"How have you been?" he asked as he cut his meat,

"Fine," she answered quietly. She continued to move her food around her plate, not eating anything. Every so often she'd slip some to Black Hayate under the table when she thought Roy wasn't looking. But she didn't really care if he noticed.

"The food is delicious," he offered lightly, knowing she really didn't feel like talking but sensing she didn't want to sit in silence either.

"Thank you sir,"

Her apartment was practically empty, a cautionary measure she had taken upon herself. She was convinced her fate was sealed and ddn't want to be a burden to anyone. Her selflessness left an uneasy feeling in Roy's stomach.

But they weren't talking about that.

But maybe they needed to talk about that.

"I think you may be acting too prematurely, captain,"

"I thought you didn;t want to talk about tomorrow,"

"I don't," he said. He really didn't, he'd lost enough sleep over the matter as it was. "But as difficult as it is for me, well I can't imagine what you're going through."

"I came to terms with it long ago," she stated, putting down her fork. "We both knew this day would come, I don't see why you're so prone to avoiding it. I've been getting my affairs in order. Most of my things I'm giving to charity, the rest I've divided among my friends and colleagues. Rebecca and Havoc can split my guns, my boos are going to the Elrics, and I'd lie Black Hayate to go to you, if you-"

"Stop," he pleaded. "Stop talking like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you're… dead."

"I'm simply being practical."

"Well stop," he didn't know what else to say, really. "I know you feel guilty, I understand that feeling, but you can't predict the future, Hawkeye. So stop acting like it's already been decided."

"You're acting somewhat irrational, sir,": she said calmly.

"Within reason, I think," he said. "The woman I've known practically my entire life insists that this is the last time I'll see her alive and she won't even allow me to speak on her behalf and possibly save her life."

"I don't want you to do me any favors," she said simply. "I want the fate I have earned, whether or not its positive. I intend to repent for my sins, and you know I won't forgive myself if I'm sentence to anything less than that."

"I know,"

"Now it's getting late sir," she stood up and walked over to the door. "We both certainly need our sleep, so I think it's best if you go."

He got up begrudgingly and followed her over as she opened the door for him. He simply couldn't wrap his hand around the idea. If fate followed the path she saw fit, this would be the last time he'd ever see her. This was to be their last farewell. After all they'd been through, it just didn't seem fitting.

She wasn't letting on just how hard it was for her, knowing Roy would try even harder to step in.

She saluted him, something she never did in her own home. "Thank you sir, for everything."

He stood there for a minute looking at her, taking effort to memorize her face, the way the light hit her, the sound of her voice. It was all too surreal for his liking. Losing her was never an option, it was always an impossible factor in his mind. He had always thought they'd go down together, but here she was marching off solo.

He embraced her, fighting the heard her inhale sharply, indicating she was doing the did not return the embrace, which he expected. She didn't want to make it harder on herself to say goodbye.

"I should be the one thanking you," he whispered as he let go. He saw her eyes fill with unshed tears and knew if he didn't leave now then he never would. The door close behind him and he heard a thump, she had punched the wall. He knew neither of them would get any sleep.

Tomorrow Riza Hawkeye would stand trial for her crimes in Ishval.

Roy's trial had been a few months earlier where his efforts to in the restoration project saved his life. The same result had followed many soldiers; most of the soldiers who did not feel guilty for their actions years ago had already been sentenced by their own military long ago or were gone. Many were just following orders they did not understand and had since done as much as they could to right their wrongs.

Riza Hawkeye's trial was expected to be different.

She requested that their be no character witnesses, no one to talk her up or defend her, she wanted her actions to speak for themselves. She wanted no interference in receiving her fate. She alone got herself into this and she alone would suffer the consequences.

"Captain Riza Hawkeye, you stand here today on trial for your crimes against the innocent during the uprising in Ishval." stated the judge. "How do you plea?"

"Guilty, your honor," her voice was steady and professional as ever.

