I think we're nearing the end of this story, but I'm not too sure. I'll see what else I can come up with, but I think the big story has been told.
A couple of reviewers mentioned I could drop the flashbacks, since it's all about moving forward now. I actually like that idea, so no more flashbacks. Just looking at the future now!
Thank you for the continuing support on this story, I never thought I would be able to write a story that get's so many reviews. Sometimes I'm still a little insecure about my English, but judging from your reviews it isn't too terrible...
XX
''Nothing happened?'' Traci asked Andy, not quit believing what her best friend was saying.
''Well, we made out and slept in the same bed. But yeah, that was all.'' Andy shrugged her shoulders and sat down on the bench before her locker. ''I don't know, I guess I can see where he is coming from. Still, it was a little frustrating.''
Traci chuckled and winked at Andy. ''Yeah, I guess I can understand that.''
''Chop chop ladies, you'll be late for parade,'' Gail said when she opened the door to the locker room. She had already been ready for more than ten minutes, but her colleagues always required a little bit more time to get ready.
Andy sighed and stood up. ''Better get going.''
Andy had to walk past Sam to get to her usual seat. Sam was in the back of the parade room and brushed his hand against hers when she past. Andy sighed and tried to compose herself. She didn't hear one word Best said during parade. All she could think about was how good it felt to have Sam back in her life.
Nothing was perfect yet, they still had a million things they needed to talk about. People would judge and they would probably fight from time to time, but Andy was determined on making it work. In all the time they've spent apart, she never found anybody she could picture herself with. Every time she thought about the future, she saw Sam's face. She understood that Sam needed some time and wanted to give her the same, but her entire body craved him.
''McNally,'' Oliver's voice pulled her from her thoughts. ''Any time you are ready.''
Andy realised she missed the ending of parade, but apparently she was partnered with Oliver. ''Sorry sir,'' she muttered when she passed him. She quickly got him and herself a coffee and joined him at the cruiser.
''You okay McNally?'' Oliver asked slightly concerned. Oliver was like an uncle to the rookies, his dad instincts made him watch over all of them. Everybody in the division knew that Oliver was by far the most involved training officer.
''Yeah fine, sorry.'' Andy got into the cruiser and took a deep breath. She needed to focus.
XX
''Peck,'' Sam said as he moved past her. He tossed her the car keys and nodded. ''You're driving today.''
Gail's head snapped up and a smile formed on her lips. ''Really sir?'' she asked. One of the worst things about being trained by Swarek was that you were never allowed to drive. Ever. Gail eyed him suspiciously. He didn't look like he had a hangover. ''You okay sir?'' she asked.
''I'm good Peck, just thought it was time to see if you can handle driving.'' Sam hated sitting shot gun, but it was true. He needed to see if she was okay racing to scenes. He was in a good mood today, so he might as well let her drive.
When the end of shift arrived, Gail joined Andy and Traci in the locker room. ''Andy just a heads up, Swarek is sleeping with someone.''
Andy's eyes widened and her mouth felt dry all of the sudden. ''What?'' she managed to get out.
''He let me drive, obviously he worked out some stress last night.'' Gail shrugged her shoulders and looked at Andy. ''I'm sorry, just thought you should know.''
For someone who was apologizing, Gail didn't look to apologetic, but Andy knew that was all part of the 'Gail peck self defence method'. When she had first met Gail, she thought the girl was an absolute bitch. Now she considered her a friend. Even if Gail could be way out of line and bitchy from time to time, Andy knew it was all an act.
Traci snorted and closed her locker. ''Maybe his favorite team won last night or maybe he just had a good night of sleep,'' she filled in. ''There are more reasons to be in a good mood Gail.''
''You do realise he's a guy, right?'' Gail asked. All of the sudden she looked a little more serious and turned her attention to Andy. ''I know you still care about him, okay? So just know that maybe something is happening in his life and prepare yourself.''
Andy knew she should maybe tell Gail that Sam was with her last night, but they hadn't talked about things. Maybe Sam wanted to keep things a secret for a while, maybe Sam wasn't even that serious about this new attempt to make it work. Andy's mind was running wild and she settled for acting oblivious. ''I'm prepared.''
