I OWN NOTHING BUT THE PLOTLINE AND THE OCS.
Chapter Thirteen
First Kiss
"What do you mean you're leaving?"
Ryoko gave Heisuke a small smile. This was the third time she was explaining it to him. "I told you; this is Katsumi's chance for revenge."
"No, I understand that; why do YOU have to go?"
After returning from their trip to Edo, Saito revealed to everyone Katsumi's secret. Katsumi's family had been murdered by the Orgo Bandits, revealing why the young woman had tried to attack the ones in town that one night. Every year on the second week of winter, when Katsumi said she was going to go visit her family, she was actually going to visit their graves, also explaining why she always went by herself. Ryoko was a little hurt, not sure why Katsumi didn't trust them enough to tell her the secret she had kept quiet, why she had revealed it to the samurai before anyone else, but as she thought about it, the answer wasn't hard to see.
She had noticed over the last few days the way Katsumi would look at Saito. The older woman thought that she was being discrete but Ryoko had caught them all; it was often the look she wore when she looked at Heisuke, according to Yumi.
"I have to go because Katsumi is important to me. She's my sister. I can't let her go do something like this, something this dangerous, without me. I'd be riddled with fear and worry until they returned."
"And I won't be?" Heisuke frowned. "All I'll be able to think about if you until you return safely."
She gave the young man before her a large smile. "I appreciate that you're worried about me, Heisuke, and I thank you, but there's no need for you to worry. I'll be with the others; and Saito, Yamazaki, and Shimada. I promise I'll come back."
After learning the truth, Saito had sent scouts out to search for the Orgo Bandits and found them on the mountains of Kuju. Saito had asked permission to take Katsumi and a few men to go and confront the Bandits to help Katsumi get revenge for her family. The other members of the Okami Pack, of course, were going as well. They were expected to be back by spring.
Ryoko had sought out Heisuke the morning of their departure and found him waiting for her at the gates of the base. He had been out on a late patrol with Okita the night before and had heard the news from Sanosuke the moment he returned; he hadn't even changed from his uniform yet, telling her that he had been waiting for her for a little while. Parting from Yumi's side as she joined the other women, she had approached him to explain things.
"But I won't be there," Heisuke replied. "What if I want to be the one that'll keep you safe?"
Ryoko felt her heart warm up as the smile spread wider across her face. "It makes me happy to hear you say that, really, but I can take care of myself. We'll all be back before you know it and then things will go back to normal. You just have to be patient."
"What if I don't want to be patient?"
She gave him a stern look. "We all have to grow up sometime, Toudou."
He flinched. It had been a while since she had called him by his last name. He didn't like it as much as he liked her calling him by his first name. "I suppose I have no choice then, do I?" He hung his head for a moment before reaching into one of his pockets. "Just...promise to wear this, all right?" Raising a brow, Ryoko watched as Heisuke pulled out a necklace; hanging from the leather was a small, violet stone that made her think of the ocean. "It's called a charoite. It's...supposed to keep you safe on journeys and bring you luck and other things so...so any time you're not with me I want you to wear this, all right?" She was afraid her face was going to be stuck like this if her grin got any wider. "As long as you wear this, I'll feel better." He felt his face heat up as she chuckled. "Don't laugh at me!"
She shook her head. "I'm not, I promise. And I promise to wear it every time you're not near me."
Heisuke felt his blush grow worse. "G-good."
He leaned forward and Ryoko closed her eyes as he tied the necklace around her neck. Standing this close, Heisuke's smell entered her nose. Though the smell of sweat was there, so was the cucumber/melon like smell of the soap he used. It was one odd smell combination to her at first but she had grown used to it; grown to like it.
Heisuke's hands softly cradled the side of her head and she felt the warmth as he placed his forehead against hers. Things were silent for a moment until...
"Séjour averti." Ryoko felt her eyes widen as the words left Heisuke's mouth. "Dièse de séjour. Revenez à nous indemnes."
Stay aware. Stay Sharp. Return to us unharmed.
Those were the words that the Okami Pack would always say to eachother whenever they went on a mission alone or traveled. Heisuke had asked about it when he heard Asami tell Katsumi that when she left with Saito for Edo. For him to remember it...to say it to her...
