I want to apologize for the delay. I had a couple of minor health issues that I had to deal with but I am doing fine now. Hopefully, things will be back to semi-normal now. J Anyway, I do hope you enjoy the post and I do hope that my absence hasn't caused too much of an inconvenience to my readers. I appreciate the support and encouragement. Now, for your reading pleasure…
Part 13
Gibbs wheeled into Brad's parking space, thankful that the doctor had a space close to the hospital entrance. He had pushed the car to its limits in an effort to make it back to the hospital before Tony walked out; however, the vehicle wasn't any worse for wear and he had managed to return it in one piece. After his brief conversation with DiNozzo, he realized that he didn't have time to waste if he were going to stop the younger man from leaving against his doctor's advice; once Tony had his mind set on something, it was nearly impossible to dissuade him.
He couldn't blame Tony for being upset; his senior field agent was in a world of hurt and he didn't understand why. Unfortunately, it was up to him to try and reason with DiNozzo; a task that was going to be a challenge. Gibbs had no idea where to begin as he attempted to figure out how to explain to Tony that his father had been keeping a secret from him for years and that particular secret would not only explain the flashbacks he'd been experiencing, but would more than likely force him to remember a part of his life that he had unwittingly buried. The team leader was also going to have to inform DiNozzo that Senior had drugged him in order to keep those resurfacing memories hidden; sometimes it seemed like Tony could never catch a break, especially where his father was concerned.
Deciding not to wait for the elevator, Gibbs took the stairwell and in less than a minute, he was walking down the corridor towards Tony's room. He met Ducky and Brad, who were standing just outside DiNozzo's door. Not bothering with any pleasantries, Gibbs asked, "Is he still here?"
"Yes," Ducky replied. "He's chomping at the bit to leave, but I've seemed to misplace his clothes."
Amused at the ME's deception, he patted Ducky on the shoulder and instructed him to keep looking. Gibbs hoped that he would be able to convince Tony that he needed to stay in the hospital. DiNozzo had always had difficulty acknowledging his limitations, especially when it came to being sick; of course, Gibbs completely understood that aspect of his agent's personality because he was of the same mindset that if you ignored the illness, it would simply go away. Persuading DiNozzo wasn't going to be easy, but he had to try; if Tony still refused to stay, then Gibbs was more than prepared to handle that as well.
He entered Tony's room and found the ailing man sitting on the bed, his arms wrapped around his frame as he struggled against the sporadic tremors that plagued him. Gibbs walked over to the bed and gently grabbed DiNozzo by the shoulders and urged him to lie back down. The fact that Tony didn't offer a protest was evidence enough that he was too sick to even contemplate leaving the hospital yet.
"What do ya think you're doin', DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked as he covered DiNozzo with a blanket, tucking it around his shoulders.
"Waiting on you, Boss," Tony replied, his voice barely audible.
"Well, I'm here."
"Yeah."
Tony's next words were interrupted by another coughing fit, forcing Gibbs to patiently wait him out. When DiNozzo was finished, the team leader poured a cup of water and supported Tony as he thirstily drank. After the younger agent was through drinking, Gibbs set the cup down and lowered him back against his pillow. "You really think you're ready to leave the hospital?" the older man inquired.
"I'll be…fine. Can't rest here," Tony pointed out.
The reason DiNozzo couldn't rest had nothing to do with the hospital or the care he was receiving, but everything to do with the memories that seemed destined to haunt him and the knowledge that his father was at least partially responsible for his current predicament. Gibbs' intense dislike for Tony's dad had now given way to hatred; once again, Senior had made a mess and now the team leader was going to have to pick up the pieces. However, this time there would be no second chances; DiNozzo's father had thrown away the opportunity to be a father and Gibbs was more than willing to step into that role, just like he had been doing for the past ten years.
"So, you gonna tell me what's going on?" DiNozzo wanted to know.
Tony's directness was one of the first things that he had come to appreciate about the former detective. DiNozzo expected honesty, especially from the team leader; Gibbs wanted to protect Tony from the truth about his father, but the Marine wasn't about to risk the trust between them in order to spare his friend the pain that this news would cause. It was going to be difficult, but Tony could handle it; Gibbs would make sure of that.
He pulled up a chair and sat down. "Yep. You sure you're up to this?"
"Doesn't matter if I…am or not; I need to know what's going on."
"Yes you do," the older man agreed. "You deserve to know what's going on."
"So?" Tony wheezed.
"I'm not sure where to start," Gibbs admitted. He wasn't trying stall; he didn't know how he was supposed to tell Tony what he had discovered. The agent had no idea how DiNozzo was going to react, but he couldn't let that deter him from providing his friend with the answers that he so desperately craved.
"The beginning is always a good place.
"Good thing you're sick," Gibbs said, resisting the urge to head slap his sick friend; however, it was good that Tony still had his sense of humor.
Tony tiredly grinned. "You can owe me that one later."
"I'll definitely collect."
