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Chapter 13
Even though she had tested herself yesterday in saving Locksley Lillian felt well, albeit her wound was a little sore from the exercise. As she walked down the stairs she smiled seeing her father; he was sitting in a chair by the empty fireplace. She knew he was thinking, for he bit his bottom lip and his left hand was pressed against his forehead, his wedding ring catching the light.
She quietly sat herself in the chair opposite his and waited for him to acknowledge her. She had to wait a while. After waiting patiently he looked up at her and smiled gently, Lillian grinned back and straightened her back in the wooden chair.
The two chairs had been here for as long as she could remember, they had grown old with age. Will kept promising Robin he could make him a new couple exactly the same but Robin refused. He liked the way they had been passed down from generation to generation; they had been his parents, a gift on their wedding day and he had inherited them with the estate. Robin remembered sitting in them with Marian when they were just married, a couple sitting before the warmth of the fire.
Lillian could remember sitting on her father's lap in the chair as a toddler, intently watching the firewood crackle and simmer, she remembered the first time she had sat in one of the large chairs by herself, it had seemed so big back then and herself so little, she almost felt lost in the wood grain. She used to sit cross-legged but as she grew taller her knees no longer fitted in the seat and she had to give in to sitting 'properly' with her legs neatly crossed; her feet resting on the ground.
Robin missed the days when Lillian would struggle to clamber up into the seat, when she would grin triumphantly when she managed it, or when her feet would swing aimlessly, her legs too short to rest on the ground. Now he looked at her and saw a young woman all grown up with her feet firmly placed on the floor and her dress draping down the side of her legs; one resting upon the other. He could tell something was on her mind; she had that look in her eyes, very similar to the one he often wore in his when he had a cheeky statement to make or a devilish plan.
"I was wondering" she began her blue eyes shining "Who was bold enough to knock at the door so late last night"
Robin's face sunk slightly, Lillian noticed the change.
"Just an old family friend" Robin dismissed, standing up.
"Who?"
"No one"
"Everybody is somebody, have I met them before?"
"No. Just, drop it Lillian."
Lillian could tell her father was anxious, perhaps even angry, but she didn't want to leave the subject hanging. She wanted to know who the young male was staring at her last night.
Marian came in the door carrying a basket of herbs from the garden. She could sense the tense atmosphere and took in the situation before her. Robin stood at the bottom of the stairs his fist lent against the bottom banister, Lillian sat in one of the old chairs in front of the fire, her body facing the now empty chair, and her head turned facing her father.
"Robin?" Marian spoke gently and her husband turned to face her. He sighed and turned back round to their daughter.
"Her name is Alice. She came to ask for our hospitality" He looked at Marian and she nodded, as if giving her consent. Lillian noticed the small exchange.
"What?" She questioned.
"Alice didn't come alone" Robin walked back over and sat in his chair once again. Marian followed him, and stood by his side; always by his side.
"She came with her son"
"Ah, the young man outside the house last night"
This new information brought Robin out of his state of fury.
"You spoke with him?"
"No, we just exchanged a glance last night through your bedroom window"
Robin did not know whether he should pursue this or finish with his previous explanation.
"Nothing happened" she added, trying to reassure her worried father.
"Her husband recently passed away and left with little income she wanted to be back home. She originally lived in Locksley but left many years ago"
"So why are you so angry?" Lillian said, she didn't understand her father's anger.
"Her son goes by the name of James, but that is his middle name, we knew him as John"
Lillian felt as if she was missing something, as if Robin was trying to place an emphasis on his name, neither names were uncommon. It was a traditional custom for families to name their children after royalty, Lillian knew many Richard's and John's, there were many in Locksley as well as a large number of Robert's and Robin's.
"James isn't her dead husband's son. He's her previous husband's; John."
Robin looked at Lillian's puzzled face; he was trying to tell her gently, slowly. Marian and he had never seen a reason before to talk about John's lost family, it wasn't a topic that arose in conversation and the large man wasn't one for openly discussing his feelings.
"Her previous husband was Little John. James is his son. He doesn't know that they've come back and she's asked me not to tell him"
The pieces of the puzzle seemed to slot into place and Lillian stared at the whole picture before her.
"But John is our friend, we cannot lie to him"
"Exactly, which is why I am so confused as to what to do. Whether I have made the right decision. I promised her I would remain silent, but also explained my problem. I've given her a three day delay, if she doesn't tell him in that space of time, I will."
"But John will know when he comes for deliveries and the like."