Opening her eyes, Ryoko found herself staring into Heisuke's; his pools of blue/green water held nothing but worry and adoration as he stared at her.
And then it happened.
It was soft and warm; and it trembled, as if nervous. Heisuke had pressed his lips against hers forming the first kiss that she had ever had. Susumu and his friends had just tied her to the bed. Not once it she felt the lips of another against her own. She'd always feared any kind of intimate contact with the other sex after what happened to her but here now with him…with Heisuke... A fire seemed to light up in her chest like never before. This unexplainable burning desire that she now felt to reach forward and make the kiss even deeper grabbed every part of her, even her mind was screaming for more. This feeling… These feelings that she had been experiencing these last few weeks with the man before her none of it made sense but at the same time it felt right. She wanted nothing more than to stay here with him while the others went off on their expedition to find the bandits but she also had a desire to go and see this through to the end. She wouldn't let this new feeling inside keep her from helping her sisters no matter how much she wanted it to.
Heisuke slowly pulled back but didn't remove his forehead from hers as his blue-green eyes stared back into her own blue ones. She could see that his cheeks were flushed and that boyish grin was on his face again.
"I-I'm sure," He began to stutter. "That something like this was the last thing that you want on your mind but I… I just couldn't help myself any longer. This mission that you're about to go on I'm can't be there to protect you so if something happens I at least wanted to tell you my feelings before you left. I know after what happened… I won't apologize; not for my feelings. I..."
Ryoko cut him off by leaning forward and pressing her lips against his. The look of shock on his face before he returned the kiss himself was priceless, bringing a giggle from her throat before she pulled back and leaned her forehead against his chest.
"This...no, you, have brought a change to me, Heisuke. I...I'm too embarrassed to say anything out loud, too confused. but I promise that I'll come back to you. And when I do... When I do the two of us will have to sit down and talk about everything. Not about the past or the Ochimizu, but about what happens next and where the two of us go from here."
"You mean-"
"Keep your eyes on the gates, Heisuke. I promise I'll come back to you, even if I have to drag myself all the way here."
"Ryoko..." The happiness in the young man's voice as he whispered her name made her heart jump and the warmth of his arms as he embraced her made her smile grow even larger.
Out there on this journey she made a promise to herself to make sure she could understand her feelings and sort out what she wanted and what she didn't want. Time away from the Shinsengumi and traveling should be able to help her clear her head to make a rational decision. It wasn't just Heisuke she was thinking about. She remembered what she'd overheard Asami and Kondo talking about. Tsukiko told her to trust their leader but she didn't know if she could keep this quiet from the others, especially Katsumi. But she would reach a decision in the future; hopefully soon. Right now though she had to keep her mind set on the mission ahead of them and that was helping Katsumi get revenge against the Orgo bandits.
"Ryoko, it's time to go."
At Tsukiko's voice, Ryoko went to turn away but Heisuke tightened his grip. "If...if anything happens to you out there..."
"I'll come back," She whispered softly. "I promise."
Giving a small nod, Heisuke let his arms fall from her and she gave him a smile before turning. Tsukiko stood there with Yumi, both of them watching the exchange with smile.
"We'll take care of her, Toudou," Tsukiko told the younger man. "All of us will come back unharmed."
"Yeah..." He nodded. He wanted nothing more than to pick Ryoko up in his arms again but he restrained himself. "Be safe, guys, and go give them bandits some hell!"
"Damn right." Yumi grinned, slipping an arm around Ryoko's shoulders before leading her away.
Wearing a smile, Ryoko glanced back at Heisuke to watch as he gave a little wave before they disappeared around the corner.
"I'm proud of you, Ryoko," Yumi said happily as they walked out of the Shinsengumi Base. "You've grown up, and in a short amount of time as well. I almost didn't think it was possible. But I suppose all things are possible through love."
"Love?" She repeated, lifting a hand to her chest. "Is it this feeling? This burning in my chest? I already love you all of you but this feeling for him… It's different than what I feel for all of you."
"Love is always different when it's with a significant other," Tsukiko answered with a smile of her own. "You love us as sisters but when you start to feel something for a man, the feeling with him is more intimate than anything else you've ever experienced. You begin wanting to see him more than anything else. Hear his laughter, make him food, bring them anything he desires. Soon being apart from him will seem unbearable. It happens to us all."