When Andy was on her way home, she heard someone following her. A car was driving behind her very slowly. It was dark and there wasn't anybody on the street, Andy wasn't scared, but also not completely comfortable. When the car made some more noise, Andy took a deep breath and turned around. She smiled when she saw the big silver truck. ''Hey,'' she said.
She hadn't seen Sam all day. Of course she saw him when she woke up, but he left shortly after that and they hadn't seen each other at work much. ''Hey,'' Sam said. ''Want to have dinner?''
Andy smiled and nodded. ''Yeah, sure.'' She hadn't expected him to ask her to dinner again today, but she was really happy he did.
Sam drove to a Chinese restaurant and picked up dinner. After that he drove to Andy's apartment. Andy wondered if he had something against taking her back to his place. Of course there were memories there, but she loved that house. Sam didn't say anything, so Andy decided not to bring it up.
They walked upstairs together and Andy pulled out plates to put the food on. They made small talk about their day and ate together.
When the dishes were done, Andy started fidgeting with her hands. Not being able to know where Sam's head was, that was foreign to her. Of course he was never an easy guy to read, but when they were living together, she could at least tell what was up with him most of the time.
Right now she had no idea.
Sam just stood in the kitchen looking at her. His gaze made Andy slightly uncomfortable. It felt like this was the moment he would tell her that this was all one big mistake. Andy looked down to the ground.
Sam sensed her insecurity and took a step forward. They were toe to toe when he cupped her cheek and pulled her in for a kiss. He brushed his nose against hers when the kiss ended and placed a small kiss on her forehead. ''Come on,'' he said when he tugged on her arm.
She let him lead her to the living room. He turned on the TV and sat down on the couch, pulling her down with him. Soon Andy's head was on Sam's shoulder and his arm was around her. It was comfortable and at the same time it was really not.
Sam seemed to be completely comfortable, his gaze on the TV and his hand tracing patterns on her arm. The wheels in Andy's head were doing overtime right now. She had no idea what he wanted and what this thing between them was.
She didn't ask though. Right now she would take him anyway she could have him. Even if that meant that things between them would be casual. A voice inside her head screamed that Sam and her could never be casual. There was too much past and too much heartache between them.
Still, she wasn't about to jinx things. For now she was comfortable with having him in her life again, slowly finding their way towards each other.
At least, she hoped that that was what they were doing.
''What's up?'' Sam asked. His hand stopped moving across her arm and he moved back so he could look at her.
''What?'' Andy asked back. ''Nothing, I'm fine. Why?'' She hated that he was still able to read her. She didn't even do anything and he knew that something was up.
''I can practically hear your mind going wild,'' Sam said with a smirk. ''What's wrong McNally?''
''Why do you never call me Andy?''
Sam chuckled and sat back some more. The expression on his face told her he thought she was acting crazy, but she didn't care right now. ''Why do you never call me Andy?'' she asked again. He had told her he called her McNally to keep some distance between the two of them. Right now that wasn't necessary anymore. At least, she didn't think so.
''I've always called you McNally..'' Sam said with a weird look.
At that moment Andy hated herself for even bringing it up. She and her stupid mouth always had to ruin every little thing. ''Nothing,'' she tried again. ''Sorry.''
Sam sensed that she didn't want to talk anymore, so he just sat back again and focused on the TV. After a few minutes he pressed a kiss to Andy's hair. She smiled, that was the confirmation she needed. She knew she was being an idiot, but she really did not want to get her hopes up. If things wouldn't work out this time, she would be crushed.
An hour later, Sam walked towards the kitchen. Andy was standing by the counter, rinsing a few cups. Sam grabbed her by the waist and pulled her towards him.
Andy let out a shriek and dropped a cup in the water. She turned around and met Sam's eyes. Inside of his eyes was everything she needed. He still looked at her like she was the most precious thing that ever walked into his life. No matter what happened between them, at least that was still there.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his cheek. She laid her head down on his shoulder and took a deep breath.
