Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, don't own anything.
The next week, the school was in an uproar. The Christmas Ball was that Saturday and everyone was feeling the stress of it. Of all those people, Harry Potter seemed to be having the worst time.
Mobs followed his every move, and date requests were asked, maybe, every ten minutes. He had rejected all of them, Ginny's rejection still fresh in his mind. Because of all the rejections half the Hogwarts population was suffering from, they only tried harder, and some resulted to the most wayward option: Stalking. That's right. Maybe one hundred women and men were currently stalking Harry Potter. Or as they like to call it "Observing his every move so I'll know more about him and then when I'm with him at the ball I'll impress him with all I know about him." This particular quote was taken from a Hufflepuff seventh year.
With all the people watching him eat his cereal in the morning, it was only a matter of time before some scandal broke out. And on one fateful night, it did.
A love-obsessed Ravenclaw fourth year didn't ever believe she would land the goldmine when she flew her broomstick, with her camera, to the seventh year dormitory window and peeked in. What she did find is what could be described as regular guy's messy dorm with clothes strewn everywhere. Oh, but it was so much more.
Across the room, a door lay open where, upon closer inspection, could be seen as Harry Potter showering after a rather rigorous qudditch practice. He was, of course, al naturale; nothing was hidden.
Steam was overflowing the miniscule space making it hard for the fourth year to see anything through it. This particular Ravenclaw fourth year didn't believe she had struck gold but when she saw the door and what was inside it, she gasped and took a quick picture of what could be seen.
However, when the picture came out, fully developed, her eyes widened with lust, she fell off her broom and down the seven stories of Hogwarts. Fortunately before she plummeted to the ground someone had stepped right onto the spot where she was most likely to land. So the fourth year had landed on top of an unsuspecting first year. Although, many people find it hard to believe the first year didn't hear the Ravenclaw when she was falling because of the high screams coming out of her lungs.
Somehow the Ravenclaw had managed to keep hold of the picture of Harry during her fall and two days later, when she was released from the hospital wing, she showed all her friends the picture. Who told their friends, who told their friends, who told their...you get it. Pretty soon the whole school knew or had heard about the infamous picture of Harry Potter.
The Ravenclaw fourth year had refused to make copies due to some ludicrous reason. So the only copy that existed was in the hands of the fourth year. Who's, by the way, name is Daphne Clearwater.
Daphne devised a system that would allow everyone to have a peak at this picture. Every day at 5pm, Daphne would put the picture on a little known display, with a spotlight, on the second floor so everyone could visit and see the photo. At six she would take it down. She left numerous flyers around the school; obviously in code and soon every day at 5pm a crowd waited near the display.
Harry had been fairly oblivious to all the picture business; he still didn't know someone was even watching him while he was taking the shower. So imagine the shock Harry had when he walked past the display on the second floor at exactly 6pm. No one was there at that time so Harry only had to turn his head even the slightest to get a glimpse of him nude.
And that's exactly what he did. Harry had been walking down the corridor on his way back to the common room when he had moved his a little to the right and caught a glimpse of the photo. He hadn't payed much mind to it but after a moment's hesitation he walked over to the photo.
In shock, he stared at the photo on the display and reached over to it. Harry gaped at the photo in his hand which showed him with nothing on and steam swirling around him as he tried to flatten his hair.
He was so transfixed and in shock that he didn't hear the familiar sound of pounding footsteps. At that moment, Daphne Clearwater was walking around the corner with exuberant expression lighting up her face, which fell when she saw Harry Potter with his photo in his hand. Her heels stopped clicking against the marble floor as she stopped abruptly in despair. Snapping out of her daze, she marched over to Harry and tried to sneakily and carefully pry the photo out of his fingers.
Harry wasn't so easily deceived because he brought himself out of his shock and yanked back. Daphne with narrowed eyes and a determined gaze yanked back and almost fell backwards with the force.
"This is mine, Harry. Now hand it back." Daphne said like it was obvious.
"Well, this picture is of me so therefore I deserve to have it." He said.
"Well I was the one who took it so technically it's mine!" Daphne said aggressively.
He squinted at her in concentration. He gasped in familiarity and almost lost his grip on the picture. "So you're the one I heard screaming near my dorm window!" He gaped at her in horror.
"Good job, Harry!" She said sarcastically with a sneer.
He sneered back at her and said incredulously. "What kind of person takes a picture of someone while they're taking a shower?"
"If it involves Harry Potter, everyone! Now, give me back my picture!" She shouted exasperatedly.
