A/N: You know what's really nice? Writing a chapter you're not sure of, publishing it, and then get the best feedback ever on it. So thank you to all those who have reviewed, you really do blow me away sometimes *blushes*
*Ahem* Still lining up some duckies that seem to have escaped me, but I think this one puts them all in line *grins while cracking a whip over the duckies heads* And they better well stay there if they know what's good for them!
Erm... right... on with the story then, enjoy! :D
Chapter 12: Crumbling pieces.
The bass was pumping, vibrating somewhere deep within her. Her hands was in the air and her body moving on its own. Somewhere to her right, Panda was making a hole in the otherwise packed dance floor, her movements wild. Naomi grinned at her, receiving a smile back, before the other blonde resumed her flailing about, knocking a few people who were dumb enough to get too close, out cold. It didn't seem to even slow Panda down, but Naomi threw her head back and laughed.
That gnawing feeling of recognition fell over her again, but she ignored it by taking another swig of the bottle in her hand. The alcohol burned its way down her throat, wiping away the feeling completely. Clearly there were some perks with having friends working in a club, the bottle in her hand was just one of them, the fact that it had taken her two minutes to get in, another.
She started dancing again, and was quickly joined by someone. She didn't know who the guy was and she found that she really didn't care. He was trying to get her attention, shouting something at her, smiling in what he clearly thought was a sexy way. She just rolled her eyes at him and turned away, opening up some space. It was taken over in seconds by the next hopeful fool, a girl this time. She ignored her, she was only here to get drunk.
Sweat covered her when someone started tugging at her arm, she had been dancing for what seemed like hours. She whipped her head around, prepared to shoot the next one down, and was stunned when she looked into a pair of smoky blue eyes. She stumbled after as the other turned and made their way to the edge of the dance floor, giggling slightly at her own inability to walk straight. She was more or less dragged outside at this point, having latched on to an arm to try and stop herself from falling.
"Effy!" She shouted in a delighted voice, as the door behind them closed, trapping some of the deafening noise of the music inside. "What the fuck are you doing here?" She enveloped the other in a hug, not noticing that she wasn't being hugged back.
"Do you mind letting go?" Came a strangled voice. "Slight trouble breathing here."
"Oh shit, sorry Eff." She giggled again as she stumbled away from the other girl. "Jesus, I feel like Bambi on the fucking ice." She waved the bottle around, slurring her words. "Where's Katie? She not here? You two are always together these days, and to be honest I have no clue what the fuck is going on between you." She punctuated the last statement with a loud hiccup and looked expectantly at Effy, while fishing in her pockets for her cigarettes.
"Jesus, how much have you had to drink? You can hardly stand." Effy was looking at her, watching as she tried to get the damn lighter to work. Clearly there was something wrong with it. "Oi! Pay attention!"
Effy's words made her eyes snap up from the obviously faulty lighter and she stared at her. There was something she was supposed to be answering. Ah yes, she grinned weakly, waving the bottle in the others direction. "About this much." The remaining liquor sloshed in the bottle, there was hardly anything left.
"Right that's it." Effy took the lighter from her and the tiny flame that suddenly sprang up made her brow furrow. She jabbed the cigarette in the general direction of the little flame, and was pleased to find that she hit it on the first try. "I'm taking you home."
"I don't wanna." She tried a pout, but ruined it all by her lips twitching into a smile. "Besides, I'm not going anywhere til you tell me what the hell you're doing here." She stubbornly crossed her arms, and tried to lean against the wall, nearly falling over in the process.
"Fine!" Effy threw her hands up. "I came back because I was supposed to stay with my brother, I told you about him right? Tony?" Naomi nodded, vaguely remembering talking about him once. She wished the wall wouldn't move so much. "Well, he was busy shagging some random chick, and he only has one room. One night of that was enough." Effy shrugged.
Something about that bothered Naomi, it took her a few seconds to find out what. "Couldn't you stay with Katie?"
"Didn't want to crash the reunion." She had a faraway look in her eyes, she shook her head and seemed to snap out of it. "But enough of that. I'm taking your drunk ass home." Before Naomi had a chance to object or ask any more questions, Effy had grabbed her wrist and dragged her into a cab. She had no idea where it came from. She watched from the backseat as the club disappeared from view, still feeling a sense of recognition in the back of her head.
How Effy got her into her house, up her stairs, out of her clothes and into bed, was beyond her. It didn't change the fact that she was now safely tucked up, feeling it sway as if it was on a boat, in her bed. Effy was still there, sitting quietly in a chair in the dark.
"You know." Naomi slurred "You're not as other people think you are either. Just like Cook." She laughed. "Cook's a funny word. Cook. Cook. Cook." She laughed again.
"Go to sleep Naomi." Came the soft reply from the shape she knew was Effy. "You're drunk." It sounded amused.
"Why do people always say that? You're drunk? I mean, I know I am." Naomi sighed, feeling sleep creep up on her. "It's not gonna change anything, is it?" There was no reply from Effy.
