Alrighty we took a small vacation from writing but we are back to bring you more entertaining stories about everyone's favorite bad guys! This idea was brought up by xosnobunniox. All credit to him/her. Written in tag team with my sexy lil uke who is quite talented at this sort of thing (as well as other things ;) ).

Hope you enjoy it and stay sexy!-

RabidSheep

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"Yankee Stadium. The beloved baseball stadium of New York. Hello my name is Aizen Sousuke."

"And I am Gin Ichimaru."

"And we will be your announcers for this game; Yankees VS Royals."

"Beautiful day isn't it, Lord Aizen?" Gin turns to Aizen who sits beside him in the announcer box. For some reason they are both wearing their arrancar clothing, still.

"I'll say, Gin. It looks like not a cloud in the sky!" Aizen replies.

"Ahaha your so fake." Gin quips with a chuckle.

Aizen gives him an 'I will rape you later' look to which all the color drains from Gin's face.

Down below Yammy sits in the crowd with a giant box of peanuts and a super sized soda cup. He is decked out head to toe in Yankee merchandise complete with ball-cap, shirt, pants, and face paint. Yep, Yammy is a Yankees fan.

Tousen stands in the outfield with one glove up as if that was gonna help him catch a ball. No one had even bothered to tell him the teams hadn't even gone out on field, yet. He begins to suspect they are playing joke on him

like when they asked him to play scrabble on game night when they know he is blind. He had spent hours moving the little wooden tiles around and asking if it formed a word. Lets just say apparently Yonkers IS a word.

In the far right corner of the stadium there is a concession stand. Yes, that's right. The haven of overpriced items and foodstuffs you wouldn't dare eat on any other day but a day like this. It is operated by none other than the Cuatro Espada, who happens to be feeling more down than usual.

"Hello, I would like a jumbo hotdog with mustard on it.", an obese man sporting Royals attire announces. Without a word Ulquiorra grabs the bun and meat, slaps the two together, and throws them into a sack. "Enjoy your amebic dystentry." The Espada quietly quips as the man walks away.

It is only seconds later before the man returns. "HEY!", he yells, shoving a woman from her spot in the line. "I said I wanted mustard, you idiot!" Ulquiorra heartily sighs. "What's the point...you're gonna die from heart disease anyway. If your weight and diet are any indication, I'd say

you have only 5 months left before you have a heart attack. Try as they might, the paramedics will try to save you but you're so fat that you're sure to crush the gurney they try to take you away in." The man says no more and walks away without his mustard. "I'm so lonely..." he whispers to himself, trying his best to not quake his lip.

Meanwhile-

In the stands, it appears a fight has broken out between two fans of the opposing teams. "Then what are you doing here, you idiot?" Yammy says to the Royals fan. "Maybe you should go back to YOUR side with those jackholes!" The people nearby boo, hiss, and throw their beverages at him.

"YOU'RE the one on the wrong side, idiot!", his nemesis yells over the hissing. "Weren't you wondering why everyone else was wearing different colored clothes? What are you--colorblind?" That last word struck Yammy hard. It was like 1st grade all over again! (Colorblind, colorblind, colorblind...) The haunting words lingered in his mind. They

were against him. JUST AS MRS. AVORY HAD BEEN! They all had to DIE! Ripping his shirt to shreds, Yammy throws himself at the crowd of fans.

"Oh my." Aizen mutters with one hand over his mouth. "It appears as if chaos has erupted in the stands. We're excited for the game too, gentlemen. But you'll just have to be patient"

Gin smiles and nods. "That they do, Lord Aizen. That they do."

Yammy rips a Royals fan completely in half and lunges for another but is pulled back from the crowd by three security officers.

"Sir, we gonna have to ask you to leave."

Yammy is beyond the point of comprehending words spoken to him.

"I'm not color-blind! Stop mocking MEEE!" He yells as he is escorted out of the stadium.

Back in the four court Stark sits in the kitchen cooking hotdogs.

"You sure you should be using your cero to heat them up like that?" Ulquiorra stands behind the brown haired man watching him cook.

"Please, Ulquie, Its quicker then using that complicated human contraption to cook em in." Stark mutters, the small ball of cero in his hand growing as it picks up energy.

"You mean the microwave? Its not that complicated, Stark. You press a button and-"

"TO LATE!" Stark fires his cero at the hotdog and the room is filled with the light of his laser-beam.

When the smoke finally clears both Espada look down at the charred remains of what was once a tasty hot dog.

"Well that didn't work."

"Ya think?" Ulquiorra says then puts a hand on Stark's shoulder. "Come, youngling, let me teach you the mysterious ways of the microwave."

Out in the serving area Nnoitra leans over the counter and flirts with a young woman.

"Hey babe, All this could be yours for one low, low price!" He says handing her a hotdog and trying to look sexy. She looks surprised then disgusted as she walks away.

"Uhm. No." She says with a smirk.