''You know I care about you, right?'' Sam asked her.
Andy had to stop herself from rolling her eyes, of course he knew what she had been thinking. ''I know I hurt you,'' she answered. ''I know I've got a lot to make up for.''
''Don't,'' Sam interrupted. ''Seriously, if we want this to work, we've got to stop apologizing. What happened is in the past and we're here now. Clean slate.''
Andy slowly nodded and looked him in the eye again. Sam let his thumb run over her lips and moved his hand to her cheek. He slowly leaned in and kissed her more gentle than ever before. As if she would break if he made a wrong move.
They stood like that for a few moments, both getting lost in the kiss. Sam thrust his tongue inside her mouth and Andy let out a small moan. Things became more frenzied very quickly and before she knew it Sam had boosted her up on the counter.
His hands were under her shirt and his shirt was on her kitchen floor. Andy didn't know what happened to taking things slow, but she wasn't complaining. As long as he kept doing what he was doing right now, she wouldn't ever complain again.
Sam's mouth was on her collar bone and made its way up to her neck. He licked a spot on her throat that always made her crazy. Andy grabbed his hair and pulled his mouth to hers again. She let her hands wonder over his shoulders, back and chest. She couldn't get enough of him and never wanted this moment to stop.
Sam's hands moved to cup her ass and he gently squeezed it. He grabbed both of Andy's legs and guided them around his waist. After that he pulled her off the counter and carried her towards her bedroom.
He laid her down on the bed and crawled over her. Slowly Sam lifted up the material of her shirt and placed kisses on her stomach. He propped himself up on one elbow and Andy moved up so she could get rid of her shirt. As soon as the shirt was out of their way, Sam attached his mouth to hers again.
He tried to slow down, but he couldn't. He wanted her more than he ever wanted anybody else in his life. He still wanted to take his time with her. He wanted to get to know her body all over again.
Andy let out a soft moan when Sam thrust his hips forward. Even through the layers of denim his body felt amazing against hers.
Sam took one more moment and kept his face inches from hers. ''You absolutely sure?'' he asked. When she nodded he had all the confirmation he needed.
XX
They laid with their limbs entangled. Their foreheads were pressed together and Sam's hand was running up and down Andy's bare back.
''You okay?'' he asked. He didn't plan for this to happen, but he couldn't stop himself. He didn't feel guilty about it either. Andy had told him that she was ready on more than one occasion.
''Perfect,'' Andy sighed. She kissed Sam's lips and cuddled closer to him. And it was true, everything had been absolutely perfect. There hadn't been a moment where she doubted if they were doing the right thing. There wasn't a moment where she felt unsafe or scared.
It was Sam, it was perfect.
Sam kissed her temple and went back to tracing patterns on her skin. His heartbeat was slowly returning back to normal. He cleared his throat and swallowed heavily. ''I missed you,'' he admitted. Talking about feelings wasn't his thing, but he felt like he should give her something. Something to tell her he isn't just screwing around here.
''I missed you too,'' Andy replied softly. She didn't just physically miss him. Of course that was part of it too, but mostly she just missed him. She missed her best friend. Sam always was her voice of reason, the one she went to with all of her problems.
''You should try to get some sleep,'' Sam said before he kissed her one more time. ''You've got an early morning tomorrow.''
Andy let out a yawn and knew that he was right. ''Yeah, I'm tired. You worn me out,'' she teased.
Sam smiled. ''Didn't hear you complaining.''
''Never,'' Andy said before she yawned again and closed her eyes.
When Andy woke the next morning, she was alone. She woke up slightly confused, she wasn't wearing any clothes. Then the memories of last night came flooding back. Sam had been amazing and she felt her stomach do a weird flutter thing while she thought about it.
She sat up and tried to listen for any signs of him in her apartment, but there weren't any. With a frown she threw the covers off herself and walked towards the bathroom. There was nobody there so she continued her search through her small apartment.
When she reached the kitchen she saw a note on the counter. She quickly grabbed the note and read what was on it.