"Even you?" Ryoko looked at the older woman.
"Even me," She nodded. "Sometimes that love will follow you to the grave, no matter what else is offered to you."
Ryoko lowered her head for a moment. She was reminded of the conversation that she had overheard Asami and Kondo having.
"Asami," Kondo's words were slow. "Have you...reconsidered? Is that...perhaps, why you sought me out."
"Isami, I owe you more than I can ever give you. You, who took me and the baby I held in out of the pouring rain without a second through. You, who took care of both Fuyu and I until I was able to make it on my own. I came here from my home, barely knowing a think about anything and you stayed and helped me until I learned all that I needed. You, who knows where I come from and who I truly am...you accepted me with open arms; accepted both me and Fuyu. I swore to myself to repay you for your kindness...and I know what you want...but I'm afraid that I just can't give it to you."
"Even after twenty years?" Kondo sounded...so sad; Ryoko felt her heart stinging. This man...he and Asami knew eachother, they had to have met in Edo. He loved Asami so much it seemed...she could tell from his voice. "Twenty years of not even a glimpse of him and you still love him?"
"Even after twenty years," Asami's voice was soft and though Ryoko couldn't hear any emotions from it, she could see the sad smile on her leader's face. "I will go to my grave loving him."
"But you get the short end of the stick, Asami. It's not fair." Kondo began to plead. "You could be so much happier. Give me a chance."
"I will not have this conversation with you again, Isami." Asami's voice was harsh before fading again. "As I said before...if we had met in different times...I cannot pretend to love you while I long for another. I won't do that to you. You deserve better."
"So do you."
She frowned. "Love…is like a double-edged sword for some, isn't it?"
Tsukiko nodded. "It can be. And sometimes it's not fair. It's your choice what happens when you fall in love. Everyone has their own path; now you just have to find yours."
"You talk from experience?" Yumi commented.
"You know the answer to that."
Ryoko gave the two a look. "I hate it when the two of you do that. It's not fair that you can have secrets and I can't."
"It's not that you can't have secrets, Ryo," Yumi grinned. "You just suck at keeping them."
Tsukiko nodded. "You'll get better as you get older."
Everyone was already waiting for them at the gates, silence all around. Ryoko exchanged a look before hurrying towards Katsumi. Hooking her arms to her she began to pull her.
"Come on guys," she put on the happiest look she could. "Let's get this show on the road!"
"You're awfully energetic this morning," Fuyu frowned behind a yawn.
"That's because Toudou decided to give her some of his energy," Yumi replied with a big smile as Tsukiko laughed and Ryoko blushed.
Chika raised a brow. "How did he do that?"
"Oh, just a little mouth-to-mouth procedure, that's all."
"Mouth-to-mouth?" Fuyu repeated. "What does-oh my God he kiss you!"
Yumi's grin got bigger. "From what we saw, it was the other way around, right, Tsukiko?"
Ryoko wanted the earth to open up and swallow her.
"Stop teasing her," Asami's voice cut through the laughter. "Or need I bring out some of your past romances?" Both Yumi and Fuyu went a deep red before closing their mouths. Ryoko caught Asami's eye and received a wink before the older woman moved past her.
She was still upset that Asami had keeping such a big secret from them; she practically played them like a ball in the palm of her hand, but she couldn't find herself mad. She wanted to believe in Tsukiko's words when she told her that Asami had good reasons for all the choices that she had made. It was because of this woman that she was still alive. She didn't know what happened in the older woman's past, or what all she had seen in those dreams of hers, but she wanted to trust her. She'd seen herself just how true those dreams can be. Now all she had to do was convince herself that what she saw this time could be stopped by being here with the Shinsengumi.
The travels went on normally. It was never a dull day with the Okami Pack but the closer they came to the mountains the quieter Katsumi became. She begun to distance yourself from the others thinking quietly as she walked either to the front or the back of the group. Currently, as they stopped for the night and sat around the fire, she was staring at the snow and her feet ignoring everything around her. Ryoko watched her in silence as everyone else drifted off to sleep, and then gave a sigh as Katsumi finally resigned herself to sleep as well, leaving Yumi and Shimada on watch and one other person that continued to stare into the fire across from Ryoko.
