Tuesday, September 12, 2017
It had been a few days since Sherlock had last looked at Molly's diary. She had spent a little time catching up on his entries though. He still remembered the dream that had occurred after he had last written in the diary. When he had recounted it to Molly, she had been delighted that he had dreamed they had been together as a couple at John's wedding. She was particularly intrigued when he explained how he had proposed, and that the dream included them getting married.
"And in my dream we waited for the wedding night to be intimate too," said Sherlock with a smug smile, "unlike the dream you had before we were married."
Molly blushed and poked him. "You had your own share of erotic dreams, my love, so there's no point in being all holier-than-thou now. Don't forget the one you had the night before your stag night, when you dreamed of an alternate stag night where we both had too much to drink and made love before the wedding."
"Touché, my darling. It seems that reading your diary stirs up my imagination a lot, and it makes me wonder sometimes what would've happened if things had gone in a different way for us."
"That brings to mind a television show from America called Sliders. It was all about these people traveling into parallel universes. That's what these dreams are like, sort of parallel universes for us, different versions of ourselves."
Sherlock chuckled. "Alternate versions of me? I would feel sorry for the world. Undoubtedly there would be ones even worse than the real me. I'm sure every Molly would be just as perfect, though."
She giggled, "I don't know about that. That version of me from my uni dream did not behave very well, and I'm not even close to perfect either. But I still wouldn't trade my real life with you for any of those fantasy versions."
Sherlock bent down to place a tender kiss on her lips. "Nor would I. Besides, those dreams don't go far enough into the future. Look at us now, with a baby on the way."
"And the morning sickness that goes along with it," she quipped with a wry smile.
The weekend had gone by quickly. Molly had been working and Sherlock had taken advantage of that fact to find a couple cases he could solve in the London area.
In the evening on Saturday, Philip Anderson had been by, having booked a consultation with Sherlock over a perceived pen thief at the Yard. As it turned out, Sherlock himself had been the culprit, wanting to lure Anderson over so the man could finally tell Molly all about that ridiculous theory he had had about how Sherlock might have survived after he jumped off the roof of St. Bart's. The only noteworthy part of that theory had been the imagined kiss between Sherlock and Molly. Rather than recount the tale himself, Sherlock had decided it would be more fun for Molly to hear it from the horse's mouth.
It had been most amusing to hear Molly laughing at the preposterous nature of the theory. After Philip had left with his pen in triumph, not because he had got his pen back, but because an untimely bout of nausea by Molly had alerted him to draw the correct conclusion that she was pregnant, leading to Philip magnanimously forgiving the detective for the theft, Sherlock and Molly had enjoyed their own little re-creation of that magnificently steamy kiss.
John had come over on Sunday, and it was like old times. After the case was wrapped up, one where they had to solve a cryptic code of dancing men figures, Mrs. Hudson, who had been babysitting, had brought Rosie upstairs.
It was the first time Sherlock had seen Rosie since his wedding, and he took great delight in holding her and showing things to her. The little short overalls outfit she was wearing was, he thought, rather adorable, and he found himself imagining what it would be like to have his own daughter, if he had one, dressed that way. Rosie was fascinated by his wedding ring, so he took it off and handed it to her, and John had been a little cross with him.
"Sherlock! Don't be a moron. She could choke on that!" He took Sherlock's ring from the baby and pocketed it.
Sherlock was distracted then by the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. Molly was home. He pointed out the door and waved as he held Rosie. "Look, it's Auntie Molly."
The door was already open, and he was overwhelmed with love for her as she walked into the room wearing that cherry cardigan she always looked so lovely in, with a huge smile on her face. Of course, he was a little disappointed when he discovered the big smile was for Rosie and not himself. She pulled a folded piece of paper out of her trouser pocket and tossed it on the coffee table nonchalantly.
Fortunately, Molly was soon distracted with holding her goddaughter, and Sherlock hissed to John, "Give me my ring back!" The last thing he wanted to do was make Molly think he planned to go around without it.
"Just don't do something so idiotic again," John said in a low voice, handing him back his wedding ring.
"I won't," Sherlock said, shoving the ring hastily back onto his finger, as Molly continued to coo over Rosie.
"What's on that folded piece of paper you brought home?" Sherlock asked Molly curiously.
She paused in her baby talk to Rosie and looked at him. "Oh, it's just the results of the blood test from a couple weeks ago. I keep forgetting to bring it home." She stopped suddenly and looked guiltily at John.
John, to his credit, came to the correct conclusion. "Oh my God, Molly. You're pregnant, aren't you?"
Molly gave Sherlock an apologetic look. "I'm so sorry. I'm sure you wanted to tell him yourself, I just wasn't thinking."
Sherlock went over to her and Rosie and kissed Molly's cheek. "It's fine, sweetheart." He looked at John then and said, "Yes, we're having a baby."