"We have to hide it for now and hope that he forgives us"
"They say he is only a few years older than us"
Lillian listened to her best friend Sophia as they wandered around Locksley village picking flowers. The sun was shining down, the first hot day in the year and all the villagers were making the most of the warm weather. Young children ran around, the boys fighting with wooden sticks for swords the girls making little daisy chains to wear around their heads.
Older couples sat on stools smiling at the children's play, fathers scooped worn out children up and carried them indoors while their mothers tended to grazed elbows and knees. Lillian saw her mother leave on her mare with a basket of food for her grandfather, the winters were hard for him but the summers and their blistering heat were no easier. This middle passage of warm spring was the nicest time, the flowers had sprouted, their colours showing off and everyone could enjoy the mild breeze than ran through, ensuring nobody got too hot.
"Somebody's been sneaking around" Lillian giggled
"Well they don't call my mother they village mouth for nothing!" Sophia laughed tucking a sweet pea behind Lillian's ear.
Lillian raised her hand to cover her eyes from the sun and tried to identify the figure walking towards her and her friend. She noted who it was and turned to see Sophia's cheeks turn rosy with a blush.
"Ladies" James mocked a little bow and Sophia and Lillian returned the mock gesture with little curtsies. "I was wondering if there were any rules as to which trees were used for woodcutting."
"Oh no, Will chops them and then we use the wood store at the back of Locksley Manor" Sophia explained to the new villager.
"Ah, I see. In which case I wonder if you can show me the way"
Sophia was quite ready to grab James's hand and half drag him to the small store hut but her mother was never one for timing and so as her name rang out across the village she had to leave and see what her mother so urgently wanted.
James instead turned to Sophia's friend, the girl at the window. He had heard she was Lillian; Robin and Marian's daughter. A lady to this estate and a friend of the outlaws, a champion of the poor but also a recently injured comrade. She looked as good in daylight as she did in twilight, the sun shone through her chestnut curls; she looked as if she wore a halo, leaving her face slightly in the shadow. Her blue eyes were piercing and her small button nose was lightly dusted with small freckles. Her lips were full and rosy and one of her just off-white teeth bit down on her bottom lip, leaving an indentation, almost piercing the skin. A lilac sweetpea sat behind her ear, its petals peeking out from the top of her earlobe. She had been a gorgeous mystery girl at the window but before him in daylight stood a beautiful young woman in her element.
She sighed ever so softly, her lips curling into a small grin. "I'll show you the way"
She started off at a fairly quick pace, James was only to happy to follow her, quickly matching her steps, mesmerized by the way her brown curls bounced off her back as she walked with a spring in her step.
Lillian could feel his eyes gazing at her, but they felt safe, complimentary rather than spying or intruding. She felt comfortable being in his gaze rather than pestered or stared at. She was no stranger to being stared at by men, the object of their glances, stares, analytical looks, the inspiration for many a wolf whistle or sweet talk but here she felt different. She felt normal, happy, as if this was a daily occurrence that she shouldn't fear. Not that it felt ordinary or boring, she felt special – loved.
They walked in silence but it wasn't awkward it was peaceful and tranquil. The various village noises seemed to blow over their heads, bounce off some sort of bubble encapsulating the couple. The children's screams and their play fights; the sound of wood on wood, faded away, the various screams and commands, the noise of a series of footsteps thundering after each other just seemed to float into the blue cloudy sky.
Though they walked in peace the small journey to the wood hut was not without its events, carefully noted by each other, though each noticed different things and read differently into each experience. A couple of stolen glances, which James smirked at while Lillian blushed and on one occasion Lillian's left hand was brushed by James's right, sending sparks up her nerves and leaving her tingling all over. He felt the gentle simmer on his hand as if his hand had just touched fire. The first time their bodies had touched each other, an unforgettable moment and one that would be remembered in times to come.
As they neared the small wooden hut their pace slowed. Lillian pushed the small door open and waved James inside, showing him the secret store of firewood.
Logs were piled upon logs, it was nowhere near empty. Will made sure it was always at least half full; the carpenter took pride in his treasure trove of wood and loved to watch families pick up their logs with glee and happiness. However he was all too aware that with one swipe of the Sheriff's hand the whole hut could be razed to the ground but he tried to not dwell on such things, as long as the hut was full then the villager were more than content and in turn that made Will a happy man.
James picked up the logs closest to his feet, not wishing to appear picky. He gathered them into his strong arms and smiled at Lillian who waited at the door.
"Do I get this good service every time?" he asked cheekily
"I wouldn't bargain on it" came the reply.
