Cas takes the long way home from Dean's house. Walking helps him concentrate, and the fresh air and open space keeps him from throwing up. He had known that if he pushed Dean then Dean would push back and away but imagining it happening and having it actually happen are two different things and one hurts more than the other. When Cas finally gets home Anna is sitting by the stove heating up some milk to make hot cocoa. He knew that if Anna saw him, then she would know something was wrong, she always knew. He tries to make his way upstairs silently, to keep from being noticed, but it was already too late.

"Hey, Cassie." Anna says softly, using the pet name that she only uses when he is upset.

"Hello Anna" Cas tries for a happy smile but falls short.

"Come here, I've made us some hot cocoa if you want some" She says as she pours the milk and chocolate into two mugs.

"No th-"

"Well, I've already made it so man up and have a drink with me." She says in a motherly tone.

"Alright" Cas says as he unwillingly makes his way over to grab one of the two cups that have been filled to the rim with a hot sweet-smelling liquid.

"So what's on your mind, and don't tell me 'nothing' because, both, you and I know it's not nothing"

"Anna! No!" Anna gives Cas a face that says she's not kidding around and Cas throws his hands up in defense. "Fine! Whatever! You want to know what's wrong? Well, let's see, where do I even begin!?" And Cas begins to tell Anna everything that has happened in the last week of his life not sparing any details. When Castiel finally finishes, they sit in silence, sipping on what's left of their cocoa. After a few minutes pass Anna looks up at Cas with a small smile.

"You know that you're going to have to rebel don't you? You're going to have to go against his wishes." She says matter-of-factly.

Cas looks up surprised, and he can't help but smile back, "What do you have in mind?"

After Cas left, Dean went straight to his dads liquor cabinet. With his brother gone to some friend's house and his dad at work he was left alone and empty and needing a distraction. He grabbed the first bottle he could find and he didn't care if his dad found out as he began to gulp down the whisky, nothing could feel worse than what he's feeling right now. He couldn't even keep Cas for a whole week, there he goes again, ruining anything that is good in his life. He laughs bitterly and drinks until his mind goes woozy and his legs get wobbly and he can see the world turning around him. Now, everything looked as wrong as he felt it was. Just as he is about to pass out on his couch there is a loud and hard knocking on the door. He considers leaving it but he can't sleep with the insistent banging noises so he slowly pushes himself up, almost falling on his face in the process. Maybe it's Cas', I'd like for it to be Cas I want to see Cas, Dean thinks as he grabs for the door handle and whips it open. He almost sobers up as his fear and adrenaline shoot up.

"Yur nt Cas" Dean stumbles over the words.

"Oh no! I'm not? Well, I'm so not sorry" Alastair says with fake dejection in his voice.

"Perfec' timin'" Dean says in an unsure voice that his drunken self can't seem to control.

Alastair pushes through the door and Dean has to lean on the wall to keep from tumbling over. A headache is starting to form and he needs to sit down or he's going to throw up.

"I always do Dean, my boy" Alastair replies in a tone that stings with 'sweetness'.

"Lisen, Alastair," Dean can hear himself talking but it's as if he is miles away, watching someone else deal with this. "m'out, said m'out"

"Now you know it's not that easy, you of all people should know!" Alastair says scornfully. "Why don't we have some more fun? Would little Cassie approve of this behavior?"

"Dn't say anything about Cas, dn't you say a damn thin!" Dean gets up to grab at Alastair but he is falling to the floor before he can do anything more. The last thing he sees before he closes his eyes is Alastair looking down on him with a malicious smile on his lips.

When he opens his eyes the first thought that comes to mind is, Damn, someone needs to clean those dishes. He tries to get up out of where he's sitting but his hands and feet are tied to the dining room chair. That's weir-

"Good morning sleepy head! Well, I guess it's still night time but that's just another minor detail" Alastair laughs

And then everything starts rushing back, fast, even the headache is coming back.

"What are you doing?" Dean asks through the throbbing in his head.

"Having a last little play date before you say goodbye, remember?" Alastair says as if it's obvious.

Dean feels a little bit more sober than when he passed out and he finally notices the shining object in Alastair's hand. His heart starts racing again and he can feel his hands involuntarily trying to yank free from their bindings, he knew it would make Alastair happy to see him squirm but the urge to break free overpowered his mind as his body went into survival mode.

"No, no, no Dean, now you already know I tied those up nice and tight so why don't you just sit there and try and enjoy this a little"

Dean makes a disgusted sound as Alastair and his sickening grin, draws nearer to him. He watches as the knife grazes over the previous cuts in the same way that Cas' lips had only hours earlier, only these weren't warm and soft touches, they were cold and stinging. When Alastair finally presses harder into Dean's skin, he see's blue, just blue, everything is blue and nothing hurts.

A/N: Shit I'm sorry, I'm going to write all night and have the next chapter out to you tomorrow night I promise! I'll make it up to you 3 *whispers* don't hate me