The silence stretched, before she mumbled sleepily. "I hope I don't dream about her again, Eff. I really do. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I could just have one night without her, but she seems to be everywhere." She snuggled deeper into her covers. "Emily is the prettiest name I know, you know. Maybe it's not so bad to dream about her after all."
"Maybe not" She vaguely heard from the other side of the room before drifting off to sleep.
She's running through the city, following the flowing red hair in front of her. No matter how hard she runs, she never gets closer to it. She screams at it to stop, to slow down, it keeps going as if it hasn't heard her. She watches in horror as it disappears in to a building, darts in after it. The stairs seem to go on forever. "Naomi?" A voice rings out, and the world seems to shake. "Naomi, wake up!" The voice makes no sense. "NAOMI!" The stairway dissolves into darkness, a shape bent over her, shaking her shoulders.
"Effy?" She blinks a few times, feeling the tears rise in her eyes. "I lost her again. I tried so hard to catch up, but she keeps getting away." Sobs made their way out. "I don't want to… I can't… I lost her." The rest of the words gets buried as she breaks down.
"It's ok, Naomi. It's just a dream, a nightmare." She knows it's true, but she can't stop the hysteric sobs escaping her. Effy's just holding her, obviously not knowing what to do. She's so distraught, she don't even feel it coming. She hears Effy sigh with something that sounds suspiciously like relief, it puzzles her for a moment before she drifts in to it, her sobs stilling.
*Flicker* She feels a hand on the small of her back, lazily drawing circles, making goose bumps rise it's wake. She can't help the smile that comes with the sensation, her eyes are still closed. The hand moves up her spine, making it tingle. Her eyes open, and she turns her head.
"Hey you." She whispers with a smile, feeling her stomach do back-flips as she looks in to the warm chocolate brown eyes next to her. They're so full of awe, of love, it almost makes her lose her breath.
"Hey yourself." A deliciously husky voice answers. "Did I wake you?" The hand traces over her shoulder, down her arm, before lacing their fingers together. It feels right.
"I don't mind being woken up like this." She moves to face the other, subconsciously mirroring her, using her free hand to prop her self up on an elbow. The slow spreading smile on Emily's face feels like her own private sunrise.
Her heart picks up speed, and she brings the hand up and kisses it. Her eyes never leave those pools of swirling brown, they hold her without even trying. Glowing slightly as a ray of sun hits them.
"You're beautiful." She hears herself say. *Flicker*
By the time she drifts out of it, her breath has calmed, and her mind seemed a bit clearer. Confusion still rages in her, but it seems trivial now. She draws a shaky breath, and shifts herself out of Effy's awkward embrace, not looking at her. They sit there, side by side, in total silence for a few minutes.
"I'm sorry." Naomi says after a while, still not meeting Effy's eyes. She feels like an idiot, crying like that in front of her friend.
"It's ok, don't worry about it. We all have nightmares from time to time." Naomi sneaks a look at her, noting that the faraway look is back in her friend's eyes. "I should probably get going." She wants to ask her to stay, to explain it all, but can't find the words.
As if Effy really can read her mind, she stops and looks at her from the doorway. "I'll call you later. And stop worrying, it'll all be ok, I just need to go home and get some sleep." The trademark smirk is back, making Naomi feel like they are ok. She finds herself smiling back.
Her head was pounding when she dragged herself out of bed after Effy left. Groaning, she made her way to the bathroom. Bloodshot eyes stares back at her when she stares in the mirror, she looks like shit. Turning on the shower, she watches the water for a minute, before getting in.
The previous night comes back to her in bits and pieces throughout the day. It makes her flinch a little, as she remembers a particular guy, sweaty and smelly, with his hands all over her. Cringe at the sudden remembrance of the major amounts of alcohol she had drunk. Laugh at a flashing image of Panda knocking down several people on the dance floor. Mostly though, it makes her frown. She can't place that feeling that she's missing something, something huge.
Her mother stomped into the kitchen, dragging a battered old suitcase, bringing her out of her speculations of what it was she had missed. "Do you have all you need, darling? I left some money on your desk, there's food in the fridge and I'm taking my cell."
"What?" Naomi asked her bewildered., not knowing what her mother was on about.
"Now, I'll only be gone a few weeks, but if you need something be sure to give me a call." Her mother prattled on, not seeing the utterly confused look on her daughters face.
"Mum. I have no idea what the hell you're talking about." Gina looked up and finally noted the way her daughter was looking at her.
"Honestly Naomi, do you ever pay attention? I told you weeks ago that I was going to that protest at Sellafield and then we were gonna stage a protest at the parliament. It's like you're in a world of your own these days." She told her daughter, a bit exasperated.
"Oh right." Naomi said, not remembering anything of the sort. "Well, have fun then. And don't get arrested, we don't want a repeat of last time." She flashed her mother what she hoped was an amused grin.
"Don't be silly dear, I'm not gonna get arrested again. It was all a misunderstanding last time. Besides, it'll be good for you to have some time alone, with exams coming up and all." A car horn sounded outside, "Oh! Got to dash. You be good, you hear me. And clean up if you're planning any big parties." Her mother leaned over her and kissed her on the cheek, hugging her tightly.
