Here I am you guys ! Like I imagined, I got sick of studying already... LOL
Thank you guys for your reviews ! Like I always say, they help me a lot pursuing my writing !
I don't know if I'll update again soon because I really do have to focus on my exams, but who knows, I might get sick of studying again lol.
Anyways thanks again for your feedbacks you lovelies, to the ones I get on twitter as well !
Here's chapter 13 ;)
Alison's POV
"Hanna.", Alison repeats, imitating the other blonde's greeting.
She watches Hanna glaring at her, not really sure what she's up to. One thing she's sure about, she doesn't like being set up. She doesn't like the two girls in front of her planning to trick her behind her back. She did tell Emily she would try to fix everything, but she would've liked the brunette to at least talk to her about meeting Hanna, since the other blonde hadn't been exactly easy on Alison for quite a while now.
"Emily, can you leave the two of us for a minute ?", Hanna asks the brunette, not breaking her glare at the other blonde.
Alison's eyes widen. Why does Hanna want Emily to be apart of their conversation ? She doesn't want the brunette to leave, even though she's kind of pissed at her, she doesn't want to face Hanna's angry state alone as she would like Emily to be by her side meanwhile.
"There's nothing Emily shouldn't hear.", Alison speaks sternly, catching the brunette's gaze suddenly on her.
She hopes Emily gets the message she's trying to send her through her begging look and she's relieved as the brunette slowly sits on the couch, clearly intending to participate in this talk that will most probably turn into an argument.
"Fine.", Hanna finally says, standing still while crossing her arms.
An awkward silence settles in the living room as each of the three girls wait for it to break somehow. It takes a few minute until Alison can't help but reproof the brunette.
"You know, it would've been nice if you'd at least worn me instead of tricking me", the former queen B states while glancing at Emily.
"What ? No I-I didnt-", the brunette begins defensively but is cut of by her friend.
"Don't worry Alison, your Emily would never do that to you.", she grunts coldly, earning frowns from both the brunette and the other blonde.
"Don't make it sound like that", Alison demands.
She hates that she has to justify herself again. Hates that everyone keeps judging her, judging how she feels about Emily when they literally have no idea about her true emotions.
"Isn't it how you want it ? Isn't it how you always wanted it ?", Hanna growls.
Alison can see the anger in the blonde's eyes. She isn't quite sure where it's coming from, though, either from both the blondes history or that whole A drama.
"Look Hanna, if that's your way of letting off steam on me after that whole A thing...", Alison begins, shaking her head slowly.
She doesn't know how did she think she could try to talk to them. They didn't even get into the topic yet and she's irritated already. She doesn't want to prove her innocence to Hanna as the whole situation pisses her off. She'd rather the rest of the girls finding out at the end that they were all wrong, and maybe for once Alison would be seen as she truly is. Maybe they would finally stop questioning everything about her. She would rather wait for that moment than spending days trying to convince them.
"I didn't ask Emily to bring you here to talk about that. Em already filled me that speech and I don't need to hear it again.", Hanna speaks boldly.
Alison can't help feeling annoyed by the other blonde's haughtiness. She guesses what Hanna wanted her for, and she glances at the quiet brunette as thinks about it, watching her frowning in her unique way. She wonders how the blonde figured her and Emily's -kind of- relationship out as she has a hard time picturing the brunette admitting it.
She doesn't even ask Hanna what she wants her for as the other blonde made it quite obvious with her previous comments.
"How did you figure it out ?", she asks curiously.
Hanna lets out a sarcastic chuckle, glancing at the brunette's neck.
"Let's say you're not as good at hiding it as you used to, you know, when you guys didn't make each other moan... yet", Hanna says, revealing a fake smirk.
Both the brunette and the blonde awkwardly look away, as they never discussed their relationship in front of anyone before.
Hanna steps closer to Alison, glaring at her spitefully, earning a worried look from the startled other blonde.
"That far, Ali ? You'd go that far just to get what you want ?", she grumbles, still glaring wickedly at Alison.
"Hanna !", Emily finally speaks as she actually shouts, getting up from the couch.
Hanna isn't the only one glaring spitefully now. Alison's glare is just as horrid as the blonde's now that she's furious.
