"What's with the smile on your face?", House asked. "It's suspicious." He came closer to her and gave her a once-over. "I mean usually you don't actually take drugs at work, do you?"
Remy rolled her eyes to her boss indiscretion. She was not going to answer him but she was not going to scold him either. She was not high today but he had been forgiving of many other days when she had been.
"I'm guessing you've managed to finally put Cameron back in your bed", he deduced. "Good for you." He winked at her slyly while her co-workers looked at her bewildered by the mention of their colleague.
Remy chuckled against her better judgment and her will to remain unfazed by his snooping. "Do you think we could also address the patient's condition or his symptoms aren't severe enough yet to be entertaining?"
House turned toward his other fellows before grimacing. "I guess we could."
Her boss' observation was right. She was wearing a smile that hardly wanted to go away. It was uncommon enough for people to notice. She tried to conceal it during the differential but it was acting on its own will.
xxxx
That day, Allison experienced a mixture of emotions. She was happy she had finally gotten a chance to have a deeper conversation with Remy. But she was still unsure of were they stood after this nerve-wracking exchange. And she was flustered by the progression of their physical interactions. She had nearly stopped hoping for the brunette to consider her as more than a fling and had aimed toward becoming her friend. But now she was left wondering if she could deal with a friend with benefit or if the brunette might be willing to start a real relationship with her. And if Remy wanted that, she was scared of what it meant for her world has she used to know it. Yet she would not hesitate to take the risk.
xxxx
Around noon Remy received a text from Allison. 'Hope you're not forgetting to eat because I'm not here', the blonde was saying. The brunette's smile became a foolish grin.
xxxx
In the evening Remy decided to go to Elliot's pub to relax and maybe get a chance to chat with him. She had not seen him in the last two weeks and she was wondering what he was up to.
"Hey. It's been a while since I've seen you. Everything's fine?", Elliot asked when greeting her.
"Yeah. And you?", Remy said with a warm smile. "Still in love with your underwear model?"
"You're just jealous a handsome men like him does not drool over you", he retorted.
"You caught me", she played along. "So I'm guessing it's going well between the two of you. What about the band? Any upcoming gig?"
"As a matter of fact we just had some good news today. We'll be playing on a big scene in New York." It was evident Elliot was proud of this achievement.
"Awesome! Cheers to that", Remy said, raising her glass to congratulate her friend. "I'll try to make it", she added with a broad smile.
Elliot followed her gesture. "I'm sure you're happy for me but can I ask what, or who, is plastering this smile on your face?", he told her while observing her cheerfulness. "I've never seen you that smiley without dilated pupils", he added, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.
Remy smirked. She was in a good mood and, after all, she owed him an answer. So, she conceded to give a brief explanation. "I made up with the colleague I told you about."
"You made up in her bed?", he said chuckling slyly.
Remy laughed at his not so subtle reaction. "No", she replied, protecting the details of their reconciliation.
Elliot was not settling for this vague answer. "You know you could tell me. That's what friends do", he prompted her.
"You would like her", Remy quipped after another fit of laughter. "She's just like you, telling me what friends are supposed to do."
"And what does she want you to do?", he asked with a wry smile. "Her?", he suggested.
She chuckled before admitting, "She would not be opposed the idea, I guess. But at the moment she is just nagging me to stop drinking and partying".
"And that's why I haven't seen much of you in nearly three weeks?" Elliot had been wondering what had kept Remy from popping up at the bar like she usually did at least once a week.
"Not really." She knew she had skipped coming here to avoid having to discuss Allison and, most importantly, her illness. She was worried he would pick up on something off in the story with the blonde and she wasn't ready to tell him yet. She enjoyed their laid-back relationship.
"You're not gonna say", he stated, recognizing her guarded face.
She smiled mysteriously, glad he was not pushing for an explanation right now.
He changed back the topic. "So how did you make up with the girl? And what's her name? I have a feeling I'll be hearing about her again", he said with amusement.
