Well folks, here is the next chapter. It is shorter than what I normal write but it says all it needs to say. So now go read and enjoy. See you at the end.
A little over an hour later found Derek and Emily tucked in a booth next to the large plate glass window of a tavern called the Dirty Duck. It was as seedy on the outside as it was on the inside, but it had the reputation of making the best hamburgers west of DC. The window gave Emily the option of watching the traffic flow by if there were topics she wanted to avoid talking about.
After leaving Derek on the patio, Emily had gone to her room to change. She had taken a quick shower and had donned jeans and a comfortable shirt. Sitting on the bed, she tugged on her tennis shoes that she now left tied so that she didn't have to pester Dave to tie the laces every time she wanted to wear them. Then, against medical advice, Emily managed to get her right arm above her shoulder and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. Once her arm was back in its sling and strapped into place, Emily gave herself a once over and decided she looked respectable enough to go out.
Knowing that Dave would probably hound her about not taking her cane, she grabbed it from its place next to the door. In the doorway Emily hesitated and turned back to look at the gun in its holster lying on the nightstand. There was really no reason for her to take it with her. She would be with Derek and she felt safe in his company but then…. Emily bowed her head and sighed. She went over to the table, scooped it up and settled it on her hip. Covering the weapon with her shirt, she went down to meet up with Derek.
Now the two friends sat with their noses buried in their respective menus. "So what are you having?" Derek asked, setting his aside.
Emily smiled. "The usual minus the fries." The tavern always served all their meals with a heaping pile of fries that one person alone could not finish, so the two of them usually split one order between them.
A bored waitress wandered over to take their orders and Derek chuckled when she also asked for a cookies and cream milkshake. "Baby Girl got you hooked on those hasn't she?"
"Yeah, she did."
Derek leaned back in his seat and studied his best friend and partner. He liked what he saw. Emily felt his eyes boring into her. She looked up at him, puzzled. "What?"
"You're looking good," he said with a grin, "from the last time I saw you in the hospital." He gestured to her face. "Especially around the eyes."
She laughed. "The raccoon eyes finally faded a couple weeks ago. I no longer spook myself when I look in a mirror."
He chuckled. "And, Girl, you got a nice tan going. Rossi hiding a tanning salon in that house of his?"
"No. Mudgie and I have been taking a lot of walks to the park."
Derek's eyebrows went up. "I didn't know you were a dog person."
Emily shrugged. "I didn't know I was until I ended up living with one for five weeks. But Sergio is still the love of my life."
He pretended to be hurt. "I'm outranked by a cat?"
"Yup," she said and fell silent while the waitress dropped off her milkshake. Using a spoon she removed the cherry and set it aside. Then she mixed in the whipped cream and took a sip before continuing, "Sergio is cuddly, he doesn't hog the covers and doesn't leave the toilet seat up," she said with a straight face.
He blinked at her then threw his head back and laughed. "God, how I missed your sense of humor."
Emily smiled with him but Derek failed to notice that it didn't reach her eyes. At the moment they were filled with guilt for the pain she had caused him. When their burgers arrived, she had tucked it out of sight so that it wouldn't ruin the nice lunch they were having.
"May I?" he asked, gesturing to her plate. Emily nodded and Derek pulled it over. He cut the hamburger in half for easier handling and dumped her share of the fries on to her plate. "How's that?" he asked, sliding it back across the table.
"Good," she said with a nod and reached for the ketchup. "Tell me, Derek, what you've been up to since I last saw you?"
Throughout lunch Emily quietly ate her hamburger and fries, taking pleasure in listening to Derek talk. The way he was treating her was refreshing. JJ, Reid and Garcia tiptoed around her; worried she might break, asking her how she was doing and if she wanted to talk. Derek wasn't doing any of those things; he simply acted like she had never left.
The more she thought about it, the more troubled she grew. Of all the people on her team, Derek was the one she had hurt the most that night. She had put him through hell in the warehouse and he was behaving as if nothing had happened. Come to think of it, during his visits with her at the hospital they had danced around the issue.
"Earth to Emily!"
"Huh?" she blinked in surprise. Derek was leaning across the table waving a hand in front of her face.
"You were a million miles away," he said with a grin.
She smiled self-consciously. "Sorry. I've been doing that a lot lately. Guess I have a lot of stuff on my mind."
He settled back and polished of the last of his fries. "That's understandable," he said and left it at that. Everyone else would have pushed her to say more.
"What were you saying before?" she asked.
