Lots of luv to An instant King for patiently hearing my rants and proofreading my sloppy works. And to a dearest cousin that I will never see again, I dedicate this to you. I hope you can read it from where you are. Hopefully, the afterlife have computers...or internets for that matter...

Also, to feel teh emotions from this chapter and the following chapter, I suggest you listen to Utada Hikaru's Dareka no Negau ga Kanau. It's your loss if you dont. Because it basically tells one of the main character's feelings...I'll leave it in your minds to guess who.

With or without you…

When Meer Campbell heard the news about Cagalli's recent hospitalization, a devil suggested the idea of paying her a visit just to mock her even more about Athrun's recent departure. She still hasn't gotten over Athrun's near fatal accident even if it was over a year ago. She wanted to rub the guilt in her petite sorry face until she would fall down on her knees begging and crying. But her plans went down the drain when she saw the skinny frame of her former rival.

She found her sitting in her bed, surrounded by monitors and IV poles with IV tubes dangling eerily. The rhythmic beeping of the monitors that surrounded her and the blinding white that surrounded her reminded Meer of the movie she saw about a little girl who died of cancer. With a sudden pang of fear brewing inside her chest, she began to regret listening to the demon inside her head. If it weren't for the ego and pride churning inside her, she wouldn't have taken the step inside. Or greet her with that mocking smirk she is known for.

"Hah. You look like crap you know that?" She wanted to say something comforting, but she doesn't know how to lie. Well, at least to the person who stole the man she liked.

"Ever so frank as always. Thanks for visiting me. I never thought I would see you here, actually."

"I'm unpredictable like that. So what's the deal with the fucked up look? I heard ever since he left, you've been heading downwards. Are you digging you own grave or something?"

"Ahehehe. I think that's what you call depression. And no, I'm not digging my grave, because it had already been dug years ago." If it wasn't for that suspicious smile of hers, she would have taken it seriously. But now that she thought about it, one of the reasons why this girl always had that annoying special attention was because of her ailment. Something about her heart having a hole. She could feel the heavy awkwardness filling the air she was breathing. She needs something to cheer this bone frame. Something she's will be interested with. Something she hasn't heard of yet...

"Meh. You do know I wasn't from a wealthy family right? Well, we were once really filthy rich, then suddenly everything went shit. My parents got so fucked up they committed suicide after they gave me away to my aunt. Turns out I have a splitting look alike named Lacus. My mother never talked about her sister nor did she mention about having a twin, so I was really surprised when I met Lacus. My new family was really nice. That's why it was annoying. If they were this nice, why did they allow my parent sink down like that? Why didn't they help my parents? I never had the answer to that. I ran away. I learned how to stand up by my own feet. Or so I though. Turns out her father was pulling strings behind my employers. No wonder I got hired and promoted that easily. I began to hate people like that. I learned to hate people who like to give special attention. And most of all, people who gets special attention."

"Like me?"

"Yeah, like you. But after I realized what you were trying to do, trying to earn your own place in the society by your own hands. I was starting to see myself in you. That's why I decided to give Athrun up. "

"I'm happy to hear that from you."

"You should be!"

"Ah Meer. Can I ask you a favor?"

"What is it? As long as it's not about money, and doesn't involve Athrun."

"I feel like the sands of my time are slipping through my fingers. I know I'm the person you hated the most, but I'd like to ask you this once in a lifetime favor." She had the most melancholic smile Meer had ever seen. A beautiful yet sorrowful picture of life fading away. A mirror of a spirit slowly breaking away. She finally realized what caught Athrun's heart. That purest smile…

"I've decided not to take the surgery. Even if it means it could save my life. I won't take it. I feel like it's my way of atoning, atoning for my sins towards him and all the people I've hurt because of my selfishness. I made him suffer so much, I even took away his dreams. I cannot live with that fact. It makes my heart quiver every time I think about it. And so whenever I think about the possibility of the surgery being successful, I feel like I'm hurting him again. That I'm being unfair to him again. So Meer, when the time comes, can you carry out my will? When I can no longer breath on my own...can you be the one to stay by my side?"