"She's named Allison and we really are just friends." She felt like she was telling the truth but at the same time she knew her sum-up was a bit too simplistic to be accurate.
Elliot did not reply but gave her a lingering knowing look.
"Ok", she said, surrendering to his inspection. "We kissed", she admitted. "But nothing more. She really is a friend." She felt like her face was burning up from this admission. She hoped it did not show.
Elliot smirked at his embarrassed friend. The faintest of a blush was colouring her face. "You, Remy Hadley, kissed a girl and nothing more happened?", he exclaimed, delighted. "You must really care about this one", he chuckled. "I have to see her. I want to know what it takes to make you commit."
She quickly regained her composure and forced a serious look in response to his mocking reaction. "Well, if this reaction is any indication of how you would greet her, I want to say 'never'", she deadpanned.
He laughed cheerfully. "I behave better than you and you know it", he replied. "So when do I get a chance to meet Allison?".
"We'll see", was all Remy agreed to answer, a hint of a smile playing on the corner of her lips.
xxxx
The following day, Remy was excited to see Allison.
"Hey", Remy told her timidly when she spotted her.
"Hey", Allison replied just as shyly.
They were both nervous, without an understanding of where they were standing after the other night. Allison was coming more and more to term with her attraction toward the other woman, and Remy was coming more and more to term with her longing to be close to the other doctor. Nevertheless, it was awkward for them to search for words and find none when they were now used to long-winded conversations. Presently, it kind of felt like they were teenagers trying to invite each other to a date without being sure the other person was into them. So they stared at each other for way too long in the middle of a hallway in the hospital. If they had not wanted people to start talking about their relationship, it was too late. And as a sign of fate, House came limping its way toward them.
"You know we have rooms if you want to undress each other more effectively than with your eyes", he quipped to let them acknowledge his presence.
They both tore their gaze away from each other and looked at him. Remy was somewhere between amusement and annoyance, and Allison went from flustered to embarrassed.
"I'm pretty sure that after last time you locked us up you bugged most of the rooms, didn't you?", Remy asked rhetorically.
"The supply closets too", he replied with a wink and a sly smile.
"You shouldn't waste so much of your time on this", Allison scolded him.
"I see that as an investment for my future homemade porn collection", he retorted.
"Then I hope you have other willing participants", Remy deadpanned.
"Seeing how you two look at each other, my hopes are you will be too caught up in the moment to remember this conversation when you will be treating each other to dessert." He gave them both another one of his dirty looks.
"House", Allison warned him. She had always disliked his crude language but she found it particularly unbearable when it applied to her and Remy. He always had to turn their blooming feelings into a premise to an obscene fantasy and it annoyed her.
"You want me in?", he continued taunting her.
"You wouldn't know how to handle us", Remy deadpanned again, taking the blonde's hand in her own.
"Harsh", he replied. He mimed being hurt by her words but a hint of smile betrayed his amusement at teasing them and getting reactions.
Remy did not wait for more wordplay and dragged Allison toward the cafeteria, walking quickly enough to make it impossible for him, and his three feet, to catch up with them. Somehow, this little escape made Allison giddy. She took Remy's response as an acknowledgement of their relationship to House. And she told herself that if the brunette was willing to let House know, it must mean she had made up her mind. She usually fought tooth and nail to keep her personal information away from him.
Once they had passed the big push-through door of the cafeteria, Remy let go of the blonde's hand and slowed down her pace. She gave an apologetic look to Allison and went back to trying to find her words. She rarely let herself be nervous but today she had a hard time keeping up with the charade of false self-confidence that was usually hers.
"I hope you're okay with the gossip he will keep spreading", Remy said meekly.
"I think that today we are too obvious to need his help", Allison replied with the hint of a blush. She was trying to improve the situation by letting her colleague know that they were lacking discretion but it only made her more aware of how much she was unable to behave correctly.
"I'm sorry about that", Remy said sincerely. "If you prefer, we could eat separately", she offered. She did not mind what people thought about her, but she knew Allison had a different take on people's opinion and she wanted her confortable. Remy had a tendency to be protective of the few people who were able to get through to her.
