Spinning Bottles

~Chapter 13 – Regrets~

"So, how'd it go?" Bella asked me when I got back to the hotel.

"Great….Wow, you look amazing," I said as I noticed the way her hair was done.

"Thanks, but…"

"See, I knew you would like the spa."

She shrugged. "It took me a while to get comfortable with having a big brawny man rubbing down my bare back…but I got used to it…Although, I think my boob might have popped out a few times. The guy was really handsy." she said casually.

I didn't respond verbally, but I could feel the jealousy creeping in, and I was sure it was written all over my face. The massage was definitely a bad idea. I didn't want anyone touching my woman like that except me.

She smiled at my disturbed facial expression. "You're so funny," she said, knowing exactly what was bothering me; we both knew she said it on purpose. "Maybe that will teach you to force me into something like that again."

"Let's just…not talk about it anymore," I said through gritted teeth, but she just giggled again. "Are you hungry? Cause we should head out if we're going to have enough time to walk Central Park."

"Ok…but aren't you going to tell me about the meeting?" she asked, refusing to let me avoid the topic.

It wasn't that I was nervous to talk to her about it; I just figured it was best to show her the condo first, before she had a chance to form an opinion on the matter.

"There will be plenty of time to talk about the meeting, but not much more time to see the city," I told her. I didn't give her a chance to protest anymore, I just grabbed her hand and towed her out of the room.

We tried to squeeze whatever sightseeing we had left into the remainder of the day, which was good because it kept her from having a chance to press the meeting topic. But then we headed back to the hotel to dress for the evening, and I managed to discreetly text Jackson to set up a time to go see the condo.

He first told me to head over right away, so I planned on telling Bella we were going to dinner and then just surprise her with the condo when we got there, but then he texted back to ask if we could push it off another fifteen minutes, which didn't make a difference to me. But the buzzing back and forth from the texting didn't go unnoticed by Bella, and once again, she came up with the wrong conclusion.

"Ok, what's going on?" she asked frustrated, and far more upset then she was trying to let on.

"What do you mean?" I played dumb.

"You hate texting, and now all of a sudden you're having a texting conversation with someone?"

"Uh…"

"I just don't get it. It just seems to me…." She let her sentence trail off, but I really wanted to know what she was thinking.

"What? Just say it," I encouraged.

She took an unsteady breath. "You know I'm not one of those jealous paranoid types….But first you were eyeing that waitress last night, then you suddenly have a spa treatment for me so you could disappear for a few hours, and then you refuse to tell me about the so-called meeting…And now you're texting."

"Hold on," I said, really thinking I was understanding her wrong. "What the hell are you accusing me of?"

"I don't know," she said on the verge of tears. "You have been so distant lately, and then we come here and you're being all secretive. I just don't know what to think anymore."

"Yes you do - You know exactly what you're thinking, so just come out with it," I urged her. I had no idea why the hell I was getting so upset, Tanya accused me of cheating all the time, but at least she was up front about it. I really couldn't stand all the innuendos, and the fact she even thought I would do something like that was a kick in the gut. For the first time since high school, I had no desire to cheat on who I was with, and I hated that she would think otherwise, especially with how close we had gotten in the past few days.

"I don't want to fight, I just want to know what's going on," she dodged my comment.

"No…say what you're thinking." When she still didn't say anything, I continued. "You actually think I went off to bang some slut waitress."

"No, I…"

"You're right, you caught me. I had sex with you this morning and twice last night, but for whatever reason, I guess I needed another fuck. So I slipped the waitress my number and told her to text me so we could meet up while you were at the fucking spa…And then I was just texting her again to make another date. Sorry, but I'm just a sex addict, it's not my fault," I said condescendingly. "I mean really Bella; do you honestly think I have the stamina for something like that?"

She just stared at me with pain plastered all over her face, and it absolutely killed me.

"Bella, I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I swear, I didn't cheat on you."

"Have you ever?" she asked, taking me aback. "Have you ever been with someone else?"

