Emiya blinked as he once again came back to a familiar setting. The last thing he could even recall was staring at something that wasn't a human head and the split second feeling of pain coming from his chin. Knowing the drill by now, he glanced up to see the Dojo's name.
Welcome to the Nobu Dojo!
As Emiya wondered who (or what) was Nobu, he heard the full blown chunnibyou laughter of a young girl coming from behind. Turning around he saw a short nearly flat chested girl with long black hair and red eyes wearing a mini skirt and a red T-shirt with the word 'BUSTER' splashed across the chest area.
"Welcome," the girl stated with as much 'oomph' her body could give, "I am Servant Demon Archer, Oda Nobunaga!"
The sounds of fanfare appear as two...beings...that seem like some cartoony version of Oda appeared on each side of her and shot their confetti cannons into the air as she laughed again for effect.
"Now," she said as she pointed towards the readers, "You may wonder why I am dressed in my Berserker form when I am still a Demon Archer is quite easy to explain..."
The view zooms up to her face as her eyes changed into from red to white holes that took over half her face.
"BECAUSE IT'S SUMMER AND ARMEDLORD 2.0 GOES AND WORKS IN A PLACE THAT CAN BE CONSIDERED AS A HOT DESERT AREA ALONG WITH BEING IN AN EVEN HOTTER KITCHEN FOOLS! I'M PRACTICALLY MELTING OUT HERE! GET ME SOME WATER DAMN IT!"
The view zooms out to see more of her form as she closes her eyes, gives out a couple of coughs and reopens her once again red eyes.
"As much as I would love to toot my own horn," Oda said with much glee, "we probably should discuss about your dead end before I turn into a melted form of a Nobu. In fact, from the previous chapter of Man off the Moon, Armedlord 2.0 tried making a dojo omake before this one as well, but couldn't get more than a few sentences due to not being good with BB and her 'daughters' as a whole."
A sign with the words 'Stay on topic!' whizzes towards her head, only to be easily caught between two of her fingers.
"HA!" Oda crowed, "I have 4th wall breaking powers so I know everything! And we are on topic! This is a Bad End Dojo, we're in an omake and I am talking about dead ends! There's no off topic! In fact, I believe I've nabbed the script for that scrapped omake before Armedlord 2.0 threw it away in shame."
Oda pulls out a few sheets of paper that's been waterlogged, burnt and many, many cuts in several places.
"I do wonder just how it got to such a state," Oda said with a bit of confusion. She then perks up as if in response to her inquiry, fog began to cover the dojo hiding everything from view. "Oh? A flashback is coming? While the special effects to do it is bland, there are more important things to do! Onwards flashback!"
The fog clears away, revealing a chubby asian man with greying hair who was currently playing Azur Lane on his tablet, Langrisser on his other tablet, FGO on his smartphone, Utawarerumono: Mask of Truth on his PS4, Summon Night 5 on his Vita, Octopath Traveler on his Switch, a book about Ciaphas Cain on his lap and typing away on his computer all at once. A sloppy title exclaiming the man to be 'Armedlord 2.0: The Lazy Bastard'.
"Hmmm," Oda's voice appeared out of nowhere, "I guess he forgot to tip the man or something."
The sound of a door opens and three girls, a redhead, a brunette and a bluette* walks in. The titles in blazing red, green and blue reveal their names respectively: Hikaru Shidou, Fuu Hououji and Umi Ryuuzaki. As the trio of girls were walking towards Armedlord 2.0, everything suddenly stops as the sounds of heavy footsteps appear and the panting of a man echoes into the background.
"Magical Girls!" The voice of Edward Teach sounds out, "He met with Magical Girls and not tell me about it?!"
"Teach!" Oda's voice echo's again, "Don't interrupt the flashback!"
"But Magical Girls!" Teach ranted, "I need to get autographs and then to lickly licky them!"
"...Show your corpse to the Three Thousand Worlds...Demon Descent! Behold, the Demon King's Three Line Formation!"
The sounds of a high pitched girly scream as well as a thousand muskets sound off in the background. Moments later, the sounds of combat end to return to near silence.
"Okay! Teach is disposed! Back to the flashback!"
Hikaru was the first to reach the man's back, placed her hands on her hips as asked what was a very serious question to her.
"Why haven't you been playing Super Robot Wars T recently?"
"The fuck dude!" Armedlord 2.0 yelped as he turned his chair towards the trio, "How'd you get into my room?!"
"Just answer my question!"
Flinching at the response, he glanced at all that he was doing before staring back into Hikaru's red eyes.
"Well first off," Armedlord 2.0 began, "I do have a job and that job limits my free time to two days. Secondly, I have this huge backlog of games so I'm taking turns in playing them. Your turn will come again in a month or two so don't worry."
At this, Hikaru, Fuu and Umi clasps their hands together, gave a teary eyed expression and got close enough to be face to face with him.
"But, but we've been a wish for the fans of the Super Robot Wars series for twenty years! Don't you want to see us preform? Also the game we are in also includes Cowboy Bebop, Martian Successor Nadesico, G Gundam and Gunbuster! All anime that you had watched when you were younger! Don't you want to see how much such a crossover meshes into a game?"
"Look," As Armedlord 2.0 lifted up his arm and aimlessly poked Hikaru, "I said that I'll get to you and SRW T later, so you don't have to- uh oh."
His interruption of his own words were because his aimless poked her rather small chest area.
"Sorry!" He said in alarm as hastily removed his finger and brought both arms in the 'stop' gesture, "I didn't mean to touch your nearly flat chest and- Aw crap!"
As if fate wanted him dead, his hands were conveniently placed on Umi's and Fuu's chests. Any intelligent thought vanished and led to the first thing that led to his mind as a fierce aura of red, green and blue erupted from the girls.
"...I suppose it helps that I don't go after Jailbait?"
"Honoo no Y-"
"Midori no Shi-"
"Mizu no Ry-"
The flashback stops with the image of Armedlord 2.0 grinning stupidly as bolts of flame, water and wind were about to hit him. The image seems to tilt from the bottom right as it has Oda Nobunaga coming from that area from grabbing its edges and tossing it away, revealing that the entire flashback was being shown from a flat screen TV. In the background is a badly wounded Teach crawling away to find a medkit.
"AH HA HA HA!" Oda laughed, "So that's why he looks like a mummy for a few days!"
The view changes towards what appears to be Armedlord 2.0 in several bandages, while giving Oda the middle finger, before going back to Oda who was looking to the side.
"Oh come now," Oda said as she took of her clothes to reveal her swimsuit, put on some sunglasses, changed her nearly flatless breasts into C+ cup sized in an instant and gave them an experimental squeeze," You know you love me!"
Nodding in satisfaction from the blood that erupted from off view, she turned back to Emiya, who was resigned at merely being the readers view point by now.
"Now back to how you got YOUR dead end here Emiya," Oda said between giggles, "You died because you took a few seconds too long staring at the 'head' of the Geth that you didn't bother to look down at the 'body' that was still aiming at you, thus killing you. Next time, just take a look down to avoid that fate."
At that the light begin to darken, shocking Oda.
"WAIT!" She cried out in panic, "The omakes over already?! I didn't even get the chance to promote for the summer events that include me! Come back!"
The last thing Emiya saw in mind before it turned to complete darkness was Oda rapid firing both the rerun of the first Summer event and then the second one with heated gestures.