Chapter 12

They were silent. Statues of purpose; obedient, careful followers. In the military, rising in the ranks involved the quiet, sturdy men and women that paid careful attention to their higher ups. Those that followed the rules were rewarded handsomely. Those who opposed their orders were punished. Severely. In most cases, it was the punishment of banishment, which was bad enough for many people. But with the few exceptions, things involving betrayal of Cocoon by murder, whether it be an ally or civilian, were sentenced to death…

Each and every member stood side by side, their armored bodies straight and tall. All were watching their commander patiently, awaiting their next orders. Their commander, Roi, stood still, staring at a communicator. He had been stuck in that same position for nearly an hour, forcing the men under his command to wait.

Finally, the static of the radio started up and they all straightened up at attention. Roi pressed a button and put it up to his mouth. "Report," he ordered.

There was breathing on the other end, then a deep breath. "Things aren't going quite as planned, sir."

Desert Ruins:

The sun was just beginning to rise as Lightning awoke. Her head throbbed from sleeping against stone. She sat up, rubbing her eyes with her hand. They took a minute to adjust to the incoming sunlight and the haze from sleeping all night, but when they focused, she saw Sera was still asleep. To her dismay, she didn't see Sazh. Unless he already left, it was a very big hole in her plan. But if he did leave, it would be much easier to do.

She smiled a little, feeling better already. She could leave now, Sera could get out on her own. She knew where to go, she could survive. She got up slowly, avoiding any noise that would awaken the girl. She attached her bag to her leg and smiled a little. "Good bye, Sera," she whispered softly.

She started for the exit, feeling a small hint of guilt. She didn't know why it was so easy to leave someone without a way home, but it was. For some reason, she really didn't like it. She opened the door, staring out at the sand ship. It was shining in the sunlight. All except for the spots that were rusted, at least…

"Leaving so soon?" Sazh's voice interrupted her thoughts. She froze, her hand still on the door. Her grip tightened on it, her short fuse about to burst.

She glanced back at him. "What are you doing up so early?" she asked. He smiled.

"You trained me, remember?" he said, then thought. "Oh, right, you don't remember… well, you did. Every time I was late on getting up, you'd barge into my room and pour ice cold water all over me." He laughed lightly at the memory. "It was actually kind of fun to irritate you, if you eliminate the fact that you'd make us do more than our usual hundred sit ups two times a day."

She sighed. "Sazh, right?" He nodded. "I want to go alone. I NEED to go alone," she stated. He nodded.

"I understand. But think about this: Sera looks up to you. I can tell," he informed her. She looked at the door, unable to speak. "I used to look up to you, as well. She looks at you with those adoring eyes, those eyes that wish she could fight like you. To be able to protect yourself, it's an amazing ability. She doesn't necessarily like the fact that you have to save her a lot. It's an embarrassing thing to have to deal with."

"She's watched me fight. She can learn from that," she said, leaning back against the other door. He shook his head.

"You can't just leave us here, Lightning. The things you used to believe in, what happened to them?" he asked. She shrugged.

"I don't know what I used to believe in."

He smiled. "Well, let me tell you, then," he leaned against a wall, petting his chocobi. "You used to say that you never leave someone behind. There was always a way to solve the problem AND save a life. There was always a way to deal with each other."

She frowned and looked up at the sky, which was brightening and turning more blue with each passing minute. "I did?" He nodded. "Hmm." She stayed quiet, thinking to herself. Sazh was right. She needed to get them all out. They all needed to survive. She shouldn't be so selfish. So what if Sera got on her nerves? So what if Sazh was a baby? They were people. And all people deserved equal treatment.

"You're right," she said. His face broke out into a smile. "I need to help you guys, then I can leave you." The smile faded again.

"So, either way, you're leaving us?" he asked. She could tell he was extremely upset. A slight sense of pity entered her.

"Pretty much," she stated, closing the door that she had opened. His smile returned. She let out a somewhat exasperated sigh, taking out her sword to clean it up. It was stained from the last few battles she'd been in. The rag that she reached for in her bag was stained as well, and it didn't help that the rag was white. She made a mental note to get a new one sometime soon.

Sazh, who sat beside her, laughed a bit. "That's one dirty rag. Proves how many battles you've been in." She nodded at the statement, but didn't answer. She didn't know what else to say. She wanted to leave, but now she felt a pain inside of her at the thought. A small section of her didn't want to leave them. They were ( and it didn't matter how many times she denied it ) her friends now. They were all connected somehow. She was attached. It may annoy her, but she couldn't help it.

After a long while of silence, she took a breath. "How long was I your commander?" she asked, to his surprise. He chuckled a little.

"A long time," he answered. "I don't even remember how many years it was. I was one of the first people in your troop, which was three years ago." She looked at him, a question too embarrassing to ask on the tip of her tongue. He noticed her doubt and laughed quietly. "Just ask. I won't laugh."

She stayed silent another minute, but opened her mouth to speak. "How did I become commander?"

He stopped laughing. "That's what you were so embarrassed to ask?" he asked. She shrugged. "Okay, then. I'll answer. There was a battle down here on Pulse. Cocoon and it's military were sent here to take care of the problem before it escalated and lead to Cocoons destruction." His voice was distant again. She wondered if this was a habit when he was telling stories. She leaned in closer so she could actually hear him when he started again.