Fuck.

Those were two different questions with two very different answers, and I had no idea what to tell her. My hesitation just upset Bella even more.

"Oh my god…you have," she said brokenly.

"No…yes…"

"Yes?"

"No! Bella, you know I wasn't a virgin when we started dating. I was a teenage…horny…loser. I was drunk at that stupid Lot most of the time, and I don't even remember some of the girls I was with. I regret every single one of them, and I am so glad you came back into my life when you did… You saved me back then, you know that."

"But that's it?"

I stepped forward and cradled her face in my hands, and then looked deep into her eyes. "I swear to you, I have never cheated on you. I love you, and for you to even think…"

"I'm sorry, I know that, I'm just…I just don't know what's happening anymore." She pulled away from me, and then began pacing the room. "Just tell me what's going on."

I nodded. "I have been distant lately, but it's not about you. I just keep thinking about what life would have been like if we lived here."

"Okay?" she said slowly.

"I did have a meeting…And I was offered a job."

She stared at me in shock for a moment. "A job…here?"

"Yeah, it's for a major company here. Well, I wasn't actually offered the job, I have to go in for an interview, but I know I can get it."

"And how are you going to do that? You don't have a college degree."

"I know, but I figured all I have to do is take the test and if I pass it, I'll get licensed."

"Do you really think you can pass that test though? It's supposed to be just as hard as the Bar. You haven't studied in years."

"I can pass it," I said confidently. "And I will get the job, I know I can. The schools are amazing here, and the job comes with a condo…That's who I've been texting, the guy who wants to show us the condo," I explained.

"Hold on…this is all happening too fast. You actually expect us to all move here…like soon?"

"Yeah. I mean, it was always our dream right?"

"It was always your dream," she murmured.

"Bella, we could have really great lives here. I'll be making so much more money, it'll give Alec a new start and a chance to make some new friends, and you can finally get a real job."

"A real job?" she asked incredulously. "I have a real job, I like my job. And Alec likes his friends."

"The kid is constantly getting into trouble, new friends could only be a good thing."

"But Carlie loves her school, and what about your dad and all our friends?" she said anxiously.

"She'll love school here more, and we'll still see my dad and everyone else. With the kind of money I'll be making, we'll be able to afford to fly to Washington whenever we want. You won't even have to work if you don't want to."

"I want to work, I just like my job now," she argued.

I couldn't believe how much of a fight she was putting up about the whole thing. I felt like shit when she thought I was cheating, but now I was getting angry. She had a comeback for everything I was saying, and she refused to consider anything positive.

"You're being unreasonable," I told her. "It's like you're completely closed off to it before you've even had a chance to think it through."

"Fine, then let's think about it."

"Yes, lets… Starting with checking out the condo and driving by the school the kids would attend."

She stared at me for a minute, and then nodded. "Ok," she said quietly.

I texted Jackson, and because I was a dick, I showed Bella the text just to prove I wasn't cheating. She huffed, and then moved away from me.

When Jackson was finally able to meet us, we got into a cab and went to Manhattan to where the condo was located. God, I loved the city. The condo was just a few blocks from where my old one was, and I couldn't wait to see the inside.

Bella stayed quiet as we walked in, and I could actually feel the resentment radiating off of her.

"We're here to meet Jackson Whitman," I told the receptionist in the lobby.

"He's already here, go on up," she replied.

The tension was thick as we stood quietly in the elevator, and the fact that Bella refused to even look at me, I knew it wasn't going to go well.

When the doors opened, we walked out to the private hall and noticed that the condo was the only one on the floor…it was perfect; even Bella would have to agree to that.

"Edward, good, you found the place," Jackson said when we came into view.

"Jackson, hey, thanks for meeting us," I replied. "This is my wife Bella, Bella, this is Jackson."

"Nice to meet you," Bella said with a friendly smile and an awkward handshake. The strain between us didn't matter, Bella wasn't like Tanya, she wasn't a bitch and she wasn't about to be rude just because she was upset with me.

