Can we forget about the things I said
When I was drunk
I didn't mean to call you that
I can't remember what I said or what you threw at me
Please tell me, please tell me why
My car is in the front yard,
And I'm sleeping with my clothes on
Came in through the window last night
And you're gone
Gone
It's not surprise to me I am my own worst enemy
'Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me
The smoke alarm is going off,
And there's a cigarette, still burning
Please tell me why my car is in the front yard
And I'm sleeping with my clothes on
Came in through the window last night and your gone
Gone, please tell me why my car is in the front yard
And I'm sleeping with my clothes on
I came in through the window last night
It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy
'Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me
Can we forget about the things I said
When I was drunk
I didn't mean to call you that
~My Own Worst Enemy~ LIT
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Victorious
Beck POV
The whole weekend was a blur for me. I remember doing homework with Cat Saturday morning. Then we went to the beach with the rest of the gang and after that we went back to Cat's house and had a bonfire. We sat around just drinking and talking for a while and then we started a game of 'Truth or Dare'. André was the first to go and he dared me to drink a glass of beer in one gulp and that was pretty much it for me. I blanked out after that. The next thing I remember is waking up in one of the beanbag chairs in the game room of Cat's house with my arms wrapped around her and my face buried in her still damp hair.
Sunday I don't know if I was still drunk or just terribly hung over. Tori and André seemed to be in the same state. Kaila, Robbie, and Cat didn't drink as much so they were fine. Cat was kind of freaking out though because her mom and brother were on their way home and she needed all of us to get out. I ended up piling into Tori's car with Kaila, who was driving, Robbie, Tori, and André. My head was killing me and I didn't feel okay enough to drive.
They dropped me off first because Robbie's car was at Tori's house. And when I finally made it into my RV I turned off all the lights and climbed into bed pulling the blankets over my head. It didn't take long before I was asleep again. I don't know how long I was asleep but when I woke up it was pitch black out. I reached into my pocket for my cellphone but it wasn't there. I wasn't even wearing my jeans I was wearing a pair of red, black, and white flannel pajama pants, which did not belong to me. And I had on a white 'Hurley' t-shirt, which also did not belong to me. Oh, shit.
Looking at the digital clock on the counter I saw that it was just after four-thirty in the morning. I already knew that I wasn't getting anymore sleep and all I wanted to know is where my clothes are and most of all, where the hell is my cellphone.
Getting up from my bed walked into my parents' house to take a shower. Unfortunately, my RV didn't have its own shower. When I was showered and changed I walked back to my RV and found the only hairbrush I owned. I brushed my hair out and blew it dry. Then I brushed my teeth. It took all of an hour. I would have called Cat, the only person I knew who would be up at this time. But I didn't know where my damn phone was. It was then that I heard a car pull into my driveway and then one right after it.
I opened the door to my RV and stepped out. My car had just turned off and there was a black Escalade behind it, the headlights shining brightly. After a moment a man I recognized as Cat's brother, Alex, stepped out of the driver's seat of my car and a second later Cat got out. Nobody got out of the Escalade though.
The first thing I noticed about Cat was the hat she was wearing. It was a beanie with a cat's face and little ears on top. It was very…Cat. Cat had on a black zip-up hoodie and a black pair of sweatpants and on her feet she wore a pair of black wedge flips flops. Her bright red hair looked fluffy and soft and it went down past her ribcage. She had in diamond stud earrings and was carrying her backpack, which seemed like it was about to burst, over her shoulder.
"Cat, call me if you need a ride?" Alex said before he walked over to the Escalade and hopped into the passenger's side. Cat just waved at him and walked over to me.
"Hey," Cat mumbled shyly looking down at the ground "Is it okay if I come in?" she asked looking up at me. I nodded and let her walk up into the RV. She walked in and sat down on the couch setting her bag on the floor.
"I'm loving the hat," I told her. She didn't say anything. I don't know if it was because she thought I was making fun of her or what but when I said that she pulled the hat off her head and threw it down on the couch next to her. She was acting really weird, "Are you okay?" I asked her.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she told me her whole demeanor changing in an instant. It was like she was forcing herself to be happy, "Actually, I have some of your stuff with me," she unzipped her backpack and pulled out my jeans, t-shirt, and swim trunks. Then she reached into the pocket of her hoodie and pulled out my cellphone. I must have lost it in my drunken stupor.
"I have been looking for this all morning," I told her as she handed me the phone. She just nodded and stood up taking off her hoodie. Underneath her hoodie she was wearing a coral colored crop top that stopped just below her ribcage. Her hair went past her shirt, "So, what did your mom say?" I asked her, "Did she even say anything?"
"She found the bag of bottles in the back yard and all of the camping gear," Cat started, "Then she told me that if I was going to be drinking that she would rather me do it at home than anywhere else. But she also said that I had better not do it again unless she is home," she continued, "I didn't really get in trouble but she wasn't over the moon about it."