"We went down to battle. There were so many of them, I'm surprised we did it. We fought, and during the battle, your commander and the old admiral were killed in action. Many of us paused our fighting, which caused many more of us to die. You took it very personally. Your commander was like your father. You looked up to him." Lightning's brow furrowed in confusion. She wished, yet again, that she could remember this. "Your anger took control of you. You attacked, your rage was so powerful in you that you took out almost half of them on your own. The battle ended a half an hour later, and over half of Cocoons military that had gone down was dead or dying." He took a deep, painfully slow breath. This memory couldn't be pleasant for him, either.

"When we got back, there was a funeral for those who died to protect the city. You received two badges, one for bravery, and one for your involvement in the battle. After a few days of mourning for the dead, the new admiral, a man named Nayl, offered you a position in place of your commander. You took it, wanting to train a troop that would exceed expectations." He looked up at her finally. The story was coming to an end, she assumed. "And that you did. Your troops, our troops, were the best in the military."

She let the information sink in, thinking it over. She was commander of the best troops. She wanted so badly to remember it. The crystal. She needed to find it, and soon. Her sanity was slowly leaving her the longer her memory was gone, she'd realized. The longer she went not remembering, the more irritable she got. More annoyed, more angry with herself.

She glanced up at him, seeing the sympathetic smile that played along his lips. The smile reminded her of someone. The same smile, half sad, half pity, had come across her before. Only before, it had been on Snow, the first day she remembered meeting him.

"Thanks," she mumbled, the right corner of her mouth twitching upward for a slight second. Sazh's eyebrows rose in surprise, and he stood up straighter.

"Wait," he said. She halted her steps. "Did you just….smile?"

She looked over her shoulder. "Attempted? Yes. Did I smile?…no. Not quite."

He smirked. "That looked like a smile to me," he teased. She shook her head.

"Don't make me regret an attempted smile," she warned, her bright blue eyes shining with happy realization. He chewed on the inside of his lip. What was she thinking? Did she remember something?

Before he could ask, she was walking over to a soundly sleeping Sera. She stood above her and stared down at her. Her boot tapped roughly against the girls shoulder. Sera, quite shocked and rudely woken up, shot off the ground and looked around swiftly. "What's going on?"

"We're leaving," Lightning said informatively. "If you want to catch a ride, you'd better wake up now."

Sera frowned and stood up, dusting herself off. "That was a rude way to wake me up. You could've --"

"I could've what?" Lightning asked, interrupting her. She turned to face her. "Asked you quietly like a mother for you to get up? To keep doing the same thing over and over again for an hour until you actually did wake up? No, you're following me, you can listen to me and wake up any way I wake you up." Her voice was harsh and commanding, but there was a playful hint in her face that Sera saw. It was mainly in her eyes, a bright shining that had settled there. Her mouth was twitching, her lips pressed tightly together in an attempt to keep her smile down. Sera tilted her head.

"Hey, why are you so happy?" she asked. The smile faded. She turned around, ignoring her question.

"So if we leave now, how long will it take us to get back?" she asked, changing the subject away from Sera.

Sazh scratched the stubble on his chin. "I figure maybe until noon, depending on how fast this thing can go," he answered. Sera poked in the conversation.

"It goes kind of slow, but it's way faster than walking," she piped up. He smiled.

"Well then, it sounds like maybe around mid afternoon," he corrected. "Better than walking."

Lightning huffed in semi-silent amusement. "Trust me, you don't even know how much better it is."

Sazh smiled. "Looks like I'm about to find out."

They walked in a triangle toward the sand ship after they exited the chapel-type area; Lightning up front, and Sazh walking side by side with Sera. The three ally's stopped at the hull of the ship. Sera went over to the door and typed in a code. Lightning looked at Sazh.

"She didn't tell me she had a code…" she muttered to him. He chuckled softly.

"Me and her set it last night when you fell asleep," he told her. Her mouth dropped a little and she looked at him.

He shrugged. "We didn't want you leaving us," he explained. His smile widened again. It seemed like there were only two emotions on him: happy and sad. She was curious to see what he was like when he was angry.

Sera yelped in joy as the door slid open. She looked at them triumphantly. "Go on in," she said happily. Lightning was the first to step inside, soon followed by Sazh and an eager Sera. They all sat down, squished together in the three small seats. Lightning groaned.

"If we get any more people in our party, we'd better get an upgrade on this ship," she complained. Sera nodded in agreement.

"I was just thinking the same…" she paused, swinging her head around to look at the usually serious, angry woman. "Wait, in OUR party?" she asked.

Lightning shrugged, leaning back in the chair. She cleared her throat. "I mean, if we run into anyone else on the way back. You know, stranded people, those who are stuck out here and need a way home," she corrected quickly.

Sazh smiled and looked out the front windshield, as Sera sighed. "Right. I don't know what I was thinking."

"I don't know. Looks like you're getting too attached to me," Lightning said, giving a knowing look over to Sazh, who smiled in an approving manner.

He leaned over to Lightning's ear. "I don't know what you're doing, but I have the feeling that it's not what I would've expected from you," he complemented.

She smiled lightly and looked out the window. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said, the same small smile playing lightly on her lips. He rose an eyebrow and turned back to the window, a mix between confusion and approval lining his facial features. Things might turn out just fine after all.