Chapter 13: The Hunt for the Rush Hour Renegades
Me and Draco began running through the alleys, trying to track down Uncle Jesse and Joey. But we had no idea what to do until I noticed a trail of grease and oil on the ground.
"It's his hair!" I yelled "Uncle Jesse is a mulleted greasehead, we can follow the trail to find them!"
Draco looked up "You are so smart." I only LOLed and we began to follow the oil, it smelled like feta cheese.
We ran down a dark alley, then the trail stopped. It was hard to see so I was kind of scared.
Suddenly, I heard a voice "Hey there boys and girls!"
It was Bullwinkle's voice. Which could only mean one thing "Die Joey!" I yelled, firing off a gun into the dark. There was A Cry in the Dark and I knew that I had hit him. Suddenly, bright lights came on! I couldn't see!
I saw Joey laying on the ground, he was bleeding from his upper leg and looking at me with a "OMG I'm gonna kill you" face. Uncle Jesse came out around the corner, the light shining off his slick hair. "Have mercy!" I yelled as he raised a gun and pointed it at Draco.
Suddenly flowers began covering Uncle Jesse and he couldn't move. A figure stepped out behind him, wearing an ugly ass witch costume. It was Marnie Cromwell!
Joey pulled out a gun and aimed it at her, she smacked his hand away. I stood up and raised my gun, putting it right between Joey's eyes. I pulled the trigger and painted the alley with his brains, causing Marnie to moan like a dog in heat.
I walked over to Uncle Jesse, still wrapped in the plants. "I'm about to light…the Olympic Torch" I said, lighting a match and dropping it on Uncle Jesse, causing all of the plants to set fire. Me, Draco, and Marnie stood there and watched him burn.
"Well, now that that's over" said Marnie, extending her hand to Draco. As Draco shook her hand, she pulled him to her, putting a gun to his head and pulling the trigger.
"Nooooooooo!" I yelled as Draco dropped to the floor.
"Harlow, I love you" he said as he died.
I turned to see Marnie pointing the gun at me!