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Lethal

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"Should I kill him?" Azula asks, letting the sheets pressed against her skin loosen. She is much too involved in this conversation to pay attention to such things. "I'll keep your answer secret, I promise."

"No," Ty Lee says, sounding so certain.

"I'm teasing you," Azula half-lies. She is not quite certain.

"No, you aren't and you're capable of killing him. So no." Ty Lee pouts.

"So are you," Azula says, locking eyes with her lover. "You are almost as lethal as I am. So, do it. Would you not kill someone for me?"

"I have before, and it's not as sexy as it sounds."

"Oh, but that was as a soldier," Azula dismisses, waving a hand and shaking her head very slowly, very regally, very melodramatically. "That is so mundane and pathetic. None of that counts as murdering someone just because you want to be fucking me more than you want to be fucking them."

"Why do I even like you?" Ty Lee whispers, although she knows a thousand reasons why. And a thousand reasons why she shouldn't like Azula, but that is a story for another day.

"Because I am wholly irresistible despite all of your pretend shame."

"Wait – let's reverse this for once."

"That could have more than one interpretation…"

Ty Lee cuts that sexy joke off. She asks with all of her heart, "Would you kill someone to have me?"

"Yes."

"You didn't even think about that!" Ty Lee exclaims, abandoning the blankets to be closer to this complete lunatic with completely enticing eyes and a perfect body and no husband that she is cheating on.

"That should be a good thing, love. Your hesitation offends me to the soul." Azula places her hand over where her heart should be. Ty Lee thinks it is extremely cute when she should not.

"I don't know. I mean, I would kind of more like want to ask you to kill someone for me because then we both win." Ty Lee grins.

"Killing your husband, that is?" Azula very reasonably very much dislikes the fact that her girlfriend married someone almost as bad as Zuko. It was quite the thousandth betrayal, but Azula kept pursuing her. Partially to spite that water peasant but really…

"No. Just because I don't love somebody anymore doesn't mean I'm going to kill them." Ty Lee crosses her arms and pretends to be self-righteous.

"Your loss." Azula sighs and lies back down.

The room suffers from silence for a moment before Ty Lee gets too curious.

"How would you even get away with it?" she whispers.

"I always get away with it in the end." Azula knows a thousand ways to avoid consequences. She knew by the time she was two.

"Yeah. That's so right. You never have seen, like, any repercussions for your actions, have you?" Ty Lee remarks, thinking about it deeply. Yeah, it was just something about her.

"And I hope I never will."

"Could you live without me?" Ty Lee asks.

"Yes."

"Hey! You should've hesitated at that one."

"You married someone else in my absence. You pretended I didn't even exist to soothe your aching conscience—"

"Azula, just because you get away with murder doesn't mean that everybody should feel bad about trying to make you see justice."

"You could live without me."

"Not after I had you. That's, like, without loving you at all and stuff it's so easy but then when I get to and it gets taken away I would have so much trouble with that."

"Could you live without him?" Azula asks, despite knowing the answer. Yes.

"How long are we going to discuss murdering my husband?" Ty Lee wants to talk about it all night, but she refuses to let Azula win that easily.

"I think he's pathetic and pales in comparison to me, and I don't know why anyone would ever have sex with him, much less someone as attractive as you. Even you deserve better."

"Even me?" Ty Lee cocks an eyebrow but it is too dark for Azula to see.

"I hold impressive grudges."

Ty Lee sighs loudly. "I forgive people way too easily."

"We remarkably balance each other out in numerous ways. I need all of you to myself and that is my final offer."

"He says he loves me. You don't," Ty Lee says.

That was what began the discussion about killing him; Ty Lee saying that she needed Azula to tell her she loved her, tell her this was serious, tell her she would not regret abandoning her less-lethal and less-insane husband.

"That is not any measure of compatibility." It is, but Ty Lee lets Azula get away with saying it.

"I love you."

"I refuse to respond."

"I love you."

"Stop saying that."

"I love you."

"I would feel sad if you were murdered. Are you satisfied with my answer?"

"It's close enough for me," Ty Lee whispers.

She smiles to herself until she falls asleep.