John beamed at them. "That's incredible news. I am so happy for both of you. Wait till I tell Kayla! She will be thrilled for you too." He hesitated. "That is, of course, unless you want to tell her yourself, Molly? I know she's your friend."
Molly grinned. "She's your girlfriend, so if you want to tell her, I'm okay with that."
"Speaking of girlfriend, I suppose it's past time that I do this," commented John, turning suddenly sober.
Sherlock's eyes widened as John pulled off the wedding band he had continued to wear beyond Mary's death and put it into his pocket. Sherlock had noticed it of course still adorning John's finger, but, unlike the old days, had been too tactful to question why John was still wearing a ring that bonded him to another woman when he was now seeing someone else. Sherlock understood that this was a very important moment for John, that he had truly made the decision to move on with his life, and he was glad for his best friend.
Molly handed Rosie to John, then laid a gentle hand on his arm. "I think Mary would be glad you are not going to spend the rest of your life letting her memory prevent you from moving on."
John smiled and there was no doubt clouding his eyes from his action of moments before. "I know she would be. I'll always love her, and Rosie will know about her mother, but Mary and I talked about things once, when we were making our wills. We both agreed that if anything happened to one of us, life is too short to spend it dwelling on the past."
He looked at Sherlock. "You know, I never actually asked for your forgiveness over what I did to you that time at the hospital, when I was blaming you for Mary's death. I beat the crap out of you and you just took it, didn't even defend yourself. I'm so sorry, mate. Can you truly forgive me?"
Sherlock gazed at John in surprise. "Of course I forgive you. I forgave you back then, and becoming a Christian has shown me even more clearly the importance of forgiving without reservation."
John gave a deep sigh and settled Rosie more firmly against his hip. "Thank you, my friend. I feel like a great burden has been lifted from my heart."
Sherlock smiled. "That is how I felt when I truly gave my life over to the Lord and became a Christian."
John smiled wryly. "With talk like that, and Kayla encouraging me to attend church regularly, perhaps there's hope for me yet."
"We're praying for you, John," put in Molly. "We're not going to force you or push you to believe what we believe. If your heart is open to it though, I do believe that God will reveal Himself to you in a very real way."
"Yep, if God could change a sinner like me, there's hope for everyone," quipped Sherlock, and they all laughed.
John hugged both of his friends, then left soon afterwards. Sunday was certainly a good day, and Sherlock felt as if John's heart was softening when it came to spiritual matters which pleased him immensely.
Unfortunately the next day wasn't so good for Molly.
As soon as Molly woke up on Monday morning, she had to run to the bathroom and get sick. Having worked the weekend, she wasn't scheduled to work again until Wednesday which was fortunate. The whole day was spent in taking care of Molly and her needs, as she brought up every bit of liquid and every Ritz cracker she consumed. Sherlock felt he could almost set his watch by her, because every twenty minutes without fail she had to dash to the loo. It was a great worry to him, but finally at around eight in the evening, she stopped getting sick.
Today had been a better day for Molly. She had been sick after breakfast, which seemed to be becoming routine, but was okay for the rest of the day. While she went to take her shower, Sherlock decided to do a bit of reading of the diary, so he found his reading glasses which were for once where they were supposed to be, picked up a pencil and began to read.
.../.../.../.../.../.../.../.../
July
I am officially single again, and I don't know how I feel about it. I ache for the hurt I caused Tom, yet I feel glad that I had the courage to confront my true feelings, especially when Tom himself pointed them out.
Let me start by saying that John and Mary's wedding was absolutely lovely. They seem so happy together. Despite this though, I couldn't help looking at Sherlock and thinking how incredibly handsome he looked. In fact, I don't think he has ever looked more handsome, or, don't tell anyone I said this - sexy.
I tried to muster enthusiasm during the day, being with Tom. As the marriage service proceeded, I tried to think about saying those vows to Tom. Unfortunately, his face kept getting replaced by that of Sherlock's. I went off into a daydream about marrying Sherlock instead. How awful is that?
During the reception I tried to play the happy fiancée, but by then I knew my heart was not in it and that Tom and I were not going to make it. I even did a rather bad thing, well three actually. First, I took a picture of Sherlock when he was standing to do his best man speech. I pretended to Tom I was taking a photo of the wedding party. I just wanted to capture one picture of Sherlock for myself. The other bad thing I did was after Tom made some ridiculous comment about a case Sherlock had been working on. I'm not proud of myself, but I hissed at him to sit down. You should've seen the hurt in Tom's eyes when I did that. A bit later, Tom made a comment that Sherlock was pissed. Yes, Sherlock was acting rather erratic, but I'm used to that. So I did something that John would say is a Bit Not Good. I stuck a fork intoTom's hand. I'm not proud of that either. I am not usually prone to violence. I just felt this surge of anger well up in me and protectiveness I felt for Sherlock.
