This chapter may annoy some but it is needed for the one after... ;)
Lorraine took a deep breath before entering the lounge. Composing herself. Lola might still be there, the laughter she could hear from Zeb and Sonya could be nervous giggles as Nikki is asking Lola to leave. Lorraine wiped the smile from her face, she knew how it felt to lose a girl like Nikki and she didn't want to be in Lola's cheap shoes right now. She bit her lip and walked through slowly peering around the wall before making her way in. Ugh. Lola WAS still there. Smiling. Why was she smiling? Surely even she isn't that nice to sit there all happy after someone had broken up with her... Lorraine's eyes widened as Lola leant towards Nikki and kissed the end of her nose playfully. Nikki just smiled. She didn't ask her to get off she just fucking smiled. Jealousy rose in Lorraine making her face flush redder than the sole of her Louboutins. She let out an involuntary exasperated sigh letting the others know she was in the room. Nikki instantly looked down guiltily when she saw the hurt in Lorraine's eyes. The same eyes that were so full of love just moments ago.
"Lorraine! Come sit down." Lola poured wine in Lorraine's glass as Lorraine gritted her teeth. Wondering who Lola thought she was telling her to sit down in her own house. Idiot.
"Sorry about our little spat..." Lola smiled apologetically. Then wrapped her arms around Nikki's neck clinging onto her like a monkey in a tree. Lorraine narrowed her eyes at the desperation leaking from every pore of Lola. Every perfect fucking pore.
"Oh don't worry about it." Lorraine forced a smile. She didn't know what sort of game Nikki thought she was playing but Lorraine would not show her that it was getting to her. Staring coldly when the harsh tone forced Nikki to make eye contact.
"Here Lo, I was telling Zeb about your pool. It's alright if we go and have a look isn't it?" Sonya trod carefully. She knew her Sister well enough to sense the anger on her face.
"Do what you want Son." Lorraine downed the wine in her glass.
"Ooh I'll come and have a look too! If that's ok Lorraine?" Lola asked over excitedly.
"Of course it is." Lorraine mimicked Lola's sickly sweet tone.
"Sweet we'll have a skinny dip babes!" Zeb slapped Sonya's backside gently as him, Sonya and Lola all made their way to the pool.
"No! No bare arses in my pool!" Lorraine shouted after them. Knowing it would fall on deaf stoned pissed up ears. She'd get the pool cleaned before she went in it again.
"You not going with them?" Lorraine asked coldly as she refilled her glass.
"You're angry." Nikki rolled her eyes.
"Is that a question or are you telling me how I feel?" Lorraine's barriers were well and truly up. But Nikki could see right through them. She always could.
"I'm sorry..." Nikki placed her hand over Lorraine's.
"Oh careful. Your girlfriend might see you." Lorraine pulled her hand away and stood up. Starting to clear the plates and glasses away.
"Lorraine, what did you expect me to do? Come out here and finish it with Lola immediately because you've clicked your fingers?" Nikki followed Lorraine through to the kitchen.
Lorraine slammed the plates down on the side and spun around to face Nikki.
"I told you I fucking love you and two minutes later you're snuggling up to someone else?" Lorraine's voice is cutting. Her eyes burning into Nikki's. Anger & lust fighting to be seen.
"Have you any idea how confused I am? Last time I saw you, you couldn't even commit to saying you liked me. Now you're suddenly back in my life saying you love me and turning my life upside down. I'm confused Lorraine. I don't know what to do!" Nikki had tears in her eyes. Pleading for Lorraine to understand. Lorraine turned her back to Nikki. She needed to be the strong, unfeeling Lorraine that Nikki always managed to break down.
"Well, I'm gonna make this easier for you. Stay with Lola." Lorraine said casually. As if they were the easiest words in the world to say.
"And that's what you want, yeah?" Nikki stared into the back of Lorraine's head. Willing her to turn around so she could look into her eyes and read what she was thinking.
"I'm going to bed. You can all let yourselves out. See you tomorrow." Lorraine rushed passed Nikki. She needed to get away from her. Her heart ached and she needed to cry it out. Alone. Nikki tried to grab her hand but Lorraine didn't notice, she was already out the door.
-
Lorraine lay on her bed. Tears falling down her cheeks, running black smudged lines along her face. She'd heard Nikki making an excuse for her saying she had a migraine and had to go to bed. She'd just wanted to scream for Nikki to stay. She felt guilty for the way she'd spoken to her. Nikki was caring, genuine and honest. Not the type of person to just throw Lola away at the drop of a hat. Deep down, Lorraine realised this but the jealousy had taken over and as usual she'd pushed Nikki away. All this running through her mind plus the copious amount of wine she'd drank were making her head spin. She slowly sat up and walked onto the balcony. Breathing in and closing her eyes. Imagining Nikki was there beside her but she wasn't and it was hurting. She lit up a cig and looked out to the sea blowing the smoke towards it. Maybe if she blew hard enough Nikki would see her SOS.
Nikki was on Lola's sofa. Making the most of the time alone while Lola was upstairs. So much was going around Nikki's head. She never thought she'd hear those three little words from Lorraine. Ever. She'd craved them for so long and had always stopped herself from saying them to Lorraine while they were together. Scared incase she ran a mile. Which she did in the end anyway. That's the thing with Lorraine. She was dangerous, unpredictable and as much as Nikki hated to admit it to herself, this excited her... Whereas Lola was the complete opposite. Safe. That's what Nikki had felt she needed but now Lorraine had thrown all this in the air and Nikki felt she was slowly getting lost in it all. Not knowing what she was thinking, feeling and wanting. Everytime she closed her eyes she could see Lorraine's face. Looking up at her with wide vulnerable eyes, biting down on her perfect bottom lip and moving closer & closer to Nikki.
"Had a good time tonight." Lola bounced into the living room and sat close to Nikki on the sofa. "Bit rude of Lorraine to not even say bye though. I'm sure she didn't mean to be" Lola smiled at Nikki.
Nikki couldn't help but smile back. She loved this about Lola. Always seeing the best in people. Lorraine had been far from welcoming towards her yet she was oblivious to this. Only choosing to see the good. Maybe if Nikki took things further with Lola, she'd get Lorraine out of her head...
"What? You're looking at me weird. What is-" Lola frowned but was cut off as Nikki quickly pushed her lips against hers. Forcefully. Rushed. As if she needed to do it before she lost her nerve...
TBC.