A/N: I struggled a lot with this chapter, but I hope it turned out fine. Thanks to the help and support of my great beta Bibi I could finish this chapter, she's really incredible! ;)

Last chapter I didn't get as much reviews as usual so I hope everyone's still liking the story. If not, and you got bored or something, please let me know!

Anyway, enough of my talking, enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own the vampire diaries.

Chapter 12

It had been four hours! Four fucking hours! And still, they were operating her brother. She was sitting in the waiting room with Anna by her side, biting nervously on her nails before she started to pace around the colorless room again.

The doctors had told them her brother had been in an incredibly dangerous accident and he needed surgery. That's all they knew; four hours later, still, no doctor or anyone to tell her the relieving news that he was okay. She couldn't stand the thought that he might not be okay. What would she do? She couldn't lose him! She'd lost so many people already. It wasn't fair. Life wasn't fair.

It all started on her sixteenth birthday. Together with some friend they went out to a party but she hadn't told her parents. She lied to them and told them she was going go to a sleepover at Caroline's. But that's not where she went; instead she went to the pool party. When her parents found out where she was they've been furious and they called her to tell her they would come and get her. She'd been so embarrassed that they wouldn't let her stay there.

Elena hadn't exactly been thrilled to see them. She'd started shouting horrible things at them, telling them that they were the worst parents a girl could have, which of course was a huge lie. She loved them, they were her parents.

It was a rainy night and their car had started slipping on the bridge and landed into the cold water on the way home. Sheriff Forbes was just on her way to the station when the accident happened and she'd tried to save them, but after she'd gotten Elena out of the water it was already too late for her parents.

She'd been so depressed after they passed and not just because she just lost her parents, but also because, the last thing she told them was that she hated them. She didn't' of course she didn't. No child hates his parents, they just pretend they do, because they think that makes them cool, to rebel against them. She loved them with her whole heart and soul, they meant everything to her. And yes, she blamed herself; if it hadn't been for her, her parents would've stayed home and the accident would've never happened. More importantly, she was still alive and they weren't and it was all her fault!

A month later she'd found out they weren't her birth parents and she'd been devastated.

After a long search, she'd finally found the address of her real mother and she went looking for her. But when she arrived at the house, no one was there. According to the neighbor, her real mother died from cancer and her husband had attempted suicide after losing his wife. After a few talks with a psychologist they'd send him to an institution so they would be able to help him, but it didn't work and he started feeling worse. After only a week in the clinic, the head nurse found his lifeless body lying on the floor.

She'd been broken, her entire world had shattered around her and she'd lost her will to live. It was then the moment her problems had started for real, she'd lost her appetite, which led to massive weight loss, which led to sickness. It took her two full years to conquer her 'disease'. But even today, she still had to fight the urge to just skip all her dinners.

Her life had been so tough, but she'd done everything to get better, to start fresh and make her life worth living. But what was she going to do now? What if Jeremy won't get better? What if he won't survive this? She couldn't live without him, he'd been her last hope, the last person she'd let into her life. She couldn't lose her brother, it just wasn't possible.

"Miss Gilbert?" she suddenly heard someone asking.

She turned around to see a male doctor standing in front of her; he was wearing one of those creepy white coats that always scared her when she was little. "Yes?" she asked afraid. What if he was going to tell her that her brother…that he…he…

Before she could end her thoughts the doctor spoke again, his voice serious and controlled. "I'm afraid I don't have good news." She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, ready to roll over her face. He didn't have good news for her…her brother wasn't just going to be fine. Fucking hell! Her stupid life was falling apart all over again.

"Your brother did survive the accident." She immediately felt relieved, he was still alive. "But…" Oh god, that was the last word she wanted to hear, he was alive that was good, she didn't need more…she didn't need 'but'. He had to be okay, he just had to. She hated buts…she truly did and certainly when a doctor used the word.

"I'm afraid we don't know if he'll wake up again," the doctor ended. He let a hand on her shoulder to calm her down, but she pulled away immediately, like she could've caught a mortal virus by his touch.

"What do you mean? You don't know if he's going to wake up?" she almost yelled, the fury welling up in her body. She'd kill the one that was responsible for this…that doctor may hope he did his job well otherwise…

"Your brother had a terrible accident, Miss Gilbert. After the surgery he went into a deep coma and we're not sure he'll ever wake up from it again. Even when he'll wake up…we can't be sure how big the damage of his brains will be."