"Well, here, let me show you around," Jackson said.

The condo was less lavish than what I was used to, but that was the difference between a top level executive penthouse, and the nice four bedroom family condo. But for what it was, it was definitely appealing. A big open floor plan, gourmet kitchen, great views, four bedrooms, two bathrooms, and access to the roof. I was sold.

"This is awesome," I said enthusiastically when our tour was finished.

"I'm glad you like it. The school is in walking distance, and there's a great park around the block," Jackson told us.

"I can't think of anything else we would need," I added.

Jackson nodded, but then he looked at Bella. "You don't seem to agree."

"Oh, no, it's…beautiful. There's just…so much to take in, I'm a little overwhelmed."

"Well, you'll definitely need to take some time to talk it over and think it through. Moving across country is a big deal, you definitely don't want to take it lightly."

She smiled halfheartedly as a response.

"I have an idea. Why don't you guys stay here for the night…try it on for size. All the furniture here comes with the place…It's all brand new, so no one has ever used the beds, everything is clean. Just try to imagine yourselves living here, and we'll talk in the morning," Jackson offered.

"That's a great idea. Thanks J," I told him.

"Is eight am too early for you to make it in to the office for our meeting?" he asked me.

"No, that's perfect because we have a one pm flight we need to catch," I replied.

"Great, see you then."

Jackson left, and Bella and I just stared at each other uncomfortably.

"Say something," I said after a minute.

"What do you want me to say? This place is beautiful, and I can definitely see the appeal."

"But?" I prompted.

"But our entire lives are in Washington."

"We can build new lives here," I argued.

"Why? What is wrong with the way our lives are now?"

"Bella, give me a break. We are up to our armpits in debt, we live in a cramped cottage, and I work at a fucking garage. Forks is nothing but a drain; you have to see that."

A tear rolled down her cheek, but she quickly wiped it, and then turned away. She faced out the window to look at the buildings there, but I could still see her face reflected in the glass. She was terribly upset, but she was trying to control it.

"Ok," she said no louder than a whisper.

"Ok?" I asked, thinking I heard her wrong.

She took a deep breath, and then turned around. "Ok," she repeated. "If you really want this, then we'll do it. We'll take Carlie out of the school she loves, and we'll move Alec a country away from your dad and everything else that makes him feel secure. We'll change our lives completely if you need us to, because you have done nothing but support us as a family, so the least we can do is support you. What's important is the five of us staying together. Everything else we can live through."

"We can always go back if it doesn't work out," I tried assuring her. "But this will be a really good thing; you'll see."

She nodded again, and then wiped another tear. "Ok," she said somberly.

I hated that she was so upset, and I never wanted to be the reason for her to feel that way again, but at the same time, I was sure she would adapt and enjoy living in New York if she just gave it a chance. If I didn't believe it was best for all five of us, then I wouldn't pursue it so hard.

I walked over to her, and wrapped her in my arms tightly. "It'll all be great," I murmured in her hair before kissing her there. "I love you."

She held me back, and buried her face in my chest. "I love you too," she mumbled.

I moved my lips down to her neck, and she held the back of my head as I kissed her. She wasn't her usual motivated self, but she began unbuttoning my shirt just the same. I picked her up, and carried her to the bedroom. It was our last night alone for awhile, and even though Bella wasn't thrilled with the situation, we were going to take full advantage of our time there.

…..

The next morning, I kissed Bella one more time, and then got out of bed to get ready for my meeting. She was still sleeping, and I really didn't want to wake her…but she woke up anyway.

"You're leaving me here?" she asked as I was heading out the door.

"I'm just going to meet Jackson at the office. I'll be back in an hour or so."

"I think I'd rather go back to the hotel."

"Oh…well this is going to be our home, don't you want to hang out and get to know the place for awhile?"

She shook her head. "You have to get the job first."