Saito had not said a word to anyone outside of thanking Chika for the food she had given him earlier.
Saito was a very stoic man, silent too, but Ryoko had always liked him; he didn't try to get involved with the women unless he had to. She had found him to be cruel in the beginning but after what he had done for Katsumi...her feelings had changed. This man had taken Katsumi's secret about her family wholeheartedly and turned to help her get revenge. She remembered the first night they had met Saito.
You!" Katsumi's growl grabbed Ryoko's attention and she turned to find that she was glaring at one of the other men. He reached the height of 6'1' with brown hair and green eyes. He wore clothes of red/orange and gray beneath the light blue Haori and the white tasuki of the Shinsengumi. He was wearing a smirk as he stared at the speaking woman, his arms crossed. "What do you want this time?"
Before the man could answer, the sound of a sword being drawn made Katsumi turn. Another man stood there. He was close to the other man's height with dark hair and blue eyes as he dressed in black beneath his own Haori and tasuki. There was a white scarf around his neck, despite it being in summer, and he wore a plain face as he glanced at the woman he had drawn his sword on.
Ryoko's hand instantly jolted to her own blade, ready to run forward the moment this bastard tried to harm Katsumi. The other women followed suit, readying themselves for a fight.
"What's wrong? Not scared of a few women, are you?" Chika asked as her gaze traveled between the men that now gripped their own swords.
"Considering that you are the Okami Pack and not just your ordinary women, it seems like it would be a smart idea to be cautious at first." The silent man replied.
Ryoko watched as Katsumi grinned, ignoring the blade that being pointed at her. "Like I said before; you're the smart one."
Saito was, indeed, probably the smartest of the Shinsengumi, next to Sannan. Hijikata wasn't that far behind him, though. As she spent time at the base, she noticed that this young samurai was rather shy in front of women but Katsumi had been able to push through that. Had...had Saito grown on Katsumi like Heisuke had done to her? Did Saito...
"Is something wrong?"
At the soft voice, Ryoko gave a smile; Saito was watching her. She shook her head. "No, I'm fine. Merely thinking."
Saito closed his eyes, accepting her answer. "You should sleep; the path only gets worse from here."
"You should, too." She replied. "Katsumi's worried about you, you know."
He looked at her, his face as blank as ever but his eyes held a questioning look. "Why do you say that?"
Ryoko gave a smile. Katsumi had been watching Saito at night. "Apparently you haven't been sleeping much while we've been out here. I didn't tell you this, but she's thinking about slipping something in your food to make you sleep at night; you might want to talk to her about it."
The man blinked, and as Ryoko watched, his questioning look turned to one of warmth. It made her smile even more. "I want to thank you."
"Thank me?"
"Yes. I...I never knew what happened to Katsumi's family; none of us did. But she told you before anyone else. It means that Katsumi trusts you more than anything else. You could have just left it there at that but you decided you wanted to help her get revenge for her family. Thank you for caring about her. Thank you for taking this chance to try and save her from her past."
The man averted his eyes. "I...I'm not doing much..."
"I guarantee that she doesn't see it that way; none of us do." Ryoko closed her eyes for a moment. "Katsumi likes to do things on her own. She needs someone to help her, despite her denying it. I want to...but it seems that it's not me she needs right now."
"And you think I am?"
His words made her smile even more. "Only you and Katsumi can decide that; why not try it?"
Saito stared at her for a moment in silence. "You've grown."
She nodded. "I...I think we all have, really, and I'm sure that we'll just continue to do so, too. And we're not the only ones," She smiled. "Everyone has; except maybe Okita." Her smile grew wider as Saito chuckled; that was the most laughter she had heard from him. "Get some sleep, Saito. And think about what I said."
~Who am I to be giving advice like that?~ She asked herself as she moved towards the forms of the other women. She paused when she found a cleared away space by Katsumi, a blanket just waiting on her. Smiling, she picked it up and curled up beside the older woman, happily spreading the blanket over the other woman too. As sleep took over, Ryoko tried to think about the journey before them but her mind kept wandering back to Heisuke and the way his lips felt against hers.
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