"What if he doesn't wake up?" she tried to control her voice, but it didn't work. The tears were already rolling down her face.

"Well, we can't be sure until the moment it happens, but you should prepare yourself if he does wake up. It is possible that his brain had been completely damaged which would make him more or less a vegetable; or partial brain damage, like forgot how to speak or walk. Also memory loss it's pretty common in these cases." The doctor explained and the truth hit her like a truck and she couldn't stop the tears from rolling down even harder. She could feel her breath accelerate to the point where she thought she'll stop breathing all along and a panic attack had started. She knew it was a panic attack cause she got them frequently. Her heart started to go in overdrive and she knew she had to calm down, but she was unable to catch her breath.

"You've to calm down, ma'am. Try to breath normally…inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale…" the doctor started repeating the words on the right tempo and very slowly, her breathing started to become normal again. She could still feel the blood rushing through her veins, but she didn't faint, not like the last time.

Very slowly she started to calm down and she tried to look at Anna who was now shaking violently herself. "Oh my gosh Elena, are you okay?" the girl asked worried, immediately giving her a hug when she nodded she was okay.

"Do you have these often?" the doctor asked from behind her. She didn't even know he was still there.

"Sometimes. When I panic I usually faint."

"It's not healthy, Miss. When did you have your last check up?"

"It's been a while," she admitted. She hated hospitals; she only went to a doctor when she was sick to death, which thank God, hadn't happened in quite awhile.

"I think it would be for the best if we'd check you today. If everything's alright you've no reason to be afraid."

"Sure. It won't harm me." Today was not a day to be afraid… she had to be strong for her little brother.

"Indeed. Good. Now I've another question, do you have a lot of stress in your everyday life?"

She shrugged, "Maybe a little." That was the biggest lie ever.

"Well, I think that's your biggest problem, Miss Gilbert. The attacks will come more frequently if you don't stop stressing out. I'm sure you've your reasons, but I think it would be a good idea to talk with a psychologist."

"What?" she asked shocked. She didn't want to go to a psychologist; it reminded her too much about the past and the death of her parents. When her eating disorder had started, Jenna had forced her to go see a psychologist and she had hated it from day one. She hated talking about what happened, over and over again, it always ended with tears.

"It's just a suggestion, ma'am. Well I have to go now," the doctor announced.

"Can I see him?"

"Of course, but no more than two visitors a time."

"Sure," she answered quickly before pulling Anna with her towards the hospital room where Jeremy was 'sleeping'.

She silently opened the door and peered through the opening, her brother was lying there so peacefully. If it weren't been for the scares, you wouldn't guess he's been in a car accident.

"My sweet baby brother," she said softly, starting to sob. She moved a little closer and took his hand in hers, caressing the back of it.

"I can't believe it really happened," she heard Anna say in the background.

"I can't believe it either, everything was going so well."

"From what I've heard, it wasn't even his fault. The other driver was drunk when he hit Jeremy."

"What happened to the driver?" Elena asked suddenly very mad.

"He died after his car hit a tree. I suppose the impact was fatal."

Elena just nodded, still shocked by what happened. Her brother was hurt and she couldn't fix it. She couldn't do anything, she was helpless. She felt like a terrible sister for not protecting him, it should've been her in that car, not her little brother. It was all her fault.

Why was she still alive while all the people she loved died? Would Caroline be the next one? Or Jenna?

She couldn't let that happen, she had to do something about it. She…

"Elena? Are you alright?" she heard a voice behind her ask. Even between her own sobs she could still recognize his voice.

She turned around and pulled him into an embrace, sobbing now heavily against his chest, like he was the last thing that would keep her standing.

"Shh, it will be okay."

"No, it won't! It won't, Damon!" she yelled, looking at her feet. "My brother…"

"Elena, you've to stay strong. Your brother needs you," he whispered before kissing her hair softly.

She let herself relax in his strong arms, feeling better already. She wasn't in this alone; she did have someone to help her…although she didn't know if she wanted someone. What if she would lose him too? What if he would be the next person she'll lose?

She couldn't let him in, she couldn't take his love. She would sign his destiny by loving him, cause he would die on her sooner or later …everyone did.