"I will. Damn, have a little faith," I said playfully.

"Either way, our luggage is at the hotel, and we still have to leave this afternoon."

"You're right," I agreed. "Ok, get dressed and I'll ride with you back to the hotel before I go to the meeting."

"It's in the opposite direction," she argued.

"But I have to run by the hotel to get changed anyway. We might as well go together."

"You'll be late if you wait for me. I know the way, I'll just get my own cab to take me."

"You've never done that before," I said, unsure if I should leave her alone.

"Well, if I'm going to be living here, then I better get used to taking cabs places by myself," she said with a sigh.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Ok," I ran back over to her, and kissed her again. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

After hurrying to change at the hotel, I headed to my interview and felt extremely calm. I was in my element, and I was sure it would all go my way. Not having a college degree was definitely a strike against me, but there have been a few guys over the years that made it without them. It wasn't a requirement, just a preferred quality. But I could more than make up for it with my business know how, and my stellar selling skills. I wasn't worried.

But when I got to the interview, I was surprised to see Carlisle waiting to meet with me, along with Jackson. It was odd; in my world, all the hiring and firing was done by me, the CEO, but in this world, Carlisle seemed to be just as much a part of that process. Perhaps he didn't have as much faith in Jackson as he did in me.

But I knew exactly how to work Carlisle, probably even more so than Jackson. There wasn't a question I couldn't answer, and I was beyond confident as I told Carlisle and Jackson my long term ideas for the company.

Needless to say, they were impressed….well, Carlisle was anyway.

"You better watch out Jackson, Edward here is bound to take your position," Carlisle said with a laugh.

I even managed to make my lack of a degree appealing; it was all about the presentation, and that was my specialty.

So at the end of the meeting, I walked away with an even better paying offer, contingent on my ability to get my license, of course. But that wasn't a problem.

I was beaming with excitement, but as I walked out to the street to get a cab, Carlisle followed me out and asked to speak to me alone.

"Sure, what's up?" I asked him.

"I just have to say, you are exactly the kind of guy I've been looking for," Carlisle told me.

"Uh…what do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Listen, Jackson is your friend, so I don't want to talk bad about him… But the man just doesn't have what it takes. I keep him around because my niece is marrying him, but what I really need is someone like you to bring this company into the next bracket."

"Uh…ok," I said, unsure how else to respond.

"You do well in the position we're hiring you for, and in no time, you'll be promoted to Senior Vice President, and then CEO by the end of the year."

"And, what about Jackson?" I asked.

He shrugged. "You bust ass here, and I'll have no choice but to give you the position. I can't ignore the truth, he just doesn't put the time in, and if you do, then I'll have to give you his position. The board will insist."

"What if I don't want the position? What if I'm happy in the job you hire me for?" I asked curiously.

Carlisle laughed once. "We both know I'm not hiring you for that position long term. I'm hiring you because you are who I was looking for. I need someone with balls to run my company, not a coward like Jackson."

"What if I don't turn out to be everything you're hoping. I don't have a degree you know, I'm sure you can find someone else more qualified."

He shook his head. "The economy is finally bouncing back, but Cullen Enterprises still isn't doing as well as most. The more 'qualified' guys with degrees prefer to go to one of the abundance of other opportunities out there right now. I need you. Someone other companies wouldn't even consider because of your lack of experience; someone that can kick ass regardless."

I nodded. "I can definitely do that."

It was everything I had gone there to get, and more. It was better than I hoped. I wouldn't be stuck starting over in the company, I could just slip back into the top position right where I belonged. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity…well, twice in a lifetime for me, but still beyond amazing.

I reached out my hand for Carlisle to shake.

"We have an understanding?" Carlisle asked when our hands clasped.

"We definitely have that," I said with a smile. "Thanks for this amazing offer…but I have to turn it down."

"Excuse me?" Carlisle said confused. We were both shocked.

"I'm sorry, I just can't take the job," I told him.