"No!" Harry yelled and yanked the picture back with force. She did the same not long after and pretty soon the two were involved in a tug-a-war, that fully involved rebel yells and frustrated grunts, which can only end in the same result.
With one final war cry Harry yanked the picture back with more force and strength than ever before which resulted in him almost falling over. Unfortunately, Daphne pulled at the same time as he did causing both of them to fall over and the picture to split in half from the force.
With a stunned silence between them, both of them looked at the half of the picture they had gotten. Harry groaned and made to trip Daphne over when she gave a triumphant yell, jumped up and ran down the hallway. Unfortunately for Harry all he managed to do was bang his head on the floor and get a massive headache.
And as for who got which half of the picture? Well...let's just say Daphne got the bottom half.
Harry's pov
After the little photo debacle I, basically, blew into a rage. Glaring at Daphne's retreating back, I stood up hastily and stumbled in anger. I stared at the torn picture in my hand and ripped it until it was gathered into minuscule pieces near my feet.
Glaring at the pieces I kicked them around and marched away from the scene.
Over the next two days, suspiciously, I heard nothing or saw nothing about the other half of the picture. Since the first time, when the photo was still intact, I hadn't heard anything either, I went up to Daphne about it. She had told me that she shredded the picture and didn't ever plan on doing anything like that ever again. I don't know if I should believe her as she wasn't quite looking at me as she said it.
Anyway, something weird happened today. I had been walking to dinner when Anthony stopped me. I narrowed my eyes a little as I still didn't quite like him after what happened with Ginny. He had been looking at me weirdly, it almost looked like a love-sick expression but I quickly crossed that out as Anthony can't possibly like me.
"Hey, Harry. Excited about the dance this Saturday?" He asked brightly.
A little shocked and suspicious I said. "Yeah, a little."
"Well that's good. Listen, I've noticed that things have been a little hostile between us since I broke up with Ginny and I wanted to say that we should put aside all those bad feelings and get to know each other better." He said happily.
I scanned my brain for a response. "Uh…What exactly did you have in mind?" I said slowly.
His eyes lit up. "Oh, I was thinking we could get a drink at Madam Puddifoot's on the Hogsmeade weekend on Saturday and talk for a bit. Do you have any plans that day?" He asked excitedly.
Unfortunately, I wasn't so happy about this turn of events. "No, I don't."
"Great! I'll talk to you more about it later then! Bye, Harry!" He walked away with a very noticeable spring in his step.
Oh my god, what did I just agree to?
Miranda's pov
I can't believe he did that. He was supposed to DISTRACT him! Distract him! How hard is that to understand? Okay, any normal person would've asked him to help them with their homework or…help them find their…wand, just anything really! But no, Anthony from Ravenclaw had to ask him on a date! On a date! What kind of person comes up with that?
When I had heard about what Anthony had done I had stalked right out of the library and into the Ravenclaw common room where I knew he was at. I marched over to the windowsill he was sitting at, grabbed his arm, and dragged him out.
"What the hell?" I shouted in his face when we reached our destination.
Anthony spoke calmly but the quiver in his voice suggested he knew what I was talking about.
"What are you talking about?" He asked with a tilt of the head.
"I told you to distract him!" I yelled.
"And I plan to do just that." He said serenely, this only made me madder.
"Distract does not mean ask him out on a BLOODY DATE!" I roared and spit. Anthony wiped his face where some of my spit had landed.
"I did not ask him on a date. And don't you think the whole distracting concept will be much easier when he is miles away from the school where you will be doing the dirty work?"
I calmed down slightly and nodded reluctantly. "I agree. Just make sure nothing happens between you guys because that can screw up the whole plan and then you'll never get Ginny back." He nodded and we went separate ways although I am still slightly mad and in awe of what a stupid idea asking him out on a date was. Even though he still insists it isn't a date but really Madam Puddifoot's? If that doesn't physically scream "DATE" I don't know what does.
I am currently finishing phase two of my "Getting Harry Back for the Third Time and Getting Rid of All My Competitors" or "GHBFTTTAGROAMC" for short. But I don't really remember that so I just call it "GHB" for short.
Anyway phase two is the most brilliant part of my plan. I was in the library doing my charms homework when I came across a spell that was purely magnificent.
I've seen the way that Harry looks at some girls so I'm going to stop that. If he's mine, I want him to only look at me and the spell I'm going to use will make sure that happens.
The spell's details included these: Harry, out of all the girls in the school, would only be attracted to me and basically find all girls in the school, repulsive. I think its genius and all I have to do is utter two words and Harry will be following me like a puppy dog.