Needed to leave, will explain later. Didn't want to wake you up, but I'll call you when I can.
Sam
Andy was immediately worried. What if something bad had happened? She didn't even hear him leave, but she had always been a heavy sleeper. She grabbed her cell phone and called his number, but it went straight to voicemail.
After that Andy called Traci who did pick up on the third ring. ''Hey,'' Traci started. ''You need a ride to the station?''
''Is Jerry with you?'' Andy asked, not bothering with a hello.
''Yeah, are you okay?'' Traci asked concerned.
Andy thought that Sam maybe would have gone and seen Jerry. He used to do that more often she recalled. Sometimes Jerry needed help with a case and despite the fact that Sam wasn't a detective, he always had a good eye for special cases.
''Yeah, sorry to bother you. Never mind.'' Andy really didn't want to come off as a controlling or obsessed girlfriend. She wasn't even sure she could call herself that already.
''Andy, you sure you're okay?'' Traci tried again. ''You want me to come and pick you up?''
''No, I'll walk. Seriously, I'm fine Traci.'' Andy ended the phone call and told herself not to worry. There must be a reasonable explanation for why Sam left like that.
When she reached the barn, a million options had run through Andy's head. She wasn't someone who needed to be courted, but she felt a little cheap being left like that.
She walked into the locker room and tried to avoid Traci's concerned look. ''You look pale,'' Traci started. ''Are you sick?''
Andy realised she hadn't even eaten anything yet and noticed she was feeling a little dizzy. ''Didn't eat yet,'' she explained.
Traci immediately started trashing through her locker and held out a few cookies. ''Here, better than nothing.''
When Andy reluctantly took the cookies and took a bite, she looked at Traci. Their side of the locker room was empty and all the other officers were to deep in conversation to notice them. ''I slept with Sam last night.''
''What?'' Traci yelled. '"What happened to taking things slow and getting to know each other again?''
''I don't know?'' Andy threw her hands up. ''We had dinner at my place and then it just sort of happened.''
''Okay, well.. that's not a bad thing, is it?'' Traci asked. ''Was it good?''
''Traci,'' Andy warned, not really comfortable with this conversation. When Traci raised an eyebrow Andy slammed her locker closed. ''Yeah, okay? It was amazing.''
''I'm happy for you,'' Traci said smiling.
''And then I wake up this morning, all alone,'' Andy said obviously disappointed.
''What?'' Traci yelled again. ''Where did he go?''
''I don't know,'' Andy replied. ''He left a note, something about an emergency and he'll call me. I tried calling him, but he's not answering his phone.''
Traci sat down on the bench again and scratched her nose. ''Okay, so maybe he just got a phone call and needed to leave?''
''Yeah, probably,'' Andy said. ''Or he realised he made a big mistake and he's going to let me down easy,'' she filled in the rest of her thoughts.
''Come on,'' Traci said. ''He's not a teenager anymore and I think the two of you know each other well enough to know that's not true.''
''I don't know,'' Andy softly said. ''Guess I'll find out soon enough.''
XX
She didn't find out though, because Sam wasn't even at work. Frank didn't even mention him in parade and when Oliver asked where Sam was, Frank dismissed his question. Apparently Sam had taken a personal day.
Traci shot Andy an apologetic look and disappeared to the D's office where she was assigned to. Andy stood up and walked towards Oliver and couldn't help but overhear Oliver's conversation with another senior officer.
''Wouldn't be surprised if Sammy's back undercover,'' Oliver said.
''Guy lives for guns and gangs,'' was the simple reply of the other officer.
Andy felt her eyes fill with tears and closed her eyes to keep them from falling. After a few deep breaths she felt steady enough. She walked towards the coffee station and poured two cups of coffee.
Oliver was already inside the cruiser when she joined him and he took the coffee from her. ''We've already got a call, gonna be a busy day McNally,'' Oliver informed her.
''Good,'' Andy said and she tried to focus on her job.
XX
By lunchtime Oliver was seriously concerned about his rookie. She didn't chat his ears of like she normally would, she was silent and looked like she was working through something. ''Everything okay McNally?'' Oliver asked his rookie, just to be sure.