"I'm sure you will, Boss. I'm sure you will."
Gibbs took the next few seconds to gather his thoughts as Tony patiently waited for him to begin. He had come to the conclusion that he would see what DiNozzo remembered; hopefully that would give him time to figure out how he was going to tell Tony about Adam.
"There isn't any easy way to say this, so I'm just going to say it," Gibbs reluctantly began. "Your dad…"
"Drugged me," Tony finished. "I know. What I don't understand is…why."
"I'm not completely sure I understand his reasoning either; your father is a complicated man."
Tony's grin didn't reach his eyes; the usually expressive orbs were clouded by dark circles which spoke volumes of the exhaustion and illness plaguing the younger man. "Tell me something I don't know."
"I guess you'd know better than anyone."
"Yeah. I could tell you some stories, but you know most of them already."
The team leader did know a great deal about Tony and his father, but DiNozzo had always held onto the hope that his dad would change. It was now obvious that Senior was never going to change, even to save his relationship with his son.
He sat down on the edge of the bed, silently contemplating his next words. "Tony, do you remember that boy you saved the other day?"
The young agent nodded. "I think his name was Adam," Tony recalled. A look of sheer panic danced upon his pale features as he struggled to sit up. "Is he all right?"
"He's fine, Tony; safe and sound thanks to you."
Gibbs was concerned by the fact that Tony didn't remember that the young boy he had rescued was all right; he wondered if that particular memory lapse was from being sick or if Tony had started to block the incident, much like the accident involving his brother. The similarities between the events were mere coincidences, but the near recent tragedy had served as a catalyst to awaken memories that Tony had unknowingly buried.
"That's good," Tony replied as he settled back down against his pillow. "The last few days are kind of fuzzy, between being sick and my father drugging…"
The team leader gave Tony's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. He dreaded where this conversation was headed; there was no easy way to say the things that had to be said, but like he had told DiNozzo, the young man deserved to know the truth. "Tony," Gibbs reluctantly began. "After you rescued Adam, you started having flashbacks; do you remember any of that?"
Tony shook his head. "Not really; I remember…I'm not sure what I remember," he admitted.
"That's not surprising." Although Tony didn't remember, Gibbs could vividly recall his friend crying out for someone to help him; the memories of the past had tortured DiNozzo endlessly and the Marine wanted nothing more than to put an end to the confusion that had recently consumed the young agent's life.
"Gibbs, you've never been one to beat around the bush," Tony pointed out. "Just tell me straight up what's been going on."
He and DiNozzo were too much alike; something that Ducky enjoyed reminding him of almost on a daily basis. Neither one of them was much for sugar coating the truth; their ability to be completely honest with each other had forged a special bond between them and it was something that they didn't take forgranted.
"All right," Gibbs conceded. "The flashbacks that you're experiencing have to do with something that happened when you were a child. The rescue the other day has simply forced those memories to the forefront." He watched Tony for a reaction, but much to his credit, DiNozzo remained focused on his every word. "When you were a kid, you had…you had a brother and his name was Adam."
Tony defiantly shook his head. "A brother? Gibbs, I've never had a brother; I think I would remember having a brother." As an afterthought, DiNozzo met the team leader's steely gaze and asked, "Wouldn't I?"
"That's where your father comes in to play."
"I'm not sure I understand."
A string of expletives directed at Tony's father ran through his mind, but he refrained from letting them escape his lips. He despised Senior for what he had done to his own son and for destroying that special bond that should exist between a father and a son. Gibbs cleared his throat as he mentally braced himself to tell the rest of the story and hoped that Tony was prepared to hear it.
"You had a brother and his name was Adam. The two of you were with your mom on a pier and while…while she was talking to someone, Adam fell in the water. You jumped in to save him but it was too late; you couldn't find him and nearly drowned yourself before you were pulled out of the water."
"He died?"
Tony's voice almost sounded like a lost child and it tore at Gibbs' heart. "Yeah," he answered. "Your dad sent you and your mom home while he took care of things."
"Took care of things? What do you mean by that?" Tony wanted to know.
Gibbs took a deep breath and released it. This was more difficult than he ever thought possible. "According to your dad, he didn't want you plagued by the trauma, so he put you under a doctor's care and basically pumped you full of drugs until you couldn't remember. After you rescued that little boy the other day, you had a flashback and your dad started worrying that you were going to remember; he drugged your juice, but you had too much at one time and that's how you ended up in the hospital. He confessed to everything and that's why I placed him under arrest. I've also got a warrant issued for Dr. Phillip Mabe and I'm sure he'll fill in more of the puzzle once we have him in custody."
He couldn't begin to imagine the emotional upheaval that his friend was experiencing. "I remember Dr. Mabe...he was always around when I was little," Tony quietly remembered, his raspy voice betraying the stress that was weighing him down. "Dad…he said it was because I was always so sick; me and my mom were always sick. She was always so sad and…sometimes I felt like she didn't like me, but Senior just said it was her depression. Guess I'd be depressed too if my child was dead."