Later, everyone was standing around watching John and Mary dance to a beautiful tune Sherlock had composed for them on his violin. Tom and I weren't even standing together at that point. I told him to give me some space. I had a hard time looking at anyone but Sherlock as he played, even though I should have been looking at John and Mary as they danced. At the end of the piece Sherlock played, he threw his boutonnière to the really pretty bridesmaid standing next to me. I felt so jealous, wishing he had thrown it to me. Were they flirting with one another? The idea makes me green with envy even now.
After everyone started dancing, Tom came over to me and pulled me onto the dance floor. I danced with him because I didn't want to get into a row with him during the wedding. I did notice that Sherlock left the reception hall and didn't come back.
Anyway, Tom had borrowed his mum's car for the wedding and he drove me home afterwards. I invited him in, saying we needed to talk. I didn't even get a chance to explain things, because he had figured it out. I guess he had noticed the way I kept looking at Sherlock. We exchanged a few words and I returned his ring. He also said it will be a cold day in hell before Sherlock notices me, and that hurt, even though it's true. He also made a comment about me denying him sex, and that maybe the next woman in his life won't do that.
I feel like the worst sort of person right now, but hopefully I can just pick up the pieces and move on with my life, solitary as it may be from this point on. The only thing I know for sure is that I will never love anyone the way I love Sherlock. There it's out. I love him, with everything that is in me, unrequited though that love may be. As long as he is in this world, I will be his friend and I will be there for him always, in whichever way he needs me. That is my silent vow to him, that he will never know about.
My sweet angel, what you must've gone through. I never really understood how difficult that day must have been for you, especially if you were thinking about your future and what to do about your situation. I must admit, I kind of liked reading that you daydreamed about marrying me. I hope you thought our real wedding day was even better than your daydream.
You thought I looked sexy? That brings a smile to my face. I wonder if you think I looked better on that day or on our wedding day. I'll have to ask you. OKay, I'm pretty sure of the answer, but I'll admit, it's nice to be reassured.
You really looked so beautiful that day, and I was tempted to throw my rose at you, but that would not have been right under the circumstances. As far as I was concerned, you were still perfectly happy and planning your wedding. I must point out too that on that day Janine did flirt with me, but I did not flirt back. Of course, it was on the basis of her interest that I ended up using her later for my own ends, as you know.
Oh yes, I will never forget the preposterous "meat dagger" theory. Almost as bad as Anderson's theory on me surviving the fall. Actually it was worse, because it had no merit. At least Anderson theorised about a steamy kiss. I very much enjoyed our re-enactment of that fantasy kiss, so much so, I think it may bear repeating at some point in the future.
I didn't know that you realised I had left the reception hall. I stood outside for a little while, feeling a little - alone, I guess. Then I went home, alone. So, this is where you knew you were truly in love with me? Thank God I finally saw the light. You are my sweetheart, my soulmate, the most wonderful wife in the world, and in a few months we will have our own baby to love as well. XOX
.../.../.../.../.../.../.../
Sherlock looked up as Molly perched on the chair next to him and put her arm around his shoulders.
"I see you were reading my long essay about the wedding," she commented, taking off his reading glasses and reaching over to set them onto the desk.
"Yes, it was definitely the longest one yet. I didn't have a lot of room to make a response either," he responded. "By the end of it, I was writing in the margin in minuscule writing you probably will need a magnifying glass to read."
She laughed at that, then made a suggestion. "If you ever need more paper, just tear out sheets from the back of the diary. There are still quite a few blank ones."
"Sounds like a good idea." He smiled at her. "Anyway, I didn't even get past the one entry today. Do you want to read what I responded?" Without waiting for an answer, he pulled Molly onto his lap and held the diary in front of her. As she read his comments, he stroked her freshly washed and brushed hair and sniffed her skin appreciatively. Oh, she had chosen the new vanilla and patchouli one today. He swept her hair out of the way and kissed her neck.
Molly squeaked and almost dropped the diary. "Sherlock! I'm trying to read here."
Sherlock pouted. He should've had her read the diary after, rather than before he had his way with her. Obediently though, he sat there patiently and allowed Molly to finish reading.
As soon as Molly closed the diary, she turned her head to look at him and commented, "You know our wedding day was better than any daydream could've been, and of course you looked more handsome on that day than you did on the day of John's wedding, but John's was definitely a close second!" Then she asked, "You really stood outside the reception hall? I wish I'd known it. I should have told Tom it was over between us during the reception instead of afterwards. But he seemed so happy that night after he had had a few glasses of champagne, so I thought it would be best to wait till he had brought me home."
Sherlock looked at her sternly. "You let him drink and drive? He could've killed you."