She can't believe she's struggling more facing Hanna than she struggled facing Paige, which at least was Emily's girlfriend. It feels like she's fighting for the brunette all over again, and she has a feeling she isn't going to be done fighting for her sometime soon.
"You're permitting yourself way too much, Hanna", Alison grunts, feeling her teeth clench as she clasps her lips.
"Not when it comes to Emily. You're out of your mind if you seriously think I'm going to let you harm Emily", Hanna bawls out.
"Hanna ! This isn't what we agreed on !", the brunette speaks again, shouting.
Both of the blondes ignore Emily's objection as Alison gets even closer to the still glaring blonde.
She can't even think straight right now as she feels herself enraged. She fights the urge to yell at Hanna, she tries to calm herself before speaking again.
"All I've ever done is protect Emily ! Don't pretend that you care about her more than I do because you're not the one that had risked everything for her !", she almost yells at the blonde, feeling herself heating up.
She can't allow Hanna to act like out of the two of them, she's the one that really loves Emily as she's definitely not the one that's in love with the brunette.
"Really, Ali ? You're going to convince me that you're the one that cares about Emily the most right now ? After everything you did to her ? After breaking her heart by faking your death ?"
"Don't mix things Hanna ! Me running away had nothing to do with her nor any of you ! I did everything I could to keep all of you safe. I have put myself into danger to save her-"
"Yeah well guess what ? While you were away, we're the ones that were here for her, picking up the pieces that YOU dared to tear apart ! You can't just come back and claim that you're the one that has done the most for her !", Hanna literally shrieks, interrupting the other blonde.
Alison watches Hanna breathing heavily as she remembers the brunette was still there. She turns her gaze as she sees Emily's face completely stupefied. She seems speechless at the two blondes argument about herself.
"Why are we even fighting about this, Hanna ? I know that you sticked together while I was gone. I know that you've always been here for each other. I know that nothing can ever grow you apart.", she beings, "...but it's not like I just walked in !", she says as her voice breaks, "... I was there before ! How could you not trust that Emily is safe with me while she's everything I ever cared about ?".
Her eyes are red, she can feel the tears starting to blind her as she can see Hanna's shocked face expression.
She then feels Emily's hand holding hers, but she doesn't dare looking at the brunette as she's afraid she might break.
So she fights back her tears, finding back her almost normal state as she speaks again.
"While you might worry about Caleb, while Spencer might worry about Toby, while Aria might worry about Ezra, Emily's the one that I worry about. She's the one that I go to when I want to feel safe. She's the one that I think about whenever I'm scared. Emily is the only one that I'm frightened to lose, because I don't think I could ever go through that again."
She realizes how it sounds, everything she just said, but she couldn't care less, because that's how she truly feels and she promised herself that she would never fight back the feelings she has towards Emily again.
She watches Hanna dropping her gaze to the floor. She then feels herself brave enough to look at the brunette. Emily's eyes are shining, like tears are threatening to fall to her gorgeous face. Alison haven't seen the brunette so vulnerable since she got back, and she just wants to hold her, to kiss her tears away.
"Em...", she begins, leading her hand to find Emily's cheek, but is stopped as Hanna grabs her wrist and turns her around to face her.
"You did this, Ali. You made it impossible for us to trust you. It doesn't matter whether I believe your words or not, because who knows how's it going to turn out ?", she speaks sternly but way less harshly than before.
"It doesn't matter whether you trust me right now or not, Hanna. I'm not going to try harder. You're going to realize, when everything is going to be over, that you were wrong about me.", Alison simply answers.
She loves Hanna, Aria and Spencer, she really does. But she can't help her frustration toward them. She can't help craving them to feel guilty about accusing her of such a dreadful thing. The only thing she's worried about, is being kept away from Emily.
"Then how about you leave her alone until then ?", Hanna demands harshly again.
"Enough Hanna ! I'm not going to watch you act like I'm some-", the brunette tries to speak but is cut off by Hanna.
"I told you to leave us ! Now can you at least let met me say what I want to say ?", the blonde exclaims.
"Unless it's what Emily wants, I'm not going anywhere", Alison finally replies, catching the brunette giving her a confused look.
