Chapter 13: Cards against Autism
It was a dark Saturday night, and most of Ponyville was dead. Except for one bright light, shining from Sugercube Corner.
"Alright girls! Are you ready?!" Pinkie yelled excitedly.
Her friends were gathered around the plain black and white box. To Pinkie Pie, however, this was more than just a little box, this was the essence of her Saturday nights. And mine too.
This is Cards Against Humanity.
Every Saturday night, Pinkie invited her best friends around to play the game. She always had a marvelous time, just like I do. Geddit, this fic is based off a real match I had. Like and follow for more content.
Pinkie unpacked the box and started dealing cards. There were several giggles shared as her friends looked at their cards. But she wouldn't giggle. Oh no, she wouldn't. She had a poker face. She wouldn't give away her secrets.
"Alright, who'll be the czar first?" Rainbow Dash asked, anxious to start this fucking awesome game.
"I WILL BEEE!" Pinkie yelled. I love being the card czar. It's my favourite part.
"Okay then... darling, you must calm down," Rarity said, the fun-hating bitch she was.
"NO!" she yelled back excitedly, as she should. God, I fucking LOVE Cards against Humanity!
With that, she pulled the first black card out, and asked the question.
"I have BLANK in my BLANK!" Oh god, this is gonna be a funny fucking round.
All of Pinkie's friends threw their cards in. Pinkie was quaking with excitement. She loved seeing what funny combinations her friends came up with.
Rarity finally played her cards, and Pinkie excitedly swooped up the first pair.
"I have The Jews in my Oven," Pinkie giggled, then burst out laughing. Jesus, how fucking funny is that? The Jews in my Oven! Holocaust jokes! Hilarious! Comedy Gold! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
Sorry, I was just laughing at that funny joke.
Next pair.
"I have a penis in my toaster," Pinkie giggled, then burst out laughing. Jesus, how fucking funny is that? A penis in a toaster! Crude sexual humour! Hilarious! Comedy Gold! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
Sorry, I was just laughing at that funny joke.
Next pair.
"I have Jet Fuel in my Steel Beams," Pinkie giggled, then burst out laughing. Jesus, how fucking funny is that? Jet Fuel Can't Melt Steel Beams! That shitty joke isn't dead! Hilarious! Comedy Gold! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
Sorry, I was just laughing at that funny joke.
Next pair.
"I have Doritos in my Mountain Dew," Pinkie giggled, then burst out laughing. Jesus, how fucking funny is that? Montage parodies aren't total fucking cancer! Hilarious! Comedy Gold! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
Sorry, I was just laughing at that funny joke.
Finally, Rarity had had enough.
"You know what Pinkie? I refuse to play this stupid game any more!" she said, the fun-hating cunt.
"Aww but why?"
"You want to know why?! Because every fucking time we play this miserable excuse for a fucking party game, we get the exact same unfunny fucking jokes! Oh, Jews! Oh, montage parodies! Oh, crude sexual humour! It's NOT FUCKING FUNNY ANYMORE!"
And with that, she slammed the door.
"Wow, is she on her period or what?" Pinkie giggled, then burst out laughing. Jesus, how fucking funny is that? Periods! The menstrual cycle! A perfectly normal biological function of human females! Hilarious! Comedy Gold! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
Sorry, I just can't do this anymore. I'm just SO fucking funny! This game, it's fucking funny.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Cards Against Humanity is only funny for so long.