Molly blushed. "I didn't even think of that. He often drove to the pub and back, and he seemed to hold his liquor well," she defended.
"Nonetheless, that was very foolish," Sherlock chided. "Getting into a car with someone who is under the influence of alcohol can have disastrous consequences. Statistics show that a good portion of car accidents are the result of impaired judgement due to excessive alcohol consumption. Furthermore-''
"You're right," Molly interrupted hastily with an apologetic look at him. "You've made your point, I don't need to know the statistics, honey. I'll admit, I was an idiot." She paused for a moment, then continued. "Speaking of idiot, I do apologise again for making that remark about the blood test in front of John. Actually, I would've expected you to have already told him during your day together."
Sherlock shrugged, and begin to massage Molly's shoulders. 'I was thinking we'd tell him together. Of course, I know how you can make it up to me," he said, leaning in to kiss her neck.
Molly immediately released the belt of her new favourite blue dressing gown which had been his, and she wiggled out of it so that her shoulders were bare as was the rest of her upper torso. Sherlock smiled in satisfaction. He loved the way she was as eager to be with him as he was to be with her.
Sherlock massaged her shoulders for a minute, enjoying her little moans of pleasure. "Molly, why don't you get the matching massage oil for this scent and I'll use it on your shoulders?" he suggested.
"Mmm, okay," said Molly dreamily, standing up and allowing the dressing gown to drop completely from her body to reveal she wore nothing whatsoever underneath, then casually exiting the room. While she was gone, Sherlock hastily removed his own clothes. If she can parade around nonchalantly, completely naked, so can I, he thought to himself. He did so love the way she was comfortable enough with her body to not feel she had to be modest around him when it wasn't dark. It was a bit like they were Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden before they sinned, he thought, unashamed of their nakedness. Of course, being naked all the time could be a little awkward for a man at times if he was feeling an attraction to his beloved.
When Molly returned to the room with the massage oil she gasped and exclaimed, "You're naked!"
Sherlock raised an eyebrow. "So are you," he pointed out. "You had better make sure the front door is locked," he added.
Molly gave him a questioning look. "Are you expecting visitors?"
"Nope," he responded, "but one never knows with Mrs. Hudson."
Molly handed Sherlock the bottle of massage oil then hastily went over to the front door and locked it. Sherlock gazed at the sway of her hips in frank appreciation. She is such a lovely woman, he thought for what was probably the thousandth time. No, not just lovely - beautiful, inside and out.
"Are we going to the bedroom now so you can massage me properly?" she asked with a flirtatious glance.
He smirked. "Not this time. You're going to sit on my lap, and after I'm done, we are going to break in my chair with a bit of loving."
"Your precious chair?" She had seated herself on his lap by that time and swivelled her head back to look at him.
"Why not? If it's survived an explosion, I think it can survive a little lovemaking, don't you agree?" He squeezed some massage oil onto his palms and began to massage Molly's shoulders. Molly didn't answer his question because she was too busy making those little moans he liked so well.
And a little while later, his own sounds of pleasure joined hers as they proved once and for all that his chair was able to withstand a good deal of energetic lovemaking, not just a little. It was indeed a sturdy chair.
Later that night, as they lay in bed nestled together, they talked again about John's wedding reception and how it had been the catalyst that led to Molly ending her engagement. As a result, both Molly and Sherlock had a dream that began with John's wedding reception.
[Read about Sherlock's dream in I Don't Want to be Alone Anymore, and Molly's dream in The Matchmaker]
[The Case of the Pen Pilferer gives the whole story of the Philip Anderson case and Sherlolly Kiss. Don't forget to read it and leave your feedback on it!]
Author's Note: You may have correctly deduced that I have incorporated some canon from the final Sherlock montage into this. What do you think? Does it seem plausible? (I did explain why Sherlock was not wearing a ring when he pointed at the door while holding Rosie LOL).
Yes, I'm afraid this chapter had more "real" storyline than diary content. Hope that isn't too annoying, I try as much as possible to balance both. In this instance, I think events in the "real" world actually take dominance as far as plot progression for my characters.
So, this chapter contains the diary entry surrounding Molly breaking off her engagement. What's your opinion on how and when that happened? Do you agree with my idea that it happened immediately after the wedding? I just feel it would have really been the catalyst for Molly - seeing John and Mary so happy, feeling renewed longing for Sherlock and making comparisons between him and Tom.
It's really strange, I have been thinking for quite a while about the fact that John never apologized or asked for Sherlock's forgiveness for what he did to him. I was thinking at some point about writing a one shot, but when I was doing a last proofread of this, this morning, suddenly it just felt this was the right time to put it in, and also to have John remove his wedding band which I noticed he was still wearing in the final montage. Your thoughts on this last-minute addition?
One last thing - anyone else out there a Sliders fan? I used to love that show!