"Well, that's good," I told her, "I can hardly remember anything from that night," I chuckled lightly. Cat smiled but it seemed forced, "I don't remember much after André making me drink that whole glass of beer," I continued, "Then I blanked out."
Cat looked totally deflated. I had only seen her look like this one other time. And that was when we were talking about her multiple personality disorder and her suicide attempt. It wasn't something that I wanted to see ever again. But here I am…seeing it again.
"You really don't remember anything?" her voice was shaky and her eyes were glossed over. I looked down at the floor. I wasn't sure what to say. I didn't want to make her cry but I had a feeling that, that was going to happen whether I said anything or not, "You know, it doesn't matter," she caught my attention making look up just in time to see her wipe the tears from her eyes.
"Cat, what are you talking about?" I went to sit next to her but when I sat down on the couch she got up and walked over and sat on my bed. I put my head in my head and rubbed my temples, "Cat, my mind is completely blank from that period of time. If something so significant happened and it is upsetting you so much you need to tell me," I told her.
"Well, if what I am so upset about is so important to me than I would hope it is to you too and you would remember it!" She shouted and stomped out of the RV. I had decided then that one of us was insane because I had no idea what she was talking about. I walked out of the RV after Cat and went to find Cat. She couldn't have gone very far. I looked around the back of the RV. I looked up by my parents' house. Then I started walking down the long driveway.
When I got to the end of the driveway I saw her bright red hair and her brightly colored top. She had forgotten her sweatshirt and her backpack in my RV. As I got closer I could hear her talking, or crying, to someone on the phone.
"No, he doesn't remember anything," she sniffled. By 'he' I assumed she meant me and it broke my heart, "Yeah, I kind of sucks," she let out a sob, "But it is what it is I guess," She told whoever was on the other end of the phone, "No, I already called Alex. He should be here in a few minutes," she continued. She was starting to calm down, "He was pissed. But I didn't know things would go the way they did," she wiped tears from her eyes, "And he told me to call if I needed a ride home, and I need a ride home."
There was a pause before she spoke again, "No, I'm still suspended remember. They don't count weekends so I can't go back to school until Wednesday. So my life pretty much sucks right now," she let out a humorless laugh, "Hold on, someone is on the other line," she looked at her phone and pressed a button, "Hey, Alex," she said, "Okay thank you, bye," then she switched back over to the other line, "Tori, you still there?" she asked. So she was talking to Tori. I could interrogate her later, "Alex is gonna be here in like…now," she said looking down the road, "I'll call you later."
Alex's car pulled up and Cat walked around to get into the passenger's seat. As she turned to get in her red, puffy eyes met mine. We just looked at each other for a moment before Cat turned away and opened the door to climb into the car. Not being able to do anything I just walked back up to my RV and waited until it was time to leave for school. When I got back to my RV I saw that Cat had left her backpack, her hoodie, and her hat sitting on my couch.
It was still way too early to go to school so I decided to lie down. After a few minutes I had fallen asleep. I wasn't awakened again until there was a loud knocking on my door. Looking at my clock I saw that it was now almost eight-thirty and I had to be to school by nine. When I opened the door I saw none other than Tori Vega standing outside my RV.
"Can I come in?" she asked. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she had a pissed off look on her face. I gestured for her to enter and she walked, more like stomped, up into the RV, "Cat told me she left some stuff here and asked me to pick it up," she looked up at me.
"Well, yeah," I started, "But I was gonna stop at her house after school and give it to her," I told Tori," I want…no I need to talk to her," I looked back at Tori, "I really don't understand why she is so upset with me."
"And that is why she really doesn't want to see you right now," Tori told me, "Beck, I got as drunk as you did. Maybe even more but I still remember what happened without someone having to tell me about it," she continued, "Just wrack your brain a little bit. It should come to you," she said before walking over to my couch and taking Cat's things, "I'll see you at school," she said as we both got into our cars.
Once I got to school I went to my locker where André was also at his locker. I put my backpack into my locker and pulled out the books for my first couple classes. It sucked knowing that Cat wouldn't be in Science with me today. She was the only good part about going to that class.
"Do you know what's up with Cat?" I asked André. He looked over at me with a smirk on his face. It was kind of creeping me out, "Seriously, man she came over at like five o'clock this morning to give me my clothes and my cellphone. And it was like she was expecting more attention than I was giving her. Not that I wasn't giving her any less attention than I normally do," I continued, "But she ended up crying and yelling at me and then she pretty much ran away," I told him, "Did I miss something?" André looked like he was trying not to laugh.
"Yeah, bro," Andre told me, "If you can't remember what happened Saturday night you are defiantly missing some stuff," he looked at me as we leaned against the lockers, "Why don't you tell me what you do remember," he said. I told him everything I remembered up until the part where I blanked out. He sighed heavily and hung his head, "You're screwed," was all he said.
"She left some of her stuff at my place this morning and I was gonna take it to her after school," I told him, "But then Tori came over just before we left and picked all of it up. She said that Cat doesn't want to see me," I said dejectedly.