"Don't be ridiculous. I know what I'm signing for", Allison reassured her with a soft smile.
"And what are you signing for?", Remy inquired.
"For a relationship with you", the blonde said softly, a blush creeping up her neck again. "and the gossip that goes with it", she told her with some unexpected assurance. "House included."
Remy smiled candidly at the admission. It had been what she wanted to hear. Last night had left her unsure of Allison's intention. She had raised many flags against their relationship and stopped their kisses, twice. Remy had gone back home a little frustrated and very confused on what could happen between them. She had not promise to change. She felt unable to change. She had to remind Allison that. "You know I can't just become who you want me to be?"
"I don't want you to be anyone else than yourself. I just want you to stop hurting yourself", the blonde replied.
This answer left Remy at loss of words again. It was at the same time the sweetest reply she could have hope for and the worst she could have anticipated. She knew she was not able to keep this promise right now. She did not want to end up hurting Allison in the process. But she also really wanted to try and make it right with her. She had not felt that good with someone in a long time. She might even had not felt like that with someone ever.
xxxx
"Would you like to go for dinner and a movie during the week-end, if you have time?", Remy proposed, feigning nonchalance. She was playing it cool but in reality she was nervous to ask out the blonde.
"Like in a date?", Allison asked hopeful and nervous at the same time. She reached for a piece of cookie to occupy her hands and mask her turmoil.
"Could be", the brunette said casually. "If you want to", she added after trying to make sense of Allison's reaction.
"I'd like that", the blonde replied with a shy smile, adverting her eyes from the other woman in an attempt to stop a blush from arising.
"Neat", Remy replied, smiling softly at her coffee cup.
xxxx
"You really are going out of your way to woo me with this date", Allison said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice despite the grin on her face.
"What can I say? I hate wasting time", Remy said taking the blonde hand in her own, after having released the hold she had over her eyes. "I don't have that much to spare."
"Then I should get ready for a proposal soon", Allison countered, choosing to not see the morbid part of Remy's comment.
"Watch your mouth when you'll take a bite of the cake", Remy answered with mischief in her eyes.
"I can expect cake? Hope you did not make it yourself", Allison retorted.
"If you plan on being nasty all night long, I might keep the cake for myself", Remy said, narrowing her eyes.
"I'll behave", Allison promised.
"Then seat", Remy ordered while pushing a seat out for Allison around the table.
Allison obeyed and Remy disappeared in another room that she believed must have been the kitchen. The blonde took advantage of that time to detail the efforts Remy had put into this date. The table was set nicely and candles were casting the dim light across the living room. A smooth music was creating a smooth ambiance and she could smell that the younger woman had put some effort into cooking. It had surprised her when the brunette had pick her up to drive her to an unknown apartment building and asked her to accompany her inside. She had thought that they were going out and had dressed for the occasion. So she had been a bit confused and maybe even a little disappointed at the idea that maybe she had misunderstood the meaning of date as being romantic. But before opening the door of her apartment, Remy had insisted on covering her eyes up with her hands, making a fuss of the importance of her being surprised and lifting up her doubts on the definition of their date.
The slim figure of the tall brunette reappeared and stopped at a distance to observe the blonde. "You like it here?", Remy asked. She was not used to receiving guests. Generally, she preferred to go out rather than stay in.
"Not too bad", Allison replied, not giving away her excitement at finally seeing the brunette's place. She was always eager to learn more about the mysterious woman.
"We can still go to the theatre after dinner", Remy suggested casually.
Allison turned on her seat to face the brunette. She smiled at her softly and the other woman made her way next to her.
The brunette smiled and announced proudly, "I made risotto. I know you like it."
The blonde grinned and bite her tongue to not ruin the moment by questioning Remy's new found cooking abilities.
xxxx
"So tell me the truth. Was it you who cooked this delicious meal?", Allison asked already knowing the answer but willing to tease the brunette.