He found himself sitting in the middle of a green house that seems to come out of a romance novel. The entire place was full of dazzling colors of pastel. The stained glass that adorned the ceiling added life on the already breath taking landscape. The melody of the birds chirping and the chorus of the stone fountain were like choirs to this serene haven. As he was about to wonder what was he doing in such a fancy place, when he heard faint footsteps coming towards him. He looked up, and saw a blonde smiling back at him…

"Hmm? So do you remember anything?" Meer's voice brought him back to reality, back to the shallow shade of the awning. He smiled grimly; frustrated at the headache he's been enduring since he first laid eyes on the necklace. He invited Meer to have a quick chat before his taping starts behind the film set.

"Aren't you supposed to help me remember?" There was a part of him overflowing with guilt and doubt after having that weird flashback. And he can't explain why it's preventing him from telling Meer about the vision he just had. A frustration that's eating him slowly inside.

"I want you to suffer a little bit. Hahahaha. Just kidding. I can't tell you everything if you can't remember some bits by yourself. Otherwise it'll just be in vain. You might just dismiss them as crap, as you normally do."

"But what if I don't remember them by myself?"

"Then you'll be losing the most important thing you ever had in the world."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Hmm? What do you think?"

"Is it an object? A person?"

Meer smiled impishly. "DO you think an object can wear a necklace?"

"So it's a girl then?"

"Yup. And boy, you should start giving your brain cells a work out, time's running out."

"What do you mean by that?"

Meer's face suddenly lost all its cheer. A silent pause gave him a chill up on his back, as he patiently waited for her answer.

"She's…" Their conversation was suddenly interrupted by a familiar voice. Athrun's interest dropped significantly as he stood up to greet the blonde.

"ATHRUN!!" Stellar's face was obvious flushed. Meer wanted to comment about it, but she decided to drop it.

"Ah, Stellar!" She could see the gentleness between the two. The same gentleness she saw years back.

"Muh! Athrun, what are you doing here? I've been looking for you!" And it feels so wrong in her eyes. This girl isn't worthy of this man's love. She couldn't help but whisper the words that were cut.

"Has spent the last remaining years of her life atoning for you, waiting for you to remember…and now…"

"Did you say something Meer?" Athrun turned towards her. She nodded no, and excused herself. But before leaving, she took Athrun's hand and pressed the red pendant hard against his palm.

"I hope you'll remember… Bye."

"Meer. What the fuck are you doing here?" Her hotel door suddenly flung open, revealing a breathless Heine. Not waiting for her response, he grabbed her wrist, forcing her to stand up from her chair, toppling the tea cups on her table. The sound of porcelain breaking seems nulled to their ears.

"What ever happened to the 'I will support her all the way' bullshit?" There was an overwhelming urge inside Heine to slap Meer to oblivion. He wanted to wipe that smirk off her face so badly...

"Aren't you gonna slap me?"

"I won't waste my energy on you." Loosening his grip on her, he watched her take a seat on the same chair he just pulled her from nonchalantly.

"I'm here for a promise. Although it's not exactly the same promise I'm supposed to keep, but its close. Besides, I won't let a whore take away my Athrun. I've already accepted the fact that I can never win against a 'royalty' but to lose him to a social climber is just too much. So, I've decided to join in."

"You don't know what you're doing Meer. Leave. You don't need to get involve with this mess. It's already complicated as it is."

An impish smirk formed on Meer's lips. "Lacus told me you were supposed to send the diaries to Athrun. How come they're still in ORB then? Why haven't you made any effort to bring those two together? In fact the way I see it, you're getting better in making those two drift further apart. Is this revenge? Are you trying to get her back?"

"This is bullshit Meer. What makes you think I'm pushing them apart?"