Naomi followed her to the door, waving goodbye as the old van with peace sings painted on it, drove away. She turned and walked back into a very quiet house. She couldn't stand the feeling of emptiness that washed over her, to abolish it she turned on the stereo and all the lights in the house. It was still there though, along with that gnawing feeling she'd had earlier. What on earth was it she wasn't remembering? She rubbed her eyes, and went to try and get some reading done.
Concentrating on her course work, proved to be impossible. She had been staring at the same page for 20 minutes before giving up on it. The sky outside had a boiling grey colour, rain threatening to fall from the heavy clouds. She turned on the TV, trying to get her mind out of the rut it was in. It didn't work. She sighed and switched the thing off, gathering her things and went to her room. The rain started pounding down as she laid on her bed.
The room grew dark around her, the only sound was the rain against her window, and a ticking clock on her bedside table. She kept nodding off, but forced herself back awake, not wanting the nightmares. The cycle continued through the night, and by the time the first cracks of daylight came through her window, she was exhausted. She got back up, still wearing the clothes she'd had on the night before, and went down the stairs and ended up in the kitchen again.
When she was a kid she had used to love the kitchens in their string of houses. There was usually always someone there. Someone who would make her a cup of tea or hot chocolate, someone who'd listen to her complain about her stupid class-mates, who would let her sit there as they talked about topics she didn't really understand, someone who cared. It felt empty and cold now, like the rest of the house, and she couldn't stand it anymore. She had to get out of there.
The rain had let up, and it was now just a faint drizzle, barely there at all. Naomi ignored it, ignored the still swirling grey sky promising more rain to come. She walked through the streets, hands in her pockets, not knowing where she was headed. She just went where her feet led her.
*Flicker* "Why didn't you tell me you knew her?" Emily was looking at her, suspicion tingeing her voice, a hurt look in her eyes. Naomi's gut clenched.
"I met her once at an open day." She tried sounding calm, but Emily was in a fighting mode.
"What open day?" The red head spat at her.
"It was an open day, what does it matter?" She didn't want to fight, but she felt the irritation rise in her, making her more on edge then she already was.
"We're going travelling next year. We decided." Her words sounded so final, and the feeling that someone had taken hold of her insides and was squeezing them, intensified. She could see Emily trying to make sense of it all, but didn't want to give her an opening.
"You decided." Naomi answered. The look of confusion deepened in the others face, and she felt the need to try and make it alright, to explain. "Look, went to an open day. Met a girl, we talked. That's it." She found herself hoping that was going to be it for this conversation too.
"You should have told me." Emily countered, almost before the words were out of her mouth. Naomi sighed internally.
"Well, how could I without telling you where I met her?" She could hear the desperation in her own voice, and knew it wasn't good. She tried reining it in. "I didn't want a referendum on our relationship over a stupid open day."
Emily changed her tactic faster then a viper could strike. "Did you know she was gay?"
"I met her once!" She heard herself spit back, feeling her hackles rise again.
"Did you fuck her?" The spite in Emily's voice made her want to take a step back.
"NO!" Guilt flooded her, and she hoped it didn't show. It made her next words sound harsh, like an attack. "Do you think I'd shag some random girl behind your back?" *Flicker*
A crackle of lightning made her look up, her mind still mulling over the last flicker. Guilt was still moving around in her, making her feel sick. She had no idea where she was, no idea how she had gotten there. The road forked in front of her and she chose her direction at random. She dragged her grey hoodie so it covered her hands, it suddenly felt freezing.
When she looked up again, she was surprised to find that she was in front of the club she had been at only a few nights earlier. That feeling of missing something struck again, and she frowned at the building. It looked so different in daylight, she let her eyes trail up to the top of it.
*Flicker* "EMILY!" She ran up the stairs, following the red hair in front of her. Her voice echoed slightly in the empty space. The other made no attempt to stop, and burst through the doors and onto the roof. Naomi was seconds behind her.
"PLEASE" Her own voice was so pleading, she hardly recognized it. "Can't we just go home?" She sounded pathetic and she knew it. It was all like a nightmare, she should have told her sooner. No, she should have never done it in the first place. A tiny part of her kept telling her she deserved what came next.
"I don't think so." The red hair that she loved with all her heart, kept walking away from her. Kept walking towards their collective doom. All she could do was to follow, hoping to somehow make her see. *Flicker*
The thunder boomed somewhere over her, but she didn't really pay attention. Fat raindrops started hitting her exposed skin, her clothes getting more and more wet by the second. Not thinking clearly, she took the final few steps towards the door and tugged it open. Somewhere in the back of her mind she felt surprise that it wasn't locked. Her eyes adjusted to the gloom inside, and fell on a staircase.
Naomi's breath caught, her heart thumping furiously. "I found it." She whispered to herself.
*Takes cover behind an overturned table while waving a white flag* I had to end it there, I had to!
If you want to yell at me, fine... just hit the review button down there and let me have it! If you don't want to yell at me, but have something a bit nicer to add, feel free to do the same :D