"Very well," the judge went on. "Have you anything to say before we begin evaluating the case?"

"Only that as much as I regret my involvement in harming the innocent, I know that nothing I do can truly make up for what I have done," she said. "I believed I was doing the right thing, only to realize the opposite too late. I do not come here for sympathy, only justice. I would also like the jury to assign me punishment for any casualty caused by the Flame Alchemist Roy Mustang, as the alchemy abilities he used to take the lives of countless Ishvalans happened because of information provided by me."

"Very well, Miss Hawkeye, we will begin with questioning."

And so it began. Riza relieved every moment of Ishval in horrific detail. How she felt after her first kill, the screams that still haunted her nightmares, the orders she wanted to oppose but followed anyway. She forced herself to stare at the jury, not so they could see the pain and regret in her eyes, but so they knew she knew she deserved no sympathy. She had carried this pain with her for so long and she wanted nothing more than for it to be gone.

This why she seemed so distant.

This is why she didn't allow herself to get attached.

We live in a world where we pull the trigger and someone dies.

We face consequences.

The world keeps turning.

The jury left to make their decision.

When they say your life flashes before your eyes, they're right. Well, not your whole life, just key moments. Things you regret, things you'll miss, things you love. Roy Mustang was all of these things.

"Ya know, my father has had a bunch of other apprentices before you," said a young Riza dragging a stick along the fence as Roy walked beside her.

"Yeah he mentioned that," he said with a sigh. "Said they never last long. But I'm not leaving so easy, your father has trained some amazing alchemists, and I plan to be one of them."

"Well, don't let this go to your head, but you're one of my favorites,"

"Was that a compliment?" he joked. "I'm touched."

"Shut up," she said with a laugh, pushing him. "I'm serious. My dad's really protective of me and I don't really have a lot of friends and all his other pupils were just so… different. I guess. They acted like they were too good to talk to me or like I was supposed to serve them. But not you. You actually seem a little scared of me."

"It's not you so much as your aim," he said. "You're not like other girls I've met.":

"What's that supposed to mean?" she stopped walking, her tone defensive. "What's wrong with other girls? Maybe I am like them. You don't know."

"No, not like that!" he said quickly. "I don't mean, oh gee. I don't mean like… it's just that, I feel different talking to you than I usually do around girls. Around anyone really. It's easier to talk to you, but also harder. Does that make any sense?"

"No." she said as she continued walking. "But I like it."

"Hey, listen, I got you something," he said, reaching into his pocket. "Kind of a thank you for helping me study and stuff." He pulled out a small box and placed it in her hand. She opened it.

"Earrings?"

"Yeah, cause you got your ears pierced. Do you like them?"

She wasn't really used to getting presents. They were simple little studs. nothing to gush about, but it wasn't even her birthday and he had gotten her a present. He got her these because he was grateful to her, he had saw them and thought of her. To her, they were beautiful. She stopped and put them in her ears.

"How do they look?"

"Perfect," Roy said with smile. Riza looked at the boy before her, she had known him for about a year but she had never really noticed how goofty his smile was. Maybe it was even cute. Was she allowed to think he was cute? Had he always been cute? He was 17, a year and a half older than her and she decided that he was cute. A boy she thought was cute had bought her jewelry.

"Thank you," she said, suddenly feeling shy, having come to this realization. She leaned forward and kissed him gently on the cheek, just as he had done to her months before as a joke.

But this was no joke. Riza thought the action harmless, it was what you were supposed to do in a situation like this. But Roy apparently did not know this and thus turned beet red. Riza laughed as he froze and turned a shade deeper.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," his voice was raspy and uptight, like he was trying not to cough. "I just didn't know you were going to do that."

"Oh," had she done something wrong? "I'm sorry."