"Then you're definitely not, you're right", Hanna states while grabbing her purse and quickly walking out before any of the two other girls can protest.
An uncomfortable silence settles between the two girls. Alison is confused among her feelings, her reproofs, her disappointment. The brunette was just standing there the whole time, while Alison was hoping she would be there to help, not just mostly watch them arguing, but Emily is the one that breaks the silence.
"What do you mean unless it's what I want ? You think I want you to back off ?", she asks worriedly.
"Why were you even there, Emily ? It felt like I wasn't only proving myself to Hanna, but also to you. Why don't you just admit that you still don't fully trust me ?", Alison calls out.
"Alison... How can you say that, at this point ? I can't talk for you !" the brunette defends while she lets go of the blonde's hand.
"I'm tired, Emily ! Tired of always feeling examined. Tired of being expected to justify myself. I'm tired of everyone reminding me about everything that has happened years ago... Can't you just get it over with ? Are we going to bring the past up until we're forty ?", Alison literally shouts.
"What do you want me to do about it ? You want me to tell everyone to leave you alone ? Don't you think I'm tired of everyone acting like i'm just some idiot that loses their mind when their in love ? Don't you think I got enough of everyone accusing me of being blind when it comes to you ?", Emily now shouts.
The blonde just stares at the brunette for a moment. She can't believe they're fighting, again. She thought they were done fighting, she thought she would focus on how she feels as everything seemed so perfect with Emily until she realizes now how there's always someone that'll make it impossible.
"Maybe Hanna's right. Maybe I should just leave you alone as clearly, I'm nothing but trouble", she avers, afraid her voice might break again as she's stepping to the front door.
"No ! Ali please don't leave like this !", she hears Emily's breaking voice from behind, not sure if she should turn around as she's afraid she might start sobbing.
She choses the easiest option as she just walks out of the brunette's house. She hates to leave Emily like this, but she's just exhausted about everything. The past week had already been difficult with everything she and the brunette went through and she just can't believe it's starting all over again, right when everything felt so good.
She hears someone walking briskly behind her, basically running. She turns around and is startled by no one else but Emily's grip on her wrist.
"You can't leave like this. You can't just let me spend a terrible New Year night", the brunette says panting.
"See everything is always about you, Em. You're too damn terrified to feel hurt while you don't even think about how I might be the one that's hurting", Alison calls out with her broken voice, tears all over her face.
"Ali, I was the only one scared for your feelings when you got back ! And I still am the only one", Emily cries.
"But between to the two of us you never even realized how much you already hurt me. Accusing me of being A, messing around with me while you were with someone else.", she begins, crying as she can't even see the brunette anymore, "It feels like everything is so fragile, like everything could fall apart again if I do any mistake ! I don't want you to be around you conditionally.", she reveals as she turns around to go but is held by Emily's grip.
"Emily ! You're hurting me ! Just let me go, I can't face you right now."
"No ! I'm not letting you go", the brunette says as she pulls the crying blonde into her arms. Alison tries to free herself from Emily's arms but she realizes the brunette's strength as she can barely move.
She presses her forehead against Emily's shoulder trying to distance herself from the brunette as much as possible as she can't handle being close to her right now without literally breaking.
"Ali don't push me away, please.", the brunette whispers with her trembling voice, "Please Ali, I love you", she adds.
The blonde finally lets herself fall into the brunette's embrace, feeling her body warm at Emily's sweet last words. She feels the brunette's heart race against her own, and she just wants to feel it there forever, wrapped under her arms.
".. So unconditionally", Emily whispers into the blonde's ear.
Alison moves her hands to wrap them tight around the brunette's waist, her face buried into Emily's neck, wetting it with her pouring tears.
"I love you, Emily", she murmurs into the brunette's neck as her lips graze her skin.
She's not sure whether the brunette heard her or not as both of them are panting, but it doesn't matter to her, because she could say it again and again, forever, until the brunette hears it right.
So that was quite a dramatic chapter, i'm sorry about that ! But at least I ended it sweetly !
Thank you guys for reading ! Hope you enjoyed this chapter ! I'll try to update it as soon as soon as possible, I promise.
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Stay tuned !
Muaaaaah to all my Emisonians.