The incantation was fairly simple; "attirera dell" was the only thing I had to say with a flick and swish of the wand. I planned on doing it during breakfast tomorrow morning after I master the wand movement and the incantation.
Next morning:
Ah. And Phase Two of plan GHB commences. It shall be spectacular and memorable! And it shall get me what I've wanted for the past three, four days. Ah, victory is imminent!
I woke up in the morning with a refreshed vigor, climbing out of my bed happily. Bouncing slightly with every step I pulled on my most low cut shirt, shortest skirt, and highest heels. Basically I looked like a slut but today I didn't care how little my clothes are actually covering me as long as Harry's drooling at the first sight of me. I skipped the best I could with heels on, which made me fall over and twist my ankle.
'Damn it!' I thought trying unsuccessfully to untangle my legs. Groaning I patiently pulled off my shoes and put my legs into a more organized position. Standing up, I felt pain shoot up my ankle and hobbled over to my desk. I sat on a chair and looked over at my ankle. It was red, swollen, and quite frankly looked broken.
'Oh my god! Could this day get worse? How am I supposed even make it downstairs with this worthless ankle?' I buried my head in my hands as thoughts and possibilities ran through my head. Finally I came up with my only option. I must commence with Phase Two of GHB because of the amount of time I had until I had to be finished with the whole plan, which is Saturday.
So getting up from the chair I winced as my ankle once again started hurting. Ignoring the pain I put my heels back on and gasped as the pain only intensified. If these shoes hurt before they hurt ten times more with my broken ankle. Sucking up the pain I waddled over to the bathroom and opened the Aspirin bottle. Popping two of them to dull the pain of my pounding headache and ankle, I choked on them. I coughed excessively to make them come out but nothing happen except I made them travel farther down my throat. Finally after three minutes of coughing and choking, the two pills shot out of my throat and down the sink. I scrunched up my face in disgust and took two more pills out of the bottle and swallowed them one at a time. I grimaced when the bitter aftertaste settled in my mouth. I quickly brushed my teeth and applied a thick coat of eyeliner and mascara. I looked at myself appraisingly and thought I looked amazing. Harry and everyone else will be drooling when they see me. Not that I care about what everyone else thinks.
I limped out of the dorm room and into the common room. With a sudden epiphany I placed a cushioning charm on my heels and felt the pain minimize to a dull ache; the aspirin was finally working. As I placed the cushioning charm I rammed into a wall and my headache came back full force. Stumbling, I regained my composure quickly and walked out of the common room before anything else bad could happen.
I walked into the Great Hall a few minutes later during which only a few things happened. I almost fell off the moving staircases, I tripped over myself several times, Peeves dumped flour over my hair and my hair became a total flat mess.
I sighed in exasperation when I saw Harry talking to Ginny. I thought that was over with? I guess I really will have to commence with Phase Three. Ugh, what a bore.
My eyes once again scanned the Great Hall and saw Anthony staring lustfully in Ginny's direction. 'What a naive fool.' I thought. I still couldn't quite believe Anthony believed me so easily. Just watch when Anthony finds out that his precious Ginny has disappeared to who knows where. Ah, it shall be spectacular.
I stumbled into the Great Hall and looked over at Harry to see his reaction. Nothing. He didn't even look over at me; all he did was staring at the slag Ginny Weasley.
I glared at the back of Ginny's head and walked over to where they sat. I sat down hurriedly and called over Harry's attention to me.
"Harry-bear!" I called ecstatically. Isn't that the cutest nickname ever? It's second to my all time favorite, hunny bunny bumpkin boo.
Harry turned his head with a disgusted expression on his beautiful face. I shoved my chest on the table, blinked my eyes rapidly, and lowered my voice to sound sexier.
"Hi, Harry. You look awfully hot today." I said with my specially lowered and sexier voice.
He turned toward me with an appalled and disgusted expression. I felt anger build inside me. How dare he look at me like that? After all I've done for him! I glared at Ginny. 'This is all her fault. She's seduced Harry so now he's blind to all the beauty that I possess. God, could this get worse? What does she have that I don't? Maybe it's her red hair. Maybe I should dye my hair red. Maybe Harry will like me better that way. Yeah that's a good idea...' I thought with satisfaction but with another glance at Harry the anger resurfaced with full force.
I took out my wand from my skirts waistband. With the anger still intact, I waved my wand in his Harry's direction under the table and said:
"Attirera Dell Miranda!" I whispered with fever. I watched with frustration as Harry's face didn't turn blank as it was supposed. Unfortunately, I didn't notice the pimple faced, lanky, and incredibly geeky Slytherin turn around in his seat with a dazed expression. In my anger and frustration my aim was a little off.
