A/N: You almost didn't get an update today because I got in a huff with FFnet. See, I edit the documents on here just before uploading, and I had just got to the end and hit 'save' when FFnet was like 'lol, no, you need to log in' even though I had been logged in! So I go back to the doc and it didn't save! DDDDDDDDDX

Aaaaaaaanyway... Can't thank you enough for the reviews/follows/faves. Those notification emails always make me smile.

Also, lack of sleep makes me write weird stuff XD

It was well past sundown by the time Tara and Cat left the pub and began to head through the darkened streets back towards their own accommodation. Cat lead them towards the taxi rank she had seen in town, feeling it would be safer to speed back to the relative safety of their room than to brave the shadowy streets on foot. They made their way to the front of the queue of cars and Cat opened the rear passenger door and stepped aside for Tara to climb in first, behind the driver. Cat followed her in and pulled the door shut, greeting the driver and calling out the address of the hotel as she buckled up her seat belt. The driver nodded his head and pulled away from the curb, nosing them into the trickle of mid-week late-night traffic. As he concentrated on getting them across the roundabout and heading the right way out of town Cat turned her attention to Tara.

The young Wiccan sat with her head down, body twisted to half face the window beside herself. Her shoulders were tense, and she seemed to be deep in thought. Cat felt it best to leave her to it and so instead settled back into her own seat, listening to the car radio through the barrier of clear polycarbonate separating the passengers from the driver. Those shields always made her feel like a convict being transported to a holding cell or something. She smirked at that thought and turned her head to look out of the window at the buildings passing them by as the car headed out of town.

Tara's silence continued as the taxi turned off the road and into the hotel car park. She barely seemed to register they were back.

"Here is good." Cat said to the driver, pressing the release on her seatbelt and sitting forwards to pull a handful of cash from her back pocket. The driver stopped the car and put the handbrake on and the gear stick into neutral, leaving the engine running as he reached above himself to turn on the interior light.

Tara left the vehicle and made her way to their hotel room, standing and waiting by the door as Cat had the keys.

"£8.40, then, please." Said the driver, turning in his seat to face Cat. She unfolded a ten from the notes in her hand and slid it through the gap in the screen.

"Keep the change." She said, sliding out of the car and closing the door. She crossed the car park and made her way over to Tara, stuffing her money back into one pocket, withdrawing the keys from another. She heard the taxi leave the car park and head back into town behind her. Tara stood back to let Cat unlock the door.

"Are you okay?" The reaper asked, keys paused just touching the look. She fixed Tara with a worried stare. Tara looked down, letting her hair fall across her face in a curtain, hiding behind it.

"Finey McFine." She mumbled. Cat frowned at the weird choice of words, but grunted in acceptance and unlocked the door to their room. She stepped inside and flipped the light switch on, dimly illuminating the room with an oh-so-useless energy saving light bulb, then chucked the keys onto the desk and was just about to sit on the edge of her bed to take off her boots when the sound of the door closing was promptly followed by Tara bursting into tears. Cat whipped round and stared at her. Sure, Tara had seemed pretty down and lost in her thoughts since leaving the pub, but this sudden breakdown had been entirely unexpected.

"Tara, what..?!"

"I can't go back to them!" Tara sobbed. "I can't. It hurts…It hurts me and it's killing Willow, and Kennedy?" Poor Kennedy… Tara had originally been under the impression that when she and Willow found each other again it would be a joyous occasion. Less so when she discovered Willow had moved on and found another woman. But still…

"Tara, what are you talking about?! You have to go back!" Cat was aghast. If Tara gave up then they could kiss goodbye to putting a stop to Rigel's crazy schemes. "You can't turn your back on this."

"I'm hurting her!" She had seen the turmoil in Willow's eyes. Perhaps the redhead hadn't moved on as far as Tara had first thought… Willow seemed to feel incredibly awkward about even so much as looking at Kennedy in front of Tara. She felt guilty and…more. Tara saw the familiar spark in those green eyes whenever Willow looked at her. And that seemed to pain Willow, to scare her even. And she seemed so, so confused. Tara was acutely aware of the chaos her presence was causing for Willow.

"Tara!" Cat strode back across the room and gripped her upper arms. She had to talk sense into Tara. It must just be the shock of everything finally catching up with her. She waited for the taller woman to look her in the eyes. "It was never going to be easy."

"It could have been…" Tara said softly, sniffing and wiping tears from her face as she fought to get herself under control.

"No." Cat replied, releasing her and stepping back to give her some space. Tara's outburst seemed to have calmed her somewhat, as though a moment of craziness had left behind clarity. "Life isn't easy. And if you die and come back…I think that makes it twice as hard. But maybe you'll have a reward soon. I mean, like…Karma, right?" Tara took a deep breath, and offered Cat a sheepish half smile.