"For one, it wasn't supposed to be Stellar playing the part of Akari. You know how big the similarities are between her and Stellar, that's why you chose Stellar. It was supposed to be Shiho, yet you changed the plans. You wanted Athrun to fall for the bait. For him to fall for Stellar instead of her, Cagalli. And you knew about Stellar and Shinn's relationship, yet you still encouraged Athrun's advances on her!"

"This is bullshit. You don't even have a clue what's going on!"

"Oh believe me, I do. I know more than you think I do. Better than what you think. "

"Athrun, I have something to tell you." She mustered all her remaining courage to pull him all the way here. As much as possible, she had been really trying to distance herself from him, preparing herself for the final farewell. Just when she thought everything was going smoothly.

"What do you want?"He's been in a giddy state ever since he had that talk with Meer. After receiving the necklace, he immediately had a staff member put it on for him, after Stellar refused to do so. She had been complaining about the presence of the pendant, how irritating it was and things like that. But he wasn't in the mood for pleasing her. He feels more committed to this necklace, as he feels more at peace than all the times he spends with Stellar.

"It's about Stellar." She felt the knot in her chest tighten. The heavy pounding of her heart has started to drum at her temples.

"What about Stellar?" His eyebrow twitched at the topic. He never expected her to talk about Stellar. Of all people.

"Uhm. Well. First of all, I want you to know that I'm not doing this out of any malice. I actually support your relationship with her!"

"Just cut to the chase."

"She's...she's cheating behind your back. I saw her. Yesterday. Making out with some guy in the back of RV # 3. I saw it with my own eyes." She kept her head bowed down all this time. She couldn't bear to look him in the eyes. Afraid that her emotions would just come out pouring, adding confusion to the brewing mess.

"Is that all?" His voice seems so calm and relaxed. All this time, he kept his gaze at the setting sun, bidding its farewell to the horizon. She couldn't say if he really is looking at the horizon or what because of his sunglasses. Nevertheless, it is better for her to keep her eyes averted.

"Yes." Some thing's not right, she thought. How can he stay so calm?

He turned to face her, removing his sunglasses. He had this calm look on his face, as if what she just said about his girlfriend was some baseless gossip. A rumor.. "Then you just wasted my precious time. Next time don't make unnecessary bullshit. If you want my attention, just say it out loud. Dont go ruining other people's names. Especially Stellar's."

"You don't believe me...do you?" Her fists balled into tight grips. So this is your answer?

"Of course not. What proof can you give me? Stellar's not the type who'll cheat on me. She's just too cute for that. Not like you."

"What do you mean by that?" If her heart could beat any louder, this is it. Every beat her heart makes echoes loudly inside her head. The knot inside her already tightened chest has found it's way to her stomach, whirling and twisting everything inside into a tight loop. Her legs suddenly felt wobbly and weak from the harsh words she's receiving from him.

"I've seen you. With Heine. Seriously, I was taken aback by your boldness. So I wasn't enough? What, did you dump Rey too? You want someone with more prestige? Is that it?"

"It's not like that!"The pooling tears in her eyes were getting hard to suppress.

"Then what? Ever since you arrived, everything started to go awry. I didn't want to doubt you, since you're Kira's sister, but I have my limits."

"No. You don't understand..." Maintaining the firm tone of her voice was getting too difficult. Why must it be like this?

"This conversation is over. I don't want to hear anything from you. Now if you'll excuse me." She watched his back disappear from her sight, as she broke into small sobs. Her knees finally crashed down, along with her broken heart. The shard of pain embedded inside her chest has just gotten deeper, shattering whatever self composure she had.

"How does it feel to be ignored just like that, by the very same guy who promised you the world?" It was Meer, standing behind the wall. "Can you still stand up?"

"How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to hear everything." Stepping out of her hiding place, she approached the slumped form of her former rival. Cagalli lifted her gaze and shared her melancholic smile. When Meer laid eyes on her form, she quickly dashed towards her, cradling her weakened form.