"No, don't be!" he exclaimed, waving his hands frantically in front of him. "I mean, if I knew you were going to kiss me, I would've bought the matching necklace! I just… I know I tease you sometimes… but, I really like spending time with you and I thought, maybe if you wanted to you and I could, ya know…"

Roy Mustang was usually very gifted when it came to public speaking, a trait that would follow him later in life, but the young girl before him was beyond words in his opinion. His heart and brain couldn't agree on the right thing to say, so the result was stammering. Riza Hawkeye was luckily very good at filling in the gaps in Roy Mustang's thoughts, even early in the their relationship. And she had no trouble helping him, being straightforward even as a young girl.

"Oh, you like me," she said simply, putting the pieces together. Roy's heart nearly leapt out of his chest. How could she just say it like that?

"What?! How did you know?" he asked a little too loudly. "I mean, no I don't. No, yes I do. I mean…"

"No, I know what you mean," she said with a light smile. Practical Hawkeye, as ever. "You like me, It's okay, I'm not making fun of you. I'm flattered, kinds of things happen all the time, especially since we spend so much time together."

She read him like a book. He looked at her, partly amazed partly embarrassed. "Well.. yeah!" he said at last. "So?"

"So what?"

"Ah, c'mon Riza don't do this to me," he wailed dramatically. "If you're gonna let me down let me down easy. I can take it!"

"It's a conflict of interest," she said plainly. "I can't be a distraction to your studies. If I want to keep you around, you have to keep up with my father's lessons."

"So that's a 'no' then?"

"It's a 'not right now', I guess," she said. "I mean, maybe if you had gotten me the matching necklace, things could be different…"

He absolutely lost it. He started to laugh and nearly fell over. She always did that to him and he loved it. "I suppose that's fair," he said at last, wiping away a tear. "But I like that part about you wanting to keep me around. I must be growing on ya."

"I suppose you could say that," she said coyly. "I mean, you were my first kiss."

Flustered, Roy nearly fell over his own feet. "What? When?"

"Don't you remember?" How did she say these things with such calmness? "A couple of months ago, over there you kissed me. We were shooting cans off the fence with a slingshot."

He did remember. It had been more of as a joke really, a way to distract her. They were just messing around, though he had enjoyed it, and it had only been on the cheek.

"Yeah, but that doesn't count," he said a tad bit awkwardly. "That was only on the cheek."

"Well then how does it count?"

"Well, ya know…" Was she doing this to him on purpose? She really knew how to get his goat.

"No, I'm afraid I don't. Can you show me?"

His eyes widened, this was all happening so fast. He couldn't tell if she was being serious or was just playing him. "Um, I don't…"

"It's okay, you can kiss me," her voice sweet and genuine. As much of a planner as Roy Mustang was, this was never something he thought to plan. Riza however preferred it that way. Roy still looked uncertain, as if the whole thing could still blow up in his face. Riza raised an eyebrow as she suppressed her laughter.

"I dare you to," she said, in the tone they used whenever they were competing.

"What?" asked Roy in disbelief.

"I mean,if you don't want to that's fine," said Riza as if she couldn't care less what he did. "But if you're too chicken, then I guess there's really nothing I can-"

She was cut off by him pressing his lips against hers. It was a bit clumsy, he was fairly nervous, but it was sweet. It was gentle, even though he sort of lunged at her. He felt her smile, signaling that she was pleasantly surprised. It wasn't very long, though it felt like it to him. When he pulled away, he was blushing furiously. He avoided looking at her directly but he could see she was smiling with her eyes, attempting to remain cool.

"W-was that okay?" he asked quietly at last, not yet grown into his ladies man persona.

"It was nice," she said. They started to walk again, picking up the pace. she discreetly put her hand in his as they made their way home. "But, like I always say, practice makes perfect."

She often wondered how different things would be if they had stayed like that. Maybe they were meant to be childhood sweethearts, to live a normal life and never take part in this madness. But there came a time where her little crush became much more than that, and not simply in the romantic sense. Protecting him meant a lot of sacrifices, all of which were worth it in the long run. But she often found herself missing the simplicity of those days. They would often reminisce, but they barely mentioned this part of their shared past. Maybe because this art wasn't entirely in the past.