"I don't think you understand. I'm not offering the job that you came here to interview for. I'm offering you a piece of the company. I'm offering you a life that you and your family could only dream of."

"I understand perfectly. But the thing is…I just don't have it in me. Not anymore," I said vaguely. "Thanks for your time." And with that, I walked away.

The entire thing wasn't planned. I didn't consciously think about turning it down when I did, but as I waited for a taxi, I knew doubtlessly that it was the right decision. I wasn't past doing something as low as back stabbing Jackson to get what I wanted; I had done things just as wrong in the past, it was a dog eat dog world after all…but the truth was, I wasn't that person anymore.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I couldn't do any of it. As much as I was sure that Bella would adapt eventually to the city, I knew it wasn't where she belonged.

"You have done nothing but support us as a family, so the least we can do is support you," she had told me, and I should have realized right then that moving the family was the wrong decision. I had done nothing to support that family, the other me did, and the other me was happy living in Forks with the family he created, so it wasn't right or fair to drag them all the way across the country. New York was my life, not theirs, and if I was going to fit into their world, then I needed to do it their way.

When I got back to the hotel, I was relieved to see Bella's purse sitting on the bed. I wasn't sure why, but leaving her alone in the city was far more nerve-racking than it should have been. Bella was a different type of person, she was smart and strong willed, but she wasn't streetwise, and that was more than ok. The city wasn't for everyone, and even though I would always love it, I loved Bella more. She was willing to change her whole life for me, but it was me who needed to change, and I felt like I could finally accept that wholeheartedly.

"Bella?" I said while knocking lightly on the bathroom door.

"I'll be right out," she called back. When she opened the door, she looked like she had been crying, which just reaffirmed my decision that much more. I was such an insensitive prick for putting her through all that.

I wrapped her in my arms, and she just held me back tightly.

"Did you make it back here ok?" I asked without letting her go.

"Everything was fine," she mumbled into my chest, but then she pulled away and took a step back. "Congratulations," she said unexpectedly.

"For what?" I asked confused.

"You got the job…That's really amazing, I'm proud of you."

"Wait, how do you know that?" I asked confused.

"You left your cell here, and it was buzzing like crazy so I checked it thinking it was you trying to find it. But it was Jackson. He was texting to let you know how excited he is to be working with you."

I didn't even realize I had left my phone, but I wished I hadn't. I really wanted to tell Bella that I didn't get the job, just so she wouldn't feel bad about me turning it down, but I suppose honesty was always best.

"I turned it down," I told her.

"What?...Why?" she asked concerned.

"Bella…you and the kids, you belong in Forks….we belong in Forks. I know that now. I guess this was just a stupid…pipe dream."

"No, a pipe dream is something unrealistic, but you got the job. Edward, we'll be fine…I just need time to get used to it."

"No you don't. Bella, I already turned it down. Trust me, it's for the best."

"I don't want you to go through your life with regrets. You'll just start resenting me, and then…"

I pressed my lips to hers to shut her up. I needed to make her understand, and it wasn't going to happen if she kept talking. I kissed her for a minute, and then I pulled back but kept my hands on her arms.

"I love you, and I don't want to change our lives. I got there and listened to the offer, and realized it just wasn't going to work. You're right, there's nothing wrong with our lives the way they are, and changing things is just…crazy."

"We could make it work here," she said feebly, and fighting off a smile. She was happy we weren't staying, even if she refused to admit it.

"We could," I agreed. "But I would be working all the time, and hardly get to see you guys. That's not what I want. Our lives aren't about the job I do, but I think that if we stay here, that will change. I'm not willing to risk it. I'm not willing to work longer than necessary to get by, because our lives won't wait. And I don't want to miss any of it."

"We're really going home?" she asked with contained enthusiasm.

I smiled widely. "We're really going home."

****So what do you think of Edward's decision? Is he really turning around for good? - We'll see ;)

I can't work for peanuts, but a review would sure be tasty! *This is me begging* LOL!