"Tell me! How long have you been like this? Your medicine? Where is it?" She pulled out her handkerchief from her purse and began wiping blood from around her lips and neck. "You fool! Wasting your life on someone as dick faced as he is! There are so many men ready to jump off a building for you! Why are you so obsessed with someone as ass faced as him? Your medication?"

"Because he is who he is. And...I don't have anymore pills left."

"What?! Since when?"

"I dunno. A week or so?"

"YOU STUPID BITCH! How can you neglect your health like that! That's it, I'm going to take you to a hospital. Fuck Athrun. Let him stay with his screwed up Psycho Bitch. I' m not going to let you die on me. Not just yet."

"Meer, I've decided… I'm going to make sure he finds the truth behind that girl. Even if it means him hating me…" Her body hung limply against Meer's frame, as she pulls her up.

"And I've decided too. I'm not going to let you die, you sick masochist! I'm going to fight for you! You're wasting the time I've fought desperately for. I won't let you give up the fight. So Cagalli, keep your spirits up?"

A feigned smile returned a false answer. Meer knew her resolve. But she won't give up on her.

"I'll take you to a hospital right now."

"No, that won't do me any good. Just take me back to my RV."

"Are you fuckin' crazy?"

"It'll attract attention if people sees me like this."

"I'd rather have that, than you dying miserably in a firkin' RV"

"Relax, I wont die. I know these symptoms"

"Why should I take crap from a suicidal chick like you?"

"Ahahah. Just take me back to the RV."

"Fuck that, I'll take you to my hotel. "

"Hmm…Ok."

"Tell me, Meer! She's fine now right? Right?" A frantic Lacus has been raving about the same question. She lost count how many times she had answered the same question in the past 5 minutes.

"Lacus, you don't want me to hang up on you, right?"

"Ah, I'm sorry. I'm just really worried."

"I know, but there's no need to blow my eardrums with the same question. Anyways, I had a doctor come over to look her up. He gave her some medication and she's resting now."

"But, what did the doctor said?"

"He wasn't sure since he didn't have the right stuff to check her up. But…"

"But?"

"It's not looking good for her. She needs to have that frikin surgery."

"I…know…" Lacus' tone slowly broke down into little sobs.

"Hey, don't you dare bawl on me! Where's your husband?"

"He's not home yet. But I already had someone to inform him."

"I've booked us a flight tonight. Can you fix things on your side there?"

"Uh-huh, I'm e-mailing Ms. Erica about it right now. I'm hoping the doctors are available by the time you guys get here. Is it raining there right now?"

"Whoa. Now wasn't that out of line?"

"Ah, It's just that I remembered the day of the accident. It was raining."

"So rain has bad ties to her huh?

"Sorta. There! I'm now just waiting for her reply."

"Well, then. I have to go now. I need to check up on my patient."

"Ok. Thanks Meer. For everything."

"Don't mention it, cuz. Bye." There was a happy rabbit jumping inside her heart as she clicked off. For the first time, she felt so much at ease talking to her cousin. Free of any hate or doubt.

Just full of happiness.

She went to the kitchen to prepare some quick snack for her patient. A slice of pizza and orange juice was all she could find. But heck, like she cares. As long as she has something to eat that's good.

Only, the patient wasn't there.

Somewhere under the crying night sky…

"Stellar! I'm begging you! Please, break up with your lover! I don't want Athrun getting hurt!" The medication she received from the doctor gave her some strength to venture back to the Shoot. Enough strength and courage to confront her…

A/N: Yay! It's here!! And so is the next chapter. But...It wont be up until I get AT LEAST 15 reviews. Actually, I got until the 2nd next chapter. XDDD. This is what I've been doing for the last few days. XDDDD. Anyways, again, Thanks to An Instant king for the beta reading. And thanks a bunchies to all of my constant reviewers. You made me feel so loved everytime I see your reviews in the review section.

So! Onto the next