"Tony, I…"
The team leader wasn't sure what to say. He wanted to offer some kind of reasoning for what had happened, but there was nothing to justify Senior's actions and the resulting consequences. In the last five minutes, Tony had learned that he hadn't been an only child and that his brother had died; Gibbs knew DiNozzo well enough to know that the younger man would blame himself for not being able to save Adam and would have to carry that burden around for the rest of his life.
For the first time, Gibbs was questioning his decision in telling Tony the truth. He quickly brushed that thought aside; as painful as it was, he knew that his senior field agent wanted the truth. There were some details he had left out, but those details shouldn't come from him, but from Senior; of course, if Tony's father was too much of a coward to face his son, then Gibbs would be ready to fill in the blanks.
"Why?" Tony finally managed to ask. "What was he thinking? Was he trying to protect someone? Certainly not me."
Gibbs shrugged. Tony desperately wanted a logical reason as to his father's motivation and unfortunately, he couldn't provide him one. "I don't know."
"I guess he was looking out after himself."
The ailing agent raked his hand through his hair and then threw his arm over his eyes. Gibbs knew that Tony was more than likely going to try and close himself off; he had a tendency to isolate himself whenever he was trying to sort out his problems as if he were ashamed to ask for help. Hiding behind an impassive mask was something that he had been taught to do from a young age and it was something that DiNozzo did very well; Gibbs knew that he couldn't let Tony deal with this alone.
"Tony, I'm sorry."
DiNozzo shook his head. "For what? You didn't do anything." His voice was barely above a whisper. Tony met Gibbs' concerned gaze. "I still can't believe that I had a brother. I can't even remember him! Why couldn't I save him? How could my dad hide this from me all these years?"
"I wish I knew."
"Come on, Gibbs; you always have the answers."
DiNozzo was right. Gibbs wanted nothing more than to provide Tony with the answers that he desperately sought, but he also knew that nothing he could say at the moment would help. "I wish I did."
"So, my dad is in custody?"
"Yeah."
"I'm booking him on assault of a federal officer, unless you want me to drop the charges." Gibbs wasn't sure what Tony would do; he wasn't even sure what he would do if their positions were reversed.
Tony shook his head; his stoic expression making it difficult for Gibbs to read. He wished that DiNozzo would quit hiding behind that damned mask; he wanted to be able to tell what Tony was thinking, but at the moment, the agent was reluctant to let anyone see behind that wall he put up around his heart. "What do you think I should do?"
"I can't answer that, Tony. What do you think you should do?" Gibbs asked.
"I don't know, but I think Senior should face the consequences for what he's done," Tony stated. Gibbs had to admit that he was surprised; he had expected Tony to look the other way and once again figure a way to shoulder the blame for his father's actions. Senior had clearly crossed the line and it was obvious that Tony was not going to forgive his father so easily this time.
"He will, Tony; I promise you that he will."
"I don't understand…" Tony swallowed hard.
"What don't you understand?" Gibbs pressed.
Tony closed his eyes and the team leader knew that he was taking time to process everything and gather his thoughts. Gibbs patiently waited for Tony to continue when he was ready; he knew when his friend needed space and was more than willing to give him what he needed. After a few seconds, DiNozzo opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling; Gibbs could almost see the Tony's thoughts racing in his mind.
"I don't understand why I can't have a normal father; you know, one that doesn't lie to me and doesn't hide the fact that I had a brother. Thanks to him, I have no memory of someone that…" Another coughing fit briefly interrupted the tirade; Tony was worn out both physically and mentally and Gibbs wasn't sure that there was any relief in sight.
"Sorry," Tony apologized after he managed to catch his breath.
"It's all right; just take it easy."
He helped Tony lay back and pulled up the covers around the trembling form. "Gibbs, I need to know about my brother and the only one who can tell me about him is my fa…Senior. I'm going to have to talk to him sometime."
"Probably so, but not until you're ready."
"I still can't…believe…"
Gibbs could tell that Tony was struggling to breathe. He pushed the call button for the nurse as he cupped the young man's face with a calloused hand. "DiNozzo, listen to me; I need you to try and slow your breathing," he instructed. "You've got to relax.
Thankfully, the nurse came in and within just a few seconds had placed Tony on oxygen; Gibbs nodded his thanks as he once again took his place by DiNozzo's side. "Rest and we'll talk some more later," he vowed.
Tony nodded and closed his eyes, wiping away a tear that was streaking down his cheek. Damn Senior for doing this to his son; it was a good thing that Tony's dad was in custody because Gibbs couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't inflict great bodily harm on the man if he were closeby. He waited patiently until Tony had drifted off to sleep and then quietly rose and stepped outside DiNozzo's room. Pulling out his phone, he dialed the number of someone who could hopefully help the man who was like a son to him.
"Hey, Doc," he greeted. "I need you to come back to the hospital…"