Had he been concentrating James would have consciously remembered that his arms were full and his hands preoccupied and therefore wouldn't have lifted his hand to shield his eyes from the sun as he left the darker hut and re entered the sunny outdoors. As it was his mind was elsewhere and so he lifted up his hand to cover his eyes from the bright sun and in doing so dropped his logs on the ground.
They made quite a sound, only two remained in his other arm, the other three fell to the grass with a large 'bonk'. Lillian automatically jumped back slightly, protecting her toes but then lent down to retrieve the fallen wood. In doing so her lilac sweet pea fell from behind her ear and landed on the floor. She hardly felt it go, being so light but James saw the flower tumble down and reached over for it while Lillian stood straight, his three logs in her arms.
He paused slightly and then took a silent small step forward and tucked the flower behind her ear with his free left hand, Lillian stood very still and apart from the odd bird's song the only thing she could hear was their breathing, his then hers, his then hers. Filling the others gap, providing oxygen for each other's intake. An interlocking breathing pattern; in sync but ever so slightly off time.
He left his hand hovering over her face for a moment longer than necessary, staring into her sky blue eyes and she in turn stared into the depths of his stormy greys. Silently taking the wood from her arms he left her, walking slowly back to his cottage and subconsciously Lillian lifted her right hand to touch wear his left had previously been.
Alice watched her son walk back from Locksley Manor; she stood by the wooden window of her cottage watching her son walk home with his arms full of firewood.
She was back in Locksley, where she had grown up, married, had her child but for some reason she didn't feel at home. Something wasn't quite right, felt misplaced. Alice supposed it was because she wasn't here in the best circumstances. She felt bad for making Robin lie to John and she felt bad for lying too but at the same time she was angry with John. She felt that in some ways it was his fault she was in this mess.
Of course it hadn't been easy but though she never could forget John she didn't want her son having to live in his shadow, they had decided it would be easier for him to believe that his new home had always been his home and this family was his family.
It had all just been a dream. A strange dream. That's what they'd said. He hadn't been that young and naive, but persistent convincing resulted in his acceptance but a bitter sweet acceptance it was, there were times when she had wished she hadn't but the more days she lived the lie the further he fell and the harder it was to turn back.
She could tell him, he could walk through that door she could sit him down and tell him and maybe he would nod and tell her that he would forgive her that he understood. But what if he ran? What if he left her, a lonely woman by the empty fire and never returned. She couldn't lose him now, she would remain silent. She would continue to lie to keep it from him. But at one point she had to tell him, Robin couldn't cover for her forever, he said he wouldn't and he was always true to his word. But perhaps it would be better if he told James and she didn't, she couldn't imagine how she could tell him that he'd been living a lie, that she been feeding that lie to him. On the other hand she had to tell him herself, he should hear it from her rather than someone else.
Now she was back in Locksley it was bound to come out anyway, she remembered how the villagers helped her when John left to become an outlaw, they helped raise her son and keep their heads above water. They would recognise him and the truth would roll off their tongues. She should tell him now, as he came in with the wood she'd asked for. She should do a lot of things, she shouldn't have done many things but the fact remained that she still couldn't bring herself to destroy her son. She couldn't hurt him anymore.
But what if, in keeping the truth from him, she was doing him more harm that good?
So when James came into his new home, his mother's old one, he put the logs by the fireplace and smiled at his mother who looked on at him with a smile and remained silent.
And so another chance to say the truth passed Alice by and once again she didn't say a word.
The three women sat around Locksley Manor's table, a small piece of parchment was in Djaq's hand a quill laid on the table.
"I want it to be simple" she decided "Not a big fuss, just simple"
Marian nodded, her dark curls bouncing. "What about where you'll hold it? In the forest or Locksley church?"
They were discussing arrangements for the forthcoming wedding, having waited years for his proposal Djaq was wasting no time in getting the ceremony prepared.
She couldn't wait to give her life to the man she loved and she had often dreamt of the day she would do so. All she wanted was family and friends, those who were close to Will and her. She wanted it to be traditional and a mix of their two cultures. She wanted to wear a very plain simple dress, something similar to something she would have worn back in Acre; she would have Marian and Lillian as her bridesmaids, again dressed simply. She wanted to decorate the location with flowers but above all she just wanted Will, she wanted to slip the ring on his finger and be his wife.
At the end of the day of festivity all that mattered was their love. Djaq didn't want a big party covering that up.
"At first I thought the forest but Locksley is Will's home and I think he would prefer to have it there"
"Then we're decided; Locksley Church it is"
Once again the church in the village would be the location for the happiest day of a couple's life. Robin's parents had been married there and their parents, Robin and Marian had given their lives to each other at the altar and now so would Will and Djaq. Djaq couldn't think of anything more fitting.