''I'm fine,'' Andy answered. ''Just a headache.'' Obviously Sam hadn't mentioned the fact that they were trying again to Oliver. If he had, Oliver would understand her behaviour. Andy couldn't imagine Sam going off undercover after everything that happened, but maybe he wasn't the guy she knew anymore. Realisation dawned on her that they did jump into this.
Maybe he changed.
She hoped he didn't go undercover, she wasn't sure how she would handle it if he did. And if he did went undercover, he would have told her, right? Even though it's probably against the rules, Sam would have found a way to let her know.
The radio brought her back to reality and Andy responded that they would go to the scene. Work kept her distracted, so she was very thankful for it.
XX
Sam had been asleep when he heard his phone ring in the living room. Andy didn't even stir, but Sam was wide awake immediately. He always woke up with every little noise, years of training did that to him. With a quick glance over Andy's form he got out of bed. If somebody tried to get a hold of him at four am, it probably would be urgent.
''Hello?'' Sam answered. He didn't recognize the number that was calling him.
''Sam?'' Sam heard the voice of his brother in law Will. ''Sam, you need to come down here.''
Sam immediately went looking for his shirt and jeans. If Will called him there probably was something urgent going on. He liked Will, he was good for Sarah, but he wasn't friends with the guy.
''What's wrong?'' Sam asked. ''Something wrong with Sarah?''
''She locked herself and she won't let me in,'' Will explained. ''I don't know what happened, everything was fine this morning we had a sonogram.''
''Was the baby okay?'' Sam asked. He knew it took very little to upset his sister. So if something big happened, if something happened to her child, she would completely lose it.
''It was perfect, ten fingers, ten toes and now Sarah won't even talk to me, but she's having a panic attack.'' Will sounded very upset and Sam could only imagine how he must feel. Growing up, Sam had spent numerous nights calming down Sarah. Sometimes it only took someone looking at her funny for her to lose it.
Things got better and by the time that Sarah moved to St. Catherines, Sam knew she would be okay on her own. It had happened before that she had a panic attack and needed Sam to calm her, but that was a long time ago. ''Just don't touch her if she does let you in,'' Sam explained. ''I'm on my way.''
Sam took a few seconds to debate waking up Andy. She would probably have a million questions and he didn't have time for that. She was asleep now and probably needed to get some more, so he decided to let her sleep. He wrote a quick note and grabbed the keys to his truck. He needed to go.
By breaking every speed limit that was ever invented, Sam made it to St. Catherines in record time. He knew he was breaking the law, but he also knew he was an excellent driver. If someone pulled him over he wasn't above flashing his badge. If his sister needed him, he would be there.
Will seemed relieved that Sam was finally there, he opened the door and let Sam in. ''She's still upstairs,'' Will said. ''I don't know what to do, I mean I could bust the door, but I don't know if that would upset her even more. I mean, what if she gets scared of me?'' Will was rambling now and Sam put a hand on his shoulder to silence him.
''You did the right thing by calling me,'' Sam tried. ''I'll go talk to her and it will be okay.'' With that Sam moved upstairs. He first knocked on the bedroom door and made sure his voice was calm. ''Sarah? It's me, Sam. Can you please open the door for me?''
When he didn't hear any noise, Sam tried one more time. ''Sarah, I've got my lock picks with me and I'll use them.'' It was true, Sam always kept a set of lock picks in his truck. He didn't really know why, but right now he was thankful that he did.
Sarah didn't answer again, so Sam went to work on the lock. The lock wasn't much, so after just a few picks the door opened. Sam slowly walked in and closed the door again. He saw his big sister lying on her bed, she was on his side and her breathing told him she was still panicking. ''It's just me,'' Sam softly said. ''Will is still downstairs so it's just you and me.''
Sam knew better than to touch his sister when she was like this. He lowered himself to Will's side of the bed and sat down next to Sarah. ''Just breath with me,'' Sam said. ''In through your nose and out through your mouth, you can do it.''