As I watched Harry start talking to Ginny, I cast the spell again but stumbled over the words.
"Attirere De Miranda." I said this time in Harry's direction. This time the spell did hit him but with different results than expected. Harry's face turned blank and I waited with suspenseful breath when Harry would turn toward me. But that never happened.
Harry turned to Ginny with a dazed grin. His eyes traveled over her body and up again.
"Wow! Ginny, you're really hot!" He said with an enormous grin and widened eyes.
Ginny blushed and looked down. I glared a little at her.
Harry looked over the whole hall with widened eyes and shouted:
"YOU'RE ALL SO HOT!" He shouted with baffled and amazed eyes. I almost started crying when he looked at me and sneered.
"Except you." He said disgusted.
Frustrated and saddened tears emerged out of my eyes but he paid no mind. He just kept on gazing over all the 'hot' girls in the hall. After what he shouted girls started gathering around him and he lapped up the attention like a dog.
I covered my hands over my eyes and didn't notice the Slytherin behind me until he tapped me on the shoulder.
He had a lovesick expression and I instantly knew I must've done something wrong.
"Hey, Miranda. How are you today?" He sighed. I screamed and ran out, him following after my every step.
Harry's pov
My eyes wandered over the mass of beautiful girls around me. I am practically drooling, they were that gorgeous. I don't know how I didn't notice them before but I'm glad I finally realized.
I was currently flirting with, maybe, ten girls at the same time. God, life is good.
Miranda's pov
Phase Two of plan GHBFTTTAGROAMC had failed immensely. Harry basically finds every girl attractive except me.
I am currently brooding in my common room, trying to relax with Slytherin massaging my feet. Yes, it's true. I have taken the love sick Slytherin as my little puppet, or slave as some people might call it. He just wouldn't stop following me around so I've made him do some of the stuff I haven't gotten to do yet.
So far I've made him do my laundry, spy on Harry, massage feet, give me a pedicure, organize my closet, spy on Ginny, restock my supply of chocolate, and spy on Harry.
What I've heard from Agent 0014, he insisted I call him that apparently because he was two times smarter than 007 and he said he heard that comment in some muggle film named 'The Informant' and ever since he's wanted to be called it, hasn't been good.
Harry has been following, flirting, and snogging every female he has come across.
Apparently he got detention for a week when McGonagall found him snogging Millicent Bulstrode on her desk. Also another week's detention when Flitwick found him snogging Pansy Parkinson on his charms desk. He has some fetish with making out on teacher's desks. I cried for four hours when I heard about this newest bit of info.
Basically he's become a man-slut and I'm not happy about it one bit. So I've come up with extra plan; a back-up plan for the royally messed up Phase Two.
I'm going to have Agent 0014 cast the spell over again onto Harry. Hopefully the spell will have worn off by then and when recast it will work right.
Next day:
I am so screwed! So, I had Agent 0014 recast the spell on Harry while he was eating lunch. Unfortunately, the spell hadn't quite worn off, so now Harry also finds EVERYONE hot! Including guys, and maybe even Dumbledore…When did my life get so screwed up?
So now instead of flirting with every girl, he's flirting with everyone! And from what I've heard he even flirted with Agent 0014 and he's repulsive! He hasn't snogged any guys but it's only a matter of time until he does.
On Wednesday I had to see for myself what he was doing and see if he was still repulsed from the sight of me. He was.
It was during passing period and Harry had a crowd of girls and guys following him. He was ecstatically telling a story while looking appreciatively at the girl next to him. Before I walked over to him he lowered his head and forcefully kissed the girl. I felt my heart stop but I couldn't stop looking and neither could anyone else.
They stayed in that passionate embrace for a good ten minutes during which both looked like they were in heaven. But I still couldn't tear my eyes away. When they finally separated, Harry had a stupid grin on his face and the girl fell into a dead faint, falling onto the floor with a dull thud.
"Who's next?" Harry said arrogantly. Everyone in the hall raised their hands including me. I saw his eyes pass over me with a disdainful look. My heart fell once again, it still hadn't worked. After looking at me, Harry looked at the rest of the people in the hall and rested his eyes on a beautiful, yet eager, seventh year. He walked over to the redhead, that reminds me I need to get Agent 0014 to dye my hair, and dragged her into the nearest classroom. I walked away with tears flooding my eyes.