Another girl steps up in line to fill the place where she left. Nnoitra will not be shot down so easily, he puts his moves on the new girl.

"Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!"

The girl looks horrified and takes off running. Its no problem because yet another woman, older then the first two, steps up in line to order some nachos.

Nnoitra runs his hand through his long black hair.

"Hey baby, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart."

He gets a plate of Nachos shoved in his face. Nothing is more embarrassing them having the wide melted cheese from your nose and eyes in front of a line of hungry customers.

Meanwhile out in the stands Grimmjow is decked out in a popcorn mans outfit, complete with the tray strapped to his shoulders for serving popcorn, and a cute little at on his head. He looks piss off.

"Oi! Popcorn boy, toss me one over here!" An obese man says whilst snapping his fingers. He receives a box of popcorn chucked in his face courtesy of the sixth espada.

"Screw this job..." He says to nobody in particular. "If only there was an easy way to get fired." As he says this, he looks to the field where the players have now taken their positions. "Hm." This was it! He knew what he had to-

"Oi, toss a bag over here, dude.", a greasy looking fellow commanded.

"Go to hell." The Sexta commanded in return, tossing the remaining bags over the wall of the stadium.

We now return to Ulquiorra, Stark, and the magical microwave.

"I still don't get it!" Stark whined. "I'll never be able to work it and I'll end up empty and alone and-"

Ulquiorra grabbed the Primera Espada's hand and guided it to the button and looked him in the eyes.

"Shhh. Don't say that. Now, click here."

Stark did as he was told. "See, was that so hard?"

Stark could only help but to stare at his finger, then the microwave, then his finger once again, and then the numbers displayed upon the microwave.

"Wow! That came out of ME? Now I won't be alone forever!"

Ulquiorra then took his superior by the hand and there they were, face to face.

"No. You won't be. You have me." As he went in for the kiss, Stark pulled away.

"Okay, this is getting weird." He decided, and left the room.

"I just want someone to love..." Ulquiorra sobbed. "I wonder if Grimmjow would want to see a movie later. Wonder how he's doing right now..."

"Yes, that's right, folks." Spoke Gin. "There's a naked man with blue hair upon the field."

"Thank you for stating the obvious, Gin." Aizen retorted.

Try as they might, none of the players from either team could tackle the mysterious blue-haired streaker. "Haha, f**k you, I'm naked!"

It was only due to the passing of the hours that things finally settled down. Aizen and Gin grew bored commenting on the game and took to making fun of how the players looked instead. Yammy managed to kill the security guards who had tried to contain him and snuck back into the game wearing a phony guise of a mustache and glasses. Ulquiorra was still managing the concession stand in hopes of ascertaining true love.

Stark took to placing random objects in the microwave. Oh, how he loved to watch bunnies burn then explode! What? Why did you cringe? Nnoitra finally had enough of getting shot down and decided to take the night off early to reflect on his life. Nah, just kidding. He's out there somewhere gettin' some. And as for Grimmjow? Well...let's just say that you won't be seeing much more of him anytime soon. Alas, there are two people we haven't talked about yet. Hallible and Barragan. It had been his idea to take her on this date and so far it had been nothing but awkward silence and old man farts.

Hallibel crosses her arms over her chest and wishes she had just stayed back in Las Noches with her fraccion. All of them were probably painting their finger nails and exchanging gossip with Szayel in their room right now. The setting sunlight paints its way over the field to where someone had moved Tousen over to the side to keep him from getting hurt. She watches advertisements and other random crap flash across the big screen. Suddenly Barragan sits up straighter then usual and turns to her in his excitement.

"Uh perhaps you should watch the screen, mi'love!" He says gruffly to her. Casting her eyes to the screen she gasps in shock as she reads what it says in gaudy golden lettering.

"TIA HALLIBEL WILL YOU MARRY ME?" It reads then the camera zooms into where they sit in the audience together. Rage runs through the big breasted woman like a roaring dragon.

"So? Will you?" He asks hopefully.

Shaking in her anger she fists clenched at her sides she turns to him, eyes a blaze with inner fire. Barragan feels a twinge of fear run his blood ice cold.

"Uh oh..."

-SMACK!-

He is left reeling in pain as stars dance behind his closed eye lids as the female espad stands and stomps out towards the exit.

"F**cking jack*** thinking I am gonna marry him he's got another f**king thing coming if he thinks im some cheap a** wh*re!" She mutters as she goes.

Inside the announcer box Aizen cringes while watching Hallibel's reaction on the big screen.

"Ooohh I guess that's a no!"

Gin turns to him with a smirk.

"Now who is stating the obvious, Lord Aizen?"

"I'm gonna rape you tonight."

"Aww man."

High in the stands in the lonely part where noone want to go sits a brown hair boy who scribbling names on a note book. An evil grin touches his lips. Lower in the stands a detective named L sudden gasps, clutching his chest, then falls out of his seat. Dead. Light Yagami grins down into his Death Note.

"Just as planned."