"Sorry… I guess I kind of lost it…"

"Nonsense." Cat shook her head, turned her back to go over to the desk and lift the kettle. "Let's say we fix this the English way, huh?" She shook the kettle at Tara and gave a playful grin. "There's nothing in this world that can't be fixed by a good strong cuppa!" She said, walking backwards into the bathroom to fill the kettle at the sink. Tara gave a short, soft laugh and got two mugs ready with teabags. "Go sit!" Cat ordered as she re-emerged with a full kettle, jabbing a finger across the room at Tara's bed.

"Cat, I'm fine." She insisted.

"Finey McFine?" Cat said, putting the kettle on its stand and jiggling it until it fell into place. "Who says that, anyway?" She rolled her eyes.

"Willow." Tara replied.

"A fine phrase if I do say so myself!" The reaper swiftly covered, flicking the switch on the kettle and turning to face Tara, who was looking at her with one eyebrow raised in amusement.

"It's okay, you know?" She said. "I know Willow comes out with some strange things. It's part of her…" She trailed off, trying to find the right word or phrase.

"Charm…?" Cat ventured softly. Tara nodded in agreement, blue eyes flicking to the kettle as it finished boiling. Cat turned and lifted it to pour water into their waiting mugs. "I don't care what people say, ya gotta drink tea from a mug. Can't get nothing in a silly little tea cup!" Tara smiled faintly, pouring milk into her mug from the little single serving milk portion. She chucked the empty pot in the bin then picked up her mug by the handle.

"I'm…Going to go outside for a minute. For air." She said, backing away from the desk as she spoke. Cat looked at her curiously, pausing in stirring her tea. "Just…Noisy thoughts." She circled one finger by her temple and Cat nodded in understanding.

"Okay, well, don't go far." She warned. Tara shook her head.

"I'll be right outside." She replied, turning and opening the door. She pulled it closed behind herself, though left it ajar so she could get back in without disturbing Cat. Cat watched suspiciously for a moment, then took her tea over to her bed, took her battered old Diskman out of her bedside cabinet and pulled on her headphones.

Outside Tara took a long slow breath in and exhaled it just as slowly. The night was chilly, and it helped to clear the fog in her mind, to calm the raging thoughts buzzing around her head and to order them. Her little cry had helped her despite also embarrassing her, to release some of the emotional build-up of the past…few days she supposed. And Cat was right, she couldn't turn her back on this simply because it was hard. Willow and Kennedy were clearly in some sort of predicament because of her, and that made her feel terrible, but there were more people in the group than those two. Buffy for one, who had often come to Tara for support, and poor Dawn… Giles who had always been such a great father figure (which was good considering her own father sucked), and Xander, goofy but brave, a brilliant friend.

She wrapped both hands around her mug, enjoying the warmth from the hot tea seeping through the ceramic to warm her hands against the cool air. The night sky was clear, the stars shining as well as they could through the city lights. With a chill she realized she could see Orion the hunter shining high above, Rigel burning bright at the end of his leg. She dropped her gaze to the steam curling up from her tea. Willow had attempted to teach her constellations but that hadn't gone especially well. Orion and The Plough were pretty much the only ones she could identify with any certainty. Moose Getting a Sponge Bath and Little Pile o' Crackers were much easier.

Now that she and Cat and the Scoobies were together, it was sort of like old times. Fighting the good fight with her friends. Not that she did much fighting in the traditional sense… Now that she thought about it, despite her little outburst (or perhaps because of it?), she was looking forwards to getting back to the pub in the morning and not just because she would get to see Willow again. She wanted to help, and she wanted to do that with her friends.

She lifted her mug of tea to her lips to take a sip, still lost in thoughts of her friends, when she gradually became aware of loud singing from behind her. She frowned and turned, pushing the door open further to peek inside the hotel room and was greeted by the sight of Cat dancing around the room belting out whatever song was being relayed through her headphones in between stuffing Jaffa Cakes into her mouth from the blue and orange box she held in one hand.

"Cat, what…?" Tara started and the reaper froze in place, still as a statue with one foot held up in the air. Tara couldn't help but laugh, and Cat promptly put her foot down and dragged her headphones back so they hung about her neck.

"Wha-at?" She demanded. Tara bit her lip to get her giggles under control and raised one eyebrow playfully.

"So, Linkin Park, huh?" She asked. Cat shrugged and stuffed another Jaffa Cake in her mouth.

"I fink I ushed t' like 'em afore I died." She spoke round her food. Tara entered the room properly and closed the door behind her. "Jaffa Cake?" Cat offered the box, but Tara shook her head and instead sat cross legged on her bed with her tea. Cat swallowed and followed suit across the room on her own bed. "I forgot how much I love these. I mean, what sort of a country doesn't have Jaffa Cakes?" She looked almost accusingly at Tara. "You guys are seriously missing out. Hey, check this out!" She pulled out a Jaffa Cake with a grin and held it between thumb and forefinger out towards Tara, showing her a full circle. "Full moon!" She bit it in half. "Half moon!" Stuffed the lot in her mouth and spread her hands. "Total eclipse!"