Right now, Agent 0014 is dyeing my hair the old-fashioned muggle way. I wanted him to do it this way because the color will stay in longer and the color will be more permanent. 0014 has put a blindfold over my eyes so I'll be surprised when I see my hair. I have to say, I'm starting to like Agent 0014's company, he's become my only friend at Hogwarts quickly. Even if I don't know his name.
Agent 0014's voice halted my thoughts. "Miranda? You're hair's ready." He sighed.
I eagerly ripped off the blindfold and waited until I could see again. I gaped. This can't be happening!
The hair color was a very unattractive bright orange with streaks of platinum blond. I looked like circus clown. I screamed very loudly and pinched myself to make sure this was not a dream. Pain shot up my arm but otherwise I was still looking at my hideous hair.
Agent 0014 sighed in happiness and I remembered his presence. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? IS THIS A JOKE? AM I BEING PUNK'D?" I looked wildly around, trying to find the hidden cameras that I was sure were there.
"No." 0014 said with a confused look. I stared at him angrily and ran to my bed where I screamed into my pillow.
Draco's pov
'Harry Potter just flirted with me. Flirted with me. ME. Harry Potter. Flirted with me. Harry. Potter. Flirted. With. Me. FLIRTED. WITH. ME. HARRY. POTTER.' I thought before I fainted.
Harry's pov
"There is something wrong with you, Harry..." I heard Hermione distantly say. I wasn't really listening because I was looking over at a very hot sixth year across the hall from me. She was wearing a very short skirt which I was currently staring at me.
Leaving behind Hermione's reprimanding I walked over to the hot girl but halfway to her I felt something settle over me. My face became blank and I felt a little queasy.
My only thought before I ran away was:
'What the hell happened to me?'
Hogwarts was incredibly sad about the termination of man-slut Harry Potter. But even more were angry. Harry Potter hasn't ever in his life had 'I thought we had something special!' yelled into his ear than that first day. And he was especially shocked when Draco Malfoy yelled that into his face too.
The only comfort and fun he had been when he saw the state of Miranda Green's hair. He probably hasn't laughed as hard as when he saw her hair.
Pretty soon everyone got over their anger and sadness and everything went back normal. But, of course, in Harry Potter's life nothing is ever normal.
Harry's pov
Something strange and disgusting just happened.
Ron and I were at Hogsmede to restock on our candy and to get a butter beer, when we heard a crash from outside. I ran out of Honeydukes when I heard screams coming from the main street. What I saw was complete chaos and dozens of Death Eaters torturing people. I felt anger build inside me and I shot spell after spell on the Death Eaters. When they saw me all of them froze and stared at me.
They started walking towards me and I stayed where I was; I wasn't afraid of these cowards. But instead of attacking me or trying to kill me, they started petting my hair. I squirmed away from them but they managed to continue.
"My, my, my, Harry Potter you've grown awfully fast. You're even more gorgeous in person. I must say I'm a fan of your photos in that muggle newspaper. They were excellent. Would you mind taking a couple of similar pictures with us?" One of them that sounded suspiciously like Bellatrix Lestrange said.
"Um...No. Could you kindly get off me?" I asked impatiently.
"You're hair is so soft." Bellatrix murmured.
They continued to comb through my hair and I tried to grab my wand from my back pocket but only ended up elbowing the nearest Death Eater when I finally reached it.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Harrykins. Don't think you can rid of us so easily." Bellatrix said as she summoned my wand. I was now unarmed. Damn.
"If only you weren't goody-two-shoes-Potter I might just do some explicit stuff to you. If only the Dark Lord would let me kidnap you I might just have my way with you. I've always wondered if you were a feisty one." Lestrange mumbled as her hands went from my hair to my chest and then lower. I kicked in her direction before she could get any lower. She didn't react.
She sighed. "I guess we'll have to leave you, Harry darling, before the muggle-loving fool comes along." All the others disapparated but Bellatrix stayed where she was. She leaned up and whispered into my ear:
"Be a good boy, Harry. We will meet again and I shall be waiting." She sighed. "It will be a sad day when the Dark Lord kills you." I shivered in disgust.
She kissed my forehead through her mask, and disapparated the only sound in all of Hogsmeade being the pop and the thud my wand made when it hit the ground.
Hogsmeade was oddly deserted when I looked around not including Ron and me. I picked up my wand and turned to Ron who was standing there, shocked.
We walked back to Hogwarts after a quick butter beer from the Three Broomsticks. When we arrived back at the dorm, I immediately jumped in the shower, making sure the door was closed, and scrubbed myself clean for thirty minutes. But even after that amount of time, I still felt I had Lestrange and Death Eater all over me.