Chapter 13: Reflections

When Murdock got back to the Hostel, Craig was waiting for him. It was early evening and the team had already gone out to eat.

Craig was anxious to know how things had been left with Kami. Murdock reassured him that he wasn't about to run out on his sister. In fact – as it turned out – quite the opposite!

Craig gave a huge sigh of relief. His face lit up with delight when Murdock told him about the proposal.

"I knew you were the one!" he exclaimed. "I knew right from the start!"

Murdock chuckled for a few seconds and then became serious again.

"Kami was lucky she had you, Craig," he remarked. "You did an amazing job with her. It couldn't have been easy."

A dark shadow appeared on Craig's face.

"I'll never understand why a father would treat his family that way, Murdock," he replied sadly. "What would drive a man to do that?"

"I don't know, muchacho," said Murdock, wishing he could give the young man some sort of comforting explanation.

"Do you know why I don't have any children?" continued Craig. "It's because I was scared I would end up like him. I didn't want to make my children suffer the way Kami and I did."

"I think you've proved you're nothing like him, Craig," retorted Murdock. "Kami told me how you looked after her and how you stood up to your father and took your share of the beatings to protect your mom. You couldn't have tried much harder."

"I just wish I could have done more sooner," he sighed. "The worst part of it all was when we were put in the Care Home. I never knew what state I would find Kami in when I came back from college. Usually she'd be in her room just staring at the walls with a half empty bottle of Vodka by her side. Or she would have over-dozed on sleeping pills and we would have to rush her to hospital. Other times she would have cuts on her wrists and I would have to bandage them up for her."

Craig stopped as his emotions got the better of him. Murdock could see the tears welling up in his eyes. The strain and burden he had carried around with him for the past 20 years suddenly erupted like a volcano from his body.

"She was only 13, Murdock!" he cried out, his voice full of anguish and torment. "Only 13!"

Murdock put his arms round Craig and held him until finally he had no more tears left to cry.

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When the team came back to the hostel they found Murdock sitting on his own in the dark. Craig had gone back to visit Kami for the last time that day.

"Jeez Murdock!" exclaimed Face, almost jumping out of his skin when he realised he was sitting in the armchair. "What you doing sitting there in the dark?"

Murdock looked up at his best friend and Face was worried when he saw him looking so serious and thoughtful. There was no sign of the usual playful sparkle in his eyes or the zany, infectious smile.

"I was just reflecting on what a total selfish, self-centred dumb-ass I've been!" he quipped back angrily.

The three men were rather taken back by his uncharacteristic aggressive tone.

"What's happened, Captain?" asked Hannibal.

"I've just found out that Kami's father was a low down, good-for-nothing drunk, who beat his wife and son and abused his daughter!" snapped back Murdock.

Everyone looked at him in shock. Murdock immediately regretted his outburst. Getting angry wasn't going to help Kami. She needed somebody strong and reliable to depend on.

Besides, Murdock knew that some of the anger was directed at himself. There had been no time to think about Kami in their whirlwind relationship. He had dragged her through all his hardship and she had put her life on hold for him time and time again.

But he always knew there was a reason why she so completely got him. Why she could read his every thought and found it very easy to be part of his fantasy world.

He thought back to the times when she would scowl at BA for calling him a crazy fool. And the way she was completely at ease when she came to visit him at the Psychiatric Unit when he had his breakdown. They were cut from the same mould and shared the same dark thoughts and misgivings.

He suddenly remembered that the guys were in the room. He could see by the looks on their faces that their worst fears had been confirmed. He relayed the grim details to them and they all felt the pain and heartache that Kami and Craig must have gone through. The brother and sister had very much become a part of their dysfunctional family and they felt very protective towards them.

When they next saw Kami at the hospital, they were careful not to make too much fuss because they knew she wouldn't want their sympathy. It was enough for her to know she still had their support and friendship without having to voice their feelings.

When Murdock announced that they were going to get married, a big "whoopee!" resounded round the room. It had always been written in the stars from the first day that their pilot had met Kami that it was a match made in heaven. It was their destiny to be together and after what they had both been through in their lives they deserved to have their little bit of happiness.