"With my skilful hands", Remy replied, knowing the blonde was not dupe. "Another glass of wine?", she offered, while pouring herself one.
"Sure", the blonde answered. "Now you're trying to make me drunk to have your ways?", she asked giddily. She was already half way drunk, but in all honesty the brunette was not in need of any help to get her to comply with her desires.
"You read me like a book." Remy took a sip of the wine and gave Allison one of her most charming look, a look that made her feel naked and blush profusely. Then the brunette stood up and extended her hand to the blonde who looked at her bewildered. Allison seized the hand nonetheless. Remy pushed her to her feet and made her land in close proximity to her. The brunette teased the other woman's self control with a lustful look then turned around to guide them toward the sofa. Respectfully, Remy sat on the end of it. Allison decided to seat closer than necessary.
They were facing each other and the brunette's grey eyes were travelling from the blue eyes to the soft lips of the blonde. "We can still make it to the theatre", Remy teased. The blonde had tried playing hard to get all through the meal and Remy was taking a certain pleasure in making her wait now that she felt like the other woman was on the verge to stop being able to resist their attraction much longer.
"Who is really going to theatre anymore?", Allison said with mischief in her eyes. She did not give Remy enough time to answer and captured her lips in a heated kiss. The brunette reciprocated unreservedly. They were both done beating around the bush.
xxxx
Remy woke up entangled in her sheet with a sleepy blonde draped around her midsection. It had been a regular occurrence this last two weeks but it still felt new to her. She was still getting used to the feeling of waking up next to somebody. She had always avoided sleeping with her conquests and it had been two years since her last relationship, which had been messy enough for her to not get used to a sleeping routine. Her ex had been like her, scared of committing to someone and trying his best to not become to accustomed to a shared life. She had actually been the most needy one in their relationship. It had left her a bitter taste. She recalled those memories while absent-mindedly stroking Allison's hair. This hair was so soft that she thought she could pet it all day long. She turned her head to stretch her neck and saw her phone flashing a light. She grabbed it to check her messages. Her father had tried to call her twice. She winced but got up to isolate in the living room to call him back. He worried easily.
"Hey dad", she said, with a raspy voice, still emerging from sleep.
"Hello Remy. How are you?", the older man greeted his daughter.
"Fine dad", she said with a hint of frustration. Her father had sensed something was worrying her those last few months and he kept trying to make her talk about it. "Why did you call me?", she asked, going to the point.
"I wanted to make sure you were able to take time off for Christmas", he said hesitantly with a weary voice.
"I told you, I would do my best to at least be there for a day", she reassured him. She was anticipating those holidays. She was uncomfortable each time she had to lie to him. "You really did call twice just for that?"
"I… I wanted to know if you could take more than a day or two. I'm having a lung exeresis tomorrow and I guess I felt like asking you to visit a little longer." He was trying to sound casual but turned out sounding tired.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?", she exclaimed shocked by the information. "How big is the mass? Is it malignant? Who's your oncologist?", she asked with a professional tone, aimed to masked her fear. A lump had formed in her throat and was affecting the quality of her voice.
"It's small. We don't know yet but we caught it early. I'm followed by Dr. Cooper, at Grand View Hospital", he replied mechanically. He had anticipated her questions. "I really didn't want to worry you Remy", he added. "I'm fine." He did not want to make his daughter worrying and that was why, at first, he had decided not to tell her until there was no diagnosis. However, as the date of the surgery was approaching, his resolves were vanishing.
Remy nodded to the statement but did not believe it. She swallowed the tears she was fighting. "I'll be there when you wake up", she stated.
A.N.: Thank you for your wonderful reviews ! It is very important to me to know what you think of this story. And no, I did not know I had a fan :)
Please tell me how you feel about the evolution of the plot in this chapter. I would be very grateful if you could tell me your opinion. Do you pick up on small details and the subtext that I try to integrate sometimes? Do you find the dialog realistic? And mostly, what bothers you or delights you in the writing style? Your feedbacks will be my motivation :)