Sam kept talking to her, telling her that everything would be okay. Praising her for doing do good on taking slow breaths and when he felt that she calmed enough, he gently pushed a strand of hair from her face. Sarah tensed for a moment, but then relaxed again. She moved to lie on her back and started crying.
Sam recognised this as an upset cry, she wasn't panicking anymore. He moved off the bed and walked over to Sarah's side. He pulled her into a sitting position and pulled her in for a hug. The Swarek's weren't exactly affectionate, but when Sarah was crying she always needed arms around her to make her feel safe. If that would help, Sam would happily oblige.
After about thirty minutes Sarah calmed again. She sniffed one more time and laid her head back on her pillow. ''I'm exhausted,'' she said.
''I know,'' Sam answered. She always was exhausted after a panic attack. ''What happened?''
''It's a girl,'' Sarah said. ''The baby.''
Sam smiled and looked Sarah in the eye. ''Okay, how do you feel about that?''
''What if I can't protect her?'' Sarah asked. If there were any tears left she would have started crying again, but she was too exhausted to even lift her own head. ''What if something happens to her.''
All of the sudden everything fell into place for Sam. Of course she was hoping for a boy. In her world girls were a risk of getting hurt. ''You'll be there for her,'' Sam softly said. ''Will will be there for her too and if anybody ever tries to hurt her, I'll find them and do a whole lot worse to them.''
''We can't protect her from everything,'' Sarah sadly frowned. ''One day she'll walk home late and there will be hundreds of people out there that are willing to hurt her. And then her life will be ruined.''
''I can't promise that nothing will ever happen to her.'' Sam decided honesty would be the best policy, Sarah wasn't stupid. ''I can promise you that her life will be so different than yours.''
''How can you be so sure?'' Sarah's voice was filled with uncertainty. ''It was so stupid, I shouldn't be pregnant. I couldn't protect myself and I'll fail protecting my baby.''
''No,'' Sam said. ''You will be the best mom ever because you know exactly how you shouldn't be as a parent. And I promise you that there will be a lot of people that agree with me on that. And if there are moments where you aren't strong enough to be there for her, she's got Will.'' Sam took a deep breath and exhaled again. ''And she's got me, this baby is going to be very loved Sarah. She's already got a different start then you had.''
''My blood pressure was too high,'' Sarah changed the subject. ''They told me to keep calm, stress isn't good for the baby. What do I do? I spent a few hours working my blood pressure up even more.''
''That's not your fault.'' Sam tried. ''You can't control your thoughts. We'll take you back to the doctor tomorrow, maybe she can prescribe you something.''
''No medicine, no more therapy and no more talking,'' Sarah angrily said.
''It worked before,'' Sam responded. ''And if it's best for my niece, you'll do it and you know it.''
Sarah closed her eyes and nodded. ''Yes.''
They talked quietly for fifteen more minutes. Sarah decided it was time to put Will out of his misery and told Sam to go check on him. Sam slowly walked downstairs and found Will pacing in the living room.
''She's fine,'' Sam said. ''She'll be down in a minute, she just wanted to clean herself up a little.''
''What happened?'' Will asked concerned. ''Is she okay? Is the baby okay?''
''They're both fine, just talk to her later not tonight.'' Sam sat down on the couch and checked his watch. Andy probably found his note by now and was wondering where he was. He probably should have woken her up, she might get the wrong idea like this.
When Sarah joined them he pushed those thoughts aside. He would deal with Andy later, he would explain and she would understand. They all sat together in the living room, Will kept shooting Sarah worried glances and she asked him to come with her for a moment.
While they were gone Sam closed his eyes for a moment. He had texted Frank he couldn't make it today when he was on his way to St. Catherines. Now he should probably call Andy to explain. When he grabbed his cell phone he noticed his battery died. With a sigh he dropped the phone on the coffee table. Andy changed her number and he didn't know her new one by heart, so he would just have to wait until he was back in Toronto.
Andy would be at work until late afternoon, so he might as well close his eyes for a moment here.
