Hey guys. I know it's been a couple of weeks but I've been super busy. Especially this week.

So this week in particular has been crazy. I've had two presentations and got my grades back today. I got a 1st in one (which is the highest grade you can get) and a 2.1 in the other (which is the second highest) so it's safe to say I'm buzzing right now haha

Anyway I'll let you read it now haha enjoy

Mom, Jane and I are gonna drive into Pittsburg to go to the movies," I called as I made my way downstairs. There was no answer. I frowned as I walked into the living room. "Mom? Mom where are you?" She wasn't in the living room so I checked the dining room and then the kitchen. I even checked in the back yard but she wasn't there so I walked back upstairs. "Mom?" I called again as I pushed the door to my parent's bedroom open. My mom was sitting on the chair beside her window staring at something. "Mom, did you hear me?"

She jumped at the sound of my voice and looked at me. "Oh, sorry baby. I didn't hear you."

I noticed the wet marks on her cheeks and frowned. "Mom, what's the matter?"

"Nothing, baby."

"Why are you crying?" I asked as I walked closer to her. I noticed a letter in her hands. "What's that?"

She didn't answer as she slowly handed me the letter and then hid her face in both hands. I frowned as I began to read:

Mrs Renee Swan

275 East Magnolia Street

Cherokee, Kansas

It is with very great regret I write to supplement the very sad news that your husband, Sergeant Charlie Swan, passed away at 4.00 pm yesterday afternoon after a roadside bomb hit his convoy. Your husband was unconscious, despite all of the efforts from the medical staff to revive him. In spite of all that was done to revive your husband, he remained unconscious and passed away quite peacefully. I hope you understand that all efforts were made to revive your husband but no human skill was able to save his life.

Your husband's body will be returned to the United States of America for you to bury him as you so wish to do. Please await for further communications regarding the arrival of your husband.

I would like to put forth that your husband died a hero as, as a result, will be awarded a Bronze-Star Medal for his heroism during the attack, when he bravely risked his life to protect those in his convoy. He will also be awarded a Purple Heart.

May the benedictions of our Heavenly Father be on you and other surviving members of the family.

Most sincerely, Billy M. Black

Billy M. Black

Major General

By the time I had finished reading I was sobbing, hot tears falling down my face. I threw the letter on the floor and ran out of the room, into my bedroom. I heard my mom following as I jumped onto my bed and sobbed into my pillow.

I couldn't believe it. My dad couldn't be gone. He just couldn't be. He promised me. He promised me he'd never leave.

"Liar!" I shouted to the room as my mom opened my door.

"Sweetie," she started."

"Go away!"

"Bells."

"Don't. Don't you ever call me that! That was his name for me. You're not allowed to call me that."

"Okay. I'll leave you alone."

The day passed slowly. I heard the door ring and my mom answered it. My friends voices drifted up the stairs, as well as my mom's telling them I couldn't go out. I heard her best friend, Heidi, answer the door and I heard my mom's shaky voice as she explained that my dad wouldn't be coming home. I listened for hours as they cried and, somehow, managed to fall asleep to the sound of my mom's sobs.

Days passed and news about my dad spread around town like wildfire. It seemed like every few minutes someone new would knock on the door to offer their condolences and to give us a dish of food. How many fucking lasagna's did the good people of Cherokee think two people could eat?

The day of the funeral arrived and I dressed silently and made my way downstairs where my mom and some close friends were waiting. Heidi hugged me tightly when I walked into the living room while I stood rigidly.

When it was finally time to go to the church, mom and I climbed into the back of the car and she held my hand during the short journey. We made our way inside and the whole town stared as we made our way to the front pew.

The service was long and I sat silently, listening to the weeping behind me. When the service was finished, mom and I led the town to the cemetery and we watched while my father was lowered into the ground. Everyone left shortly after and headed down to the wake while mom and I stayed at the grave for a little bit longer.

"Sweetie, I know you're having a hard time, but we'll get through this together. Me and you. We have to be here for each other. It's gonna be hard but we can do it if we stick together." I didn't answer as she wrapped her arms around me and held me close to her.

The wake was already underway and my mom went to join a table where they were sharing stories about my dad. I stood in the corner for less than five minutes before deciding I had had enough and walked out and made my way back to my house.

The two-story house I had be raised in, which was filled with laughter and fond family memories, was in darkness when I got home; something I found fitting considering the day I had just had. I didn't bother turning any lights on as I made my way through the house and up the stairs. I was about to go into my room when I saw the streetlight shining through the window of my parent's bedroom.

I made my way inside and looked around, taking in all of the familiar items; the family photos and the trinkets that my dad always used to hate, but put up with because he knew my mom loved her little collections.

I made my way over to their closet and brushed my hand along the clothes that belonged to my dad. I took one of his army jackets off of the hanger and put it on over my dress. I put the lapel to my nose and sniffed, taking in the fragrance of my late father.

I climbed onto my dad's side of the bed and began to cry myself to sleep.

Poor Bella, I can't imagine what she's going through

So there's only one outtake left guys and then we're finished :'( I'm not sure how to feel about that haha

Thanks for reading. Until next time.

xoxo

RKandCarrieFan

p.s. congrats Kristen Stewart on your NYFCC award, BOFCA award and BSA award. Bring on that Oscar!

p.p.s. congrats Carrie Underwood on yet another Grammy award!