A transformer blew out near my house. I had no electricity for a few days! back on line...more chapter's to come
Best,
Isa. S.
Choices Chapter Thirteen
He was at the county morgue.
Big Jerry had never made it to the hospital. He was DOA at Luca's house.
She walked in to find him signing the paperwork to release the body to the funeral home
"Fitz…"
He turned around when he heard his name. She walked over and pulled him into her arms…he trembled a little…she felt it, but the moment was gone in a flash. He pulled back and started talking. He was looking every which way…but not at her…everywhere but at her…
He doesn't want me to see him like this…well, too bad!
"They are taking him over to the funeral home…I…I have to start calling people. I haven't told anyone…I need to see my son…tell him about his grandfather…."
"I called the boarding school on my way here…I have someone picking him up. He's on the way…he's coming home to you…." Her voice was soft… soothing. She grabbed a hold of him again and made him face her direction
You don't turn away from me mister!
Finally, he looked at her.
"Luca…?"
"He's fine. I left as soon as Abby's mother and aunt came…."
"That's good. I was worried about her…she's so young. I can't imagine having to see all of that…and it's her…. it's her fucking birthday!" the emotion in his voice was heartbreaking. He was blaming himself for his father's misdeeds.
"Fitz…. Fitzgerald, hear me and hear me well. None of this is your fault…this is on your father. None of it is on you! You are allowed to do what makes you happy…big Jerry not being able to handle that is not on you…. it's on him!"
She could feel the guilt eating him up…he's going to put all this on himself…it's not his fault! He has to know….no! he needs to know that….
"Liv…I am sorry…he thought it was because of you…" the guilt in his voice tore her apart.
"Don't you dare apologize! You have nothing to apologize for…!" she pulled him into her and talked directly in his ear….
"Fitz…Big Jerry was a lot of things…the one thing he was most proud of…. was being his own man. He owned everything about himself…let him own this…this is not your fault…this is on big Jerry! He did this! it's all on him…everything! None of it is on you…. none of it!"
He was quiet but he was leaning deeper into her as she spoke…so she kept talking hoping to get through
"He didn't own you. He had no right to decide your future for you. You were strong. You went against him and decided to do what was right for you…even if it meant alienating your father. You deserve to write your own story. Just like he wrote his…." She said vehemently
"You and only you get to decide, how this plays out…not him…"
"Governor?"
They both turned to face the young gentleman in a black suit who had entered the room
"Your father is being moved to the hearse…I didn't know if you wanted to…."
"Yes…thank you…" Liv grabbed hold of his hand tightly. Together they walked to the viewing room.
Liv let him walk in alone… she watched, her heart breaking as he cried over his father's body.
After ten minutes he walked out. She didn't know why…but she knew when….
That was the day he changed. He wasn't the same. He was different….
Something was lost…her only hope was that it wasn't forever.
Three Months later….
"You ready?" Fitz smiled down at Little Jerry
"Yeah…"
"You'll be okay…just be yourself. You are awesome. There is no way they don't like you…" Fitz reassured him.
He had taken little Jerry out of the boarding school the day after his father died. He wanted to spend as much time as possible with his son…. he wanted to be a better father than big Jerry. If he died tomorrow, God forbid, he wanted Jerry to think about him in more favorable terms than his thoughts on his own father.
His father was dead and he was sad…. but more than that was the regret…He needed to know that little Jerry would never have regrets about him…he needed the kid to know that he was loved. Loved without any conditions….
"I love you and I am proud of you kid…"
Jerry rolled his eyes and nodded. His dad had been pouring it on a little thick lately…but he got it. He's grandpa had die and left his dad very sad. He needed to be understanding. Olivia, his dad's girlfriend said it would be okay soon, he trusted her. She was nice and she made his dad happy.
Fitz watched Jerry walk into his new school.
He hoped he was different. He didn't want to make the same mistakes…he loved his son too much for that….
He was different, Olivia thought.
It wasn't just about his father either. Something had else had changed.
She hadn't known what to do…but Cyrus, of all people, had figured it out. They had been in her Condo talking and he had given her incredible insight.
Fitz wasn't only a man broken. Fitz was a man who constantly put himself out there for love and family…and got nothing in return.
He had loved Big Jerry and had been betrayed. He had loved Mellie and been betrayed. He had loved Liv and while she hadn't betrayed him…she hadn't put him first either
"This is a good man, who keeps getting beat up for loving people Liv…he deserves better than he has gotten…"
Her heart hurt so bad when she heard that. Cyrus was right.
This is a good man, that has gotten a very raw deal…
He loved unconditionally and the people in his life kept punishing him for it.
She would not be joining that club anymore.
It was all about him now…. she was not only going to try and right her wrongs…but everyone else's too. He deserved it.
Fitzgerald Thomas Grant the III didn't know it yet…. but she was ready. She was going fight…fight to redeem herself. Fight to show him that not everyone was out to take advantage of him. She would fight for him...
She was going to be his warrior…his gladiator…
He heard the door open.
It's probably Liv.
He turned to face the door. He was right…She stood there silently watching him, not saying a word. He frowned. Confused.
"Hey Liv…what's up?"
"That's not my name. That's not what you call me…."
"Excuse me?"
"That is not my name….my name, the only name you get to call me and no one else does is….?"
It was an easy question that he easily answered.
"Livvie…?"
"Correct" she smiled and walked into the room closing the door behind her
"So, I am here for a few reasons" she walked up to him, grabbed his hand and led him to his chair where she pushed him down. She was atop of him as soon as he was seated, taking a position astride him, she grabbed his face. Her palms cupping his cheeks as she looked into his eyes.
"Fitz. I have failed you. No! please…. please don't speak. This is my show, I want to run it…" she said quickly placed her index finger on his lips to stop him from talking
"Fitzgerald Thomas Grant. I love you. Hear me say it again…. I. LOVE. YOU. I have never, nor will I ever love anyone the way I love you…but I have also failed you… I was a coward settling for others…instead of being strong and waiting for you to show up…. show up in my life…. I was a coward" she took a deep breath. She didn't want to cry but the tears were at surface level
"….and when you did show up in my life…I was stupid and reticent because I knew that it was you showing up…you who changes my life ….you who destroys everything I know…but I also know that you destroy it so you can put it back together in a better way…in the way it is supposed to be…with me and you together" she leaned in and kissed him softly
"Fitz, you are the love of my life. I have never loved anything the way I love you…" she kissed him again.
"I need you to do me a favor…I need you to not accept this declaration of love…you are a good man that will want to take me at my word, but I beg you to not do that….instead I ask that you allow me to prove it to you….by my every action, by my every thought and feeling…this is how I want to prove it to you. The same way you have proven your love to all of us lucky enough to be loved by you…"
She smiled down at him
"Will you please do me the honor of letting me show you that I chose you, and that I love you…and no one else?"
He was demolished by her declaration….it was…healing.
He did the only thing he could do…he nodded. She smiled at him…that smile already healing the open wounds of grief.
He put his head down on her chest and she cradled him while she spoke.
"I love you. I am going to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much" she whispered
His head snapped back up.
The rest of her life….
He was overcome…It was great that they were finally on the same page…