XX
When Andy walked up to her apartment she noticed the big silver truck standing in front of her building. She froze for a moment and saw Sam leaning against it. He had his eyes closed and was still wearing the same outfit she had so eagerly got him out of last night.
She tried to tell herself that she was pissed and ignored Sam. She walked towards the entrance of her building and stilled when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
''I'm sorry,'' Sam's voice told her.
''For what?'' Andy asked. She turned around and when Sam looked in her eye he knew that she was hurt. ''For sleeping with me or for leaving without a word.''
''I left a note,'' Sam defended himself.
''Thanks, I feel special.'' Andy opened the door and walked inside.
Sam didn't hesitate and followed her. ''Look, I probably should have woken you.''
''Probably?'' Andy asked frustrated. ''Do you know that there's a rumor going around that you're back undercover? I thought you just left.''
''I'm sorry, but I couldn't have known that Andy,'' Sam tried. ''I know I should have called, but my phone died.''
''Where did you go?'' Andy asked. ''It wasn't work related because nobody knew where you were and obviously you aren't undercover.''
''I wouldn't leave like that, you know that,'' Sam said getting mad now. ''Will called me that Sarah was having an attack and she needed me.''
Sam had told Andy all about Sarah's panic attacks when they were together before. ''I'm sorry,'' Andy apologized. ''Of course, you had to go if your sister needed you. Is she doing okay now?''
''Yeah, took her to the doctor this morning and she agreed that she would go and have at least a few therapy sessions.'' It had been a bit of a struggle, but Sarah understood that her well being influenced her baby now too.
''Good,'' Andy said. They reached her apartment and Andy slowly opened the door. When they were both inside Andy let out a deep breath. ''I was really worried about you,'' she told Sam.
''Sorry,'' Sam replied.
''I guess I have no right to be mad if I did pretty much the same thing to you, but even worse,'' Andy said sadly while she moved to look out of her window.
Sam walked over to her and stood behind her. ''That's in the past now.''
''Is it?'' Andy asked. ''What if it's something we can't get passed. I know you don't completely trust me yet and I get that, I do. And you were right before, we don't know each other that well anymore. This morning I even considered the fact that you slept with me as a way to get back at me or something.''
''Andy,'' Sam interrupted.
Andy put up her hand as a signal that she wasn't done yet. '"And I know that you are not like that. I know you are a good guy, but like you already tried to tell me: we've both changed.''
''Do you regret last night?'' Sam asked carefully.
''No,'' Andy immediately answered.
Relief washed through his body because he honestly couldn't have handled it if she wanted to take a step back now. If she regretted being with him then he would end up hating himself for not giving her more time to get used to the idea of them again. ''Then what?''
''I'm just scared that I'll mess it up,'' she admitted. ''I'm scared that one day you'll realize that I'm still that bitch that left you behind and that there's too much damage.''
''We already talked about this.'' Sam understood where she was coming from, but he knew he would never hate her.
''I guess I didn't get what you meant until now.'' Andy looked over the park that was in front of her building. Kids were playing careless and free and for a moment she wished she was seven again.
''Look,'' Sam started again. He waited until she faced him to finish his sentence. ''If there ever was a moment that I would hate you, it would be after you left, right?''
Andy slowly nodded and was hit with another strike of guilt.
''Yet I didn't hate you, never had never will,'' Sam explained himself. ''I can't promise you forever now, but I can promise you to try my hardest to make it work.''
''And if it doesn't?'' Andy asked.
Sam swallowed and shrugged his shoulders. ''I don't know. I just know that we owe ourselves another chance.''
Andy was happy that he didn't lie to her. He didn't try to make things better than they were. There still was a lot of work that needed to be done. There still was a lot of hurt that needed to be talked about. Right now wasn't the time for that though.
''Okay,'' she softly agreed. She walked over to Sam and closed her eyes while she rested her head against his chest. ''Next time wake me,'' she warned.
''I will,'' Sam said.
XX
So, what do you think?
If you have any comments or suggestions regarding this story, please let me know.
All advice is welcome.