"If she is that upset then we need to see her whether she wants us to or not, "André told me. I looked at him confused, "One of the triggers for her changing identities is major stress and being overemotional. And some other things that I won't get into right now," he informed me, "We can go to her house at lunch," he said and I let out a sigh of relief.
"Is there any way that you can tell me what the fuck happened the other night?" I asked him, "Because I am drawing a complete blank here," I told him as we walked to our first hour class.
"Oh, you mean beside the two of you being all over each other the whole night?" he asked and I started to think, "And then your hour long make-out session? Nah. Nothing really happened," he said sarcastically. I still couldn't really remember any of it and I felt like shit.
"That is probably why she was acting as if she should be getting more attention from me," I ran my hand through my hair. Again. I felt like the worst person in the world right now and I could only imagine how Cat was feeling. It brought tears to my eyes because I know how I would feel if the roles were reversed, "I should have given her more attention. I shouldn't have drunk so much. Then I would remember and I wouldn't be in this mess," I continued. I looked over at André, "I can't wait, man," I told him, "I need to go now," I turned and started walking back toward the entrance of the school.
"Dude, you can't just leave!" André shouted from where he was still standing. I just looked back at him and kept walking.
"Watch me," I pushed the door open and walked out to my car. I hear the school door open and saw André walking toward me, "André what are you doing, man?" I sighed heavily.
"Bro, you can't just ambush her," he told me, "If it is just you and she is already pissed off at you then she is going to freak out and I'm scared to know what will happen if you freak her out like that," he informed me, "I'm thinking that if we both go see her than she won't feel so pressured," he told me, "I'll have Tori pick up her homework and stuff."
We both climbed into my car and drove to Cat's house. The car ride was silent and that made it seem longer. On the way we stopped and picked up something for the three of us to eat. Not soon enough we arrived at the mansion Cat called home. She seemed to be home alone again since there were no cars in the driveway. Or we were just screwed and Cat had gone out somewhere with her mom or her brother.
When we got to the front door I knocked three times but no one answered. I waited a moment but nobody came to the door. André then knocked louder. This time when no one answered André pulled the spare key out and unlocked the door. He put the key back before we walked in and he locked the door behind us.
Andre and I made our way upstairs and stood outside Cat's bedroom door. There was nothing but complete silence. André knocked lightly on the door not wanting to frighten the small girl inside. I looked at André with a worried look on my face. 'Open it' I mouthed to him. He sighed and turned the doorknob. Luckily, it was open.
I have to admit, I was imaging a lot of different things. Different scenarios were playing through my head on a loop. Cat throwing a fit and messing up her entire room, Cat curled up in a corner bawling her eyes out, but no. All I saw was a clean room with a beautiful, red haired, Angel Faced girl sleeping in her queen-sized bed surrounded by her multicolored, stuffed unicorns. Andre came in after me and shut the door, maybe a little too hard.
"What the fuck?" Cat wiped the sleep from her eyes and looked around the room, "Holy shit!" she exclaimed putting her hand over her chest, "How the hell did you get into my house?" she asked, "Why are you in my house?" she looked between the both of us. Then she cocked her head to the side like a curious puppy, "What time is it, shouldn't you be at school?"
"We ditched," André told her, "We, well mostly Beck, was worried about you and he was going come over here by himself," he said, "I told him that I should probably go with him because I wasn't sure what kind of state you were going to be in."
"So, you didn't know if I was crazy or not," she started, "And you didn't want me to flip out on Beck," she folded her arms over her chest and looked at André, "Yeah, I'm pissed," she said, "About a lot of things. But I think Beck got what he had coming to him this morning. Even if he still doesn't understand why I was so upset I let him know that I was and he has to deal with that," she flipped onto her stomach and I knew she was crying again. Fuck.
"Can you give us a minute please?" I asked André quietly. He nodded and handed me the two bags of food. I was guessing that they belonged to me and Cat, "I just really need to talk to her alone for a few minutes." I let Andre know.
"I have to go get something out of the car," he said loudly enough so that Cat could hear, "I'll be back in a minute," he then walked out the door closing it lightly behind him.
"Cat," I walked over to the left side of her bed. I sat moved a few of the unicorns and set them on the other side of the bed before laying sitting down with my back against the headboard and I stretched my legs out in front of me, "I have some food for you," I tried to break the ice a little but she just mumbled. I set the food on the table next to the bed and looked back at Cat. I started running my fingers through her soft hair as I spoke, "Angel Face," I started and her body wracked with sobs. Tears started falling from my own eyes seeing her like this, "I just need to talk to you, baby, please?
Chapter 13! All Beck's POV and he has gotten himself into some trouble hasn't he? We will see how everything pans out very soon hopefully. That all depends on how many reviews you all give me! I love all of you guys but I didn't get as many reviews as I wanted last time so this time and I am still putting this up early. But for sure I won't be updating next time until I get the amount of reviews I ask for.
4-5 reviews before next update. I think that is manageable! More would be AWESOME though.
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PurpleNovember9109
(Chelsea)
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