"Wow…Um…" Tara frowned at her and laughed.

"It's an advert!"

"Sure. Okay." Tara replied and drank her tea, seriously considering asking Cat to go on a sugar and caffeine-free diet.

The room was warm and quiet, soothing. Kennedy had lit a couple of candles bought the previous day in an attempt to make it feel more relaxing, sensing Willow was quite highly strung after the day's events. She brought a lavender scented pillar candle over to the bed, the flame flickering from the movement, and set it down on Willow's bedside table. The redhead smiled gratefully, sat at her pillow with her knees drawn up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. Her hair was still damp from the shower she had taken in an attempt to wind down after Tara had left. Kennedy crossed the room and flicked off the main light, leaving on the light in the bathroom so that the room was only dimly lit.

"Better?" She asked, and Willow nodded, watching the candle beside herself. Already the room was filled with the calming scent of lavender and vanilla.

"Much." She murmured. Still, it did nothing to quiet the storm in her mind. She felt the mattress dip beside her as Kennedy sat on the edge.

"Kinda romantic, huh?" The slayer asked playfully.

"I guess." Willow answered vaguely. Kennedy reached out and rubbed the back of her girlfriend's shoulder comfortingly.

"Did you want to talk about it?" She asked gently, expression serious. Willow sighed and tore her gaze away from the candle, and leaned her shoulders back against the wall.

"I don't know." She stated. Kennedy nodded her head.

"Okay." She said. "That's okay."

"I just…don't know." Willow continued. "I feel like everything I thought was real has been turned on its head and I just don't know anymore. I get that it's not like my whole life has been a lie, but it kinda feels like it is, ya know?" Kennedy didn't know, but knew better than to say so. "Like, I went crazy and tried to destroy the world because Tara died and then there was the whole healing process and I finally got some sort of closure and now she's not actually dead and she's just down the road and then we bump into each other and it's all like 'oh, hey, I'm not dead!' and I mean, what?! How do you deal with that?" She paused for breath. Kennedy bit her lower lip and was about to answer when Willow started talking again. "I know Buffy came back to life, but that was different. We planned that. I did that. I brought her back to life. But this is just a little bit too much right now. I mean, it's Tara. It's Tara…" She murmured her ex lover's name softly, almost reverently.

Kennedy bristled slightly, feeling jealousy settle in her gut at the way her girlfriend said that name. She knew she shouldn't, that it was stupid to get jealous. Willow was just trying to work things out. And that's what this babble was: working things out. Though now Willow had an anxious look on her face.

"What is it?" Kennedy asked. Willow looked down at her knees and heaved a sigh.

"I know I shouldn't…" She began slowly, and Kennedy sensed she wasn't going to like the rest of this sentence, "but I feel bad. I think seeing us together is hurting Tara." Kennedy had sensed right.

"Well, she did kind of die." She pointed out. Willow looked at her sharply. "What? She did! I'm sure she understands that you got over it and you found the awesomeness that is me."

"Kennedy, can't you at least try and be a bit sympathetic?"

"I am!"

"Imagine how you would feel in her place."

"I don't think I'm the best example…" Kennedy said, raising one eyebrow. Willow frowned softly.

"Why not?"

"Well…" Kennedy said slowly. "I'd totally go and beat her ass up. I'm kind of a brat, remember?" She grinned broadly, earning a small smile from Willow. "Now that's sorted out…" Kennedy shuffled closer, pushing on Willow's knees to make room for intimate snuggles. Willow, however, had other ideas. She pushed Kennedy away.

"Not now, Kennedy…" She said, looking away from the slayer. Kennedy pouted playfully and tried again.

"Aw, come on, Will…"

"I said not now." Willow snapped, causing Kennedy's dark eyes to flash angrily as she pulled back. "My dead girlfriend isn't so dead anymore. I'm a little shook up, so I'm sorry, but I'm not in the mood!"

"Right." Kennedy twisted away and leaped to her feet and started to change out of pyjamas and back into her day clothes. She had seen Willow and Tara making moon eyes at each other all night, the little inadvertent touches. It was driving her up the wall already.

"Where are you going?" Willow asked.

"Patrolling." Kennedy said gruffly, shoving a stake into her belt and narrowly missing impaling her butt on the business end. Willow winced. "To leave you with thoughts of Tara." She spat the name out as though it tasted bad in her mouth, and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind herself, leaving Willow to gape after her.

A/N: Okay so I know Kennedy seems harsh but I think it feels right. I love her and she's one of my favourite characters and, while I am a huge Willow/Tara fan, I liked her with Willow. But she really is a brat :P

Also, for those of you who think I'm mental… Look up the Jaffa Cakes full moon advert ;)