"I wanted to know what you wanted to do next." He reached back over the table to steal her few remaining fries. Emily swatted his hand away. He pulled it back, grinning.
"Walk with me?" she blurted out. She wanted to talk with him but not here in the tavern, it was too public for this very personal conversation.
"Sure," he said with a nod and waved to the waitress for the bill.
Emily slid out of the booth and waited just outside the door while he settled up with the cashier. She used that time to organize her thoughts, to get what she wanted to say in some reasonable order. When Derek came out they slowly made their way down the sidewalk. It was a perfect day for a walk. The sun was high in the clear, blue sky and the street was lined with trees whose broad boughs shaded the sidewalk.
Emily looked straight ahead, knowing if she looked at him she would lose her nerve. "Derek?"
He looked at her. "Yes?"
She took a deep breath and was surprised her voice came out strong and steady. "I have something I need to say to you, but I also need you to let me get through it without interruption. Otherwise I'll never get it out."
"You have my word," he said solemnly.
"I am so sorry for what I put you through. You did not deserve that. No one does."
"Emily…" he began.
She spared a glance at him. "You promised."
"I did. Go on please," he said with a nod.
"I can't image what it was like for you to find me on the floor of that warehouse bleeding out. How helpless you must have felt. Then when JJ told you I had died the blame you must have piled on yourself for not getting there in time. I wish I could have spared you from that."
Derek stopped walking and his eyes closed briefly. But his face exposed the obvious pain she'd brought back. It was as if the images he had fought so hard to bury deep were slammed into the foreground. It was all the pain and guilt she had wanted to keep him from. She could tell he was not fully prepared for the conversation, as much as she was not for initiating it. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it to respect her earlier wish and took a step forward.
"But it happened and there is nothing I can do to take it back. If I could go back in time and change it I would in an instant, but I can't. I completely understand if you are pissed at me and I don't blame you. All I can say again is that I am so sorry."
He stopped again and turned to her. "May I say something now?" he asked quietly.
"Of course," she said softly and absently fiddled with cane in her hand.
"I was pissed at you," he said and watched a look of sadness fall over her face. "But I was angry at you for not telling me, telling us about your time with the CIA. I felt betrayed, that our friendship was a lie and I disowned you. I tore apart everything you did when you went after Doyle."
Emily nodded. She had hurt him more than she had thought. Unconsciously she took a few steps back, feeling the gap of distrust between them widening. But he didn't let her retreat and gently grabbed her arm to stop her.
"But then I learned the real reason you took the fight to him. Everything you had done was to protect one little boy and us. I was so proud of you then and I am still proud of you today. I just wish you had trusted me enough to tell me."
Emily stared down at the ants swarming in the crack in the sidewalk. She used her foot to knock down the anthill. "I wanted to but I couldn't. It was classified and if I told you it would have put all of you in danger. You have to understand Doyle was dangerous, Derek. He knew all about you guys and your habits and he would have easily taken you out. I couldn't let that happen. I had to protect you."
He nodded. "I understand that now but it still hurt."
"I get it. I truly do." Emily reached out and touched his arm. "I need to tell you something else. I don't remember much after Doyle stabbed me. All I knew was that I was tired and cold and that I was dying. I was okay with it. I knew what the outcome was going to be when I went after him and I had accepted it. The only thing I didn't like was that I was going to die alone. Then you came."
Derek reached across and took her hand. His eyes did not waver from hers and she couldn't look away, no matter how much the overwhelming emotions boiling over made her want to run. His eyes spoke more than any words could. The love, the loss, the pain, the hope, and the pure connection that they had that no one would ever understand.
"Then you came and took my hands and I knew that wasn't going to happen, instead I was going die in the arms of my best friend and partner," Emily's voice cracked with emotion.
"Is that why you asked me to let you go?" he asked softly.
Emily looked at him in confusion. "I did?" He nodded wordlessly. "Oh, Derek, I am so sorry. I never should have asked that of you. That was unfair of me."
He smiled wanly. "I didn't listen."
"I'm glad you didn't. I vaguely remember you asking me to hang on so I hung on as hard as I could. I wouldn't have made it if I hadn't felt your strength flowing into me from your hands and your voice." Emily pulled him into a hug and she felt him wrapping his arms around her and holding on as tight as he could. "Thank you for saving me," she whispered in his ear.
"Thank you for fighting and coming back to us. I missed you," he whispered back.
Seems like Emily and Derek finally got out what needed to be said. Do let me know what you think. Until next week then.