He was the best thing that ever happened to her, but she had to let him go, she needed to. There was no other option and she knew it.

She let go of him and stepped out of their embrace, leaving him alone, she ran off. She ran and ran, through the hospital hallways without looking back. She had to get out of there before anything terrible would happen.

He stood there, not knowing what to do. When he'd heard something had happened to Elena's brother he'd immediately left the office to find her. He knew how devastated she would be and he wanted to help her so badly.

When he walked in and saw her crying, his heart ached. He wanted to make it all better, so he had been happy when she hugged him. He wanted to comfort her, tell her it would be alright, but she didn't listen…she was too far gone in her own thoughts already. And all he could do was watch.

Then she ran away and he had no idea what to do. Should he run after her? Should he leave her alone and give her some time to progress what happened? He had no clue at all. She was so hard to figure out, even now he still didn't know her well enough to be sure what would be the right thing to do.

This morning, she'd looked so happy… thinking he was responsible for that happiness affected him more than it should have. He'd felt proud knowing he could make her so happy. Even if she wasn't ready for a relationship, he knew they had something and he won't let her go. This time he will fight for her, he won't give her the chance to run away again.

After she'd run away he had been so pissed off, but on the moment it didn't matter anymore. Even after what happened in the past, he still wanted to get to know her, find out who she really was. He was starting to like her, a lot.

But now, he didn't know what to do. He wanted to give her space, wanted to do what was best for her…but what was for the best? Going after her would probably only make things worse. She would start yelling again and push him further away. So what was the point of making her even more furious? Maybe by tomorrow she'd cool down.

"Mr. Salvatore?" a voice asked from behind him. When he turned around he saw his employee Caroline standing a few steps in front of him. He was actually glad to see her, maybe she knew what he had to do.

"Hello Caroline," he answered politely, deliberately not using her full name, she was here as a friend of Elena, not as an employee.

"Where's Lena? Did she already left?" the girl asked surprised.

"She just took off. I think she needs some time alone, she was pretty upset."

"I can imagine. I just heard Jer isn't doing that well."

"From what the doctors have told me, it looks like he'll probably have brain damage for the rest of his life when he wakes up again…if he wakes up again." He whispered; it just seemed that if would've said that louder it would've sounded more painful.

"Yeah, I heard the same thing. Elena's probably falling apart at the moment, she had already lost so many people."

He nodded. "I only know her parents are dead."

"You'll probably have to ask her if you want to know more about the story."

"Of course." He understood she was a loyal friend, and he was glad, Elena needed someone like her.

"What are you going to do?" she asked curiously. Well good question, he thought sadly. He didn't have a clue.

"To be honest with you, I don't know."

"I think you should go after her. I know she probably won't appreciate it at the moment, but in the end, she'll be very happy to have you around. She needs someone she can count on."

"Are you sure I'm the right person? Maybe she just needs her best friend."

"Is the great Damon Salvatore scared?" she asked playfully, trying to lighten up the mood.

"Shitless, just don't tell anyone!" he answered and Caroline smiled weakly. "I just want her to be okay, if she doesn't want me around, I'll better stay away."

"Oh, she most certainly wants you around. She's just too afraid to admit it herself. She probably thinks you'll get hurt because of her. You should know, all the people she loves seem to die around her all the time and it freaks her out."

"I can imagine why."

"That's the point. She doesn't want you in her life, not because she doesn't like you, but because she's afraid you'll get hurt because of her."

"That's ridiculous." How could she think such thing? She is a great woman who deserves happiness. She couldn't be the reason he got hurt, 'a person could never be responsible for another person's life' he always said.

"I know, but for Elena it's the only thing she knows. She just doesn't let people in."

"You really think it's a good idea to go and find her?" he asked one last time, still unsure. He really didn't want to upset her.

"Two hundred percent."

"Well then, I'll better go," he said turning around.

"Good luck!" she yelled behind him, he was going to need it. Knowing Elena, he would have a tough time helping her out.

Thanks for reading! I know there's really a lot of information in this chapter on a very short time…but if you've questions, feel free to ask!

Oh, and don't hate me for letting her run again...I just couldn't stop her, lol. But hey, he's coming after her, right?

Review and let me know what you think of it! (maybe I could give you some spoilers for the next chapters?) :D

xoxo