But she allowed herself to take comfort in this memory as her fate was decided. A part of her wished Mustang was there to distract her or maybe hold her hand when no one was around. But she had made the decision to do this alone so her memories would have to do.

"Captain Riza Hawkeye, the jury has reached a verdict."

Her blood stopped cold.

Roy paced back and forth on the steps of the courthouse, this was as close to the trial as Riza would let him get. How long could this go on? His trial hadn't gone on nearly this long, and he felt he was guilty of much more. This couldn't be good.

He couldn't imagine his life without her, he always believed that when they went down it would be together. How could he carry on? How could she act so calm? Why was she forced to be the brave one?

"You know Miss Hawkeye, you've always been extremely clever," said Roy as he followed her into the room. The days of addressing one another informally had died, the death of her father and Roy enlisting in the military confirming everything between them would change. "I've always wondered why you never became an alchemist."

"Not for lack of trying on my father's part," she admitted. "But if I ever did take an interest in the field, I most likely wouldn't choose to study under my father and he would never stand for that."

"No I suppose not," Roy said lightly. This was new territory for them, they weren't children anymore but hey weren't necessarily adults either. Were they friends or merely future strangers? "I often imagined what kind of code your father would use to hide his research, were you able to understand any of it?"

"Well I haven't exactly seen the notes," she said solemnly. "I merely know where they are."

"Knowing your father deciding them certainly should be interesting,"

"I suppose so," she said quietly. "When the information was entrusted to me, I swore to myself and my father that only someone worthy would ever see it. Just know I trust you, Mister Mustang, more than anyone."

"An honor I do not take lightly," he said. "I intend to do right by you, Miss Hawkeye."

"I believe you," she said as she began to unbutton her shirt, His eyes widened, what was she doing? Didn't they agree that they couldn't do this? Was it because she was emotional? Because she would miss him? Was she-

Then he saw it.

She stood there silently, her arms crossed as she allowed him to take it it. It was large and intricate and had clearly been painful. Her body language confirmed that she had not wanted to be a part of this. He felt like he was going to be sick. He didn't know what else to do. This was the same bright eyed girl who stayed up late to help him study. Who could make him laugh without even trying. Who wasn't afraid of anything. Whose smile sent shivers up his spine. And she had been hurt and he hadn't even known. He wanted to embrace her, apologize that this happened to her, but everything seemed inappropriate.

"Just promise me something," her voice trying not to crack. "Your notes will be much less complicated."

She inhaled sharply as she let the door shut behind her. Her heart felt heavy and light at the same time, as if a weight had been lifted from it but it wasn't used to not being held down. Was she happy, was she sad? What was she supposed to be feeling?

"Riza!" she heard him exclaim, his voice excited and desperate. It had been years since he had used her first name, but never had he said it with such emotion. To hell with formalities.

He ran to her with great force, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close to him. She allowed herself to return the embrace and before she knew it they were both sobbing. Still in the embrace, they fell to their knees.

"Sir please," she said, trying to stop crying. "The fuhrer can't be seen crying in public You know you're useless when you're wet." She tried to wipe the tears from his eyes as he looked at her. She tried to smile for him but she still wasn't sure how to feel.

"I'm more useless without you," he said pushing her hands away and pulling her back into the embrace. She allowed it. They sat like this for awhile on the courthouse steps, oblivious if anyone else passed by.

"Marry me," he whispered after a while, so quietly she almost didn't hear him. But she did. "Marry me. I can't lose you. Life's too short. I almost lost you. Riza-"

She pulled away to look at him. His face had never been so distressed, what a fool of a man to just cry in public where anyone could see. He was her fool, though. She allowed herself to cry with him. It was as if her life had started all over, and maybe it had.

"I love you,"

"I know."