Chapter thirteen:
"Ugh." Kaoru groans as he begins to awaken but his vision is blurry and all that he can see is white. His eyes also are only going to about half open in which he blinks a few times trying to clear up his vision. His vision finally starts to clear up and he is finally able to open his eyes fully. He sees just white. "What?"
"Ah. You're awake." A strange voice speaks then the white changes to a beautiful mix of blues that are darker than sky blue with white round floating star like objects.
Kaoru sits up finding himself sitting on a pathway of stars that have the really light blue look. He turns to look to the direction the voice came from and also standing on the pathway of stars is a figure.
The figure is draped in a black cloak that looks like a black thin blanket wrapped around him, his face is exposed while the hood of the cloak is up and he smiles. He has brown hair that is lighter than Haruhi's, star blue colour and his skin looks rather pale. His body is covered by the cloak so his face is really the main thing that Kaoru can make out about him. His pale lips smile in a gentle and kind greeting.
"Who are you and where am I?" Kaoru questions remaining where he is for now as he watches the figure a little scared that this person might do something.
"You have no reason to be afraid. This place is not like the living world." The figure explains with his kind patient and calm voice. "You are in the void."
"The void?" Kaoru questions finally getting to his feet and he glances around to the starry sky like area around them.
"Yes." The figure nods as Kaoru turns back to him. "The place between life and death." He explains further making Kaoru blink in slight surprise upon hearing this. "Currently you are teetering on the edge and it is time for the decision on whether you will move on to be judged for your place in the afterlife or for you to return to the land of the living."
"I'm ready." Kaoru speaks after a moment of silence as he lowered his head enough for his bangs to cast a shadow over his eyes while the other had been speaking. "I wish to go to the afterlife."
"Are you sure you're ready?" The figure questions. "I think that there is still more that you can do in the living world. So much you'll be leaving behind." He watches the other who just slightly glances away so he sighs. "I also wanted to talk to you." He admits his eyes flickering downwards. "I had a feeling that you'd give up so easily like that. It is truly sad how if someone wishes to do harm then it can be so easy to make that person stop caring… To stop wanting to live…" He takes a silent deep breath through his nose then he looks back to the other. "Kaoru Hitachiin. Let's not decide this so quickly." He suggests keeping his eyes on the other and he even brings his hands out that are just as pale as the rest of him and he is shown to be wearing a skin tight long sleeved black shirt and a little of his jeans along with black ankle high boots are also exposed as the cloak opens a little.
"Why should it matter?" Kaoru questions still not looking at the figure. "I don't deserve to live. I've done so many wrong things."
"And what about your friends?" The figure slightly tilts his head. "Or your brother?"
At the mention of Hikaru Kaoru slightly flinches almost as if leaning back in surprise at the reminder of the slightly older twin.
Kaoru looks away even more. "I can't." He almost speaks quietly but the other can hear him. "I can't tell them what I did… What I have done… They'd never forgive me… They'd hate me." He explains while the figure tilts his head back to its rightful angle.
"Do you really have such little faith in those that you hold so close?" The figure questions in which Kaoru finally looks up to look to him in surprise letting his eyes be seen and their eyes meet easily as they are rather close in height. "Do you really believe that those that you truly care for so much would toss you aside because of something like what you have done?"
Kaoru blinks at this then lets out a small huff of air that is close to a sigh. "I don't think you understand all that I have done." He tells the figure. "I've-"
"Killed because you were being forced to take part in a gangs activities? Being left without a choice because it would mean death for you all if you involved those you cared for?" The figure interrupts Kaoru. "Trust me. I know everything that you have done. I have seen it. While you were in the darkness waiting to meet with me I looked into your life. Seeing what I needed. So I know."
"Then you know why I can't tell them. Why they'd hate me." Kaoru responds keeping his eyes on the figure. "I've Killed! Killed! That isn't something that they can just forgive me for! I can't tell them what I've done!"
"They'll find out one way or another Kaoru." The figure reminds him. "They'll know what you have done. What you were forced to do. It's unavoidable either way."
"I still say that I should just head off to the afterlife. It'll be easier on them… Easier on Hikaru…" Kaoru glances away his eyes falling to half open with a sad gaze sparkling in his eyes.
"Kaoru." The figure moves a little closer with his footsteps making no sound at all as he walks. "I must be honest. It'll be easier on them to hear it from you instead of having to find out on their own." He places a hand on Kaoru's shoulder and his touch is so cold as if his body was not producing body heat. "They'll wish that you hadn't pushed them away and you'll leave them with regret of never being able to tell you how they feel about the whole thing." He watches Kaoru's eyes flicker to his own eyes once more. "Give them a chance instead of just giving up on them so quickly. Life is not meant to be easy. There will always be bumps in the road throughout everyone's lives. The bumps depend on the person but everyone will experience them. Remain strong."
Kaoru takes a shaky breath then he and the figure turn to gaze to the path behind Kaoru that leads off and seems to disappear into a darker blue.
"In the end it is your choice alone. I cannot make it for you. Which path will you take?" The figure nods as Kaoru turns to him after he is done speaking.
Kaoru turns back to where they were looking and after a moment he finally begins walking in that direction but stops when a light starts to appear. He turns around to look to the figure. "Who are you?" He questions making the man smile at him.
"I am neither heaven nor hell." The figure speaks almost mysteriously and suddenly two feathered wings appear and slowly spread out from behind his back as if attached to him. He has a pure white wing on his right side and an inky black one on his left. "I am the Judge."
A second after the Judge explains who he is the light of white takes over Kaoru's vision so all he sees is white then darkness.