk, delighted to see Reid in the bullpen again. Prentiss was enthusiastic as well.

"Gideon? When did he come in?" She looked confused.

Reid shrugged again. "Guess he's with Hotch," he jutted his chin toward the closed office.

Morgan just looked up, saw the activity in the Unit Chief's office. "Huh. Wonder what that's all about."

"Probably talking about me coming back to work."

"Really?" Prentiss was delighted. "When?"

"Monday, I guess."

"Hey, that's great," Morgan grinned. "We'll be able to solve our cases faster with you back on the job!"

"I'll say. That's wonderful, Reid!"

Reid cringed to himself. Great. The useful tool was back again. He was saved a reply when Hotch's door opened, and Gideon and Rossi stepped out.

"Ready to go?" Gideon asked.

Reid just nodded, and headed over to meet him.

"We'll see you Monday, kid," called Morgan.

Reid just turned with an awkward wave, and headed out the door behind Jason, glad to be gone.